Nanoha StrikerS — the S is for Sucks

It seems like the entire world is against me on this, but I hate Nanoha. The entire series is generic and uninspired. The story is cliched and predictable. The characters are flat (in more than one way) and uninteresting.

Nanoha StrikerS

I thought that maybe it’s because I am not a lolicon. Maybe it would be better if the girls were older. Nanoha StrikerS sounded like a pretty good idea. But apparently, I was wrong. It’s just as boring as ever. Let me summarize the first episode the way I saw it…

First we are introduced to Subaru, a generic hyperactive (as emphasized by her bandanna, her hand guards and her rollerskates) girl who was rescued by Nanoha from a fire and spent the following years of her life fantasizing about having hawt lesbian relationship with her saviour. I hate her.

Nanoha StrikerS
“My right hand is swelling with justice!”

Next to her is Teana, a generic tsundere twin-tail redhead who obviously has the hawts for Subaru but refuses to admit it due to her over-inflated pride. She is secretly jealous of Nanoha’s position in Subaru’s heart but at the same time she refuses to be true to her feelings and desperately tries to convince herself that she is straight. In other words, she’s a textbook example of tsunderekko. She carries a revolver that can also act as a grappling hook, making it one of the most innovative weapons in the entire series. Not.

Nanoha StrikerS
“This grappling hook revolver is a metaphor for my confused sexuality.”

The two of them are taking the qualifying exam to become serfs of the Space Time Administration. In order to pass the test to become agents for this paramilitary organization that seems to hire nearly nothing but girls, something that would’ve gotten it sued by ACLU if Japan were America, Subaru and Teana must destroy a bunch of targets within a set amount of time. Targets that move slower than the Earth’s tectonic plates and shoot tiny pulses of beams that look like they can’t even power a pocket calculator.

But somehow Teana manages to get owned anyway. The over-confident tsundere girl getting owned by a puny target drone? How unexpected. Clearly a new benchmark for future plot twists in the series.

Nanoha StrikerS
“I love you but I gotta hit you to pretend that I don’t!”

And what is even more unexpected is that despite the leg injury suffered by Teana, the two of them managed to come up with a daring and vague plan to destroy the final boss which happens to be a large generical spherical object. Shocking. I was so touched by the friendship and love they displayed through their splendid teamwork that I weeped. Or maybe it’s just sand.

Nanoha StrikerS
“Watch me skate uphill on a glowing path made of pure love!”

At this point I decided that maybe I should stop watching before the awesomeness of this show overwhelms my brain’s capacity and drives me insane with its sheer brilliance. But it was too late. My body refused to respond and I couldn’t lift my hands to reach for the left mouse button. I resigned to my fate (LOL FATE).

So anyway the two girls passed their test. Hurray! I didn’t see that one coming. Nanoha makes her grand entrance with a face that’s just as loli as ever. Apparently people in this show don’t grow older, they just grow bigger and taller. Either that or the character designer needs to work on his proportions.

Nanoha StrikerS
takamachi nanoha desu.

Subaru immediately goes into wai wai fangirl mode and attempts to glomp Nanoha. Teana pretends to not care but curses Nanoha in her heart. And they live happily ever after. The end.

Actually, I admit that I’m not being fair to the episode with this summary… I made it sound more interesting than it really is. :/

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96 Responses to Nanoha StrikerS — the S is for Sucks

  1. Tsubaki says:

    Eat shit and die.

    How can you not like Nanoha. Self-denial.

  2. Endz says:

    :o… From the way you reviewed it, it seemed you liked the show xD.

    Don’t tell me you watch the first 3 episode of MSLN and decided to call it quits (like me, and one year later watched episode 4 when Fate arrived and got converted).

  3. DarkMirage says:

    I finished Nanoha and Nanoha A’s. I felt cheated after that.

  4. Anonymous says:

    DM is obviously tsundere for the Nanoha series.

  5. CSmith says:

    I like Nanoha, but I think StrikerS was a huge mistake. I liked the 1st and 2nd seasons, they should’ve ended it with the second season and left what their was to the imagination.

    I don’t like the older characters, don’t like the new voices, I think they ruined it with this 3rd season, it’s such a shame >_

  6. panda says:

    a ten year later kinda storyline seems exaggerated.. and something tells me i can oreadi guess wads gna happen

  7. Jade Maehara says:

    I love Nanoha…

    But I want a spin-off show featuring Vita and the other knights…

  8. dKiWi says:

    lol interesting how even tho i noe how popular Nanoha is, I couldn’t get past the first episode. And I’m somewhat of a lolicon like I love anime like Manabi Straight! and Ichigo Mashimaro. Thx for the reconfirmation, DM. ^^

  9. blerg says:

    Your comment at the end is correct, you did make it seem more interesting than it was.

  10. Dark Koji says:

    Same opinion? I also had the same bored-feeling while watching it.
    I am just watching it because Mizuki Nana is cv’ Fate. …Can’t resist not watching…

  11. It’s good to see some more hate for this series to balance out all the blind praise of it.

    That being said I haven’t seen a Nanoha series ever :V

  12. §oL says:

    its only the 1st episode…
    doesn’t mean the rest of the show will suck.
    think suzumiya haruhi…

  13. lolikit says:

    DM, everything you say about Tea’s tsundere? Yeah, replace Tea with you and Subaru with this show, and you get a pretty accurate account :o

    >>its only the 1st episode…
    >>doesn’t mean the rest of the show will suck.
    >>think suzumiya haruhi…

    But Suzumiya Haruhi’s first episode was the best episode of the show. After it, we found out that the rest of the show *was* that crappy film from episode one… meaning that the rest of the show sucked. BAD EXAMPLE. A better example would be… hmm… Kaze no Yojimbo with its crappily-paced, boring first episode!

  14. Hinano says:

    LOL I don’t like Nanoha either XD

  15. Mark says:

    Lol, this is a prime example of a show being hated just to be different. Anyone can find plenty of faults in anything if they look hard enough just like it’s easy for someone to find the good in things just because they like them.

    All of the points you made could easily be translated to practically any other anime as they’re all 100% opinion, no facts – well other than the spherical training things, but obviously they aren’t going to be the main enemies of the show. ^^;

    Sorry DM. ;P

  16. edogawaconan says:

    u fail then >:|

  17. dKiWi says:

    >>its only the 1st episode…
    doesn’t mean the rest of the show will suck.
    think suzumiya haruhi…
    >>

    The first episode of Suzumiya Haruhi isn’t the first real episode while the first episode of Nanoha is the real one.

  18. exalt dragon says:

    So it was awfully generic and predictable. So are 34919832 other anime series.

  19. LianYL says:

    Along with the comments above.

  20. JS says:

    Alas, you’ve incurred the wrath of the Nanoha fanboys.

    …I’m gonna watch the Lucky Star CM again…

  21. DarkMirage says:

    So it was awfully generic and predictable. So are 34919832 other anime series.

    And I don’t like 34919832 other anime series. But I don’t hate them because they don’t have hordes of fanboys telling me that I should like those series.

    And LianYL is right. Your comment is awfully generic and predictable too.

  22. Zeroblade says:

    I agree with the first, second, fourth, seventh, fifteenth, sixteenth and twentieth comments. And just for the record, they do get one male, but then it’s shota anyway.

    also, I laughed at your LOL FATE comment.

  23. Nagumo says:

    The only reason why I watch this show is for the FIGHTS OF AWESOMENESS and Signum…

    I was extremely bored with the first episode too… perhaps I’ll just rely on other people’s reviews and just watch the episodes that are relevant to my interests.

  24. hitoshura says:

    The wrath of nanoha fans are never to be messed with! RAWR!

    I’m watching this show purely for FATE. you cant say she still looks loli. She matured nicely! Nanoha and Hayate are just typical baby faced japanese high school girls man! give em a chance lol.

    Oh and you should have checked out kurogane’s nanoha post on nanoha’s very initial concept (before even the first nanoha), then watch the youtube video. the present nanoha was made 9999 times more cool than wat it initially was.

    Yuuno wasnt the ferret, the ferret transform into some miko type girl.

  25. Knowngni says:

    So far StrikerS sucks for me IMO, The only reason im watching it is for Hayate/Reinforce and MILFate. Really the feeling I have now is that its just being dragged on and milked for money. We’ll see though, since im giving it 3 more episodes to peak my interest. If it doesnt by then then im just gonna read blogs of it.

  26. quigonkenny says:

    “that seems to hire nearly nothing but girls, something that would’ve gotten it sued by ACLU if Japan were America,”

    Puhleese… “Nothing but girls”… “Sued by ACLU”… Something tells me you don’t know much about the ACLU. Only way they’d sue a group of females is if they were a religious group, and even then, only if it were a traditional religious group. Besides, they’ve got a token Shota, he just hasn’t shown up yet.

    Grasping at things to knock the show on? Classic tsundere behavior…

  27. Kresnik says:

    Well, I guess we share the same view..
    Those rabid fanboys out there really wanted to see their used-to-be favorite loli charas grown into MILF.. Even though I watch the other 2 series, I still don’t get their magic.. I’m watching this so I can keep up with discussion only, even though I want to quit.

  28. Lenners says:

    I agree with you. Nanoha sucks, let’s move on :]

  29. Endz says:

    omg… so many nanoha haters here xD.

  30. daRAT says:

    Odd, I found this to be one of the better written anime first episodes I have every scene. Nice touch to see Subaru as a crybaby in the begining anf at the end, the episode felt like it had closure.

    Also, and I’ll burn in hell for this, I couldn’t wait to see the scene switch back to SubXTea again, even from a Nanoha scene.

    Blunty, I am HOOKED!

  31. MegaVolt says:

    I’m a huge Nanoha fan, but this first episode of StrikerS was pretty damn sub-par, IMO.

    But even then, this is such a troll post it’s not even funny. Shame on you, DM. SHAME.

  32. Asteroth says:

    Me watched (misword) 0 episode of Nanoha thingy, so I think you can be considered a fan to be able to watch 2 full seasons of Nanoha stuff

  33. big_eye says:

    very nice review DM very nice! I had a good laugh.

  34. DarkMirage says:

    quigonkenny: I was referring to the apparent gender bias in the hiring policy of a quasi-governmental law enforcement agency but it kind of falls apart if I have to explain my jokes.

    Anyway, I declare Nagasarete Airantou the best show of this season. LOL.

  35. Azu says:

    I’m still amazed how the series has spanned a 3rd season. Looking at how it came along (Toraha 3) I really felt there are a lot of other things that should have as much coverage that came from eroge.

    But actually, making the girls grown-up does kill most of the roricon fanboys who followed it. We’ll just have to endure this one last season.

    A bad time to air too, what with the list of other nice anime airing at the same time.

  36. exalt dragon says:

    @DarkMirage: You know you really don’t feel that way deep down inside ;)

  37. Nighty says:

    I like Nanoha-verse.

    1. For Graham.

    2. For Yuuno. I have a thing for guys with SO MUCH character development potential (( he’s an orphan, that’s MORE than enough )) but the writers prefer to do other things than exploit greatness.

    3. For Chrono. Because he’s the only guy who’s better.

    The girls? I don’t mind them…but I don’t love them.

  38. Kojak says:

    I’m with you. I hate Nanoha… This show sucks.

  39. Phenie says:

    /me slaps you

  40. Beowulf Lee says:

    The size of the fanbase of this franchise is as baffling to me as to why my President is in office.

  41. Yyi says:

    >>Anyway, I declare Nagasarete Airantou the best show of this season. LOL.

    Finally, someone agrees with me. I wouldn’t mind if Nagasarete Airantou suddenly went into nudity zone like Code Geass. It’ll definitely put it ahead of the manga, which definitely has the material for that.

    As for Nanoha StrikerS, the 1st episode pretty much turned me off as well. Not up to expectations in comparison to Nanoha A, but hopefully the 2nd episode might save it. 3 main characters sleeping together on the same bed with oversized shirts in the preview, yes…that might work out.

    Now to convince my friend that the 1st episode isn’t worth watching.

  42. 4d person says:

    Don’t worry – I despise “Nanoha” with the deepest passion too

  43. Lokids says:

    Who originally dislike Nanoha why watched it? No meaning in it. Personalities doesn’t changed at all. Just got “boobies”.
    And if they’ll fight a lot (hope), then we get a great show. Fighting scene was always the best part of Nanoha. Fight with high-tech weapons… I always loved sci-fi. :)

    Sorry for my bad Engrish. bye

  44. exalt dragon says:

    Your webhost was suffering a DoS attack yesterday right?

  45. tj_han says:

    I declare all Nanoha lovers to be failures at life. Jesus said so.

    So Hinano, DM, me and a few others will form the elite core of the new world order, aptly titled, the Order of the Wicked Knights.

    On a similar note, any show with a gender imbalance sucks. All guys = yaoi show. Al girls = harem/fanservice show. This is inevitable.

    Note that all the great shows have a good mix. Sports series are an exception though.

  46. Tiny Red Man says:

    hmm….different people has different opinions..so if you think its bad, its bad..not use trying to convert you..lol…i’m just watching it for the OP… :X

  47. I dunno about Jesus, but I bet DM feels himself deep down inside.

  48. Eric says:

    You are just a generic anti-fanboy who obviously has the hawts for Nanoha but refuses to admit it due to your over-inflated pride.

  49. Mimi says:

    Well, I liked the first two seasons. They were okay. The Nanoha series isn’t the best I’ve seen, but I really like the magic art (you know, the magic circles and things). Hmm. Well, the characters are slightly boring. And, so far… StrikerS isn’t really attracting me. It has a total of 26 episodes, so it’ll be a while until it starts on the storyline. It is pretty cliched, but I’m giving it a chance since I prefer to watch and understand the anime/show until I can finally form a solid opinion. I feel that is the wisest choice.

  50. Koji Oe says:

    I liked the first two seasons of Nanoha. Though, I do remember the first season being very slow back in 2004, but then I remember being urged on by the fellow GameFaqs posters on the other anime board to just continue watching, and I’m glad I did and the rest is history. I can’t say I enjoyed the second season AS much, but I take that with a grain of salt because I couldn’t fully enjoy it because I seemed to watch it at the worst of times for me, and I should probably rewatch it to dismiss or affirm my feelings for it.

    Season three I’m not too hyped for. I’m keeping a wait and see position.

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