Gundam 00

I watched this episode last night in a semi-comatose state so I can’t remember anything about it now. Luckily, I had the foresight to save the screencaps first, so now I can simply extrapolate the episode’s plot based on 26 still images and fill in the gap with my extraordinary mastery of Gundam storytelling. It’s like reading a manga without speech bubbles.

Summary

Gundam 00
“No, I expect you to die”

Allelujah may or may not have been anal probed during his stay at Guantanamo. It’s not torture; it’s just the tactical application of enhanced interrogation techniques.

Gundam 00
“It’s all Setsuna’s fault that I’m still a virgin”

Saji learns the truth about Gundam Throne, but continues to blame Celestial Being for everything that went wrong in his life. This is a common self-delusional mental state that has evolved to prevent suicides, but has the nasty side effect of encouraging revenge killing.

Gundam 00
If only she weren’t evil

Liumei, who is now 100% villain, provides information about Allelujah’s whereabouts to Celestial Being so as to lure them into a trap, just for the lulz. Liumei neither forgives nor forgets. Fortunately, the trap sucks.

Gundam 00

Celestial Being launches a rescue mission that involves the annihilation of a few thousand marine creatures. We all know that dolphins are fearsome underwater Allied anti-ship units and Sumeragi cannot afford to take any chances.

Gundam 00
Too cool for tools

Setsuna shoots Allelujah with his handgun because he is too lazy to undo the locks by hand. It’s not clear how he manages to fire four rounds in different directions without moving his hand. Or perhaps it takes him four shots to the exact same spot to break the chain. Either way, I would rather rot in prison than have Setsuna rescue me.

Gundam 00
“Freeze! NYPD!”

After almost blowing Allelujah’s feet off, Setsuna abandons him to look for Marina. Allelujah bumps into Soma, whom he addresses as “Marie Perversity” or however you spell it. Apparently the two of them used to share the same test tube at the research facility or something. Soma doesn’t remember him but gets a headache when he asks for sex, like all women do.

Gundam 00
Atmospheric diffraction of sunlight

I’m not sure if this has something to do with Lockon’s Irish heritage, but there’s a frigging huge rainbow at the end and everyone lives happily ever after until the next episode. Awesome.

Thoughts

I have nothing insightful to contribute with respect to this episode and whatever plot development it supposedly contains. But I do have one observation to make…

Gundam 00
Soma and her bodyguards

Gundam 00
The guy on the left dies

The brown guy dies first! I’m pretty sure this is some variant of the Hollywood black-guy-dies formula. Quick, someone inform Debito Arudou!

Screencaps

Gundam 00
I took this screencap from Death Note

Gundam 00
Shakugan no Ribbons

Gundam 00
Hannibal rising

Gundam 00
“Waterboard him, boys”

Gundam 00
Short hair is nice too

Gundam 00
The new Power Rangers

Gundam 00
“Please fight evil with us, Purple Ranger Sumeragi”

Gundam 00
To hell with aerodynamics

Gundam 00
This scene is right before the tentacle rape

Gundam 00
Green and Irish? It’s undeniable proof

Gundam 00
“Mountain lions? Oh shit”

Gundam 00
All girls learn to master the art of faking a headache

Gundam 00
Is it just me or has her character totally changed?

Gundam 00
She is worried about what Setsuna is planning to do to her

Gundam 00
This is downright gay, literally

Gundam 00
She’s shocked because he’s eating her nose

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but there’s not enough Louise in this episode.

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