From: Lara Bartram http://www.thekeep.org/~lara/index.html {Shin Seiki Evangelion/Neon Genesis Evangelion belongs to Gainax, Hideaki Anno and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto. The use of their material in this work is not intended for profit, and shall not be used in that way.} Two Salarymen Clean Up by Lara Bartram ---------------------- "I'm sorry, but you can't stay here." "Just because you've got that woman willing to do you whenever you've got a moment free? That's no reason to break our friendship!" "Gendo, you would do the same. You wouldn't even have let me through the door!" Gendo sat down and sighed. "Yeah, you're right. But I guess it doesn't really matter now, does it? Is there some reason my life had to collapse today?" "Hey, it's not over," Kozo said defiantly. "Yui didn't dump you; she just didn't want to live together. That is not a collapse. Now, your apartment becoming a nuclear dump site and losing all your clothes, and having some twisted piece of metal stuck in your hand, that sucks, but it's still not the end." Kozo went into the kitchen and began heating up some water for instant beefbowls. "Yui's into you, you moron. Why are you throwing it away just because she wants to marry you?" "Marry me? She wants to..." "Of course! When she said she wouldn't live with you unless you two got married, what the hell did you think she meant? Can't you read between the lines? Pick up the signals? Get your head out of your ass and ask her already?" Gendo was starting to panic. "But I can't marry her! It'd be... marriage! Do you know what that means?" "Yes, it means you get to be Yui's, mind, body, and soul! And while I realize you don't care much about her mind or soul, you get her body! That should be enough for you and your hormones." There were the sounds of cupboards and drawers being opened and closed. "I don't get you, Gendo. You were ready to do almost anything to get her into bed, and you want to live with her, but you don't want to marry her? You're a fool." Kozo emerged from the kitchen with two beefbowls and handed one to Gendo. "I think you should call her." "I can't. Not after what happened. I just don't... It hurts." Gendo frowned and stared into his steaming beefbowl. "It hurt when she said she didn't want to. A lot." Kozo slurped up some noodles and shrugged. "The nature of the game, my friend. Just call her. She doesn't hate you; she's hurt just like you are." "You think?" "I know." "Well, okay, but I'm very fragile emotionally right now. This could shatter my trust if it goes badly." "You have to be sincere to be emotionally fragile." *** "Kaworu, what would be your reaction if I said I was getting married?" "I'd say it's about time. Did he ask you?" "No." "Did you ask him?" "No." Kaworu blinked and looked up from his magazine. "Then who are you going to marry?" "I don't knoooow!" Yui burst into tears once again. Kaworu patted her back. "Don't cry. This isn't anything to cry over." "Yes it is! You have more boyfriends than I do!" "That's because I have impeccable fashion sense, and Mom is swimming in money. And of course, I'm as adorable as they come." That simply made Yui cry harder, so with a resigned sigh, Kaworu fetched the phone. He dialed the number he had heard his aunt mumble in her sleep and held the phone up to her ear. "There, I've dialed for you. Simple." Yui listened a bit unwillingly, but listened all the same. She frowned when she heard the automated message inform her the phone was no longer in service. "It's not in service," she said faintly. Holding the phone up to his own ear, Kaworu frowned as well. "That's strange..." *** "Gendo, for once I am going to be your friend and help you out with Yui." "Wow, you must have it bad for Katsuragi if you're going to do that." "Shut up. Call her, tell her you're sorry for walking away, and tell her you want to marry her," Kozo said and handed Gendo his phone's handset. "And then you can get out of here, and we'll all feel better." With a sigh, Gendo took the phone. "I don't know if I want to. I never considered it before, not even to Naoko." "That's because she was a big freaky slut. It was probably your survival instincts stopping you." That seemed to help, as Gendo began to dial Yui's number slowly. "I'm not sure I want to do this..." "You do, Gendo. Your mind is so simplistic, I can tell you that you want to. You're just not aware of it yet." "Wow, you really are my friend. Thanks," Gendo replied sarcastically as he finished dialing. *** "I'm swearing off the phone. I'm not going to use it ever again." Kaworu smirked. "Of course not. And if it were to ring right this instant, and there was a chance it was him, you would just let it ring. You'd let ring even though he might be begging for your forgiveness, and want to--" "That's enough, Kaworu. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of this phone, of my job, of this apartment... I just want to--" The phone rang, and somehow it managed to sound ominous. Yui stared at it, and Kaworu smirked at her. "So you're really not going to--" "Sh!" She didn't look at him as she held her hand up; her eyes were firmly on the phone. It rang again. "Don't tell me you're not going to--" "Hush!" "Why don't you--" "Quiet!" The phone ra-- "Hello?" Kaworu blinked. If it ever came down to a match between his aunt and a snake, he'd be sure to put his money on his aunt. *** "Okay, that's great to hear. I'll be over in a little bit." Gendo hung up the phone gently, his face a blank mask. "So what'd she say?" Kozo asked anxiously. "You won't have to stay here, right?" "No. She said yes." "Hey! That's great!" Kozo stood up, pulling Gendo up as well and shaking his hand vigorously. "You'll have to tell me when the big day is," he continued as he made his way to the door, pulling Gendo along. "I'll gladly be your best man." Kozo opened the door. "So... congratulations!" He shoved Gendo out then shut and locked the door. *** Kaworu grinned. "If you want me to go to a hotel, I can." "No. You can stay here. We're not going to have a honeymoon tonight or anything. We're just going to talk," Yui said, and almost believed herself. "We... have to make plans." Kaworu was still grinning. "I have to call Mom. She'll just _die_." "Oh, no!" Yui cried, and held the phone away from her nephew. "Not now. I don't want to bother her while she's got this whole thing going on. And I don't want her to think you're a burden, because you're not. I won't let you stay in a hotel even if..." She blushed and tried not to smile. "You're adorable when you're trying to be virginal. No wonder he's in love with you. You know, I'll have to visit you more." "I don't think he likes it when you hang on him like that," Yui replied, shaking her head and looking faintly disapproving. Kaworu just grinned back. They waited for a half hour, Kaworu reading a magazine and Yui pacing nervously. If she thought it had been bad before, waiting, it was nothing compared to now. She needed to know that this wasn't some mistake, that she hadn't misheard, that she had actually gotten engaged. There was a gentle knock on the door and Yui hurried to answer it while Kaworu just read his magazine. They were just like a couple of kids. "Kaworu? Could you...?" The young man absently grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, then increased the volume. "I know, I know." "What's with these clothes? And your hand!" Yui said, holding Gendo's hand as they made their way to the bedroom. "It's a long story. Do you have a microwave?" *** The next morning, Yui and Gendo emerged from the bedroom. Kaworu tactfully kept his eyes on the paper as he sipped his coffee. "Good morning," he said liltingly. "Good morning," Yui replied. "Gendo will be staying here today. There was an accident and he doesn't have a suit to wear to work. I'm leaving him in your care." Gendo winced. "Oh, _really_?" Kaworu said and turned around to look at the two. "And you have no clothes?" Gendo shook his head reluctantly. "This will be fun! We can go shopping!" Yui smiled at the two. "No getting into trouble, you two. I need to get to work." She kissed Gendo almost chastely, but not quite, patted Kaworu on the shoulder, then left the apartment. Kaworu bounced instantly to his feet. "If you have no clothes, then we'll just have to take you shopping." With a look of horror spreading across his face, Gendo stepped back, only to find the the wall blocking his way. "No. No, I don't need any." "Yes, you do." Kaworu stalked forward, smiling and showing his perfect white teeth. "Don't worry. It won't hurt... too much." "I have no money!" That would stop the boy. "Consider it a wedding present." Shit. *** "I just buy white..." "White briefs? That's for old men. Try these. And these. And some of these. Oooh, and definitely these." Kaworu held up a pair of what appeared to be black leather bikini briefs and nodded. "Oh yes." "No!" "You're no fun. This should be enough for now anyway. Let's continue!" Gendo followed behind the gleeful youth, wishing he could just crawl away, but... he really did need new clothes, and if the kid was going to buy them for him, he couldn't say no. Really. That's what he told himself over and over. "Go try this on! This one too. The collar's too wide and you're too old. This one might not be too bad. Oh, silk. I have one just like it in blue, but I don't think white's your color; maybe this purple..." "Not purple! Look, Kaworu, I'd just like some regular clothes. I don't need to look good to go out to a club or anything. Just some suits, shirts, the basics." He smiled hesitantly and nodded. "Basics." Kaworu just looked at him with his hands on his hips. "That won't do. Not for my aunt." Gendo wilted. "Now, white's not your color, but I bet you'd still look good in it. What size do you wear?" Kaworu's eyes analyzed a squirming Gendo. "Medium." "But I wear a large." "Now you wear mediums. Trust me, it'll look great." Kaworu heaped clothing upon Gendo. Then it was the moment of truth. "Now to try on some pants." "No. I won't do it." Gendo crossed his arms as they stood in front of racks of pants, and close by, the changing rooms. "Turn around so I can size you up," the boy commanded. "I thought you already did that," Gendo said weakly, avoiding looking at the changing rooms. Something bad was bound to happen; he knew it. Kaworu cracked a warm smile. "Well, yeah, but I need to see what size pants you wear, so turn around." He batted his eyelashes. "For me?" "For Yui," Gendo grumbled, then turned in a circle slowly. "Normally I wear--" "It doesn't matter what you normally wear. Now you wear 32-34 full-leg, with a button-fly when you can." "But I--" This time when Kaworu smiled, it wasn't as warm as it was devilish. "Trust me. I won't explain except to say trust me on this. She'll love it." "Well..." Gendo eyed his soon-to-be nephew suspiciously. "Okay." He took the pair of jeans Kaworu offered and headed into the changing rooms. Kaworu waited patiently, not even attempting to peek, until Gendo emerged. "They're a little tight," Gendo said, trying to adjust the pants and find some comfort. Kaworu just grinned widely. "Look in the mirror." Tugging at the pants this way and that, Gendo turned and caught sight of himself in the full-length mirror. "WOW!" He looked down at himself, then back in the mirror. "Wow!" he repeated. "Told ya. She'll love it." After purchasing an amount of clothing Gendo had never seen before in his life and for a cost that he didn't want to know lest he fall over dead from shock, the two headed to top off the trip with some new suits. "Isn't this fun?" Kaworu asked as he walked next to Gendo, carrying a shopping bag. "For you, I'm sure it is." Gendo w as laden with all the other purchases they had made and was struggling to not drop everything. "Oh, you like it too. Don't deny it." "I'm doing this for Yui," Gendo said and grit his teeth. "You're doing this because I have fashion sense second to no one, and I'm paying for it all." "Well, yeah, there's that too." *** "I'm very pleased to hear that you've taken an interest in our project. I'll fax the paperwork, Miss Horaki. Tomorrow is perfect for you to come in and look things over." Director Lorenz nodded. "Thank you, and extend my thanks to Mr. Suzuhara as well." Lorenz hung up the phone and leaned back in his chair. To have a visionary like Suzuhara agree to direct their next series was a tremendous windfall. With such a weighty name on it, 'Project E' was sure to become a success, both critical and publicly. And that meant more money for the studio and in his pocket. It was so very good to be at the top. *** Gendo stood with his arms out as the tailor took his measurements. Kaworu stood to the side and watched with a bemused smile on his face. "Take half an inch off those sleeves," the boy instructed as Gendo grimaced. The tailor raised an eyebrow and looked at Kaworu. He then looked questioningly at Gendo, who nodded reluctantly. "I suppose you would know better than I would," the tailor commented idly, and moved on. Kaworu hid a grin as he walked over and put his arm around Gendo. "I certainly would." "No, you wouldn't!" Gendo yelled and pulled away from Kaworu. "You're half my age!" Gendo paused for half a breath, and then something occurred to him. "And I'm not gay!" "Sir, please. I just want to do my job. Could you stand here and spread your legs." The stress was too much for Gendo, who collapsed right into Kaworu's arms. Kaworu just shook his head and looked apologetically at the tailor. "He's always like this. Give him a few minutes." *** "So they hired some hotshot director for 'Project E' and he's going to be here tomorrow," Kozo said at lunch. "Really?" Yui asked. "I hope Gendo got himself some new clothes. Kaworu was going to help him out." Kozo stifled a laugh, and then another before he couldn't hold it back any longer. "Your nephew? Helping Gendo buy clothes? Oh, I can't _wait_ to see this!" "Why?" Yui asked simply. "Er... no reason." "Well, Kaworu has very good taste in clothes. I know he'll do a good job." *** "I'll measure the inseam." "No, you won't!" Kaworu stuck his tongue out. "You're no fun." "That's the point." Gendo took a deep breath and stood rock still as the tailor measured the inseam, but he could see the interest in Kaworu's eyes. "Stop looking at me like that." "But you're going to be my uncle. I'm just looking out for you, and my aunt." "I'm sure you are." He relaxed when the tailor finished. "We can make the adjustments in about two hours." "Good. That'll give us time for lunch," Kaworu said happily and grabbed Gendo's arm. "I don't think--" "Don't worry; I'm paying." Gendo sighed heavily as they left the shop. At least nothing had gone terribly wrong yet, but the day was still young. At lunch, they sat and ate mostly in silence, though it was obvious there was something they were both holding back. "Kaworu?" Gendo asked, breaking the silence first. "Do you think it'll work between Yui and me?" "Of course! As long as you don't do anything stupid." "I'm in trouble." *** "He's going to meet the peons, and then proceed to butcher every ounce of effort Gendo and I put into this. I know it." "He can't be that bad," Yui said as they made their way out of the cafeteria. "The studio is interested in what you came up with; if that gets changed, it's not the same idea they had confidence in, is it?" Kozo sighed. "You give us too much credit. A couple of no-name creators aren't worth nearly as much as a big name director. The studio wouldn't even blink if he just rewrote everything and turned it into Project Mission Submarine Ranma Crisis." He sighed again. "I need to talk to Misato." *** Kaworu sat down on the bench next to Gendo, and proceeded to lick his ice cream cone. Once again, they sat in silence and watched the world move around them. "We must look strange," Gendo commented. "Why? People will just think you're my father and we're doing that whole bonding thing." "I don't bond. And I don't think even a blind person would think we were related." Kaworu shrugged. "Who cares what they think anyway? It's none of their business that we're just waiting for adjustments to get made to your new suits." "I suppose." "Hey, can I try some of your ice cream?" Gendo looked at Kaworu and very slowly held out his hand. "I suppose." He had expected Kaworu to take it from him, but instead, the young man leaned forward and ran his tongue all around the cone, then pulled back. "You... have some on your lip," Gendo said shakily, taking his cone back. "Oh, do I?" Kaworu smiled and licked his lips. "That was good." With a grimace, Gendo looked away. "That's... nice." Kaworu smiled warmly at him. "That's why I like you. You play along so well." "Please, don't say that. I'm barely coping as it is." With a wide smile, Kaworu continued to eat his ice cream. After the ice cream debacle, as Gendo would call it from that day on, they returned to the shop to pick up the two suits. "I'm not sure about this," Gendo whispered. "Why? Don't you like them?" "They're nice, but... they're different styles. People will know if I've been wearing the same suit for three days in a row." Kaworu sighed. "That's why you wear different shirts and ties. Especially brightly colored ties to draw attention away from the suit itself." Gendo's brow creased as he worked through the logic. "I... guess." "Besides, when you're shacking up with my aunt, you should be able to save enough money to buy more. Right?" Kaworu put his arm around Gendo's shoulders in a manner that anyone else might assume was simply friendly. However, Gendo knew better, and squirmed at the contact. "Yeah." He squirmed more, appearing to be working on some sort of breakdance maneuver until Kaworu had pity on him and removed the arm. They were greeted as they entered, and the man at the front recognized them from before. "Excellent timing, gentlemen. Everything's ready for you." He clasped his hands in an obsequious and simultaneous expectant manner. "And how will you be paying?" "Charge." Kaworu turned to Gendo. "You probably want to cover your ears." "Why?" "Your total comes to one m--" Gendo turned around, squeezed his eyes shut, put his hands over his ears and began to hum to himself. *** They returned to Yui's apartment, where Gendo flopped on the couch. "Shopping is exhausting. Why does buying stuff take so much energy?" "Because you have no stamina. It's an art, a skill. It's like playing a sport," Kaworu answered, carrying packages into the bedroom so the contents could be hung up. "And I can tell you were never involved in any sort of sports." "Some of us have to work to get by; we don't all have rich mothers to support us while we play sports and go out dancing, and have fun whenever we feel like it," Gendo retorted. "You're bitter, aren't you?" Gendo hung his head. "Yes." Kaworu crossed to the couch and hugged him. "It's okay. You're right; not everyone can be as lucky as I can." "Thanks... Hey!" Gendo pushed Kaworu's arms away. "Stop that!" With a shrug and a smile, Kaworu just giggled. "Can you dance?" he asked abruptly. "Dance?" "Okay, you don't even know what the word means. We must rectify this." "What do you mean?" Gendo asked, staring at the boy as if he had grown a second head which had eight eyes and very sharp fangs dripping poison that were about to sink into his skin. "It means we're going out, and you can't go out dressed like _that_. You've got a closet full of new clothes! Use them!" "Out where?" Kaworu sighed. "Just accept it. We'll go out, have some drinks, have some fun..." He rolled his red eyes. "Not that kind of fun. I know you're straight; you don't have to worry about it." Gendo's stomach dropped. "What... do you mean?" "I know this great place. You'll have fun. There's music and dancing and drinking... Everyone's dressed to the nines. It's great!" Kaworu crossed around to the front of the couch and took Gendo's hand. He pulled the man to his feet. "I'll help you dress." "I can dress myself!" "So that means you'll go!" "D'oh!" Defeated, Gendo hung his head. "I'll go. Against my better judgment." "Oh goody!" "But I can change by myself!" Gendo added quickly. "You really aren't any fun. I guess I'll just change by myself." A bit later, Gendo emerged from the bedroom dressed rather... "If you go dressed like that, they'll think you're an accountant." Kaworu shook his head and tsked. "This just won't do. If you wear the white we won't match. Wear the orange." "I don't want to match!" Gendo snapped, covering himself as if he were wearing no clothing at all. "I want to be boring. I want to wear white." Kaworu would have none of it though. "Wear orange. We'll complement one another that way. I call it my complementation project. I won't rest until you stop being so... ordinary." "I don't want to complement you!" "Wear the orange. You're already in my debt." With a heavy sigh, Gendo went back into the bedroom to change his shirt. *** It was almost time to leave and Yui was on the phone. Unfortunately, there was no answer from the other end. She hung up and frowned. "No one's home. I was going to pick something up on the way home, but if they're not there, forget it!" "Talking to yourself again, Yui?" "Yeah." *** "So what'd you call this place?" Gendo asked as he and Kaworu rode the train to their destination. "Zinc. It's a great place. If you don't have fun there, then you'll never have fun." "I doubt that," Gendo said quietly, but nothing more. He waited patiently as Kaworu clung to him like a child as the train made its way to Shinjuku. He wanted to know as few details about where they were going as possible out of simple denial and fear. He trusted Kaworu more than he admitted, but this was like a date, and the boy was treating it as such. That just didn't sit right with him. Kaworu kept quiet, but he was very excited. They weren't really on a date or anything, but everyone at the club would think so, especially with their outfits that worked so well together. He had to hold himself back from running his hand along Gendo's jaw. That wouldn't go over well at all. *** "Well, no one's answering, so yeah. I wouldn't mind going out for a bit." The small group swarmed around her, bursting into gossip. They swept Yui out of the studio and down the street to their preferred gathering spot. *** Gendo watched nervously the way the burly man at the door eyed everyone. There were no favorites here; you waited in line, paid your money, then went inside, but that didn't prevent Gendo from feeling like he was being sized up. He also refused to see that the line they were standing in consisted almost totally of pairs and small groups of the same sex. The time he had waited, he had seen only one mixed couple get into line. This did not bode well. "Kaworu," he started to whisper. "You two! You're up!" the doorman barked and waved them forward. Kaworu grabbed Gendo's wrist and dragged him forward. Without even needing to be told or asking how much, he paid the cover for the both of them and hurried inside. Immediately Gendo was assaulted by the loud music and flashing lights of the immense club. The crowd was still relatively small, but if the line was any indication, it would grow very crowded, very quickly. And again, that sinking feeling when all he saw were same-sex couples. A pair of flashily-dressed young men at the bar, another pair of men sitting too close to one another to simply be friends, and a pair of women dancing _way_ too close to be out simply after a hard day's work. "Um..." he said weakly. "How about something to drink?" Kaworu said loudly, heading for the bar while holding tightly to Gendo's wrist. "They serve you alcohol?" "I don't drink," the boy responded as they made their way through the sparse crowd. "Alcohol's a depressant and lowers sex drive and performance." "Uh..." "And the smell is murder to get out of silk." Kaworu turned around and lightly poked Gendo in the chest. "So don't spill any on yourself." Gendo gave him a strained smile. "I'll try not to." At the bar, Kaworu ordered water with lemon, while Gendo ordered the heartiest beer they had, feeling he would need it later on. When the bartender set a 36 ounce mug in front of him, he was a tad stunned. With a smile, Kaworu held up his glass of water. "A toast. To a new wardrobe! And you getting engaged, of course." Gendo stared at the huge mug in front of him and lifted it. To ignore the guy who had just taken the seat next to him, to ignore his frosted hair, multiple-pierced ears, the extra tight shirt that was almost see-through and the bared navel, Gendo started to drink his beer. It was because of this that he missed the glitter of interest in Kaworu's eyes. Silently, Kaworu gestured for another one. Yes, this was going to be very interesting. "And who do I spy with my little eye..." Gendo choked on his beer and almost dropped the mug. When he turned around, he saw the last thing he needed to. "What are you doing here?" he asked, totally surprised and a little horrified. "I could ask you the same." Ritsuko raised one eyebrow as she looked at the young men seated to either side of Gendo. "I knew there was something weird about him," Maya said with a frown. "It's not what it looks like!" Kaworu suddenly turned and grabbed Gendo's arm. "I thought you said you were a one boy man!" "Oh, it's exactly what I think it is," Ritsuko said darkly. "So much for that. I knew there was some reason you weren't interested." With that, she and Maya walked away. Gendo grabbed his beer from the bar and downed it, then immediately began on the second. "I guess we've taken care of that little problem," Kaworu commented as he watched the two women blend into the increasing crowd. "She won't be bothering you anymore." Gendo just continued to drink his beer, and Kaworu ordered another one for him. "I want to dance," Kaworu noted, starting to snap his fingers and dance in his seat. "Dance with me." Gendo set down his beer and looked into Kaworu's eyes with a gaze that was definitely not in total focus. "Huh?" "I said dance with me!" "No. I don't dance." He turned back to his beer before he saw a young man turn away disappointed. "That won't do. Have another beer; that'll loosen you up some. I'm going to get you to dance, if only for my aunt." Not that he wouldn't enjoy it too. When Gendo started on the third beer and looked decidedly unsteady in his seat, Kaworu decided to see about a plan. "I need to use the bathroom; I'll be right back," he said, touching Gendo on the shoulder. Gendo merely grunted as Kaworu walked away. Instead of heading to the men's room, Kaworu headed for a group of young men, older than himself, standing around a pulsating light machine. "Hey, Nori. Can you guys do me a favor?" "Hey, Kaworu. What's up?" The light played wonderfully off Nori's short cut hair and his shimmering white satin shirt. "You look fabulous. Where'd you get that shirt?" Kaworu just _had_ to ask. "My mom brought it back when she went to Europe. You like?" "It's wonderful; you look great in it." Kaworu paused to admire the luminescent beauty of the material for a moment, then shook his head. "Anyway, you see that guy over at the bar?" He pointed at Gendo as the entire group looked. "Your outfits really complement one another!" one of the group said. "I know, don't they? Anyway, I want you to--" "Is he your date?" "Sort of, but... he's uptight about the whole situation, so I was wondering if--" "First time out in public? It's tough for the older ones." Kaworu snapped his fingers to get the group's attention. "Hello? I want you guys to act like you're after me so I can get him out dancing. Can you handle that?" "No problem. We can be just like real yakuza," Nori assured him. "We'll wait until you're over there, then make a little stir." "Sounds excellent. Thanks." Kaworu waved then headed back over to the bar. The crowd was very heavy now, as more people arrived from getting off work. He pushed past some people, one of whom turned and glared. "Sorry, guess you weren't enough of a man for him," Kaworu teased Ritsuko, then continued on. He sat down next to Gendo at the bar and noticed there was a third empty mug and a fourth full one. "You're drinking an awful lot." "It's the only way I can stay sane in this place." Kaworu giggled touched Gendo's arm in a way that two people very familiar with one another would. Certainly not in a way that Gendo would ever appreciate. "Come on. Let's dance." "I'm not dancing with you!" "Oh, you don't mean it. You just don't have the dancing spirit in you yet. Come on." He took Gendo's arm and tried to pull him up, but there was no budging him. With a quick glance, Kaworu spotted Nori making his move with much ruckus and noise. "Quick!" Kaworu ducked to Gendo's side and spun around his stool so he could see Nori and his group making their way through the crowd. "Those guys are after me!" "I'm too drunk to beat anyone up." "I don't think you could if you were sober, but that's not what I mean! We have to blend in!" He put his hands on Gendo's sides and pushed him off the bar stool. "Come on. We can lose them in the crowd." "But my beer..." "This is my life! And my silk shirt! And my face! That's more important than your beer!" Still hiding behind Gendo, Kaworu moved them both toward the crowd on the dance floor. "But I don't want to--" Then it was too late as they were swallowed up by the wildly dancing, bouncing in unison, pack on the multi-colored dance floor, lit up by a dozen different spotlights in all colors of the rainbows and infrequent bursts from a strobe light. It all worked to make Gendo in his drunken state very confused and give him a headache. "I can't," he started to say, tripping over other people's feet and barely able to keep standing. "Here, lean on me; I'll keep you up. They'll give up soon enough in this crowd," Kaworu said excitedly, then quickly acted concerned about the entire situation. "They'll probably beat me within an inch of my life, and I wouldn't want to put my aunt through that." Gendo leaned against Kaworu without protest, just against his side, but the boy turned so Gendo was draped over him like a drunken lover. "Dance with me or they'll notice us." All it took was for him to start moving for Gendo to match his movements since the man was a limp dishrag in his arms. "See? It's not so bad; no one's going to molest you or anything," Kaworu said gently. Gendo suddenly jerked upright. "Hey, who touched my ass?" "Sorry, I was just trying to keep you steady." "Oh." And Gendo slumped again. Kaworu turned and looked for Nori, spotting him briefly and giving a thumbs up. *** "I should probably go." Yui started to rise from her seat. "No! You can't! You haven't heard about the woman in accounting yet! You can't go until you hear that." Yui sat slowly back down. "Accounting? Who?" *** Kaworu smiled as Gendo leaned against him. They were making slow progress back to the apartment; it had been a successful evening in his crimson eyes. It was true that his aunt's fiance wasn't much of a dancer, but it had been fun anyway. "I'm sorry, Yui," Gendo mumbled again for about the hundredth time. "I'm sure she forgives you." And for the fiftieth time, Kaworu had to fight off Gendo's advances. "You are a horny beast; and you said you weren't interested in men. Shame on me for believing it." "Yui..." "I hope she's ready when we get back, though you'll probably just fall asleep with your clothes half-off. So irresponsible." Kaworu looked up at the apartment building. "And thank goodness we're here." *** Yui sighed as she rode the elevator up to her floor. The people she worked with at the studio... Amazing. How they ever got hired, let alone kept their jobs was a complete mystery. She emerged from the car and walked down the hall with her keys in hand. Gendo would be so anxious to hear the news about the director; she couldn't wait to tell him. At her apartment, she unlocked the door and entered quietly. Kaworu turned and put a finger over his lips. "He's all tuckered out," he whispered. Yui smiled at the sight of Kaworu sitting on the couch with Gendo sprawled across him, sleeping peacefully. He was shirtless and his pants were undone, revealing the new and certainly not ordinary pair of underwear he had on. "Are these all new?" she asked, gesturing to the clothes he was wearing. Kaworu nodded and gave her the A-OK signal. "Help me get him to bed," Yui whispered. "Do you need any help--" "I can undress him myself." *** Consciousness forced itself upon Gendo. As little as he wanted to wake up, he did in fractions. Finally he reached a point where he realized there was a body next to him, which he rolled over and grabbed. "Good morning." "Good morning to you. Did you have fun yesterday?" Yui asked, running her hand over the rough stubble on his cheek. "Remind me never to let your nephew take me anywhere again." "Kaworu told me all about it. It sounded like a fun date." "It was _not_ a date. I don't know what it was, but it wasn't a date. Please don't say that." With a sigh, Gendo started to get out of the bed, then realized his state of undress. "How did I get like this?" he asked sharply, looking back at Yui. "I undressed you. What is wrong with you this morning?" "I have a terrible headache and I just know I did something stupid last night. I don't completely trust your nephew. I can just feel him sizing me up every time I'm not looking at him." Gendo shuddered. Yui tsked. "He bought you those clothes. He doesn't mean any harm." "Yeah, but this isn't the best time in my life to be insinuating that I'm gay, taking me out dancing, buying me weird clothes that I can't refuse because I have no place to live, no clothes of my own and no money..." "It would be bad to tell you that they hired that director for your show and he's stopping by today to see you and Kozo, wouldn't it?" "Fuck." *** In the lobby of the studio, Yui straightened Gendo's tie. "You look great. You'll make a great impression." She kissed him without fear now that they were engaged. "You look so sexy," she whispered after they separated. "Don't forget about me when all the other women are hitting on you." Gendo gave her a satisfied half-grin. "I'll see you at lunch." They went their separate ways, and for once, Gendo felt scarily optimistic about the day. He whistled as he approached the cubicle, hearing the whispering that sprung up in his wake. "Good morning, friend," he said cheerily as he sat down in his chair. Kozo stared. "Who are you, and where is the real Rokubungi?" "Yui's nephew bought me all these new clothes, including this expensive suit. I think this cost more than Kaji's." "Whoa. So, what? Is that kid like your sugar daddy now?" "I'm not gay! I'm not! I like women! I'm engaged to one! Stop insinuating that I'm gay!" Gendo shouted, his good mood suddenly floating away like a balloon in a breeze. "God, it was just a joke. What is up with you? I thought Yui was going to calm you down, and you're worse than ever." Gendo ran a shaky hand across his forehead. "It's her nephew. I swear, he's turning me gay or something. It's the scariest thing in my life." "STAND!" Both Kozo and Gendo turned to stare at the person who had just barked at them. "I said STAND!" she repeated. Slowly, both men got to their feet. "BOW!" They exchanged brief glances, then gave a short bow. "SIT!" "What in the hell is all this about?" Kozo asked as he sat back in his chair. "I am Horaki Hikari, Mr. Suzuhara's personal assistant," the woman replied harshly. She marked something down on a clipboard, then stepped aside. In her place appeared a man with a rugged face and short-cropped hair. His eyes were dark and penetrating, but other than that... "You two. You're nothing more than common-place nobodies," he said with a sneer. "This is unacceptable. Fire these men." Hikari wrote something down on her clipboard. "Fire common-folk. Yes, sir." "Mysterious Battle Seed Wing," Kozo whispered. "We created this show! You can't fire us!" The man stood up straight, seeming to tower above the two. "Do you know who I am? I can most certainly fire you! My creative genius is worth far more that your pitiful little ideas. So says Suzuhara Toji!" Kozo had to hold Gendo back, which really was no effort at all, but it looked good. "Our ideas make money for the studio!" "And my art will make the studio rich beyond compare! Be glad you're basking in my artistic aura right now. Some of it might rub off on you." With that, he turned and strode away, the Horaki woman trailing as well as a young man in glasses. *** "I'd like to rip off his arms and legs and shove them down his throat!" Gendo crumpled the paper cup in his hand. "Oh, watch your suit!" Yui immediately began to pat some water from his suit with a napkin. "Was he really that bad?" "Yes," Kozo and Gendo said in unison. "Oh, well... give him hell then!" "That's what I love about you. Well, one of the many things." Gendo and Yui kissed while Kozo rolled his eyes. *** "Do you think this is wise?" "No, but I'm gonna give Lorenz a piece of my mind about this guy. I can't work with him." "Gendo, I don't think we're supposed to work _with_ him. I think he's just supposed to take all our hard work and take the credit for it." "That's bullshit! If it means I have to quit or get fired, then I guess that's that. I'm not going to put up with this." "Noble words, Gendo, but I'm betting you'll wimp out as you always do." "Watch me." When the elevator reached the top floor, Gendo marched out with Kozo following. The desk of Lorenz's PA was empty and a little sign announced she would be right back with smiley faces and suns. "I bet she's one of those women who 'tinkles' and never uses the bathroom," Gendo said quietly. The door to Lorenz's office also happened to be partially open. Through these two bits of convenience, Gendo and Kozo could listen in on what was happening. "Your staff won't do. Those two... men were a disgrace to animation. I find it hard to believe it's their effort I'm going to be dealing with." "Well..." Lorenz began. "I just don't believe their little ideas will coincide with my vision. I simply must have full creative control over this project, or it just won't work." The one with spectacles handed a slip of paper across the desk. "This is a preliminary figure. I'm sure it'll get much higher as things go along. It always does." Lorenz looked at the paper and frowned. This would be quite a cut from his normal amount. But if it brought in as much money as he thought... "We'll see what we can do with this." *** "Son of a bitch! He's going to fire us!" "I knew this was a bad situation," Gendo said quietly, scowling. "We're gonna get screwed over on this. I'm not going down this way." *** "STAND!" "God, I hate this woman," Kozo grumbled as he and Gendo stood. "BOW! SIT!" Toji entered the cubicle with a look of extreme distaste on his face. "You are to turn over all work you have on this project to me. You two are relieved of all duties relating to this." "We haven't even finished it yet! We can't be relieved!" Kozo yelled. "Don't think it'll be that easy. You won't just steal our work and get all the fame for it!" Toji just chuckled. "No. I'll take this amateur work you've done and improve it as I see fit." He picked up what Kozo had been working on and looked it over. "Wasteful. This vice-commander character talks too much for having such an insignificant role." "Hey! That's _my_ character you're talking about!" Kozo whined. "Whatever. There's too much dialogue, not enough _art_!" "Art my ass," Gendo mumbled, scowling at what he had in front of him. "You! You disagree with my art?" Toji snapped, and scooped up his work as well. "And what's this?" His eyes scanned the pages. "This... shows hope. So you're not a complete cretin after all. Still, it will need my superior intellect to make it truly great." "Go fuck yourself." "What was that?" "I think you heard me." Toji and Gendo glared at one another, then with a snort of derision, Toji turned and walked away. "I'm going to get him, Kozo. For real this time." An hour later, Director Lorenz made his way down to the cubicle. "Gentlemen, I have some business we need to discuss." He didn't wait for their reply to continue. "Regarding your efforts... You'll presented with a most generous bonus, and then all creative direction will be turned over to Mr. Suzuhara." Gendo and Kozo stared dumbfounded. "So, gentlemen, that's that." And Lorenz waddled off again. "Creative direction?" "A bonus?" Gendo and Kozo high-fived each other. "Still," Gendo said, "that's not just going to end it." *** Kozo rode up in the elevator alone. He didn't like the way Gendo was talking; it would probably lead to very bad things in the future. Even if he had his moments of fuckwad-ity, Gendo was still not a totally bad guy. It was Kozo's job to save him from himself. A simple conversation with the director, convince him that they needed a vacation, get Gendo out of the office and let him calm down... And a vacation was certainly something to look forward to. Misato had that nice, cozy apartment that he wouldn't mind hiding out in for a week or so. Once he arrived at the proper floor and disembarked the elevator, he found the secretary's desk empty again. Powdering her nose? Nah, that wasn't cute enough. Lorenz's door was closed this time, and Kozo paused in front of it to compose himself. The man wasn't unreasonable; he would be able to see how beneficial a vacation would be. Really, there was no reason to hate the studio's director... except for his children. Before Kozo had a chance to knock though, the door opened, sending Kozo back a very surprised two steps. "Mr. Lorenz, you simply don't understand what it takes to produce the kind of art I make. If my requirements aren't fulfilled, I simply won't be able to do an adequate job; I'll have to back out." "Mr. Suzuhara, you ask too much. The studio can't afford to spend that much money on equipment, whether it's state-of-the-art or not." "I suggest you rethink that statement, Mr. Lorenz." The door opened all the way, Kozo standing behind it now, as Suzuhara's entourage exited and made their way to the elevator. "Toji, you know it's not feasible for them to buy equipment like that," Aida said quietly. "You're going to make them spend that much money just so you can throw up a bunch of words so fast no one can read them." "That's _art_, Aida. You get paid to be a technical consultant, not a financial advisor." "You alienate the audience with that. Haven't you ever heard what people say?" Toji glared at Kensuke with righteous indignation. "And why should I listen to what _people_ say? They know nothing about my art! This is why I hate dealing with common people." Kensuke gave a frustrated sigh. "No one understands what you're doing! It _lowers_ sales. And don't even get me started about the foreign markets." "Well, the _foreign_ markets I don't even expect to come close to understanding what I'm doing. My work can't be translated like the label of a package of fiber jellies. It must be interpreted, and the people of Japan are _barely_ capable of doing that." Briefly rubbing his forehead, Kensuke sighed again, this time with resignation. "Fine, but could you at least leave out the line drawings this time?" "Shut up, Aida." The three stepped into the elevator. Kozo was about to step out from his hiding spot when he heard the voice of Lorenz. "Yes, Mr. Allen. We're having another financial problem. I need to realign my arrangements. Yes, my Swiss account. Did you do as we discussed about the tax situation? It's most important; income is at a low." Curious about the odd conversation, Kozo kept quiet and listened. "I don't like doing that. Not paying any at all is lot riskier than giving them a smaller amount. They notice things like that," Lorenz continued. "But if you think that's what it will take... No, I'm not going to take a cut. I live a certain way, and expect things to stay like that." The truth was becoming clear to Kozo. This would take some pondering. He headed for the stairs, noting the still-empty desk. Taking a shit, definitely. *** "Hey, Gendo?" "Yeah?" "You know anything about tax laws?" "Just that I pay them. Why?" Kozo leaned back in his chair and tapped his chin with his pen. "No reason." The next week passed in a blur for Gendo and Yui. Gendo was still trying to cope with Kaworu and his teasing, while Yui was trying to cope with Gendo and his overactive libido. Kozo bided his time, dividing his free hours between Gendo at the bar and Misato at her apartment. He was waiting for the time to put the information he had to good use, and it wouldn't be a moment too soon. That moment was when their bonuses showed up. Gendo fanned himself. "Wow. I've never seen a number this big on a paycheck." "That should cover the wedding easily," Yui noted, looking over his shoulder at the check as well. "D'oh!" Gendo sighed, but couldn't manage to get unhappy about it at all. "So, Kozo, with that, you could move in with Katsuragi guilt-free." Kozo didn't answer. He just tucked the check away and stared at the phone. After a moment of this, he rubbed his cheek absently and chewed his lip. "Hey." Gendo waved his hand in front of Kozo's eyes. "Hello?" "Hm? Yeah. I need to make a call in private. I'll talk to you later." Kozo got up and walked away, looking decidedly disconnected from reality. *** Two weeks later... "Damn toilet clogs," Kiyoshi Tamae grumbled as she emerged from the bathroom, trailing toilet paper behind her unknowingly. When she got back to her desk, she could only stare at the men in uniforms leaving Director Lorenz's office in a steady stream, their arms loaded with boxes. "What's going on?" she finally asked. Downstairs, and every floor in between, the employees of Studio MicroNax watched with disbelief. Moments earlier they had watched their boss, the studio's director, be escorted away in handcuffs by some law officers. Don't interfere, they said. You could be charged as well, they said. Tax evasion, they said. Tax evasion? Kozo grinned as he watched the old bastard be dragged out of the building, practically begging, and be stuffed into a police car. Gendo and Yui stood and watched with amazement next to him. Shut down, they said. No money, they said. Out of jobs, they said, and there was a chorus of cheers. *** This was the end of an era, or something like that, as Gendo and Kozo were in their cubicle and clearing out their stuff. Kozo was clearing out his things, at any rate, while Gendo just sat on his desk with Yui next to him. Gendo looked at the deed to the mansion his grandfather had left to him. "We'd still have to work. This won't let us retire," he explained. "I would have never imagined we'd get a reward that big for reporting tax evasion." Yui smiled. "Thank you for sharing your reward, Kozo. That was very sweet of you. And it's such a big house. Plenty large enough for a family." Gendo closed his eyes and swallowed. "Yeah, it is," he said quietly as his life flashed before his eyes. "Good luck. It's not going to be easy for a lazy SOB like Gendo to find work." "You're always invited, Kozo. You know that," Yui said happily as Gendo glared at his friend. "And bring Misato. She's so nice." "Yeah, _real_ nice," Gendo added, a wide grin slowly appearing on his face. "Oof! Yui..." Yui removed her elbow from Gendo's midsection. "Don't be an ass. And you _still_ owe me a ring. And a proper proposal! If you don't, I'll invite Kaworu over to help decorate." "I give! Ring and proposal, anything you want!" With a sly grin, Yui held on to Gendo's arm. "Well, I see you're properly whipped, so..." Kozo extended his hand. "Gendo, I love you like a brother. We've been to hell, seen Satan's kids, and lived to talk, but I never want to work with you again." Gendo took his hand and shook it firmly. "Not even on those giant robots?" "Ro... bots?" "Remember what I said all that time ago? It seems like... four chapters in my life have gone by since then." "You mean...?" "World domination." "Well... okay." ------------------------------- end ** yaoi omake ** The music was loud, the lights were dim, the crowd was huge out on the dance floor. Kaworu held Gendo tightly as they moved together. "Are they still here?" Gendo asked in a drunken slur. Kaworu made a show of looking over his shoulder, but merely snuggled closer. "I see them," he whispered in Gendo's ear. "Keep dancing." Though the thrumming beat was fast-paced, the throng around them ignored their slow movements as Gendo leaned heavily on Kaworu. "You can't hold your liquor, can you?" Kaworu whispered, his hand caressing the back of Gendo's neck and his breath caressing the man's ear. He dared to let his other hand drop and run over the material of Gendo's pants. He smiled to himself, then said with feigned urgency, "They're coming this way," so only Gendo could hear and held on tighter. It was like an automatic response the way Gendo held him more tightly, clutching him to his chest. "You're only doing this for my aunt, aren't you? For Yui..." Kaworu whispered with a hint of sadness. "Yui," Gendo repeated dazedly. When Kaworu pulled his head back and looked, Gendo's eyes weren't even open; he appeared asleep on his feet. Hesitantly, Kaworu moved his face closer, waiting for Gendo to open his eyes, until their lips were a scandalous distance apart. "Yui," Kaworu repeated and quickly licked his lips. "Yui," Gendo mimicked with longing in his voice. The gentle force of breath on his face from Kaworu and the name of the woman he planned on marrying triggered something in his subconscious. With a small gasp of surprise, Kaworu surrendered to the heat of Gendo's mouth. He found himself in heaven and trying not to reciprocate, but helpless to stop it. "If only I could have more than your tongue in me," Kaworu said with a sigh when the kiss ended. - Lara "You know what the beauty of pancakes is? They're flexible so you can cram a lot into your mouth at once."