From: Izcer4@rocketmail.com (Izcer4) Subject: [EVA][FanFic] Repost: Power Of Pain Alternate Part 2 Okay kiddies, here is a complete reposting of my fic. I have broken up the first two parts into smaller sections, and tried to break up some of the long paragraphs and fix some more of the grammer and spelling mistakes (Word is ot good for dealing with foriegn words or names) As usual Comments are read and applied where possible and flames are sent to the depths of Valhalla for all eternity The orignal Power of Pain was written byu Corey Holmes, and this continuation is done with his knowledge Neon Genesis Evangelion is copyrighted by Gainax and others, and is used without permission. This is a work of fanfictionand should be treated as such Neon Genesis Evangelion: Power of Pain Alternate Part 2 by Izcer4 Riding down the walkways towards the doctor's office, Asuka hardly even noticed when the doors opened and the pressure difference caused the skirt of her school uniform to billow up. Head held low, she was still depressed about the events which had occurred over the past week. Her and Rei were back in school, Shinji was still in an ICU bed in the infirmary and Misato couldn't even console her or get any information from the commander. "Why?" she repeated over and over in her head, "why would he do that for me?" One week Prior: Asuka looked on, helpless. She was too frightened to help him. It might come back! It might return and hurt her again! 'I can't take that again! I can't!' she thought. She curled up into an even tighter ball, hoping that she could simply hide behind her controls and disappear. Maybe then it wouldn't find her. Maybe she'd be safe then. Then she thought she heard something. 'No! Not that again! I don't want to remember! I want to forget! Leave me alone!' That noise came back, louder this time, but she only curled up tighter still. 'I don't want it!' The sound returned, louder still. Now she tried to focus on it. 'Will that sound help me? Will it make me disappear?' Asuka dared to hope. The next time it came, she almost understood it. Once more and she understood. "Asuka." It was her name. Misato was calling her name. "Asuka! Help Shinji!" "I can't," she replied in a hoarse whisper, her will completely broken. "I just can't do it. I can't do anything..." "You wanted it? You've got it!!!" he yelled as he slammed the staggering amount of feeling into the Angel. He was doing to it what it had done to them. "You'll never hurt her again! Never again! Do you hear me?! Never!!" This last part caught Asuka's attention. She looked up, only to see Unit 01 stare into the shaft of light. The light seemed to waver, and then it built up around Unit 01's head. She wiped the tears away with a swipe of her arm. She realized that he was sacrificing himself, or at least his sanity, to save her. She realized that he was doing this himself, he was making himself remember. While she could only cringe, he was facing it. All to save her. Her heart fluttered again, and the feelings of being dirty and raped faded from her mind as all of her concentration went to watching Shinji fight for her. "As long as I live, I'll have the power to stop you! You'll never hurt Asuka ever again!!" he screamed as he drove the images home, right into the Angel. Unit 01 stood up straight and the buildup of light around it's head flashed for a moment, then shot up the Angel's shaft at an incredible speed. The moment it hit the Angel, the being of light exploded in a shower of rainbow light that rained down on the blue green world below. The shaft of light ceased to be. This time for good. Unit 01 slowly turned around, to face the felled Eva. Unit 02 slowly raised it's own head. "Asuka," Shinji asked breathless. The exertion had taken it's toll on him. "Are you all right?" Asuka could only nod back, a new feeling replacing the void left by the others. She couldn't place it, but didn't want to loose it. It felt so nice. "Well that's good," Shinji said, moments before Unit 01 fell to it's knees and collapsed to the ground. "Pilot life signs are dropping!" Makoto shouted. Unit 02 sprang forth from it's position and charged over to the fallen Eva. It knelt down, and cradled Unit 01's head in it's lap. "Shinji! Speak to me! Shinji!" Asuka yelled, fear slowly clamping it's cold tendrils around her heart. "Don't you dare die on me! Don't die! Dammit, live!!!" Within 5 minutes, Asuka finally snapped back to reality, with Unit-01's head in her units arms and the limp form of her purple knight laying on the ground that she noticed something. There was no umbilical connected to Unit 01 and the fight had gone on for more than 15 minutes, well in excess of the batteries life, and that last she knew Unit 01 was still in cryostasis. "How? There wasn't any power to him and yet he was still fighting, and the horrible berserker menace she had seen the other 2 times (Driac sea and the Assault o NERV HQ) wasn't there, just the plain, purple face with glowing eyes. "Asuka, Asuka, Damn it all answer me" she heard over the radio, is was Misato. "I'm here" she replied "But Shinji....." "I know, Asuka, we aren't getting anything on him either, but can you stand up and pilot Unit 02 still" "I think so, but...." "No butts, stand up and get back here" Misato said. Something had upset her greatly and Asuka didn't know what it could be. "I will help you with Unit 01 Asuka" Asuka looked up and there was Rei and Unit 00 standing beside her and apparently without damage. "Thank you Rei, I don't think I can carry him alone" Together, Units 00 and 02 hoisted their fallen comrade up and carried him to one of the larger elevator platforms and rode down into the depths of NERV HQ. Asuka couldn't think straight and it showed, her Unit lagging behind Rei's and somewhat slouched over. She couldn't understand why Shinji had risked his life for hers, and why she was so powerless against the angel . Since then, the 2 Eva's had been placed In the holding cage and access for forbidden to all except Ritsuko, Commander Ikari and a handful of maintenance techs. Shinji's plug was finally removed from the Eva and he was rushed to the infirmary. Asuka was allowed to exit her Unit and return to what passed for reality following a lengthy debriefing from the Commander. As if having to see the base shrink everyday and being quizzed by Ritsuko just as often was normal. Not to mention the lecture she got from Misato. The strangest thing was, despite the fact that the usual response for Rei, blank stare and no comments, didn't really bother her this time for some odd reason. Shinji was still in the infirmary, Misato and Toji checking in on him almost daily for any changes. Toji even remarked that the infirmary staff were considering personalizing the ICU bed Shinji was in because he was in it so often. Although at the time the comment brought some much needed relief to the situation, Asuka's mood had stayed the same. The only major thing was she had been placed on restriction and wasn't even able to see her Eva, much less be allowed anywhere near a plugsuit, even the routine tests the pilots underwent she had been excused from without any explanation. She just couldn't understand why, why had he risked his life for her. She knew that she picked on him, insulted him, and constantly tried to make herself look superior. 'I treat him like crap and he goes and does this' why, why why why. The smaller nagging questions were, how he beat the angel, why the spear missed, and mostly, how did Shinji get Unit 01 out of cryostasis and fight the angel without the power umbilical. These questions she wanted answered, but no one had the answers. Finally lifting her head, she saw that she had arrived, her daily meeting with the base Shrink. Taking a deep breath and trying to clear her thoughts, she walked into his office. Later, a still depressed and now, slightly angry Asuka emerged from the office. 'Damn' she thought, 'another hour and a half of time wasted, how does he expect me to talk about -my problems- when I don't even know what they are myself'. This had been the routine for the last week. The doctor asking her to explain what she went through and what is bothering her now and her just sitting there arguing that he wouldn't understand, mostly because she didn't understand herself. 'Dumkopf' she muttered under her breath, as she began the long journey home to Misato's apartment. 'She'll probably be half drunk again' Asuka thought as she rode the walkways to the personnel lifts. Halfway across HQ, Misato was actually quite sober and distressed. She had gone to the labs to talk to Ritsuko to see if she had found anything that could be considered good news. She desperately wanted to see Asuka get out of the rut she was in but so far had failed. The only good thing was Toij had just come from the infirmary with news that Shinji was finally stable and had been moved out of the ICU into a regular room which meat he could receive visitors more regularly, even if he was still unconscious. Perhaps now Misato could convince Asuka to at least visit him instead of hiding from him and avoiding any questions relating to him. This just was not like Asuka. Something had gotten to her big time and no one was sure if she would make it back. "Ritsuko, have you found anything yet?" "No, Misato, the same thing I told you yesterday, if I find anything I will tell you" Misato privately knew that she would be kept out of the loop unless absolutely necessary, she hated being a pest, but at least she could get glancing data from the screens as she passed through the room. "I thought you were analyzing the core dumps from the EVA's, Ritsuko" "I am, why do you ask Misato, not like you would understand any of it" "Because that monitor you're in front of looks more like a Synch Ratio comparison" Looking up, Ritsuko found Misato peering over her shoulder at the monitor she was looking at. "It is, have you ever tried analyzing 2 core dumps in less than a week Misato? I decided to look at something else momentarily to give myself a break from the core analysis." "Does the commander know?" "Of course, he told me to take a break before I bug out" "Very unlike him to say that, almost as if he doesn't want the dumps analyzed before he makes other decisions" "What are you talking about Misato" "Well, the rumor is that the Commander is looking for a reason to kick Shinji out for good, and might do the same to Asuka." "Once again, you're grasping at straws and listening to unfounded rumors and speculation" "Am I now, Shinji disobeyed orders, somehow activated a Unit that was in cryostasis, had no umbilical power, and less than 3 minutes of battery power. He bullied me into letting him use a catapult to the surface, and almost lost himself and Unit 01 to the angel." "Well, if it makes you feel better, you have no worries about the catapult issue, the commander said that was a lesser evil than having Shinji rip through HQ again and trying to repair the damage. As for the other parts, I don't know either." "What was the Commander referring to when he told Shinji he couldn't risk 'contamination' ?" "I don't know, that was his call, Speaking of mentally distressed people, how are you doing?" "Fine, and don't change the subject on me, Ritsuko, I want answers and no one is helping." "Why do you want answers, they don't affect you directly" "I am the one charged with being the guardian of 2 people, one of them is in the infirmary, with no sign of recovery, and the other is depressed and distant for who knows how long" "But Misato....." "But Nothing!" Misato yelled and slammed the console "I may not be the most mature person here, but I care deeply for those two kids, kids, not pilots Ritsuko because I know that's all the Commander sees them as. I am their family, you aren't the one trying to persuade the schools that Asuka is fine and will be back to normal soon, and that Shinji will be okay. You don't see the hurt in Auska's eyes and the burden that she and Toji carry with them as pilots but have to hide from their classmates. Damn it all, I've been so worried about them I haven't even had a beer in 3 days, that's how upsetting this is, and by god I want some answers, NOW!" Ritsuko mentally staggered at this, everyone knew that Misato wasn't exactly the model adult, but she also never blew up like this before and seeing the piercing cold stare from her, she knew she was DEAD serious. She knew she was right, they were keeping her in the dark about things on purpose, and she still did her job, and she was the one who tried to give the pilots, no kids, at least some semblance of a normal life. For Misato not to drink, added to the burden of her own problems, namely Kaji's death, meant maybe she should tell her something. "Ok, Misato, I do have something that maybe you could use" Hoping this wouldn't come back to haunt her later, then again, is was bound to get out eventually and Misato would probably be one of the first to notice. "Here is what I'm going over, it's the synch rates of Unit 01 and 02 but also looking at the duration of activation sequences." "What, how fast the Unit's activate?" Misato asked, her features relaxing. "Yes, it appears that with both Shinji and Asuka, their activation times have been getting faster and faster and at the same time, more stable, regardless of overall synch rate" "So what does it mean to the children, and what about Rei?" Time to lie a little. "I haven' t had a chance to compare Rei's data yet and probably won't till after the core analysis. With respect to the other two, either the hardware here and in the Eva's is getting faster or..." "But I thought that the hardware and firmware was already going as fast as it can go" "It is, which means that maybe the pilots, I have to say that here, are learning to go faster" "But the links are mental in natur..." "That's right, it appears that their minds are learning to adapt to the activation and are beginning to actually help and go faster, metaphysically. In reality, it appears that their minds are developing a primitive form of telepathy, at least within the confines of the entry plugs." "Is that how Shinji activated Unit 01?" Another lie, "I'm not sure, but maybe. What this means is that the children's minds, while telepathic in the plugs and LCL, may have some of that ability outside of the plugs, perhaps empathy" Maybe that last part will stall her, Ritsuko thought, I can't tell her much more, of this will come back and bite me. Now it was Misato turn for metaphysical theorizing. "If the two pilots have this ability, could they be receiving the general emotional states of others around them?" "Perhaps, but I really don't know, and can't test that theory even if I wanted to" "Could, if the two of them were close enough to each other, it be possible for them to share feelings and/or thoughts with one another?" "Like I said, I don't know, it is an interesting idea, but I also couldn't test it either" Ritsuko was starting to worry, Misato made a fairly large leap of deductive reasoning, which was most unlike her. Either she was genuinely concerned, totally clueless, much smarter than she lets on, or just mentally very sharp without alcohol in her system. Whatever the reason, Ritsuko should be safe from repercussions, because Misato made the final leaps of reasoning, but Ritsuko would really like to test that theory someday. If empathic or telepathic communication between pilots was possible, it could open up a new level of abilities if applied to the EVA's "Why couldn't you test the theory Ritsuko?" Great, she must be a combination of things, the least of which would be clueless. "Because, Asuka is currently off the active list till the doc clears her for duty." A partial lie, if needed she could get her for testing, "Shinji is still in the infirmary and not going anywhere soon, Toji hasn't had enough synch time or battle time to begin to develop the signs and Rei is the only usable active pilot we have." "Well I guess that makes sense." "I really do hope Shinji gets better soon Misato, I will be completely honest with on this point though. I don't know how or why, but he is the only one who can use Unit 01, I've tried, but I can't even get the unit to give me a core dump for analysis. I have respect for Shinji, not just as a pilot, but as a young man. Please though, I didn't say that to you , and I really do have to be getting back to work now" Misato thought about those last words and relaxed a bit. Maybe there was hope after all. "Thanks Ritsuko, I appreciate the words and the honesty. I'll leave you to your work" With that said, Misato slowly turned and left the lab, hand on her chin deep in thought over what was just explained. Once the door had closed. Ritsuko sat down and breathed a long sigh of relief. 'That was close' she thought, 'Much more of that staring and I don't know if I could've kept up what little fa=87ade I have left, but the real truths would crush her and completely devastate the children if they ever found out'. Looking back at the monitor and putting down the clipboard, she began to think. 'Would it be possible', she thought, the EVA'a aren't speeding up, well Unit 01 was but that was a different story, but the activation time were on average over 20 seconds faster than the original baseline times. If they are getting telepathic we could have either a great advantage and asset working for us, or a complete and total loss of control. Control, what an illusion that was, it was only a matter of time before they lost what little they had, perhaps it was time to be straight with the children and tell them the truth. Without them, either physically there or if they disagreed with the aims of the project, they were as good as dead. With them, in agreement with the aims of the project, and acceptance of the facts and REAL truths, they could unleash the full power of the EVA's against the angels and truly save humanity. The children, she mused. Rei, who wasn't really completely human. Shinji, only child, check that, only biological child of the Commander, left with his uncle without explanation at about age 7, having witnessed the loss of his own mother, called back to serve his father as a subordinate, not as a son, at age 14. Never getting any tangible love form his father or uncle. Obedient, but caring, did what was asked of him with little argument, except for 3 times now. The Unit 3 destruction and immediate problems thereafter, and last week. He was developing a backbone, willing to stand up for himself and not take orders blindly. Maybe Gendo should actually answer some of his questions. Asuka Langly, teenage prot=82g=82 daughter of the head scientist at NERV's Germany branch. Already a college graduate at age 14, also witness to her own mother's destruction, although not total, left her with the inability to distinguish reality from fantasy. Both of the two mothers risked their own lives to further the project, and each effectively lost their lives to it, abandoning their only children in a world where they would receive little love, and much pain and anguish. Toji, the 4th child, picked from the level 4 candidates of Shinji's own class from school, agreeing to pilot only if his sister, injured badly during the attack of the third angel, would be moved to the NERV hospital and cared for there. Got into Unit 3 without any knowledge of the extreme risks involved, such a high sense of honor that the other pilots didn't even know he was chosen as one of them. Forced to sit in Unit 3 as Unit 01 ripped it to pieces, as Shinji had to watch on agony. Surprisingly, Toji didn't harbor any ill will towards Shinji, and still considers him a fast friend. If these children ever found out the truth, at least what I know of it, it could either save or destroy us all. "Contemplating your last actions doctor?" Ritsuko looked up and there, staring at her through those glasses, with his hands behind him, was Commander Ikari. He must have slipped in while I was thinking, DAMN, I forgot about the lab monitor camera, he probably saw the entire exchange. Composing herself she stood and faced Gendo "Just thinking about a few various things sir." "I trust you realize the severity of the situation you have just created." "What situation would that be sir?" "The Major is specifically not involved with the Human Instrumentality Project. Also revealing that Unit 01 is responding outside its' designed limits and the subject of the mental states of the pilots." "I was unaware of any information being imparted to the Major, sir. As for the mental states and abilities of the children, she is the one who cares for them outside of HQ and would be one of the first to suspect something if the children are developing mentally." "Regardless, no information should have been released to her without my approval Doctor." "She was rather insistent, I can't hold her off forever sir, besides, the final reasoning jump was made by her, not told to her. I have an opinion though." "And that would be?" "That Misato is much more observant and intelligent than we initially assumed. She may be on to certain things she shouldn't be and that means one of two things." "And those would be?" "Either we keep her totally isolated from the truth, let her find out on her own and then deal with the problem, or.." Ritsuko paused to see if the Commander would allow her to continue "Or, doctor?" "We allow her access to certain aspects of the project, indirectly, and use her to further the progress of them, thereby keeping her on a shorter leash, as anything we tell her becomes bound under the secrecy act she has signed as a member of the command staff." "Interesting opinions, Doctor. They may prove worth merit, however, I came to get the progress on the two items you were studying." "Well the synch graph history does give a large amount of support to the development of empathic and/or telepathic abilities, if the subject is exposed for the required duration. Rei, however, does not seem to be able to develop these abilities because of her, shall I say, unique personal makeup." "You can say it that way, is this the information you gave the Major?" "Only in part, leaving out Rei entirely and fudging other aspects to conceal the true analysis." "And what of the core dump analysis?" "I get a headache just thinking about it. Unit 02 seems to have suffered zero damage to internal systems or external systems. All readouts check and the integrity of the AT systems and the S2 are both intact. However, I spoke the truth with the major concerning Unit 01. The unit refuses to acknowledge request for a core dump. There appears to be no internal or external system damage other than that already incurred up to that point. We will need the prime pilot to get a core dump for further analysis though." "What about the dummy plug or the fourth child?" "The dummy plug is completely rejected, and the fourth child has no time on Unit 01 and therefore can't be used without losing a good portion of the core dump data that we need." "I see, doctor. Is there anything else to report?" "Nothing professionally sir." "But non-professionally there is doctor?" "Yes, but it would do no good, it is material which has already been covered." "Very well then Doctor Akagi, please continue with the analysis, the council is most interested in the results, good or bad." With that, Gendo turned and left the lab, never pausing, hands never leaving his back. Ritsuko sighed once more once the doors closed. She wondered if she had exceeded her bounds, and the fact that the council wanted the results regardless of final interpretation did not sit well. Not well at all. Rubbing her temples and retrieving her clipboard, she returned to work. Alone in his dimmed office, Fuyutsuki considered what he had just witnessed on the monitor, both the exchanges between Ritsuko and Misato, and the terse exchange of Ikari and Ritsuko. Ikari, he thought, you have used the Lance, but it was not needed, you have shunned your only son, and do not care. Why did I let myself get into this. This pack of lies, deceptions and half-truths. I advise Ikari out of respect for his late wife. Ikari, that's not even your birth name, it wouldn't have gotten you half this far. You took the name of your wife to get what you needed, how many people has he used? How many people have I helped him use? How much longer can I live with myself knowing what I have done? I sit here and watch Shinji go into battle for us believing what we say is true, but how long before he discovers the real truth. Five times he has single handedly saved the image and reputation of NERV. He has vindicated his father's prophecy to those who doubted him. He has risked his life for those of his friends, regardless of how they treat him in return. He has seen the infirmary staff more time than even Rei has now. And not once has Gendo even so much as visited or phoned or sent a card to his son in the infirmary. Misato is correct, Gendo does only see the children as tools that are his to do with as he pleases. But one of them, Shinji, has begun to break away from the influence of the Commander. Shinji believes in the right thing, saving humanity. The H.I.P. is not the answer, dedicated people like Shinji are. People who are willing to fight for their own survival and trust to God to allow the human race to evolve. I stand by Gendo's side during the attacks, but my heart is with the children, they are young, and we have asked them to give up their sacred childhood and embrace a life of pain and hardship. At what point does my soul become so soiled with the injustices of what we do in the name of justice, that it becomes indistinguishable from Gendo's own black soul and heartless mind? When do we stop lying to the children and tell them the truth. Shinji probably already knows. And yet he still fights, would the others be any different. Would they understand the truth, accept it and still offer up their help. These questions have troubled me now for some time, how much longer till I agree more with Ritsuko and Misato, and abandon Gendo's way? Will I be better off, or have signed my own warrant? Breathing heavily, he watched the replay of the tape, and keyed his terminal for the whereabouts of Ritsuko, Misato, Gendo, Shinji, Rei, Asuka, Toji, and Maya. Ritsuko was still in the lab, studying her data. Misato was in the arboridium, most likely thinking and absorbing the information and ideas she now had. Ritsuko was right, Misato was very intelligent and mentally sharp as a tack, just didn't show it as it normally did her no good. Gendo was in a council meeting, a scheduled one, so he would be indisposed for at least 3 hours. Mostly it would be spent listening to the old men berate him for his choice of actions, but Gendo knew how to handle them. Shinji appeared to be in a regular room in the infirmary, the best news he had gotten all day. Rei was at home, completing her homework for school. Asuka was, interestingly, standing outside the infirmary, and looking at the ceiling with a rather blank stare, a definite change from her mood as of late. Then she left the waiting area, got a lift, and was now apparently bound for the surface, presumably to go home. They didn't worry about her safety, NERV security had been tailing her for the last week so he didn't have to worry about Asuka doing something really stupid. Toji was paying his daily visit to his sister, having just finished visiting Shinji down the hall. There's a real trooper, he still held respect for Shinji, even considering the circumstances of the past. He would be most interesting to watch and observe from afar. Maya had just signed on for her duty shift. Mainly just to appear as a routine roster check he had queried her location, just punching names to avoid undo attention. There was only so much that even he could get away with. Having finished, he shut down the monitor and left his office, bound for home, to attempt to sleep with a heavy heart and the weight of a thousand sins on his soul. In the council chambers of SEELE: "Ikari, the council has received some disturbing reports and rumors surrounding the event sof the last week." The Green Council member stated rather tactfully. "I am unaware of these rumors, please enlighten me so I may dispel them." Gendo responded. "Fist off Ikari," The council head started, "we understand that the Spear was used without permission, this would be acceptable if it had worked. However, you failed to anticipate the angel's response and now the Spear is lost to us. In addition, is has come to our attention that you are down to one usable Eva and only 2 pilots, and only one of those has battle time." "The events of the spear were unfortunate, but unavoidable. All information received indicated that the angel was incapable of phase shifting while attacking." Although a poor excuse, it's the only one I have, thought Gendo. Now it was Red's turn. "It also appears that you let your son play with his toy again and wrecked a large section of your HQ, again. We shouldn't need to remind you of the staggering costs needed to maintain your facilities and your toys. We also understand that Unit 01 is now useless without your son to pilot it, when did this -oversight- creep in? Added to that the pilot for Unit 02 is on psych leave and appears to not be recovering. We have invested more time, money and resources then any of us care to imagine and you go and take two thirds of the battle ready forces and render them useless. We do expect an explanation Ikari." "As for the operational status of the EVA's , Unit 00 and 02 are fully functional, Unit 00 is on standby and Unit 02 will be cleared for duty within the next 12 hours. The difficulties with Unit 01 are being dealt with." Gendo responded. "We also have not seen any appreciable progress in regards to the Human Instrumentality Project, which as we have told you before, should be your primary concern." Blue piped in. "The progress of the H.I.P. is proceeding in accordance with the designated outline." The head council member spoke up. "In any event, currently the status of NERV is marginal at best, you might do well to consider this Ikari." "I understand." "This meeting is closed, we appreciate your presence, Ikari. The council does have this last bit to say though. We are holding an unscheduled meeting in 36 hours. Your second, Fuyutsuki will be present, in your position, and you will not be required to attend, please inform him of this and see that he is present." "Very well, I will inform in the morning." "That is all then, You are excused form this session Gendo." With that the 5 council members vanished, leaving Gendo in his seat as the council chambers dissolved and he reappeared in his office. Another 3 hours of berating followed by 2 minutes of responses. When will those old men learn that we have no more time and that I hold the key to humanity's future. Although odd, he would comply with the request and tell Fuyutsuki that he would be expected to appear before to the council. Halfway around the world, the 5 remaining members of the SEELE council reappeared in their normal conference room for follow up. "Do you really think we can continue to trust him?" "I am not sure, that is one of the reasons we are speaking to his second." "If he can be trusted any better." "Background search and investigation reveals that he does not share the same views as Ikari and comes from a much different background. I believe that he can offer substantial insight into the goings on at NERV and the reliability of the personnel there." "I hope so, we cannot afford this much longer. Ikari is trying to keep us in the dark about too many things." "This is true, however, his second may be able to shed light on this and several other rather odd reports that need some explaining." "If there is nothing else, I move we adjourn until the meeting with Ikari's second." "Very well, sleep well gentlemen, we will re-convene in 36 hours." With that, all 5 points of light vanished from the room. Back in Tokyo 3: Asuka, having finally made it home, watched from the window as the NERV security team assigned to watch her parked in the street to await for the next time she ventured out of the apartment. It was odd that Misato wasn't home, but it changed nothing. Checking to see if PenPen was done with his nightly romp in the tub, Asuka decided to take a bath and try to think. Sitting in the warm water, she gazed absently at the ceiling, letting her mind wander where it may. Suddenly striking a chord, she remembered the time Shinji had poured her a bath that was too hot, actually is was just right, but her own pride demanded she make a fuss about something, so she yelled at him that the water was too hot. She remembered other instances where she either teased him mercilessly, or insulted him or just plain ignored him. Could that be part of it, she wondered. She remembered that nice warm feeling she got after Shinji destroyed the Angel and saved her. What was that, he showed up, outperformed me again, and yet I can't get upset at him for it. All the times I make myself out to be better than him, and all the times he shows me up. Each time I get upset, each time I faced death, and yet this time I cried for him, him. It is confusing at best. Now, at least he's out of the ICU. She was so deep in aimless thought, she didn't hear Misato come in and call her name. "Asuka, Asuka are you home?" seeing PenPen she decided to ask him. "PenPen, is Asuka home yet? PenPen raised a flipper and pointed in the direction of the bath, and then calmly entered his 'fridge' to retire for the evening. Well, at least she made it home, Misato thought. Poor kid, so many burdens, and no one to talk to. Misato eyed the fridge door and opening it saw the usual shelves filled with beer. Thinking back to her conversation earlier that day with Ritsuko, she stood there, fridge door open, just staring at all the beer. This is how I escape reality, drinking this stuff till I can't even stand or talk right. And I do it repeatedly, and by my own admission, I'm the one responsible for these children. Standing there staring at the vast quantity of alcohol before her and remembering the number of time she had gotten drunk in her own house, not to mention in front of the children she made a personal promise to protect and care for. Mind made up, she closed the door and started to make dinner. Asuka finally began to reenter the land of the living as she noticed the water starting to get cold, and the smell of food coming from the kitchen. Getting out of the tub, wrapping a towel around herself, she drained the bath and went to get dressed. Not even bothering to look up as she walked through the apartment to her room, half still in her dream world. Inhaling through her nose, two different parts of her mind started a small argument. Strange, Shinji shouldn't be home yet, but the smell is definitely cooking, not instant food. Yes, but Misato hates cooking and if she was home we would have heard her call us and open a can of beer. But Shinji is still in the hospital, because I couldn't... At his point, Asuka couldn't hold up any longer against the rest of the world. She immediately fell to the floor, sobbing, not caring if she lived or died. She didn't deserve to be the one spared, she should be the one in the hospital, not Shinji. Shinji, Shinji, why can't I stop thinking about him? She just sat there, wrapped in a towel, praying for her world to end. Misato, learning her way around her own kitchen for once, was idly thinking while attempting to cook some rice. I can see why Shinji likes to cook, it is kind of relaxing, maybe trying this would help Asuka a little. Then, a loud thump and the sound of tears almost made Misato skewer herself with the knife she cutting vegetables with. Oh god no, she thought as she sprinted to the source of the noise to find Asuka sobbing and whimpering on the floor, crying 'no, no, take me, not him' over and over. This was bad and Misato knew it. Oh well, the rice would burn but this was more important. Kneeling down to the floor she approached Asuka. "Asuka, Asuka what's wrong" she asked while lifting the crying teen off the cold floor. Looking at her face, Misato could see the fear and sorrow in Asuka's face, and the disparity. "Asuka please, tell me" It appeared that Asuka wasn't in good shape, an entire week of trying to hide it had been too much for her to handle. Misato just held her close and pulled her in as a mother would a child. "I couldn't do it, I couldn't beat it, it stood there, ripped my mind into pieces, assaulted what I had left. I couldn't stop it, I couldn't, I couldn't" Asuka sobbed into Misato's blouse. "Shhh, shhh, you're okay, Asuka, please just let it out and then we can talk" "He saved me, but couldn't save himself, I was there. Rei was there, I couldn't move to help him, I was too scared, to frightened, I could only watch as that, that thing ripped into his mind the same way it did mine, picking his worst memories, the most painful ones, and assaulting his sanity with them. God, why couldn't I help him, why couldn't Rei help either of us, why did he have to be the one to duffer the most" Misato could tell Asuka was hysterical and that this would take some time "Why, why, after how I insult him, pick on him, tease him. After I try again and again to show him up, he just takes it in stride, apologizes when it isn't even his fault, ~sniffle~ and keeps on going. Why? How? Me, his worst competitor is in trouble and he still risks his own life for mine, why, god, why? He takes his unit and without even being connected manages to save me, but at what cost, at what cost Misato?" Looking down into her eyes, Misato began to feel the pain and hurt oozing from Asuka, and why she didn't want to talk about it, and mostly, why she was still so confused about it. Now, the decisions she had made that day were cemented forever in her soul, at that moment, when she saw the little girl, scared and alone, sobbing in her arms. Gradually, through the course of time, and the gentle rocking of Misato, Asuka's sobbing slowed to an occasional sniffle as she began to recompose herself. It had felt good in a way to let some of it out, yet it didn't seem to help overall, or perhaps it did. Either way, she had ultimately defeated herself, breaking down into a crying heap in front of someone else. Even if it was Misato, it was a sign of weakness. But, a part of her didn't care, so what if Misato saw her cry, I have a right to cry occasionally. The wounded part of her soul liked the gentle rocking and warmth of being held by another person. It reminded her of the few happy memories she had of her birth mother. "Okay, Asuka?" Misato asked Asuka only nodded meekly in response. "Then lets' go into the kitchen and eat some dinner, okay?" "But, I'm not dressed" "No offense, but we're both girls here, and PenPen has already gone to sleep, so don't worry" Then for the first time in a week, Asuka cracked a smile. The next day: Leaning against the railing on the roof of the school, Asuka once more found herself wandering mentally. Last night's dinner was ok, all things considered. Misato wasn't the greatest cook, but she tried, and she had a glass of milk, not her usual can of beer. The conversation unfortunately kept going in circles around Shinji. She just tried to forget it when she finally heard a familiar voice calling her. "Earth to Asuka, come in." Toji called as he stepped up to railing. "Hello Toji, what brings you to my miserable corner of the world?" "Well, you look like you could talk to someone, as well as some other reasons." "Let me guess, Hikari asked you to try and cheer me up?" "Well, forcibly requested is a little closer to the truth." From nowhere, a rock whizzed by Toji's face. Looking up, he saw a very irate Hikari standing about 20 feet away. He could swear he could see the steam rolling out of her ears. "I think she heard that remark, Toji" "Yeah I guess so." "Did she make you that lunch box today?" "Um..." "I don't think the floral pattern is one of your standard choices Toji." "Yes, she did then." "You know, she really does like you, don't you?" "She also worries about you, Asuka. Have you stopped by and seen Shinji yet?" "No, I don't know if I can take it, seeing him there, unconscious, given what's happened." "Well, he is doing much better however, it wouldn't hurt and maybe just might help if you went and saw him." "When did you get your doctor's license?" "Caring for my sister and seeing Shinji almost every day, one learns how to read and interpret the monitors." Toji then looked over the side of the railing at the 'non descript' black car parked below, just outside the schools student entrance. "Boy, the NERV security branch takes their job seriously enough though." "They have been tailing me ever since Rei and I brought Unit 01 back down last week. Supposedly those four goons are to prevent me from doing anything stupid. The only time their not around is when I'm in HQ." "Yeah, but they stick out more than the Secret Service the US President uses." "I hate having a shadow, the next thing they will do is attach a portable bio-monitor to me." "Maybe, but they are just doing their job. They don't get out much otherwise. I did hear something interesting though." "What's that, they are going to rebuild your EVA?" "I don't know about that, right now I'm just a second left foot, but Unit 02 is supposed to return to the staging cage and active roster today." "That's all well and good, but I am still on medical leave, and restricted from all duties, routine or otherwise, till the Doc clears me." "Well the Doc can go smoke it, personally. But no, the important thing I heard is more of a rumor from the lab areas." "Pray tell, do divulge, perhaps they're going to install coffee machines in the locker rooms." Asuka said, rolling her eyes and feigning interest. "Nope, nothing that grand, just a sec," Pausing, Toji scanned the area to be sure he could see Kensuke, and that he was not actively trying to hear his and Asuka's conversation. "No, apparently they've been looking at the data from you and Shinji. Specifically, the time it takes you two to activate your EVA." "So, that's not important." "Yes, it is. Apparently the times have improved something like 15 to 20 seconds over the initial base times." "So, Ritsuko must've upgraded the interface hardware that's all." "No, she didn't, she can't. The entire EVA side of the process is fixed and can't go any faster than it already is." "So, then Shinji and I are going faster, when does the great rumor start?" "Remember, the process is mental, not physical. If you two are going faster, your minds must be developing. The rumor goes that given the amount of hours that you two have logged in a LCL filled plug. your minds have begun to develop a sort of, telepathy, at while in the plug, that is." "Great more tests when I get back." "Jeez, you can be really dense sometimes, you know." "WHAT!" "If you have the ability inside the plug, and it's something you have developed yourself, perhaps it is also present OUTSIDE the plug, but at a reduced range." Toji couldn't believe he agreed to help Misato try and get Asuka to visit Shinji. Even if the rumor was true, he personally had no way of knowing, Asuka was just being thick today. But even if the rumor was false, she should see him, regardless of if he was awake or not. "I personally want to ask a favor of you Asuka." "And that would be?" "Go and visit Shinji, today after school, just to check in on him, it might make you feel better." Asuka felt the cold dread returning to her. "No, no, I can't, I have to meet with the doctor today." "What, for another hour and a half of silence, I can cover for you, just go and see him." As she dared to dream and look up, she saw Toji wasn't joking. Maybe she should visit Shinji. The Doctor's meeting would be just another waste of an afternoon. Why not, a part of her said, weather you spend that time with a Doctor you would rather see strung up or spending it with an unconscious person, what's the difference? "I'll think it over, Toji. Now get, go apologize to Hikari before she really gets upset at you." Finally, something got through to her. Toji let out a mental sigh. How had Misato talked him into helping her do this anyway? "Okay Asuka, as long as you promise to seriously think about going to visit him." "I will." Asuka replied, mind already halfway out of this plane of thought and into another. Walking away from the railing and back towards the rest of the students on the roof, Toji approached Hikari cautiously. "Well?" Hikari asked, impatiently. "Is she going to go see him today or not?" "I think so, boy she really is out of it though." Toji remarked. "Well, she did go through a lot, I guess." "Anyway, thank you for the lunch Hikari. and I do apologize for the remark I made." "Well, it accomplished what Misato asked to help her with so I guess it was okay. Just remember to eat that lunch now you understand." "Yes, class rep." As he walked off to join Kensuke and his regular lunch crowd, Hikari just kind of watched him go. He is cute, though. She giggled. At least I get some revenge, he'll have to explain the lunch to his friends and that will be far more than adequate for the remark he made. She still wondered why Misato had called her and Toji this morning to ask for their help. Most of the class had already figured out that Toji was that fourth child thing or whatever. So asking him was no problem. But she wasn't connected with NERV at all, she hoped Misato or herself didn't get into trouble for releasing some 'top secret' information or what have you. She and Toji specifically kept Kensuke out of it, although they could've asked his help, Misato said they could. But Toji thought that he would be to absorbed in the 'rumor' than in actually helping, even if it was Toji asking. She wondered herself if the rumor was true, or just something made up to get Asuka to go and see Shinji. Hikari missed Shinji herself. Sure, he wasn't the smartest kid, but he was dependable and reliable. Looking at her watch she saw that the lunch period was just about over. "Attention class 2-A," She announced to the rooftop, "Lunch is done, time to go back inside." As the class members began to file back in, she made a second call to Asuka "HEY, Asuka, come on, time to get back to class, you can finish your daydreaming there." She said this because it was obvious that Asuka was very intelligent and was probably only put into school to keep up appearances. Shuffling through the door to the stairs she hoped that everything would work out. As far as Asuka was concerned, the day just couldn't end fast enough. At NERV HQ later that day: Fuyutsuki sat in his chair and breathed a sigh of relief and worry. Why does the council want to see me and not Ikari. He had just received the 'request' to be present in the Commander's office by 1145 tomorrow for an audience with the council at 1200. Gendo also let it known that he himself would not be present and that this was a direct request from the SEELE council. That worried Fuyutsuki. Being the Vice-Commander meant he had power and privileges, but it also meant that he saw substantially more paperwork pass across his desk than Gendo did. This 'request' was just the icing on the cake. Albeit, today the cake wasn't that bad. Unit 02 had been declared fit for duty and moved back to the staging cage. They now had two units ready in case they needed them. But only one field rated pilot. He would have to see about requesting a synch test with Unit 02 using the fourth child. Ritsuko had almost completed the dump analysis of Unit 02 and perhaps it would be done today and he could review it before his presence was needed at the council. He had already requested the files to bring him up to speed on the various aspects of the NERV charter that he was falling behind in. He really did not relish the council catching him off guard. This was one of the times he missed the seemingly easier days as a University Professor. The only strange thing that had occurred today was Misato being 30 minutes late for shift. Usually they could excuse 15-20 minutes, that was her average tardiness, but this was unusual. She showed up, not unusual, but without the normal signs of having been drunk the previous night. That and security reported that Asuka and the fourth child seemed to have a long conversation during lunch. He personally discarded this last part as boredom on the part of the security people. They really didn't get to do much, and when they did, they got somewhat overzealous about it. The daily report on Asuka's psych progress was the same. 'Unable to determine level of trauma due to patient lack of cooperation, recommendation of inactive status stands'. Personally, he agreed with others, having Asuka see the shrink every day was a bad idea, she would never open up as long as she had to keep seeing him every day. She needed time to sort things out before trying to reconcile them. The Doctor himself was here primarily because he was one of the top psychoanalysts in the world, but his bedside manor was horrible and he had no experience dealing with children/young adults. Fuyutsuki was personally tempted to give Asuka a day or two reprieve from the shrink, the decision to have her see him was Ikari's and then all follow up and progress had to go through him. Make the decision and give me the responsibility again Ikari. But he knew if he gave the reprieve that Gendo would question it and then rescind the order. As the afternoon wore on, an aide brought him updates and progress reports, which he idly flipped through and sorted out into two piles. Those that had to go on to Gendo, and those that stopped at his desk. Among them was a report on the self-regeneration of Unit 01, that one definitely went on to Gendo, but would take a detour while he read it himself, the report from Dr. Akagi concerning the mental development of both the second and third child. And a report from maintenance, about estimates in time and materials to complete the repair to HQ made by Unit 01 prior to Misato's allowing the EVA to make use of the catapult. For some reason, Fuyutsuki placed this one aside, something telling him it might come in handy real soon. He summoned Misato to his office and after she had arrived they had idly observed the polite art of conversation and the normal update reports of the base. Fuyutsuki then hit a switch on t he inside of his desk with his leg, causing the cameras and other monitoring equipment to make it appear that they had gone offline for that room. One of the few benefits of his position. "Major." he started. "Yes sir?" "At ease, and may I call you Misato?" "Yes you may sir." "I am somewhat disturbed at Asuka's lack of progress towards recovering from her ordeal." Oh, crap Misato thought. He got wind of my trying to get Asuka away from the doctor today "She is quite distressed but I'm sure she will pull through." "Misato, why did you tense up, just now?" "Sir?" "At my statement concerning Asuka. your body visibly tensed up, are you, by chance, planning something you shouldn't?" "Sir, I don't think so." "Relax, the monitoring equipment is temporarily disabled, and will not return till I tell it to. Now what are you planning, I promise I won't hold it against you." "Well sir, myself and the fourth child were going to attempt to let Asuka see Shinji today instead of her going to the base shrink." "I see, and how were you to accomplish this feat given the internal monitoring equipment?" "We were going to plant Asuka's locator outside the doctor's office and attempt to stall him sir." "I admire that Misato, but why?" "So the internal locators would think she was near the doctors office and we could sneak her into the infirmary." "No, no. I mean why go through all the trouble?" "I'm sorry. sir. The trouble of what?" "Misato, please. I may be the Commanders second in command, but that does not mean I share all the same views and opinions as he does. I was a college professor before NERV and do have a human heart. Why put yourself at risk, professionally, for the sake of Asuka." "Sir, she may be pilot, but she is also human. She has been unable to cope with the situation thus far. Given the ideas I had, getting her in close proximity to Shinji may just help both of them more than the Doctors and Shrinks ever could." "I see. One moment." Keying his terminal he spoke into it "Maya, are you the only grade A-1 computer tech on duty right now?" he queried. The response came back "Yes sir, Doctor Akagi is off until this evening." "Very well, can you please report to my office, I seem to be having some difficulty with the monitors in here." "Yes sir, I will be there momentarily." "Thank you Maya." Turning off the terminal, Fuyutsuki turned to Misato once more. "I think that Asuka will have no difficulties getting in to see her fallen comrade. If the Doctor gives you any grief, please ask him to call me. You may go now." Bowing, Misato replied "Yes sir, thank you." Having said that, she turned and proceeded to the office door to leave. As the door opened, Maya was waiting thee and they passed each other. As the office door closed Misato heard the beginning of the conversation. "You wanted to see me sir?" Maya asked. "Yes, please sit for a moment. I have here a report from maintenance concerning the repairs to be made to the base. It states that certain systems, personnel locators, some low level security doors, and other small non-critical systems might operate erratically for brief periods beginning this afternoon." "I understand, sir. But why me, and I thought you had a monitor problem?" "I did, I called maintenance and they said it should be back online soon." saying that he hit the switch under his desk once more. "Ah, there they are now. I just wanted to inform you so you knew." "I appreciate that sir, I will keep my eyes open and try to that into consideration. If you will excuse me sir, I have a lot of back logged work to try and finish." "By all means, thank you for your time, you may go." Maya turned and left the office. Fuyutsuki took a few moments to gather his thoughts before resuming work. Hmm, this could be fun, this afternoon. I might as well help them, this may be my final day here, depending on the council meeting. At that. he picked up a random report from his desk and began to read it. At the final bell, Asuka practically tore through the wall in an attempt to get out of school and get to NERV faster. Fortunately, she did have to pause at the front are to obtain her shoes. This is where Toji caught up to her. "Asuka, if you ran any faster, a policeman would give a ticket for speeding" Toji said slightly out of breath from sprinting to catch up with her. "Sorry Toji, but I want to get there, ASAP." "Well, at least you made the right choice. But you need to have someone else go with you." "Why?" "Because, the way this works is, you give me your personnel locator. That way when we both enter the base, we will both be registered on the grid. If not, they will suspect something from the start." "But I don't have a locator." "Yes you do, it's in the watch they gave you when you reported for duty." "I see, okay then, lets go." Although nice to see her out of the dumps, Toji was practically dragged to HQ by Asuka. Geesh, he though, remind me never to get in her way. Once they were in the lift, the real fun began. "Now, please let me have the watch Asuka." "Okay, here." Asuka handed Toji the NERV watch that every person who works for NERV received. "Okay, when the lift stops, we go to the infirmary. You have to let me swipe us in, otherwise it goes bust." "And what are you going to do?" "I am going to check in on my sister and then head towards the Shrink's office." "Why do you want to go there?" "I don't, but I go there leave your watch in the potted plant in the atrium, and then leave. Since the watch will be there doc will see on his grid screen that you are just outside the office. By the time he figures out what happened, it won't matter." "Won't we get in trouble for this?" Toji turned and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Maybe, maybe not. What's more important is that you visit with Shinji. The doc isn't going to do you one bit of good right now, and everyone but him knows it." "Thank you, Toji." "Now come on, we have an appointment with an Eva pilot." Asuka smirked, but followed Toji down the hall. As the pair approached the infirmary, Toji swiped them both in, and walked Asuka to Shinji's room. "Go on, even if you just sit next to him it might help." Asuka'a confidence was failing her the closer her hand go to the knob. "I don't think I can do this, really." She was quivering and shaking and she felt like her legs were either going to turn to jelly or cement in place permanently. She was beginning to crack and break down again, her mouth got dry, and she started to feel really queasy. She thought she felt herself back away from the door but couldn't be sure. "Asuka," Toji said gently from behind, "I know you're scared, I was too the first time I went to visit my sister after she was hurt. It is a fear that has to be overcome, not only for Shinji's sake, but yours as well. Once through that door, it will be easier, I promise. But you have to be the one to walk I there, I can't drag you or push you. You have to face it by yourself." Fear, that was right. Petrified was more like it. It was one thing to see Shinji on a monitor screen, or read about it, or be told by someone else. But having to see it with you own eyes, that was the worst fear in Asuka's mind at that instant. She wanted him to get better, but could she stand the pain of seeing him, on the bed, unconscious, after what he risked for her sake. Could she take the pain of seeing the result of the pain Shinji had endured. She paused, mentally. The pain he endured. Her mind hazed as she remembered something: 'That's where you're wrong, Angel. You know a lot about us, but you still don't understand one thing: life is pain; and pain is _my_ power!!' That was one of the last things she heard Shinji say, at the time she couldn't make sense of it, or even remember it until now. Shinji had to face the pain and force himself to endure it to win the battle. He faced the ultimate in pain, while here I stand here, unable to face the insignificant pain of seeing him in a wounded state. Even in pain there is strength. Even in fear there is hope. Beginning to see one of the lessons she must learn to overcome this point in her life, Asuka reach forward, turned the doorknob and slowly, but steadily walked into Shinji's room. Once inside, she closed the door behind her and glanced at the prone figure on the bed. She knew, somehow, that she could help him now, having taken the first step in understanding what Shinji knew. Outside the room, Toji sighed. Well at least we got her into the room. I thought she would stand out here forever. Seeing that Asuka was still in one piece through the glass in the door, he quickly checked on his sister and then left the infirmary headed in the direction of the base Psychologist. Man is he ever going to be mad if he finds out, but it was worth it. If nothing else, he was helping friends, and they mattered more to him than almost life itself. Misato glanced at her watch. If all went well, Asuka should be in the infirmary with Shinji. She asked Maya to punch up the locations of the pilots. As the blips appeared on the screen, she worried for a second. The indicator lights for Asuka were blinking between the infirmary, the walk to the doctor's office and, for some reason, three LCL plants and maintenance facilities. Toji's was pretty much the same, but popped up in pilot testing labs as well as other places. Rei's was all over the map and Misato knew that Rei wasn't even in HQ, she was on field assignment with the Commander for the afternoon. On a hunch she asked Maya to call up the rest of the command staff and the 3 EVA crews. Just like the others, they blinked on and off all over the base. "What does this mean Maya?" "Oh, I forgot to tell you, apparently the crews repairing the walls of the cyrostatis room where Unit 01 destroyed some walls may be affecting certain systems while they perform their work. Specifically, we were told that the personnel locators and some section of the security grid would be affected as well. I've had security monitors blinking on and off all over for about 45 minutes now" "Where did you get this from?" "Vice Commander Fuyutsuki told me this morning." Realization dawned on Misato. The vice-commander was allowing a plausible malfunction to creep up just about the same time Asuka would be visiting the infirmary instead of the Doctor. She would have to find a way to thank him. "Are any critical or sub-critical systems affected by this?" Misato asked, playing the part of head operations officer. "None that I am aware of, and the backup and fail safe systems are also unaffected. It's strange though, last I knew, none of the affected systems had trunks near the damaged area. But they change things so often, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if that wasn't true anymore." "Is security aware of this development?" "Yes, and after being dispatched to 15 different area when this started, they said they would worry about any problems after the repairs were complete." "Maybe we should recommend some more exercise for them eh?" At this, both girls broke into giggles. Maya had a clue that something was being covered up, but didn't worry about it. Since the only things not working right were people finders and the 'unofficial' spying gear, she just went along with it. Misato, upon thinking more, after done giggling of course, thought that maybe she should let Maya in on what's really going on, but, if Maya was letting the rules slide like she was, she probably knows what's going on, or doesn't want to know anything. Maybe afterwards she would tell her, off duty and in an informal setting though. Back in the Infirmary: She just stood there, looking at the bed and it's prone, unmoving occupant. Nothing but the sound of vital signs monitor next to the bed permeated the room, save her own pounding heart. Asuka didn't like infirmaries. She had not been injured in combat, but after the events of her own mother, she generally avoided them as much as possible. Her mother, could she also be a part of it, she wondered. Seeing her mother years before, as a little girl, watching her own mom sitting in bed talking to a stuffed doll, treating it like her daughter, and the real thing like a stranger. The pain of never being able to be close to her mother again. Finding out later, years later, that her mother took her own life, still while in the infirmary at NERV Germany. Her hate of these places, the pain they brought to her heart, maybe that was also part of why she was so hesitant to visit Shinji. Looking over her shoulder, back through the door, she saw that Toji had departed, nothing was stopping her from just leaving. Part of her wanted to, but another part insisted that she owed Shinji at least this small gesture. That part proved to be the stronger, but she really didn't try to fight it either. As she reached the bedside, she placed her school case against the wall and quietly pulled a chair over to the bedside. Sitting down, she felt a little more at ease. Looking at Shinji, one couldn't tell much, he looked healthy, strong, despite his scrawny build. The real strength is within, in his character, devotion and spirit. The rest is just a shell, not a bad looking shell in some ways, but basically used to carry around the best parts of him. Only a small dressing on his lower lip betrayed the reasoning for his being here. The more she sat and looked, the more she could feel her defenses and emotional walls crumbling around her. She reached out and took Shinji's hand. It was warm, human, she could almost swear she could feel the muscles twitch as she held his hand. His hand was strong, she knew personally. Although very shy, he knew how to shake hands, and had a good grip. Another aspect one wouldn't get just by appearances. How many times had this hand and the other one cooked delicious meals for her and Misato, feeding them something other than instant food. Maybe I should try cooking sometime, like Misato suggested. She just sat there, holding Shinij's hand. thinking and remembering.... In the Doctor's office, Doctor Crestius was getting impatient. Asuka was over 15 minutes late today. He despised working with anyone under the age of 19. He took this job because of the money it paid. But nothing had been said of the possibility of working with stubborn, loud, obnoxious teenagers. Had he know that when the job was offered, he would have flat refused. He utterly despised children. He was at wits end. Each time he queried the terminal for her location, it came back as 'unresolvable' and it was irritating. Enough of this joking around, he thought as he keyed the operations center. "Operations center" the voice on the other end said "Yes, this is Doctor Crestius's office, I need a fix on a person." "For what purpose Doctor?" "Never mind you that, I need the information now!" He stated bluntly, believing the operator to be another incompetent key pusher The video flashed into existence and the doctor was staring into the face of a MAGI system tech, Major Misato Kusaragi, and Vice Commander Fuyutsuki. The doctor gulped. "Doctor, I understand your need, however, there are protocols that need to be followed." Maya said. "A patient was supposed to be here for an ordered appointment about 15 minutes ago and she has not arrived yet." "I am sorry, Doctor, but we are currently experiencing some difficulties with the personnel locator system." "I don't want excuses, I have better things to do with my time than sit around waiting for some stubborn teenager!" "Are you saying that the mental health of this person isn't important?" Misato asked. "That is not your concern Major. I just need to know where she is and why she isn't here." Now it was Fuyutsuki's turn to bring the doctor down a well deserved notch or two. "Doctor, I understand your position, however, the operations center is not a lost and found." "Sir you have no id..." "I have an idea who you are looking for, I read you rather boring updates on her status every day, Doctor" He emphasized the 'doctor' by quite a bit. "I do not think you realize that the person you refer to is one of the extremely rare people who are able to operate the machines that are saving the human race, and incidentally, your hide as well. You are aware of your 'patient' and her volatile nature when she is insulted. Do you wish me to repeat your colorful views of her to her and leave you to deal with. I assure you, even outside of her Eva, she can be a force to be reckoned with. I would also hate to have to report your insubordination to the Commander, not to mention your inability to produce results, which as we both know, is why you are here." The doctor was now noticeably sweating, having gotten the gist of the threat. He had read Asuka'a personnel file. She was strong, stronger than the first or third child. As she was sensitive to insults aimed at her. "Perhaps I will go search for her myself, then. Sorry to have troubled you." And with that, the Doctor closed the connection. Misato and Maya both couldn't help themselves and broke out laughing which filled the command center with a much different but much welcomed sound. "Sir, if I didn't know any better, I would say you enjoyed doing that." Misato commented "Well, you two certainly liked it." Fuyutsuki said. "Besides, he needed a decent scare, he is after all, most annoying." Back in the infirmary room. Asuka could feel her own emotional barriers breaking down, and yet at the same time, felt more at calm and at peace then she had before all of this ever happened. It was almost as if someone or thing was helping her to relax, and open up. A rather distant part of her intellect recalled the conversation she had had with Toji at lunch time, but that part of her had no real voice at this time. Only the increasing felling of security and safety could be felt. She somehow knew she was safe, nothing could really harm her. Looking at her, one could see the impending emotional outburst that would soon follow. Her eyes were slowly tearing, her legs and feet fidgeting,, a occasional sniffle as she tried to hold back the torrent. But it did no good, inside of another minute her head was on Shinji's chest, and clutching his hand in hers, sobbing into the sheets that covered him, trying to apologize the wrong that put him here, and her into safety. "Oh Shinji,Shinji. I'm sorry, so very sorry." Asuka managed to blurt out in between her sobs. "I just couldn't do it, I couldn't. I don't even know if I tried, but I couldn't help you when you risked so much for me. I should be the one in this bed, not you. You risked everything, including your life to save me, me the one who picks on you the most. I am not a good pilot. I don' t deserve the honor I was given. I abuse it and you whenever I wish. You are a pilot, you have earned the title of Third Child. You earned the respect, even though I never gave you any. I don't deserve to be alive. I don't understand, I just don't. Why, why did you do it Shinji? Why risk your life for mine. You had nothing to lose or prove. I should have been left to die. Why did you do it. Please come back to us, to me. Even if only to answer my questions, please come back to us." She continued to cry and sob into the sheets which covered Shinji. She just cried and cried much as she did the night before with Misato. Gradually, her whimpers became softer, as she slowly feel asleep while resting on Shinji's chest, hold his hand. She had failed to notice the slight quiver In Shinji's hand as she fell asleep, or that feeling of warmth she had held briefly while Shinji had defended her in combat. She just fell asleep, occasionally sniffling and whimpering, but asleep none the same. Ok there is Part 2, part 3 to follow Izcer4 Izcer4@rocketmail.com From: Izcer4@rocketmail.com (Izcer4) Subject: [EVA][FanFic] Repost: Power Of Pain Alternate Part 3 Ok, here is the second installment of my fanfic. All constructive comments will be read and applied wherever possible. All flames will be laughed at and sent to the deepest regions of Valhalla for all eternity The original Power of Pain was written by Corey Holmes Evangelion is Copyrighted by Gainax and others This is a work of FANFICTION and should be treated as such Evangelion: The Power of Pain 3 Alternate By Izcer4 When she opened her eyes it was like she was in a painting by Salvador Dali. Nothing seemed to make sense. She patted herself to make sure she was all there, and in the correct shape. She saw a green sky and black lakes. Strange creatures flew through the air that looked like a cross between the devil and a polar bear. This can't be real, she thought to herself. Where am I and what is this place. "This is the inside of our minds" A voice said from behind her. Turned, surprised to say the least, and saw Shinji stand there. Shinji, the wholes him, awake, alive, breathing. "Shinji?, is that you? How? Why?"Asuka was confused to say the least "Yes, It's me." "How are you here, the Shinji I know is in a hospital." "I am Shinji, and we are in a hospital. What you see around you is the visual manifestation of both of our minds converging with each other. Mixing, and yet staying separate at the same time." "That, or this for that matter, makes no sense" Asuka was now very confused, both from her surroundings and seeing Shinji. "Actually it does make sense but will take a little time to explain, come on, lets get you to somewhere a little less distracting and we can talk." "But if your unconscious, how can we talk and why am I here?" "Follow me, please Asuka. We are both safe here, and the fewer visual distractions there are the easier it will be to understand." Asuka started to shy away, something was wrong. The Shinji she knew didn't act this way. "NO, you're not Shinji, you must be something else, he would never act this way, he's too shy and reserved." Shinij sighed. This was not going well. "Mother" he called out, "Can you please help me a little?" Without warning, both Shinji and Asuka were whisked away, though the air and set down comfortably in what appeared to Misato's apartment. "How did you do that, whoever you are?" Asuka inquired, her mental guard back up. "Asuka, you need to trust me, for both our sakes. I can't make it back by myself, and you will probably end up killing yourself if you don't resolve this. Either you have to trust me here or we both will die. Me in a hospital bed, and you when your own insecurities and lack of confidence catch up with you. I am Shinji Ikari, son of Yui and Gendo. Pilot of EVA Unit 01, one of your housemates. Or do you not remember the battle with the angel?" "If you are Shinji, and I am not sure if you are, and since you apparently can read my active thoughts, tell me something I don't know that Shinji would that would give me proof of who you are." "That would be hard, since anything I tell you, you can mentally justify as being false since you don't know about it" "Try me" Asuka said, but found a certain amount of truth in the words she just heard. "Ok, lets see, the truth about my mother, your mother, a few of the secrets of the Eva.." "What about my mother!?" Asuka almost jumped at that. Wait, how can he know anything about my mother, I never told Shinji the whole story, I don't even know it myself, she thought "You are beginning to understand, here, our two minds are linked and we have very few secrets that can be held from each other. The basis of how it works is basically telepathy, something both of our minds learned how to due because of the piloting. Outside of the plugs though, the range and effectiveness of it decreases dramatically. Mostly limited to a form of empathy, but if in close enough proximity to each other, this is possible." "What is possible?" "What you and I are experiencing right now, direct telepathic communication. And before you say it, just because I am quiet and shy on the outside, that does not mean I don't possess the ability or knowledge." As Asuka looked at the figure sitting across sitting across from her, her own guards fell, as the quieter part of her consciousness continued to beat into her to believe him, since no other person other than Shinji knew some of these things he/it was saying. "If you are Shinji, why did you save me at the risk of your own life?" This was going to be hard for her to take emotionally, and she knew it, but she just had to know. "Well, I didn't know that this was going to happen to me, but primarily because no one, and I mean no one, not even my own father, deserves to die in that fashion, having their most painful experiences ripped from their minds and thrown back at them. Having to die knowing that the people who could save you couldn't, because of other reasons. You deserved to live, you have the right to die in peace, not in pain. You have the right to learn the truth, to rid yourself of your weaknesses and to try and have happiness in your existence. But also because I knew I could help, the three of us, you, Rei, and myself are a team. Toji is also a part of that team and will enter the combat ranks someday. But as a team, if we cannot die together, we have lost. As a team, we are strong, by ourselves, we can be divided, but as one mind and spirit, as we have proven time and again, we can overcome and emerge to fight again. But most importantly of all, it was because I care about you, and couldn't stand by idly and watch you suffer without trying to help." Asuka just broke down, leaped across the distance between them and wrapped herself around him. "I'm so sorry, Shinji" she wept, "I just stood there and did nothing, while you risked everything for me, please, I beg you, forgive me. Please forgive me." She just wept there and continued to cry. Shinij gently wrapped his arms around her and held her until she stopped crying before resuming. "Asuka", he said. She lifted her eyes up to meet his, "One, I'm not a priest, but more importantly, there is nothing to forgive. The blame is not yours, or mine, or Rei's. You did what you thought was right and good at the time, which is all we can ask of you. You were not told everything you needed to know, either by design or by accident. But the fault is not yours, it's not yours" "Then who's is it, if I am not to blame for my own failure, then who is?" "Who said you failed? You went into a situation without being told how to deal with it. You took what you already knew and tried to apply to a different problem. To that end, you did perfectly. The fact that the solution didn't work doesn't matter. You tried and that's what counts." "Then how did you win then?" "I didn't really, look at what happened. Yes, I defeated the Angel, but the price it cost put me in the hospital for, what's it been now, a week?" "Try 10 days." "Ok, for ten days, with no sign of recovery. I became locked inside my own mind. Since that was what I had to use to beat the Angel." "The mind as a weapon?" "Yes, and I really have no desire to try it again, man what a headache." Asuka giggled as she disentangled herself from him. She saw a smile form on Shinji's face and found it had soon spread to her own face as well. "So, can I ask you a few questions Shnji?" "Sure, but keep in mind some of the things you probably want answers to are better explained face to face, not telepathically." "Sure, I don't want to pry, but what is that place I woke up in? "Just a plane without structure, the open parts of your mind and mine intermingling to produce a visual landscape" "So where are now" "Basically the same place, except I am mentally imposing a structure to the void, by my own will, to give us these surroundings, once here, your mind actually helped mine, and is partially supporting the vision. Can I ask you a question?" "Go ahead" "How is Misato taking all this, it must on hard on her" "You don't know the half of it. Misato has made come good changes to her life during this, and is really trying to help me through it. She actually arranged for me to come to see you today, but I almost couldn't do it" "That's good to hear. But you have learned one thing. In order to continue on we cannot allow our past pain to overpower us" "You mean you could sense me coming?!" "Not exactly, I could feel genuine concern and high hopes occasionally, but just before you arrived here, I felt a large amount of lingering pain and resistance to letting it go." "Well, the high hopes and such were probably Misato and Toji, they visited you almost daily. The fear was mine, but I would prefer to discuss another time." "That's ok, I won't pry. And how is everyone else handling things?" "Well, the Commander is upset over something but not saying what, as usual. The vice commander has been preoccupied with something as well. Dr. Akagi is getting royal headaches over something and Rei is just Rei." "What is the doctor upset over?" "Kinda hard to tell, I have been removed from active duty and mostly get info from second hand sources. It appears that the doctor is unable to get Unit 01 to do anything, even give her the data dump she wants to analyze. There appears to be only 2 or 3 people that can even come close to the unit without it repelling them with a low power AT field. "That last part I know about, I will ask and see if Unit 01 will give the Doctor the data she wants." "And how will you do that, you're in a bed, on the other side of the base from the cage?" "I have my ways, and I will explain them later, when I help you learn how to use your Unit better." "What do you mean better? The Eva is performing well enough as it is." "How much do you know about he Eva's, about their origin, their nature? The Eva is not a machine, but a living creature, with a soul, and a will. They help us, but we can also help them." "Is that how you operate your Eva for over 10 minutes without the umbilical?" "Partially, the secrets of the Eva are known to the doctor and my father. Yet he will continue to hide them from us as long as he can." "Why, contamination hazard?" "No, he fears what will happen if he loses what little control he has over them, and us" This last part was dead serious, and quite disturbing to Asuka. "What do you mean the truth?" "I will explain later, but for now, enjoy your nap, Asuka. I thank you, because your help and ability to overcome at least a small part of your pain, I can now rejoin you and the others n the outside. I'll be waiting for you when you wake up." With that, Shinji gave Asuka a small kiss on the forehead, and began to disappear. Asuka didn't even notice, for in that instant she was filled with a warmth she hadn't felt in years, and somehow knew she had won a small battle in a much larger war. Back in the real world: In the analysis lab, a terminal suddenly sprang to life. Connect Status: Unit 01 core system ONLINE Command Request: Unit 01 core dump for analysis Checking Buffers and Interface Speed: OK Unit 01 linkup: Confirmed Operation: Selective Core dump Begin Operation And with that, thousands of Megabytes of data flowed from Unit 01 into the waiting terminal. If one were to look at the Eva from the window, they would sear that the eyes were faintly glowing. Half an hour later, the terminal shut itself off automatically at the end of the core dump. When looked at the next morning, no one would realize that Unit 01 had no umbilical, and there was no data connection wire running anywhere near the unit. The entire process was completed without an ounce of wiring between send and receive points. And the eyes of the mammoth Unit 01 were once again dark. After recomposing himself after his own embarrassment, the base shrink finally decided that enough was enough. It had been over 45 minutes since Asuka had failed to show up for her appointment, not that he cared. But he decided to go look for her even if only to berate her to lessen his own wounds. For another thirty minutes, he searched the base top to bottom, looking everywhere his access level would allow him, concentrating on places Asuka might have gone. All except the infirmary. He knew from her file that she avoided them at all costs, and for all intents, wouldn't go into one unless she was dead. Having exhausted all other places and even having some of the female base staff check the female only lounges and locker rooms, he decided that perhaps she went to the infirmary because she knew he wouldn't look there. It went against most of his knowledge of behavioral patterns , but then again what did he have to lose. Once in the infirmary he checked the current patient list, however short it was. He was able to narrow it down to two possibilities, either she was with Toji's sister, or with Shinji. He checked the room held by Toji's sister, and it was vacant except for the patient herself. He had Asuka by the proverbial balls now. If she was in Shinji's room, he would berate her, right in front of the comatose third child. It would also throw her into suspect as it would violate her own psych report. Upon approaching the room, he slowed down, reaching the door, he glanced through the window. There she was, asleep with her head on Shinji's chest. He reached for the knob, turned it, and entered the room. As he approached the bed, he sensed that something was amiss, but couldn't place what it was. Once he got closer, he saw that the third child was awake, and holding Asuka's head gently against his own torso. Shinji's eyes looked up and saw the doctor. They were not nice eyes that bore into the doctor's gaze, but rather cold calculating ones that seemed to peer right to the very core of his being. The doctor spoke. "What is she doing here young man?" He asked rather forcefully. "She is sleeping, rather contently at that so please keep your voice down." Shinji replied, with a tone that demanded respect, despite the position of his body. "She is my patient and was supposed to see me today, and don't you dare tell me to control my voice you little upstart, you may be the third child, but you are still just a child." "You WILL lower your voice, doctor" "I will do no such thing" At that moment, the doctor shuddered as he felt a cold wave of fear pass through him "Please leave, or I will call and have you removed on the grounds of entering w/o permission and for disturbing the patient" "And what makes you think you have any power to tell me what to do young man" "The fact that you have no right of authorization to be here" Came a voice from behind him. Spinning around the doctor came face to face with a very irate Misato, who happened to have 3 security guards with her" "Major, you knew she was here and purposely hid that fact from me, I will see that you are written up for this outrage. I ...." "You will do nothing of the sort, guards please remove the good doctor and escort him back to office" At the command, two of the security guards rather roughly grabbed the doctor and removed him from the room and began dragging him down the hall, kicking and hollering all the way. Misato turned to the remaining guard. "Under no circumstances whatsoever, is that excuse for a man to be allowed to enter this room, understand" The guard nodded in agreement. Misato entered the room and closed the door behind her. "Good to see you awake, kid" She said as she approached the bed and gave Shinji a kiss on the forehead. "We've really missed you, you know. That was a really good scare you gave us." "I have no intentions of ever repeating the performance so don't worry." Shinji replied. Misato looked at the sleeping teenager resting on his chest. She had a silly looking grin on her face and was sleeping soundly. "How is Asuka, Shinji?" "She is ok, I think she will be able to come through without too much trouble. I was beginning to worry I might not be able to make it back myself though" "That is the soundest I have seen her sleep in over a week, she was in really bad shape, I had to use a few favors to cover for her today. So I take it that that you two talked." "More or less, but we did it m...." "Mentally, I know." "How did you know, Misato?" "Actually, Ritsuko gave me the idea, thank her" "Ritsuko? You mean Dr. Akagi, right?" "Yes, she was studying some data on you and Asuka and fond something weird." "Like what?" "Well, something about your activation times, but we can talk about it later. You're awake again and that's what matters. The doctors will probably want to keep you overnight before letting you go, but don't over exert yourself. And tell Asuka that it's her turn to cook dinner tonight when she wakes up, OK?" "Okay, Misato." Misato turned and walked towards the door, and paused and looked back just before opening it. "I think it would be best if we not tell everyone of your mental abilities, Shinji. Ritsuko will probably want to test you but I worry more about what the Commander would do and how he would try to use it for his own gain. Just be careful with it, please." She turned and opened the door, exchanged a few words with the guard and then left, Shinji could see her take her comm unit and lift it to her ear as she walked away. "Yes," Shinji spoke to the emptiness of the room, "I, no we, must be careful from now on" Looking back down at Asuka, Shinji closed his own eyes and went back to sleep. Out in the Hallway: Walking down the hall Misato's thoughts were interrupted by her comm unit. Picking it up and placing it to her ear, she proceeded to have a few rather enlightening conversations. "Misato here, what is it?" "Major, this is the Vice Commander" "Yes sir?" "Are the children alright. I just saw the good doctor being dragged back into is office." "Yes, Shinji has woken up and Asuka will be ok, I don't know how I know that, but I do" "That is good to hear, and your secrets are safe with me. In the meantime I have Dr. Akagi who wishes to speak to you if that's alright" "Go ahead and put her through" "Actually, we are both in the lab right now, can you please join us here?" "I'm on my way sir" Damn, Misato thought, I really wanted to just go home, but after what he has done for me today, it can't hurt to see what Ritsuko wants. Probably wants to chew me out about something or other again. She beagn the lengthy stroll towards the lab, not really in a hurry to get there. When she got there, she entered the lab and found Ritsuko and Vice Commander Fuyutsuki leaning over a monitor. They both looked up, and motioned for Misato to come in. "Let me guess Misato, Shinji woke up today?" Ritsuko inquired "Yes, I thought you had the day off Ritsuko?" "I forgot something here and came back to get it. When did Shinji wake up?" "About 45 minutes ago, why?" "Look at the terminal, it recorded an automated linkup, and download of the core dump from unit 01 that I've been trying to get for the last week." "So someone got through to it then, right? "That what we thought" Fuyutsuki said "But we checked with all the techs and crews, not one person was here, no door activity recorded, nothing, the Unit just did it itself." "But the really strange thing is that we had no power umbilical running to the unit or any data cables, whatever happened, it happened entirely be wireless remote means" Ritsuko added "So, if Unit 01 gave us a dump, why, and why now?" Fuyutsuki questioned. "I can only think that now that Shinji is awake, the Unit will respond more willingly to our, shall I say requests, of it than it would while it's pilot was not conscious" "So you're saying that Shinji has a direct link to his EVA, Ritsuko?" "It would appear so, but also the damage to Unit 01 has been repaired, slowly, but it was being done by the unit itself, and not by maintenance crews." "How do you know this Doctor?" "At first just a hunch, we know it has some abilities, the battle with angel number 3 proved that, but when I cam in and saw the dump record, I though about some things and had the maint. crews place a slab of raw skin material in direct contact with the foot of the Unit" "And the result?" Fuyutsuki and Misato were both intrigued "Watch and see" With that, Ritsuko hit play o a monitor and a video appeared, recorded earlier, that showed a slab of metal resting on the foot of the EVA, the unit still having a few holes from its various encounters. Slowly, on the monitor, the slab of metal grew smaller and smaller, and finally disappeared from view. At the same time, a few of the remaining damaged spots on the EVA grew smaller and smaller, until they were completely healed, and looked like there had never been a hole at all. "What did we just see Ritsuko?" "I am running test to confirm, but I believe the EVA is actually healing itself using matter it is in direct contact with. But I won't know for certain for a few more hours." "Doctor, will the results be known before noon tomorrow?" The VC asked. "I believe so sir, why may I ask?" "I have a meeting with the council tomorrow at noon, just me, not the commander. I would like to have as much up to date information as possible. I don't know, but this might interest them, and I don't think Gendo would tell them without seeing if it can be used as a weapon first." "I will try my best sir, and have whatever result I come up with to you by 1100 hours" Ritsuko replied. "Thank you Doctor, and Misato, please look after the children. I think their lives may become a bit more complicated in the next few days" "I will sir, and thank you for the concern" Misato felt relieved to an extent, but a new worry had entered her mind. The impromptu meeting done with, Misato and the Vice-Commander left the lab and went their separate ways, Misato to her apartment, and Fuyutsuki to his office. Ritsuko stayed in the lab and started calling techs down to the lab to assist her with the tests and analysis that had to be done. More cogs have been added to the machine, but how many until the machine is overloaded. Later that evening Back in the infirmary room, Shinji had awakened from his nap to find that Asuka was still asleep and that the doctor wanted to speak to him. Well I suppose I should wake her up gently, he thought. As he gently roused her from her slumber, she gradually became more coherent. As her eyes fluttered open, her head still on Shinji's chest, one could mistake the view of her face as that of a heavenly angel, not that of a distressed teenager. "Good evening, sleepy head" Shinji said softly. "Uuum, that was a nice dream, Shinji" Asuka said rather slowly, still mentally waking up. "Well, at least you look better than you did when you came in" Asuka sat up, and bent backwards, relieving the stiffness in her back. He then looked rather quizzically at Shinji, who, when she lifted head off his cheat, had propped himself into a sitting position on the bed. "It wasn't a dream was, it. What you said. It is real, and I didn't imagine it, did I? "No, it was real, all of it. You have helped me when I needed it, and I will help you to overcome the obstacles ahead. The first steps were separate, the rest will be together. We can help each other and ourselves. The truth will be learned, and the past dispelled. We will learn the truth together, and unlock our true potential." "That sounds like a bad line from a movie, Shinji" Asuka said as she giggled "Maybe it was, but you should get home, Misato is probably wondering what is taking you so long" "Okay, but you promise to get out of this place soon, okay. Misato isn't really a bad cook, but we both miss you a lot." "It's a deal. I'll see you soon" Asuka stood up, straightened her school uniform, and turned to leave. When she got to the door, she remembered her bag, ran back to the bed, picked it up, and gave Shinji a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you for everything" She whispered into his ear. She then ran to the door and left, skipping down the hall, never having felt so good in her life. She didn't understand it herself, she hardly ever skipped, she could even swore she forgot how, but a lot of things she thought she had forgotten were being remembered now, both the good and the bad. Perhaps, with Shinji's new found openness and help, the bad parts wouldn't be as bad this time around. After she had left, the doctor entered and took Shinji's vitals, asked a few questions, the usual 'I just woke up from a comatose state' routine. He told Shinji he could go home tomorrow evening and that he was to take it easy for a few days. He would be allowed to leave the room in the morning, but couldn't leave the base until late afternoon. Shinji wasn't worried. He had people to talk to and places to go within the confines of the base. He knew he had to see his Eva, and had to talk with Vice Commander Fuyutsuki, which he also told the doctor. The doctor said he would forward the message. So much had happened really, and he was both proud and wary of himself. He now knew the truth. Not the truth his father gave him, or Ritsuko, but the actual truth behind many things. He had a new ability, which was good, but would have to be controlled. He had used it on the shrink just to make him keep quiet, but that was also in a brief flash of anger. He would have to watch out for that. Shinji closed his eyes, and reached out to the minds closest to him. There was the guard outside the door, who was glad to be doing something, anything at all. He sensed that the guard really didn't know anything about who he was guarding, or what his employers ultimate goals were, but that was expected. He could sense the nurses down the hall, but not really get anything, probably too far away. He could also touch the mind of Toji's sister, and he spent some time there, learning about her and Toji. When he had finished, he let her return to blissful sleep, and went to sleep himself, hoping he wouldn't have to tell Toji what he had learned from his sister. Back on his office, Fuyutsuki was doing some hard, deep thinking. If Shinji is now directly linked to his EVA, and can activate it without needing our support, then he should know the truth, there is no way he couldn't. If the EVA is self-regenerating, that could be a great asset, both from combat turnaround, and for the penny pinchers of the council. If Shinji is going to help Asuka, perhaps they, or he himself should tell her the truth as well, and have Shinji present to give her moral support, she would definitely need it. But if these were true, what to do with Toji. He could be possibly used as prime pilot for Unit 00, but Ikari, would never agree. Even though they knew Rei could never achieve what the others could, Ikari would still refuse. Perhaps they should seriously consider rebuilding Unit 03, there was still some salvageable pieces left, including the S2. But they were missing a critical part, one that could not be easily replaced. Thankfully Gendo had been out of the base for most of the day, the antics he had played part to would never have happened if Ikari was present. Fuyutsuki pondered the days events and laughed. It was fun, possibly the first time since Shinji had arrived at the base to be a pilot. There had been laughter in the control room, welcomed and much needed. He glanced at his desk and saw an incoming message flag. Keying the terminal, he accepted the call. "Fuyutsuki here." "Sir, this is Doctor Hangai, down in the infirmary." "What can I do for you doctor?" "I have been asked by the Third child to relay a message." "A message from Shinji,, what is it Doctor?" "The third child respectfully requests an audience with you tomorrow morning, sir, concerning certain matters kept from him that are now not as such, as well some 'prospects' he said you might find interesting." "I find it unusual that Shinji would ask for me, Doctor." "He also said that if you found it unusual, to remind you of your promise to someone named 'Yui' sir" "Thank you Doctor, I will see him first thing in the morning, around 1000 hours." "Very good sir, we will inform him of your agreement. Infirmary out." The terminal clicked off, but Fuyutsuki, just stared into space. No one, not even Ikari, knew that Yui had extracted a promise from him to be there for Shinji when he really needed it. He himself had almost forgotten about it, especially in light of the recent developments. So he knows everything now. All the better. He knows and he still agrees to talk to me, to Misato, and the others around him. A smile creeped onto his face as he reflected that Gendo's only son had grown up, without his father, and had matured, and accepted the truth. Gendo would not like this, but it was no longer his decision. Shinji had just turned the tables on Gendo. Gendo can longer hide the truth from his son, and must deal with the lies he has told. This would be most interesting, indeed. Perhaps Fuyutsuki would make it out of the council meeting alive after all. He turned off the monitor and left for home, carrying that smile on his face the whole way. The Next Morning: Bright and early, unusual as it seemed, Asuka was up and about getting ready for school. Misato couldn't believe her eyes. Not only had Asuka come home last night with a smile on her face, but had slept well, got up and was now almost ready for school. Misato wondered what exactly Asuka and Shinji had discussed, because whatever it was, it was definitely for the better. Asuka left for school on time, reminding Misato not to be late herself, and had even put out PenPen's breakfast, something she rarely did. Misato decided to ask Shinji what he did, because Asuka did an almost 180 degree turn around, and was back to her old self, more or less. Getting ready for work herself, she wondered how the day would go, the Commander was back, and they didn't know if he would probe into what had occurred. Ritsuko spent the entire night in the lab, and although it would probably be pretty bland, Misato found herself wondering what she had found from that core dump. Misato also knew today was the meeting between the council and the Vice-Commander. She was genuinely worried for him, why she couldn't tell. But usually, using the Commander as a gauge, the council didn't go easy on people. Her mind continued to wander as she did the same in preparation to leave. She mused to herself that she was going to have to start wearing at least a towel again, in the almost 2 weeks that Shinji wasn't here, she had begun to slip back into some of the habits she had before he arrived. At NERV HQ, Fuyutsuki was on his way to the infirmary to meet with Shinji, having a somewhat turbulent night's sleep. Added to that was the Commanders inquisitive remarks on why he was going to see Shinji, or as Ikari had put it, the third child. That man didn't have an ounce of compassion, even for his only son. But the meeting with the youth was bound to be interesting, at the least. Fuyutsuki wondered if Ikari would go so far as to watch via the monitors, it would be like him to suspect something was up, but nothing could be done to prevent it. The only rooms in the infirmary without monitoring cameras were the locker rooms, for privacy mainly, but those were too open for insightful discussions to place in. Well, he thought, Ikari is bound to learn sooner or later, so he might as well learn while watching. He checked in at the front desk, and proceeded to Shinji's room. The guard on duty saluted, and opened the door for Fuyutsuki. He then closed the door after him, and took up his watch post a few feet down the hall. Fuyutsuki would have to look up who he was and thank him for the small gesture of increased privacy. "Come in Vice-commander, please. Have a seat" Shinji was awake and polite as ever. "Thank you Shinji. Before we begin, I would like to know how you know about Yui?" "If you mean my mother, it was because she told me herself" Fuyutsuki, now sitting in the chair next to the bed, raised one eyebrow at this. "You weren't even 7 years old when your mother passed away Shinji, how could she have told you anything?" "If you seek proof that I know, ask my father why his camera were unable to record any of our conversation, of how I am able to activate my EVA without external power. I know the whole story, sir, she told me the truth. About her, my father, Dr. Akagi's mother, what she knew of Rei, Asuka's mother, and you. I know why there is no body in her grave. I know why my father smirks when Unit 01 does things it shouldn't be able to. I know why he didn't want me to go save Asuka. I know, sir. Even about the promise my mother extracted from you during a dream the night after her untimely death, if that's what you want to call it." "And why then, Shinji, if you know all of this, do you still sit here and talk to me. I have done so many things I should never have, I don't think.." "I am still who I was, but slightly altered, for the better I suppose. My mother held you in the highest regards, both as a man and as a teacher. I see no reason why I can't do the same. As for the rest, well, Humanity does need to continue, not along those lines that my father and the council think however. As a pilot I have learned many things, suffered much, and actually gained very little. The EVA are the only hope of defeating the angels, yes. But the H.I.P. is not the answer to the next step for our kind. But I asked you here to discuss other matters, perhaps, another time we may venture into the philosophical discussion this is leading to." "I think I would enjoy that very much. It has been far too long since I have been able to have stimulating conversation with another person. Let us move on then to the meat of your true purpose for asking me here." What followed was a rather intense 60 minutes of explanation, advice, questions and answers by both sides. Both learning form each other, and teaching one another. Shinji learned much of why this man was so admired by his mother, and Fuyutsuki learned why Yui loved her son so much more than some other mothers he had seen. He also began to understand things about Gendo he never knew, and why he kept so many secrets from him and his only son. He also gained a better understanding of what the EVA were, and the enormous power that they contained. Things began to make better sense to him than they ever did. Shinji had agreed to remain a pilot for NERV, nut stressed that if the goals of his father conflicted with those of the greater good of humanity, that his father would lose in the end. Fuyutsuki believed him entirely. The boy had grown up, learned the truth, and still did the right thing to do. Gendo would not agree with that statement, but as he saw it, Gendo's power and influence was going to be changed, whether he liked it or not. Returning to his office, he saw that the god doctor had completed her analysis and had delivered the report as promised, to him. There was however, a note attached to the report asking him to contact her as soon as possible. He did so almost immediately "Dr Akagi" Fuyutsuki said to the terminal. The machine came to life and sought out the person in question. From the other end a connection was established and ensued. "Ristuko here" "Dr., I just got back to my office and saw your report and note, what can I do for you?" "I was beginning to worry sir. When I started to analyze the dump, something strange came up" "And that was?" "It's not a total dump. Selective portions were removed and not stored in the main terminal. There a quite a bit of them too." "Dr. I am not surprised, really. Please do not be concerned with it. I thank you for your prompt analysis and report. I will explain what I can after my meeting." "Alright then. But the other thing is that Unit 01 has completed it's regen, and is now, for all intents, perfect again and ready for duty." "I see, very well, make arrangement to have Unit 01 moved to cage, and doctor, make sure that the binders are removed from the unit. We will not need them anymore for Unit 01" "But how will keep the power in check. Without the binders, the Unit can....." "I understand your concern. But rest assured they are not needed. If you insist on keeping them on, then either we lose an advantage or you will have to explain why new binders must be made and installed after each sortie." "Oh, I see. Very well, I'll have the binders removed before we move the unit to the cage. Akagi out." With that the terminal went blank. Shinji had asked him to see that those blasted binders were never used again on Unit 01. He could keep the power in check himself, and said that each time they were installed, he would remove them. Fuyutsuki had no doubts that he could, so I'll save him the trouble and have them removed. If Gendo wants an explanation, I'll give one. Fuyutsuki pondered for a little while longer. Shinji was now fully capable of doing whatever he wanted to do with his Unit. He promised to not let this power go to his head and to act responsibly when using it. To this end Fuyutsuki believed him. He had never seen Shinji break a promise, much like his mother. Shinji said he would be instructing and helping Asuka to unlock that same power in herself, this he was a little nervous about. Shinji calmed him by explaining that the binders could be kept on Unit 02 until Asuka had mastered what she needed, and also that Asuka, although outwardly different, held many of the same values that he himself did. The other matters they discussed would wait until the meeting, as they directly involved the council, and their approval. There were some things that had be done by the book, but not Gendo's book. His terminal lit up indicating an incoming call. He keyed to accept it. "Fuyutsuki here" "Gendo, here. Just reminding you of the meeting that starts in 15 minutes, Vice-Commander." "Thank you sir, I am on my way." "One thing, old friend." "Yes?" "What did you do to the monitors in the infirmary this morning. The security people report 5 monitors going blank for 60 minutes with no apparent reason and then returning to normal function." "Why do you ask Gendo?" "I know you went to visit the third child, and this blackout seems highly suspect." "Incorrect sir. I went to see a young man. A very intelligent one at that. If you wish to know what happened to the monitors, I suggest that you ask him, not me." "Careful, old friend, that last remark could border on insubordinate." "That it may, but it is the truth, I will see you shortly. Fuyutsuki out." At that Fuyutsuki keyed off his terminal and left his office, bound for Gendo's. He would be angry at the remarks, but they were the truth. And if Gendo wanted to know what happened, he would have to speak to his son for the answers, he would not get them from him. Entering the office, Fuyutsuki noticed that Gendo was out of his desk chair and near the door, waiting for him. "Sit at the desk, when the red light on the left flashes, press it." Gendo said and left After he left, Fuyutsuki made sure the door was locked, and sat at the desk. Within three minutes, the red light began to flash. Summoning up what little courage he had left, he pressed the light. The office went dark, the desktop lit up, and 5 other lighted desktops with occupants appeared before him. So this is the SEELE council. These five men control NERV and who knows what else. "Kouzou Fuyutsuki, Vice-Commander of NERV, you have been requested to this council chamber for the purpose of information exchange. Do you understand this" The white councilman said. "I understand sir. My audience is for the purpose of information exchange" "Good, with out of the way, let us begin. Please be aware that anything you say here will not be held against you, impede your career, such that it is. Nor will it place you on any form of increased surveillance, black list, or anything of the sort. We merely seek the views of another high ranking officer within NERV." "Very well, sir. I am ready." "Good, first, what exactly is your relationship to the Ikari's living and dead?" "To Gendo Ikari, I serve as Vice-Commander, overseeing operations in his absence and as a somewhat limited advisor" "Why limited?" Green piped in. "My advice is from a different point of view, and Gendo does not veer to far from his own beliefs. To Shinji Ikari, I am his superior officer, officially. To the late Yui Ikari I was one of her professors at Kyoto University. I also server as her faculty advisor and sempai during her university years." "Why did you leave the University? You had the equivalent of the American term tenure, and the University we know still hold your position open should you choose to return to it. Why leave there and join with the group that formed NERV?" "Respectfully sir, those reasons are mine and mine alone. I have not nor plan to divulge the reasons behind my choice." "We can accept that as good enough. One thing we are truly interested in however, is the status, the true status of NERV and it's EVA's." "Unit 00 is fully operational and on standby, Unit 02 was put back into active duty 30 hours ago, and is also on standby. Unit 01 will be on the active list before the day is out." "But, and do not avoid this one, what is the battle readiness of the personnel." "All personnel are on standby 24 hours a day. The operations staff are at combat readiness at all times." "And the status of the EVA pilots?" "Pilot for Unit 00 is on standby, Pilot for Unit 01 will be released from the medical facility today, and is cleared for active duty in 3 days." "And the other two, the second and fourth children?" "The fourth child is plug certified, but has no active combat time. We anticipate that the second child will be fit for duty in less than a week." "So, basically, you have three EVA'a and only one field rated pilot then?" "That Is correct." "What are the current plans for the fourth child?" "The fourth child has been undergoing synch test using all profiles from the EVA's. He should be able to use any of them, however not at full effectiveness." "We have received word that Unit 01 has developed a few, shall I say unique, quirks, least of which is a regenerative property and a rumor has it that only the Third Child can activate or use Unit 01. If these are true, you face a severe security risk." "Unit 01 has developed a regenerative property. As for the security risk, it is one I am willing to take." "You, why, and what exactly is going on here. We are tired of being lied to. You and your people have been given a sizable portion of the economic resources of this planet, and you presume to tell us that one of the devices entrusted with the safety and protection of the Human Species is now only usable by one person. And that person is not even an adult. What makes you thinks you are able to handle the security issues by yourself." Fuyutsuki had had enough of this dance. He would not be bullied and coddled as Gendo was. "What gives you five the right to determine the destiny of an entire planet? What gives you the right to hold the truth from the people. Why does the truth have to be withheld from those 'entrusted' to operate your savior machines? I pose you these questions. You ask me what is the status of NERV and its personnel. I will tell you. There is a change coming. A departure from the dictates of Gendo and towards what is right for the members of NERV and the world at large." The council settled into stark silence, this was unexpected, but by their own admission, the council would not hold him responsible. Finally the Council head spoke up. "This is not what we expected, you will excuse us for a moment." With that the five council members vanished, and Fuyutsuki reflected on what just transpired. He was surprised at himself. That outburst was not planned, yet it felt goof to vent those statements. He continued to sit there for another 5 minutes, then the other 5 members of SEELE returned. "Forgive us sir, we occasionally forget ourselves in other matters, perhaps we may begin again, and attempt civility on both sides of the coin." "I too apologize, I usually do not burst out like sir, and a civil conversation may profit better for both of us" "Then let us begin again" With that Fuyutsuki and the council started what was to be a most enlightening conversation. For both sets of participants. Back in the Real World: Gendo was losing patience. First he had learned that the good doctor had sent the core dump analysis to Fuyutsuki instead of directly to him. She was currently pre-occupied with other projects to drop everything and get another copy of it. She said it would be a few hours and she would send his office a copy. On top of that, he could find no one who could explain why the monitors in the infirmary cut out. He was having a generally bad day. Apparently everyone was trying to hide things from him, instead of the other way around. And they were doing a good job of it to. He was not about to cow tow to the third child for an explanation of anything. It was his base, his ideas, his plan that would save the human race. That he would have to go one of his subordinates, his own son for that matter, for information was completely alien to him. But he hated loose ends. Then when trying to get back to his office, he found it was still secured. That was most odd. He had been gone over 5 hours. Every council meeting he had attended never went longer than three. This did not bode well Shinji, meanwhile, was getting his legs back, so to speak. Spending almost two weeks bedridden had left his legs very stiff when he tried to walk on them again. But he continued, and gradually his legs came back to some semblance of normal. He basically just walked throughout the base, Seeing people he 'sensed' were concerned for his health and welfare. He also stopped in the lab, where Ritsuko was testing Toji's ability to synch with Unit 00. It didn't look too good. He also stopped in the cage and sat in front of his EVA with his eyes closed. Several techs eyed him quizzically, but said nothing. To them, he was the pilot, and how he did what he did was part of the mystery. They accepted him for that, and respected his desire for seclusion. But more than one tech swore that the eyes of Unit 01 seemed to faintly glow as Shinji sat there. But it could be dismissed as a reflection from the lights. Asuka was also doing much better. Still daydreaming to an extent, but without the depressed looks that had pervaded her mood for the last 2 weeks. The mood of the entire class had improved with her somehow. Weather linked to Asuka's state of mind or not, it was welcome. Everyone was just happy to se her without the depressed downtrodden look. Neither Toji or Rei were in class that day, but that was hardly noticed. Asuka was basically waiting for the school day to end, that she could be free for remainder of the day. She really wanted to go and see Shinji again today, why she couldn't really tell, but she felt that it would be important, for both of them, not just herself. She was having trouble even trying to fake paying attention. It wasn't just that she had already learned all of the subject matter being gone over today, but the teacher just was so incredibly boring, she couldn't stand it. The only goo thing was apparently the four goons assigned to keep tabs on her had been called off. They weren't present at the apartment, or at the school, she had checked during lunch. That was a relief in and of itself. Now she could walk wherever she wished, and daydream whenever it suited her, without fear of it being noted on some stupid security log someplace. Her mind however continued to mull over things. The admission from Shinji that he cared for her, this caused much internal confusion. Also the statements of unlocking her own powers and abilities, and those of her EVA. How it would not be easy and would involve some pain. She made a promise to herself last night, and she planned to keep to it. She didn't know how, but she was going to. Somehow, she would pull through this in one piece, with Shinji's help, but she would pull through. She found it strange that she was forming an attraction towards Shinji. Weather it was because she truly did like him, or a mental impression, she didn't know. But she was definitely looking forward to seeing him again, that was certain. She was so busy daydreaming, she almost missed hearing the bell. After coming back to reality, she burst down the hall at breakneck speed, as if trying to attain a new land speed record, as she raced to get to NERV HQ. Finally, after five and a half hours, the doors to Gendo's office opened, and out stepped, with a very parched throat, Fuyutsuki. "I trust your meeting with the council went well, old friend?" Gendo inquired. "I don't know for certain sir, but they let me leave, so I can assume that something went right." "What exactly did they want with you?" "I was instructed not to divulge any of that information to you, Sir. My apologies" "Very well. I need to see the reports for today, and the updates for the H.I.P. and EVA status." "I will have them sent to your office immediately." With that, Gendo entered his office and locked the door shut behind him. You arrogant fool, thought Fuyutsuki, you have no idea what will be happening. But even worse, you will be powerless to prevent it. But right now, I have to see a young man about some things. It did make Fuyutsuki feel better, knowing that he had the council's approval for some of the things he discussed, assuming his request to Shinji went well. He was confident it would. The council was intrigued by some of the ideas and information that had been given to them, apparently Gendo had been hiding a lot from them. Fuyutsuki found it hard not to laugh as he pondered what would be happening in the coming days. Down in the Holding Cage: As Shinji continued to simply sit there, in front of his EVA with his eyes closed, he failed to either hear or pay attention to the opening door at the end of the cage. Ritsuko stepped through the open door, she had heard that Shinji was down here and wanted to ask him a question or two. As she approached, she could almost sense a conversation occurring, and by the look on Shinji's face, one of pure calm, that might just be what was happening. She stopped a small distance away, as not wanting to interrupt. She absently gazed at the EVA, one of the mighty weapons she had helped to create. One of 3 weapons she helped build, built on the work of others, and drawing their theories and ideas into her own. As her glance got to the head, she thought she saw a faint glow in the eyes. She peered closer at the eyes of Unit 01. They did have a glow to them. "I'll be with you in a moment Dr." Shinji said, still sitting on the floor with his eyes shut. Ritsuko was snapped from her momentary investigation by this. This was weird to say the least. "Actually, Doctor, it is quite simple to understand, if you want to understand it." Shinji had opened his eyes, at the same time the eyes on the Eva going dark once more. He stood up and faced Ritsuko. "What can I do for you today Doctor?" "Actually, Shinji, I wanted to thank you for helping us to get the data we needed from Unit 01." "I don't think that's the only reason you came down here. The data was always there, you just had to ask for it correctly." "You did have something to do with it, didn't you? Are you also responsible for the blank spots in the data?" Ritsuko asked, quite enthusiastically. "I merely asked for her to give you what you needed. If parts were missing, then she believed that those parts weren't needed by you. I apologize if it caused you any problems." "No, not really. Wait a second, who do mean by 'her'?" "My mother, of course" Shinji said while placing an open palm in the direction of Unit 01. "Your mom. She died, Shinji, I thought you knew that." "Doctor please. I know the truth about my mother. Not the version the public was told, or the version my father contends to be true. Or does he keep you in the dark that much as well?" Ritsuko thought for a moment. He knows. Everything. Christ, this could get ugly, but on the other hand, we're all still here, and not at the receiving end of the Eva's fury. "Okay, Shinji. I didn't realize how much you knew. In a way I am glad, I grow tired of hiding things from you and the other pilots. I did need to ask you if you know of any way we can get Toji to activate an EVA. We haven't had any luck so far, except for the now defunct Unit 03." "That may not be a problem for long. But I believe that Toji would be able to utilize, although not as well, my EVA. Unit 01 should be able to synch with him. Provided you don't try and reset the pilot profile." "But if I don't reset the profile, that will mess things up." "Why do you think the dummy plug won't work anymore, why do think Rei is able to use Unit 01, when she can't use Unit 00 anywhere near as well. The EVA is an intelligent being. It will not be coddled and told what to do and how to think. If you just put Toji in there, he can pilot it. Not as well as I can, and not to the same power level, but he can pilot it." "You mean the EVA is actively rejecting the dummy plug and has a choice in how well it works?" "No, I mean that, at least with Unit 01, and shortly Unit 02, that the EVA allows a specific person to pilot it, and to what extent it will respond. Unit 01 is unique, primarily for me. We both know this Doctor. That is how it reacted without a plug that first day I was brought here. The EVA seeks to protect me as a mother would her child. I think you can make the rest of the logical connections." "I see, so basically, except for Unit 00, the dummy plug is now worthless. And why do you say that the issue with Toji may not be of concern for much longer." Ritsuko was at the 'fish out of water' level now. This young man was explaining things that were held in the tightest security possible. And he talks about them casually. He knew part, if not all of the EVA'a secrets. He was almost at an intellectual level equal to her own. But mostly it was the change in personality that disturbed her. She was used to the shy, inward Shinji. This outward, intelligent one would take some getting used to. Before Shinji could answer her question, Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki stepped into the cage and spoke. "Because, depending on the answer to one question, we may have appropriations for a new Unit 03." "And what question might that be sir, we are still missing the key component, the one that cannot be manufactured." Ritsuko was approaching severe headache time. She now had to play catch-up, instead of being the one to wait for others to do so. "Shinji, I have a question for you from the council." "I see, then they were receptive at least in part then?" "Actually for the most part. Apparently Gendo was keeping a lot from them." "And the question is?" "It concerns what you will be teaching Asuka. The council would request that, if possible, to teach her how to activate the regenerative properties in her EVA, as the first thing you teach her." Shinji placed a hand on his chin and began to mull something over. "Wait a minute, He's going to teach Asuka how to do what?" Ritsuko felt the beginnings of a panic attack. She didn't know if she could handle 2 pilots with full access to the power of the EVA. "Relax Doctor, It is needed if we wish to continue. A team is only as strong as it's weakest link. We need Asuka to learn to unlock what she has inside her, lest it become our weak link." "I believe that can be arranged sir" Shinji finally answered. "The regen is always there, just not used. I see no problems in complying with the request of the council. It may take a week or so, but I will try and concentrate on that first of all." "I thank you Shinji, once Asuka has the regen on her EVA active, the council will approve the construction of a new Unit 03. We still have the remnants of the original, correct Doctor? "Yes, but they can't be trusted, we don't know if the angel is still latent there or not. Besides..." "Doctor, please. You now as well as the Vice-Commander and I do, the moment Unit 01 pierced the S2 in Unit 03, the angel was dead. There is no 'latent' presence." "You are correct, Shinji. Sorry, I have problems dealing with this. But all we have left is the brain case and most of the spinal section, minus the entry plug interface." "It is a start, though. I will put a requisition that the salvageable pieces be moved to Heavy bay 3 and that the frame be setup for EVA construction." "But the commander will never approve it." Ritsuko said "This one matter is no longer his concern. I have my instructions from the council itself." "I see, well then I guess that's all then. If you two will excuse me, I am going to go nurse the migraine you gave me." "Doctor." Shinji said "We do not intend to keep you hidden from the truth, know that and prepare yourself." With that Ritsuko left the cage, rubbing her temples as she left. A moment after she departed, Asuka came in and walked up to Shinji. "Hello Shinji. Can I talk with you for a moment?" She asked "One moment, Asuka" Shinji said, and then turned to Fuyutsuki "If you will excuse me sir" "Of course, you two go and get, and I don't want to see either of you before tomorrow morning" "YES SIR" The two teens responded in unison. After leaving the cage, Shinji and Asuka began the tedious walk back to ground level, going slower so Shinji wouldn't tire out. They had gone almost 10 minutes before they spoke. "What did you want to ask me Asuka?" "Huh?" Asuka was daydreaming again, and Shinji unexpectedly brought her back to reality. "I just wanted to talk, I don't really understand what's happened, or what's going to happen. I fell apprehensive and yet calm about it at the same time. It's confusing." "We do have much to talk about, but do not worry of what will happen, just let it. If we spend time worrying about what we still have to do, we create additional obstacles that need to be overcome. But let us talk once outside, less prying eyes and ears to worry about." "Hai." Asuka replied, just being near Shinji helped her to feel better, more at peace. She wasn't sure what was happening to her, emotionally, but she liked what had happened so far. When they reached they surface, they began to leisurely stroll toward the apartment they called home. Along they way they passed a large park, which had some trees and gardens. Shinji stopped and motioned for Asuka to enter the park. As it was close to sunset, the park was mostly empty, and also had a decent view of the city. "Why did we stop here, Shinji?" "I need to explain something to you, something that is key to my ability. Something my father has withheld from me for 10 years, the truth about my mother." Shinji sat down on a bench, and Asuka sat next to him. Why he wanted to tell her of his mother she didn't know. Everyone knew Yui Ikari was a casualty of an experiment many years ago, and was buried in the memorial cemetery dedicated to those who died either in the second impact, or in the pursuit of the solution to it's effects. "I thought she was buried in the memorial cemetery, near the markers of Misato's parents. What do you mean the truth about her?" "She isn't buried there, there isn't a corpse, or even a ceremonial urn of ashes. Just a hole filled with dirt. Her tombstone was put there as part of a cover up by my father." "Why would he want to cover up the circumstances of the death of his own wife?" "To hide the truth. Tell me, what do you know of my mother, Asuka?" "I know little more than most other people. She was a part of the UN expedition to Antarctica, involved in the project that led to the creation of NERV. She graduated from the University where the Vice Commander used to be a professor, from what I get from you, she was a kind loving person, dedicated to her work, but deeply protective of those she cared for. I also know that she knew my birth mother. Why?" "My father's family name is not Ikari, he took that name when he married my mother. He was also a student at the University with my mother. He was an extremist, my mother was not. She sought the answers to problems, without resorting to drastic measures. Both of my parents knew, or had an idea, of the tragedy that was to befall this planet, and they agreed, at least in part, on how to save us from our own extinction. This is the premise behind the EVA." "Alright then, why did you ask me what I knew then?" "The experiment my mother died in was here, at the cage, 10 years ago." "WHAT?" "I was in the control room, pressed up against the glass, watching my mother work. My father, the Vice Commander, and Ritsuko's mother were also there. They were testing what would become the entry plug system, and the interface it could produce. You see, the EVA are living beings, with souls, and wills. They were created in the image of certain things best left alone for now. But, the basic rudimentary cores of there functions, the entry system and pilot interface have been around for about 12 years." "Are you sure, I thought that Rei's Unit 00 was the prototype model?" "Her EVA is the initial test bed for all basic systems. Unit 01 is the battle prototype, and has several differences from Unit 00. But I watched, not understanding until too late, as my mother died in from of my eyes. As she left this world, in what would become the entry system for Unit 01." "That had to be hard." "Not really, I was only 5 at the time, and didn't really understand death. It is harder now, remembering, watching as I heard her voice scream in agony, and frustration, and glancing over and seeing my father and Ritsuko's mother, just standing there, not trying to save her, letting her die. The only one who attempted anything was Fuyutsuki. He tried to save her, but couldn't . That part of EVA would not release her from its' grip." Shinji was on the verge of tears himself. Asuka could see why he loved his mother, and hated his father. Why he was generally well behaved and compliant with requests. To see your own father not try and save your mother, such a sight would break the will of any normal human being. "And when they were able to get the plug out?" Asuka didn't want to pry, well maybe a little. But she was interested in this. Why did they let her die? "When they pulled the plug out, all that was left was the wetsuit she had been wearing. Our plug suits are special devices, they link our souls as it were to the real world, but back then all they had were wetsuits, like divers wore. Do you remember when I was 'absorbed' into my EVA?" "Yes, we were worried, and Misato was a wreck until it spit you back out." Asuka trailed off, not wanting to make the connection, but she already had. "That's what happened to my mother. She was given a choice, either relinquish her life, or be responsible for the death of all. She chose the former. And to this day she still resides in Unit 01. Watching, but most of all, protecting me. Trying to keep me safe from harm, being my mother." With that last statement, Shinji put his head in his hands began to cry. It was one thing to know it in his heart and mind, but to say it, was almost too much to bear. Asuka thought and remembered, it all made sense, most of it anyway, how Shinji could repeatedly do things no one could with Unit 01. It wasn't him entirely, it was his own mother, trying to protect her only son. She remembered the few happy times with her own mother, those few cherished memories. Shinji had the same, but fewer memories to remember. Asuka saw Shinji crying, and felt for him. Really felt for him, not a sympathy ploy, or a mental impression, but true concern. He knew the truth of his own mother, something everyone else took for granted. The pain of knowing she was still here, but could never again touch her own son, or the son hug his mother. The two existed to all others as a machine and its pilot. She leaned over to Shinji, picked his head up, and looked in to his eyes. There was hurt and pain in those eyes, the pain of a boy who grew up without love, of a boy who never really knew his own mother, save fleeting impressions. She gathered Shinji into her arms and him, just as Misato had done to her a few days prior. The one had brought her out of her depression, and consoled her, now need consoling. And she was not going to deny him what he needed most right now. Okay there it is, have fun. Coments are welcome. Izcer4 Izcer4@rocketmail.com From: Izcer4@rocketmail.com (Izcer4) Subject: [EVA][FanFic] Repost: Power Of Pain Alternate Part 4 Okay boys and girls, here is the third installment of my continuation. Due to requests, this part is a bit shorter, and I will be trying to limit all subsequent parts as well, to something a tad shorter than this one. As usual, comments are welcome, flames will be laughed at and sent to the depths of Valhalla for all eternity Izcer4 Evangelion is copyrighted by Gainax and others, all of whom have more lawyers than you can shake a stick at This is a work of fan-fiction as should be treated as such Evangelion: The Power of Pain 4 by Izcer4 After about 20 minutes, Shinji gradually stopped crying. He picked his head up off of Asuka. she still just trying to comfort him. "Thanks ~sniffle~ I needed that." "No trouble, I've two people there for me within the last 3 days, just returning the favor." Shinji straightened himself out and began to stare out in the general direction on NERV HQ. "Over there." he said, motioning towards the base they had just left. "There is where the saviors of humanity are, and those who seek to plunge us into the dark ages once more. There are those who follow without knowing where it is leading them. There are those who seek to stop the madness, and those who attempt to preserve what is right. There are those who feel they aren't contributing enough, and others too much, each side wishing to remedy that. There are hopes and fears. Plans and saboteurs And we, you, Rei, Toji, and myself, all caught in the middle of it. Not knowing what's real, what's a lie. What's right and what's wrong. Each of us with our own problems and not having any way to deal with them. Not being able to grow up, being a child one moment, and having to try and be an adult the next. Not being able to enjoy our youth, however short it may be. Being told that the fate of humanity rests with us, and yet not trusting us with even the truths of our own pasts. But I really shouldn't be dumping this on you yet, you're not ready." "Bull, I know they keep things from us. That they expect us to behave and act as adults, yet treat us as infants. They continue to evade our questions, and feed us as many lies as they think we will swallow. I know that what will be happening will be difficult and not easy. But I also know this. When you came back to us, that was the end of the deceptions. We all may have trouble adjusting to the new aspects of your personality, mainly the fact that now, pardon the french, you've developed a backbone. Even your own father will have to come to terms with that. He uses you as a tool, and thinks of Unit 01 as his crowing achievement. He will have to deal with the fact that it will not work without his 'tool' to operate it. Who knows, he may even actually have to start referring to you by name and as his son, not as 'Unit 01 designated pilot'. I hate that term." "That is a part of it. He never wanted a family. He only uses people, and well, I guess he goofed a little , somewhere's about 15 years ago. He will have to deal with it. I intend to get some satisfaction from it as well. Not to the point of being snooty, but it wouldn't hurt to take him down a notch or two, eh?" Both teens burst into giggles at the thought of Gendo Ikari actually having to call Shinji or Asuka by name, and not by their pilot designation. Wishful thinking for the most part, but who knew, perhaps it would happen. And maybe the angels would just leave, fat chance. After laughing themselves silly, the two teens, stood and continued on their way home, holding hands. A new kinship had been formed, and neither one of them wanted to lose it. Back in the Lab: "Sir, I understand the part about moving the core sections to the heavy bay, but it seems pointless." "Why? Do you think we will be unable to rebuild Unit 03." Fuyutsuki had gone with Ritsuko to the lab to continue their conversation, although Ritsuko knew some of the implications, she couldn't rationalize the rebuilding of the lost Eva. "Sir, although we still have the braincase, and the majority of the spinal column, we don't have a working S2 for it." "We have the actual S2 from the original yes? "Yes, but we are missing the internal part that allows the entire thing to work right." "You mean an actual human soul, by that correct?" Ritsuko paled. She knew the Vice-Commander was kept out of that loop, could he have learned what allows the Eva's such incredible power. It was never released, but the reason NERV US Beta, along with the almost complete Unit 04, has vanished from the face of the earth was that the test pilot refused to relinquish herself to the Eva. To be absorbed into it's essence, to be a controller of the raw, unfocused power that was Evangelion. When the pilot refused, and tried to exit the plug, the S2 exploded, taking everything, and one with it. It was the same with each Eva. Each one had the soul of a living person in it. The accident with both Shinji's and Asuka's mothers, it was the same. They relinquished their lives, that their children may live. Yui had been completely absorbed, Asuka mother hadn't, they still weren't sure why. She had only relinquished her hold on reality, not her entire life. Ritsuko didn't know who's soul was in Unit 00, but she had her suspicions, hopefully they were wrong. She also knew who was the soul of the ill fated Unit 03. But when it was destroyed, the soul was lost. The S2 was intact, yes, but without the soul, it was worthless. If the VC knew, she didn't even want to think about it. "What makes you think there is a soul inside the S2, sir?" "Doctor, one, your paling when I said it, and the fact that Shinji told me, and I was present when he lost his mother. I know that each EVA must have a soul, to offer guidance to the untamed power within, and that together with an actual pilot, is what actually controls the Eva. So please, don't pretend that either of us don't understand." "Shinji Knows? Oh my god. What will we do?" She was actually terrified. If Shinji knew, it was as good as over with. That was probably the most closely guarded secret they had. She had played a part in it, albeit a small one, but still had a bit of blood o her hands. She didn't know what to do, her mind completely blanked out. She was experiencing a panic attack, she couldn't think straight. All her knowledge, all her abilities failed her at once. She slumped into her chair, holding her head. It was over, as far as she was concerned. There were no more secrets. Shinji knew, and what else did he know? Ritsuko found herself wishing that the earth would just swallow her up now. How could she face him, Gendo would be furious, she let out something that was never meant to be revealed. What was she going to do. "Doctor?, Ritsuko, answer me" Fuyutsuki was shaking her violently, she just sat there, blank looking, with a look of sheer terror on her face. Gradually, Ritsuko calmed down, and began to think again. "I'm sorry, I guess I zoned out for a moment there. How much does he know, sir, really know?" "He knows everything." Whew, at least she hadn't sent herself in a seizure. "He knows the deepest secrets we have kept from him. I would not worry Doctor. He knows of your small involvement in the events, and doesn't hold a grudge. If he did, do you think he would have spoken with you this afternoon, or asked Unit 01 to give you that data you were looking for. I think the only one he holds at fault is Gendo. e is the one who should be afraid. Not us." "Hai, I guess. But, even if we rebuild the Eva, where will we obtain the missing piece, and one who will integrate with Toji?" "That is something best left dormant for now. Shinji had an idea of where to obtain the essence we need, but said he will deal with it, as he views it as partially his fault it may be available. He wouldn't expand on it, but I believe him." "I guess it will have to do, but I still don't like it all that much." "That is understandable. It will be trying on all of us here, but I believe it will work out for the best in the long run. Shinji is still willing to fight for us, even if not in full alignment with the original aims. He is a fine young man, and although I believe Gendo sees his existence as a mistake, and barely tolerable, I am glad he is here. He has offered me an insight into myself I though lost. And it is somewhat enjoyable to see him turn the tables on his father. I am looking forward to that most of all." "I guess, I hope another angel doesn't attack before he is ready, or any of us for that matter." "What is the status of all battle pieces, as it were?" "All the EVA's are ready, and in the cage. But Rei is the only pilot cleared for duty. Shinji can't pilot, officially at least, for another three days, and Asuka is still of active roster until medically cleared." "And Toji?" "He is active, but has zero synch time, I can't seem to get any other unit to come close enough to activation to use him as a pilot. I think he said he feels like a second left foot, I think." "Well, I can see about getting Asuka onto the active roster, but I think that she wont be ready for a bit, she has thing to overcome yet, things that may not resurface until she is back in her plug. I can see that she and Shnji are on routine practice and evaluation sessions, for whatever you may wish to test them for. I ask that tomorrow, on Shinji's suggestion, that you try Toji in Unit 01, without resetting the pilot profile." "As crazy as it seems, I suppose I can do that. I also need to see if Rei can still use Unit 01, anyway. But I think I'll ask Shinji before just sticking her into the plug." "I think that would be most wise, I think he will see no problem with that. I suggest, that for now at least, you go home an d get some sleep, as I am going to as well. I have much to consider, and I think you do as well." Ritsuko agreed, and they left the lab. Both bound for their separate abodes, to ponder what had occurred this day. Each to consider ho to deal with the new aspects of what was to come, and to try and come to grips with the pieces of reality that had been wrenched from their graves, and handed to them. Across the base, Gendo was not pleased. He had managed to get part of the Doctor's and Fuyutsuki's conversation, but the monitors cut out again. Likewise, he couldn't get a visual from the holding cage. All the equipment checked, but something was selectively blocking his view. He had seen the order to move what remained of Unit 03 to the heavy cage, a cage that existed for two purposes. For repairs involving severe structural damage to the EVA's, and also it was the only cage in which a Eva could be constructed. That did not bode well. Before he could rescind the orders, the council had overrode his attempt to override. The fact that the council was directly intervening disturbed him. For the first time in a very long time, Gendo felt ill at ease. He was not about to cow tow to the pilot of Unit 01, nor to anyone else. If the boy knew something, it didn't matter. He was a tool, nothing more. He also felt ill at ease over something else. If the boy was the only one who could use Unit 01, would Rei be able to use it still. If not, he would be down to 2 EVA's, Unit 00, and 02. Unit 01 would have to be delegated to scrap, he could not trust it if he did not control it. Back at Misato's Apartment: She had caught a glimpse of them from the window, and looked out to see if it really was them. Sure enough, there was Asuka and Shinji, making their way towards the building, holding hands no less. Misato smiled to herself at this. They would both come out of this okay, she knew they would. She would have to think of some way to rib them about how close they were getting, but that was a fiendish plot for another time. She leaned back from the window and resumed cooking dinner. She thought she had the rice down pretty good, she had burned 2 pots already, the results didn't even resemble rice, but this pot looked okay. This isn't as simple as it looks, she sighed to herself. She momentarily turned her attention to the fridge, still with it's stock of beer, untouched now for over a week and a half. She felt pretty good overall, but part of her wanted to drink, to hide from its own past. She had almost started drinking again last night, but fortunately, good sense prevailed. But she wondered how long before it would not rescue her from herself. The evening passed rather peacefully, with mild jokes and the sort. Even PenPen had noticed that Shinji was back, and had given him a pat on the leg. Big complement from one who cant talk. Eventually, Shinji went to bed, after being shooed out of the kitchen for trying to help clean up. He had a restless night. He was far from the warm, protective aura of his mother, an aura he had enjoyed for almost two weeks. Now, at least for the time being, he was separated from it. Asuka, on the other hand, slept peacefully, the smile on her face giving one a glimpse of how she was feeling. Misato almost didn't even try to go to sleep. She spent the night thinking, mulling over what had transpired, and over what may be transpiring in the days and weeks to come. The Next Day: Everyone was a bit nervous. Ritsuko had requested that Unit 01 be moved to the testing cage, and after asking Shinji, had the binders reinstalled. They were going to attempt to synch Toji to Unit 01. Perhaps even try with Rei, to she if she was still able to use the EVA after all that had happened. Shinji looked bad, mostly from not enough sleep, but his demeanor had improved once he reentered the base. Asuka had been a bit of a daze all day, but she also noticed something, or perhaps felt is a better term, a slight difference when she entered the base. Toji was nervous, not quite sure what would happen. He had herd the tales, and seen the recordings of the awesome power Unit 01 had displayed in the past. A small part of him was scared that he might not make it, that something similar to his first piloting bout would happen. Rei was as could be expected, watching, silently, doing what was asked of her. Occasionally piping in with an introspective comment. As they approached the test cage, the two genders made their separate ways to don their plug suits. Toji and Shinji to their lockers, and the two ladies to thiers. In the locker room, Toji decided to ask Shinji something. "Shinji?" "Yes?" "I need to ask you, what was it like, I mean did you feel anything. You were out for almost 2 weeks, like I was that first time. I was just curious, if you don't want to answer me I understand." "Well," Shinji responded, pausing in his disrobing, "It was strange, at least from other times I have been rendered unconscious by my actions. It was actually kinda comforting, a gentle warmth was always there, and fleeting impressions of fear and concern, along with worry and joy." "Hmmm. That is odd. I will tell you, I'm not real enthusiastic about this test. I guess you could say I'm scared of it." "Why? Unit 01 is no different from the other EVA's really." "Try looking at that from someone else's view. You have done things in that Unit that Rei and Asuka couldn't even come close to doing. You were absorbed into it and cam back. Survived for over 16 hours, when you should have only had power for 14. There is something different, weather it's you, the EVA, or a bit of both, I'm not sure. But I ....." "That is a good point, I never thought of from that point of view. But just remember this, keep your mind open, the EVA are not just machines, but they will not help if you keep your mind and heart closed." "I'll try and remember that, as strange as it sounds." "Trust me, Toji. If you are able to synch today, it won't sound any stranger than anything else I say." "But you've said some strange things in your day, remember that." Both of them laughed a bit at that, and finished putting on their plug suits. Toji, with his deep blue and purple suit, with the number 03 in white emblazoned on it, even though unit 03 was no more, at least for now. And Shinji, in his blue and white suit, with the black number 01 on it. As they activated the fit adjusters, they both exited the locker room and walked towards the control room, where Ritsuko, Misato, Rei, Asuka and the Vice Commander were waiting for them. Meanwhile, over in the Girls locker room, things were a bit different. Rei had, as born of repetitious practice, disrobed and donned her suit, all white, with 00 on it, and adjust it to her body. Asuka had disrobed to her skivvies, opened her locker, and froze, almost turning as white as Rei's plug suit. Before her was her suit, red, with the 02 proudly displayed. Asuka was frozen at the mere sight of her suit, unable to move, as her mind, in a masterful type of mockery, replayed the entire ordeal she had endured the last time she had the suit on. Her lip started to tremble, and she began to feel weak in the legs, she didn't know how she stayed standing. Her hand had a death grip on the locker door, the other hand frozen at her side. Rei had already left the locker room, headed for the lab room, where everyone was waiting. She considered just getting dressed again and not suiting up. She didn't know if she could take it, and this was just the suit, to say nothing of getting back inside her EVA. Her eyes were beginning to dry up, she was so scared that she wasn't even blinking, and she could tell her heart rate had jumped, and she was breathing shallow and fast. She was trying to think, what to do, what to do. She closed her eyes, turned her head, and slowly reached out with her hand, grasping her suit with it, trying to stave off the fear in her mind. It's just cloth, it's just a suit, not an angel. Nothing to fear. She proceeded to, rather clumsily, don her suit. She refused to open her eyes until she had completely put the suit on, and hit the adjuster. Once she had, she let out a long sigh, sat on the bench, and just sat there for several minutes. Trying to catch her breath, as well as recompose herself, although she knew she was changing, emotionally speaking, she wasn't ready to show that she had been frightened to ghostly white by the sight of her plug suit alone. She finished placing her belongings in the locker, and left the room for the control room. As she entered the control room, everyone turned and acknowledged her. "Asuka, welcome. You aren't scheduled for any tests today, why do you have your plug suit on." asked Ritsuko "I guess old habits die hard." She replied "Very good Asuka, I didn't expect you to be able to get back into your suit yet. I'm proud of you, I know what it must have been like." Shinji whispered to Asuka "Okay troops," Misato announced, as cheerful as ever, "Today were are going to try to synch Toji to Unit 01, and possibly try and get Rei to do the same for testing purposes, alright" "Hai!" All four teens responded. At that, Toji and a technician left the room to head to the loading area, and the rest of the group took their seats in the control room. Shinji sat next to Asuka, at a terminal which allowed him to speak to Toji as the test progressed. As the diagnostics were run on the equipment, the control nerve status board flashed all clear, testing the bulbs on the 800 some odd control nerves that were actively monitored, including the critical point barrier, the point which must be crossed for activation to occur. Ritsuko watched as the board ran through and tested each bulb, and than double checked the other equipment. Outside, in the cage itself, Toji had entered the entry plug, and was being maneuvered into position. All his bio monitors reported in the green, and the entry plug was inserted, locked in, and filled with LCL. Initial checks were performed, and the okay was given for final connect, the beginning of activation attempt. Everyone save the other children had their fingers crossed. As the tech punched in the command into the terminal, the strangeness began. Normally, the nerve board would progress up to around 500 connects, sequentially, indicating that things were progressing, then as the critical point was neared, the connects would slow in pace, and then, if successful in passing critical point, the board would finish lighting up. However, only the first 50 control nerves lit up. Nowhere near the critical point, or even remotely near anything. All that connected were the feedback nerves which allowed for communication and bio monitoring. Then the medical technician noticed that Toji's vital signs were changing. He was breathing faster, pulse was up, blood pressure as well. On the screen, one could see that Toji looked like he was fighting something, something inside. "Leave my mind alone!" Toji yelled, to only those ears that would hear. "Pilot status approaching fail point, recommend pilot eject" Said the medical tech. "No, don't" The statement came from an unlikely source. Shinji. "Make it stop, please. Arghhhhhhh!" Toji wailed "Eject the plug" Ritsuko ordered. "Eject system not responding. Signal is being blocked prior to terminator relay" "Toji, listen." Shinji spoke to his friend, who was in pain, from what Shinji knew, nut the other s didn't. Asuka had closed her eyes and turned away at the first scream, hiding her own fears from everyone, and trying to hide them from herself as well. "Shinji, make it stop, please. It's, it's, I don't know what it's doing to me" "Remember what I said earlier, you have to trust me on this Toji." "Do you have any idea what it's doing to me? Do you know the pain?" "Yes, I do. You must endure it and open your mind, or you will never succeed" "Easy for you to say, you're not in this thing." Gradually, Toji attempted to push away the fear and the pain, and 'open' his mind to whatever or whoever was doing this. Something was sifting through his mind, asking questions, looking at the past, the present, the outlook of the future. It looked at his memories, his fears, his pride, his strength. It analyzed his morals, his own code of conduct. As he tried to open himself, the pain subsided, but the fear did not. He wanted to shut it out, make it stop. Shut off the pain, get out of the plug, he wanted to, but something else made him want to stay. If Shinji thought it would be dangerous, he would have said no, right, it reasoned. If he is your friend, he would not knowingly place you into real danger, it continued. Toji found it hard to rationalize against that point. He had grown to consider Shinji a close friend. He sat back and tried to relax, in as much as he could, with his entire soul bared open to whatever it was that was in here with him. Then as suddenly as it had started, it stopped. It felt as if whatever had been tormenting him had stopped, and he somehow sensed that it approved of what it found, how he knew this he did not know, but the felt like it was the truth. As he relaxed more, the slight crisis over, he felt a warmth, a comforting warmth like he had not felt in years. It had approved and accepted him. He felt tired, and sleepy. In the control room, things were not going well. After double and triple checking the equipment, and consulting with the MAGI, they were no closer. What was going on. Did Shinji know this would happen, if he did how could he do that to a friend. Or had he snapped completely. After his brief exchange with Toji, Shinji had gone over to comfort Asuka, who was trembling and shuddering at the few screams of agony. The medical technician was giving updates every 30 seconds, as the rest of the staff were trying to find a solution. The external eject controls were no good, the tech who tried was repelled, by a low power AT field, which was baffling itself, since there was no pilot in it. The nerve board was still showing only the 50 control nerves it had started with. Misato was approaching near panic, with Ritsuko not far behind, but a bit more in control of herself. The Vice Commander watched, gathering from the surroundings that things were not good, but the fact that Shinji was not doing anything unusual, that things would work out. He hated knowing that pain must be endured, but knew that it was small, relatively speaking. Then, as fast as the crisis started, the medical station reported that vitals had resumed normal baseline numbers, like nothing had happened at all. As every one stopped what they were doing at this development, Ritsuko glanced at the EVA through the window, and turned to the nerve status board. All at once, the records checked later to verify, all but the last 50 nerves lit up at the same time. Not the sequential building to activate, but the instantaneous and immediate confirmation that the EVA had successfully activated. That in itself was odd. But added to that was that all indications were that Toji was alive and well, and the EVA had activated. "What just happened?" Ritsuko inquired out loud. "All systems check, interlinks and control nerves responding, the Unit is active" Replied a lab tech. "Shinji, what happened, and please tell me the truth." Ritsuko inquired. Shinji continued to hold Asuka, till she was alright and not quivering in fear anymore. He turned to the doctor, still holding Asuka close, comforting her. "The EVA merely checked to see that what was in the pilot's position was a real person, and looked into that person to see if they were worthy, and how well to respond to him or her." "Is this going to happen every time someone ties to pilot the Unit?" "No, only the first time with each person. I have endured it, Toji has to now. Rei will experience it when and if you have her pilot it again. Asuka will also go through it, in her unit eventually, as well as if you put her into Unit 01." Shinji replied. "Shinji." Toji said over the comm system "I take it back, you were right, and it isn't strange, at least now it doesn't seem so." They could hear that he was still somewhat out of breath, and slightly tired from the ordeal. "You told him this would happen!?" Misato and Ritsuko said at the same time. "I told him he needed to keep his mind and heart open in order to succeed, that all." Ritsuko rubbed her temples, this was going to be a long afternoon. "Alright then," She said, "Extract pilot, and prepare to reset the test for Rei." The techs began their scramble to comply, taking Toji out of the Eva, and resetting the systems to go again. Toji re entered the control room, none the worse for wear, and promptly collapsed into a padded chair, sitting there and just staring into space, collecting his thoughts on what he had just endured. It was strange, at least it had seemed that way. The more he fought was had been happening, the more pain he felt, but also the more he felt like that whatever was doing it didn't want to hurt him. When he had finally opened up, and let it happen, it wasn't that bad. Except for the bearing of everything he was to whatever it was that did it. It was comfortable though, like a warm blanket, and a soft touch. Toji just sat there and enjoyed it, and now enjoyed the fact that it was over. He basically just zoned out during Rei upcoming test, too much to think about. "Prepare for test" Ritsuko announced to the techs. "All systems report ready, maam" "Shinji," Ritsuko paused, "Will Rei experience the same thing in there?" "I would imagine so, but I think she will deal with it a bit better, why I don't know though" "Alright, did you hear that Rei?" Ritsuko spoke into the mic. "Hai." Rei responded "Alright then, commence test" Once more, as with Toji, the systems were activated and only the first set of control links activated. However, Rei, being who and what she was offered little or no resistance to the EVA. The vitals almost never even twitched. She sat there and let it happen. She had been expecting something like this, but not how it felt. It was warm, comfortable. She felt truly safe, despite the EVA sifting through her mind. It had paused, and waited for a few moments, unsure of itself. It posed a question to Rei's mind, and looked at a slightly different set of information. It was appalled. Not at Rei, she had had no choice, but the one who did this would feel it's wrath at this outrage. Rei just sat there, enjoying the warmth and comfort, the feeling of safety, and something else, she couldn't place it, but it definitely felt good. "Test is progressing normally" A technician proclaimed "Shinji," Asuka whispered, now a bit more composed "Is the Eva really doing anything to her, she seems quite content and unaffected by it?" "I think that's due to Rei herself. Something about her is different, but she does not try and hide things from the EVA's , she never has. It is just how she is I guess." Shinji whispered back, not expecting what was going to happen next. All at once, the control board lit up, to a level slightly less than Toji. But the eyes of the unit had flared brightly, the mouth cracked open, revealing the teeth of the unit. A blood curdling roar could be heard, even through the near soundproof glass. Everyone was too shocked to move, let alone think. The EVA's head turned away from the glass and looked into a corner of the ceiling, almost as if something had really upset it and it was there. But there was nothing there. "What happened, status reports, now!" Ritsuko yelled. "Systems report normal, pilot life signs normal, EEG normal. The pilot isn't doing this, whatever this is." "Shinji, what is it doing?" Misato asked. "I don't know. It was looking at Rei, and apparently something it found pissed it off to some extent." He responded. "Is Rei in any danger?" "I don't think so, but whoever upset the EVA, they probably won't like it" Across the base, in his office, Gendo sat reading his reports and observing his personnel. His office happened to be diagonally above the test cage. It was here the EVA was looking. Looking at the man who continued to use and abuse people, even after they had died. Gendo was calmly sitting at his desk when it hit him. A wave of pure terror and anger directed at the very core of his being. He froze, dropping his report, and clutching his chest with both hands. He had never felt this type of anger, or resentment. Something was very upset at him, and was letting him know. Lashing out at him with as much anger as it could, to bring him to the edge of injury, while giving him a taste of what he had put other through. Then it ended. As suddenly as it had come, it left. Gendo was breathing heavy, scared for the first time since a young boy. He sat there, hands still at his chest, rationality gone out the window, he just sat there "What is the EVA doing, and what is it doing to Rei?" Ritsuko asked, for the third time. "Unknown, EVA has cut off all higher functions, but pilot appears to be unharmed." True enough, for on the monitor, Rei was blissfully napping, inside the plug, unaware of what was happening. She decided to take a nap in this serene, safe environment. So different from her own Unit, and also different from the last time she used this one. She was confused, she had never felt this way before, yet it seemed so natural, like she should know it, and what it meant. She just peacefully slept, with a smile, a real smile spread across her face. Back in the land of the living, all heck was breaking loose. The EVA was still staring at nothing, or so it seemed. Then, the head returned to it's normal position, and the mouth closed, resealing itself. The eyes returned to normal, and all was as it should have been all along. Whatever it did, it had finished, for now. Ritsuko meanwhile had brought up a layout of the base on her screen and was trying to find what the EVA was looking at. There were several cable trunks, a few lifts and Gendo's office. Oh crud, she thought. That is what it was doing. She decided not to tell anyone else, and just pray for the best. "Ma'am, systems returning to normal, all green across the board." "Very well, extract pilot and prepare for shutdown." Ritsuko responded, being yanked back into the real world. "Acknowledged, extracting.... Wait, system refuses to acknowledge request for entry plug release." "Try manual override." "Attempting..........No good. Plug remains in Unit 01." The tech was as baffled as everyone All eyes in the room turned to Shinji. "Why won't the EVA respond and let Rei go, Shinji?" "I don't know. Perhaps it will let her go when she wakes up. I am not the omnipotent master, just the pilot. I know some of the reasons why it does what it does, but I do not know all of them." He responded defensively. "But that doesn't answer my question Shinji, this is all not going according to plan" Ritsuko was getting impatient "Doctor" Fuyutsuki interrupted, "I suggest that Shinji is correct, and that we trust him and Unit 01. I believe Rei will be fine, just let her rest for now." "Very well then. Resume analysis. Shinji, Asuka, Toji, you are done for the day. You can go home if you want." The children all stood and left the control room. On her way out the door, Asuka couldn't help but look back over her shoulder, at the monitors, at the view of a sleeping Rei, with a grin on her face. That was not like Rei, and it worried Asuka to an extent. Back in her locker room, she managed to hang up her suit without incident. As she hung it back in the locker, her mind did a rewind on her remembered when she and Shinji first met, while they were delivering her Eva to Nerv. How she made him get in the plug with her, wearing her backup suit, which at the time, she gave him to embarrass him. Now looking back on it, she giggled a bit, he had looked kinda silly, and kinda cute at the same time. She had purposely left the language interface in German, just to show off and have something to yell at him about. That was an interesting day. She remembered all that she had done, stupidly, mostly in an effort to show off. And in the end, it was Shinji who provided the extra strength that she needed to avoid death. She still hadn't dealt with that either, one part of her upset that he had shown her up, almost from the beginning. Another part of her said so what, he had battle experience, I didn't, if he did that to save me and him that was his call. Would we still be here if he had done nothing, it asked. The old Asuka would almost never think in that way, but overall, she was lad the old her was leaving, for the new her held so much promise. She finished dressing, and left to catch up to Shinji and go home. What will happen to Rei? What about Gendo? What will become of Asuka, and will another angel strike before they are ready? Why does Microsoft get away with murder? These questions (well some of them anyway) may be answered in the next chapter. Izcer4 Izcer4@rocketmail.com From: Izcer4@rocketmail.com (Izcer4) Subject: [EVA][FanFic] Repost: Power Of Pain Alternate Part 5 Here is part 5 of my fic, standard disclaimer and nonsense here Evangelion is copyrighted by Gainax and others Evangelion: Power of Pain Alternate Part 5 by Izcer4 Over in the boy's locker room, things were a bit different. Shinji had changed out of his suit, and was getting ready to leave, when Toji stopped him, having just exited the showers, and needed to ask him something which had been on his mind ever since he had exited the EVA. "Shinji can I ask you something?" "Yeah, what?" Shinji responded "Did you know that the EVA was going to do that to me?" "Not exactly, no" "What do you mean, not exactly?!?!" "I knew it would do something, but I didn't know what it would be." Shinji responded, anticipating the following question. "So you let me go in there, not knowing what it would do to me, or if I would even come back out. Thanks a bunch." "No, I didn't want you to try from the beginning, the EVA asked me to have them try it. I know what it is capable, the pain you must have gone through, but it was out of my hands." "What do mean, it asked you to do it? That makes no sense." "Actually it does, but the explanation is best left for another day, I don't know if you could take it. The test took a lot out of you." "How would know what it took out of me?" "Let me ask you this, and please tell the truth, what did it fell like? What did you experience?" This Toji stood back for a second. He wasn't sure himself, which was partially why he was asking. Baring the truth wasn't something he normally did, but he somehow knew, and felt, that this time it would be the best course. "It was strange, like nothing I have never experienced before. It was like something was looking at me, who I was, who I had been, what I thought I would be. It looked through my memories, like it was judging them. All of them. At first it hurt, like the more I resisted the harder it tried to look. When I relaxed, I was overcome. It got warm, not hot, but comfortably warm. I felt at peace, like when I was young being held by my mother. It lessened how hard it looked. I think it was judging me, at least that was an impression I got. Looking at my memories, my fears, my hopes, my desires. Things I keep hidden from others, some of them even from myself. I don't know when, but it finally stopped, I swear I could 'feel' it leave my mind. That probably sounds like I'm crazy, but to be honest, I'm sure if I am or not." "You're not crazy, but how did it feel when you were done, what did you sense from the EVA?" "I guess I would say I felt 'accepted' at least that's the best I can do, what does it mean?" "It means that Unit 01 accepts you, and approves of you and your abilities. The rest of the explanation can wait. Why don't you go visit your sister before going home. It make you feel a bit better." "I will, thanks Shinji. I guess I don't understand everything I need to yet." "It will get easier, that much I know. See ya." Shinji left the locker room, and went to meet Asuka and walk home with her. He liked where the relationship was going, even if he didn't understand everything he was feeling. Toji sat down by his locker and just looked at his spare suit. His mind was miles away, comparing the only two instances he had been in a working EVA, trying to draw something from them. The first one was almost nothing, he was able to see, and hear, but not act. This was fine, a bit unsettling as he saw the thing destroy homes, and seriously injure Rei and Asuka. But when he had to sit there, as Unit 01 ripped him apart, as he felt the pain through the feedbacks, as his Unit was ripped asunder. Seeing everything go off, and then being crushed into unconsciousness. Waking up in the infirmary, seeing Shinji of all people unconscious next to him. He found out why later, and still didn't hold anything against him. It was beyond his control what was done. And then today, he was placed inside the only Unit to consistently out perform the others, do things it shouldn't be able to. And endured pain, a pain he couldn't distance himself from, a direct look at his soul. Being able to hide nothing, despite trying. He smirked, remembering how he tried to hide the memories of the ogling attempts he, and Aida, had made towards Misato. He couldn't hide them either, yet whatever was doing it to him, seemed to look at them, give his mind an inquisitive glare, and pass over the other times he tried to hide those ecchi tendencies, as if it understood what a teenage male went through, and what the tendencies were, and sort of accepted them. But when he stopped fighting it, it did get comfortable. He felt secure, safe, like a young child in the protective arms of it's mother. It didn't make sense. He knew the EVA were more than just machines, but not much beyond that. As the clock struck the tones of the hour, he snapped back into reality, and finished dressing. He then left to visit his sister, talking to her, even though she was unconscious, always made him feel better. Shinji met up with Asuka, and together they made their way towards home, hold hands and just chatting as they walked. Both of them happy, knowing this was going a bit fast, but also not knowing exactly what they were feeling. They knew Misato would tease them about it, but she hadn't as of yet. Asuka reflected that her infatuation with Kaji had been in all likelihood a case of puppylove. He did after all know how to impress a woman, and keep them infatuated with him. This was different. She enjoyed being near Shinji, it made her feel comfortable, and good about herself. She liked that he was telling her the truth, not hiding it, even it was hard for her to hear. It was difficult for her to forget about her ego, but the longer she was with him, the easier it got. She found it refreshing, and nice to feel like she didn't have to better than everyone else, and could just be herself. She giggled, bringing a bemused look from her companion, as she reflected that she hadn't called him any names in a week, let alone insulting him in German, which she normally did. It felt good to lose herself in what her heart was telling her, and to ignore her ego. She had privately moved her bed mat a few inches closer to Shinji's. Without telling him of course, for fear of what he might say. She hoped that whatever was happening between the two of them, that it would not end for a very long time. And also that he felt the same way. Rei, meanwhile, was having a good dream. A real dream, not just fuzzy feelings of pain and hardship that she usually had, but a real, good dream. She was content, something she was not normally aware of, or even what it meant. Eva was urging her to open her heart, to explore that which the Commander said was not needed. It had expanded her view of things, urged to try and live, really live, experience pain, emotional pain, as well as the joys of friendship and being alive. Things and concept which had been alien to her were being explained, and she found them curious, and believed she 'wanted' to explore them and there meaning. She felt safe, as she had never felt before. It felt familiar, and strange, all at once. It was like she should know that which she was feeling, but couldn't place why, or where. She remembered when Shinji had visited her, when she came out of the shower, at the time it seemed strange to her that he reacted the way he did. She looked back on it, and applied what she had learned from the Eva, and suddenly felt something, embarrassment, at what had happened. But also something else, specific to that event, something had felt good, weather it was that Shinji was concerned for her, or the physical touch he had at the time, she didn't know. She started going over other instances in her mind, applying what she now knew to them, and enjoying the new meanings in them. She could sense that she would like this new view she could see the world through, as she slept soundly in the LCL filled plug. She kept on smiling, and she truly and genuinely liked it. In the lab control room, everyone had left except for Ritsuko and Fuyutsuki. They stayed and continued to monitor Rei, and discuss what had happened. "She looks so content in there, that smile is something that I have not seen on her face in all the time I have known her" Fuyutsuki commented "Yes, it is odd as well. I detected no abnormalities or disruptions of any kind in her or the Eva, apart from it's outburst. I think that Eva knows who and what she is, and yet still accepts her." "Eva is first and foremost like a mother, I believe that she knows that Rei had no say in who she was, or what she was, therefore can't hold it against her." "But there is someone the Eva can hold responsible. I figured out where the Eva was looking earlier. It was..." "The Commander's office, I know" Fuyutsuki completed her sentence for her. " I was wondering if this would happen, and it has. What ever effect it had on Ikari, apparently he still lives, no alarms went off." "But if it desired him dead, it could kill him and ensure the alarms never sounded, just for the sake of argument" "True, but given what Eva now knows of his actions, I think it would rather instill fear into him, than outright kill him. To keep him alive, but in a state he cannot deal with is a true definition of torture." "I see your point. At least we know that Rei and Toji can pilot Unit 01 should anything happen before Shinji and Asuka are back on active duty." The monitors began to flicker, as the two adults watched, Rei slowly opened her eyes and woke back up from her nap. Even through the monitor screen, one could tell something had changed about her. "Rei, are you alright?" Ritsuko asked. "Hai, I've have not felt better, I will be out in a moment" She responded If one didn't know any better, they would swear there was something different to her voice, it wasn't monotone and lifeless, but could be dismissed as differences in distance from her audio pickup. "That's good to hear, we will shutdown and wait for you in here" "Okay" She responded. Feeling something different, a warmth, from not the Eva but her, it felt like it was coming from her heart, but that was ridiculous, she told herself as she shutdown the entryplug on her end and waited for the ejection to start. Up in Gendo's office, the good Commander finally settled down from his earlier episode, to a level where he could begin to track it down. After searching the daily roster, and approved planned activities, he began to go down the list, contemplating each entry. After going through the list twice without any results, and see that the recorders reported no unauthorized people anywhere near his office for the entire day he began to think. The possibility that the Doctor and Fuyutsuki were correct in their statement regarding the Eva were hearsay. The pilot for Unit 01 didn't know anything, he couldn't. The secrets of the Eva were his and his alone, no one else knew the truth, and no one else ever would. Some distant part of him considered that, and as his eyes gazed down the list of activities for the day, they just happened to stop at a certain item. It was the re-testing for cross pilot compatibility for Rei and Toji. This distant part of him suddenly hammered into the real world what had happened, and his Eyes flew open. He quickly called up the monitor logs and watched them in their entirety. He watched the replay of both experiments intently, and when he saw the one with Rei, a part of him almost died. The Eva knew, somehow it knew. It had looked at Rei, determined he was at fault, and let him know about it. If the Eva knew, then hat else had happened, for Rei could be seen sleeping in the plug, with a smile on her face no less. He considered his options, and decided to take action the next day. Rei exited the plug and made her way to the control room, still feeling like something was out of place, yet at the same time never feeling better. She sat through the short de-briefing they held, amidst strange look from Ritsuko and the Vice Commander. One or twice she would have giggled, but she pushed it back down, the small part of her old self there fearful of what the strange sensation ha been. After being dismissed, she made her way towards the locker room to change. As she approached the locker room, she did something she never had done before, she began to hum. It surprised even herself. It felt so familiar, yet she didn't know from where, or how she even earned. Her conscious mind sitting on the side lines as two parts of her battled, trying to merge into one being, but each vying for supremacy. She hummed all while changing, she felt good, yet a part of her was afraid, not understanding it. When she finished changing, she went to wash her face once more. As she stood there, she glanced in the mirror and stopped. The face belonged to her, but is was different from anything she had ever seen, as if a stranger was looking back at her. Her skin, although still pale, was nowhere near the almost white it normally was. She could see a pinkish glow to it, still pale, but much more, more human. She smiled, and that feeling of contentment, and unknown warmth seemed to fill her once more. This felt good, and she decided to explore it, but not now. It was a start, she had accepted part of how she was changing, and a small, but growing part of her waited to see what else had changed. As she left for home, she could be seen walking the halls with a hand at her cheek, and an unusual smile on her face. As Shinji and Asuka almost reached the entrance to the top side of the city, they found Misato waiting for them. On her insistence, she drove them all home, stopping at the corner store, not saying why. Only saying they had a surprise waiting at home, but failed to elaborate. Shinji had sort of rolled his eyes at that, knowing what that usually entailed. Asuka had not yet experienced one of Misato's surprises, so wondered why he had done what he did. When they reached the apartment, they all entered, each carrying a bag. When they reached the kitchen, a most unusual sight met their eyes, at least those of the two teens. The on fridge had been emptied of it's beer, and all the cans were sitting on the counter by the sink, all still full. Misato took the bags from the two, and proceeded to put the food away. The two teens just stood there, not knowing what to think. Finally one of them spoke up. "Misato, what's going on, and why is your beer all on the counter?" Asuka asked. "That's the surprise I mentioned to you." She replied. "But, but Misato, neither Asuka or myself are old enough to drink." Asuka sort of paled at this, understanding what she thought Shinji meant. "Silly" Misato laughed "It not for you to drink. I'm not that irresponsible." "Then what is it all doing out then?" Both teens asked, almost in unison. "Well come over then, and I will explain," Misato responded, closing the fridge. The two teens, stunned a bit, crossed over to the sink "Okay, there's four steps involved" Misato continued "Step one, take a can," she said grabbing a can from the counter, "Step two, open" she opened the can, the smell of the beer making her pause mid sentence for a moment. "Ano, Misato..." Shinji saw the look on Misato's face, one which revealed how torn she was over something, and also the determination to finish what she had started. "Step three," She continued, and tipped the can, pouring the contents into the sink, down the drain, "Invert the can and hold till....till empty" she tipped the can right side up when it had drained. "Step four, discard empty container" She tossed the can into the large trash bags the kids had failed to notice when they entered. Shinji and Asuka both looked at Misato intently, her eyes closed, lips tightly closed, listening to her breathe, the pained breaths of one giving up on a crutch, although a part of them wasn't ready to yet. They watched, as her trembling hand reached for another can, tears beginning to form at the corners of her eyes. Seeing this, and the resolve, despite the pain, nodded to each other. Misato was close to breaking down. This morning she had taken every can of beer from the fridge and put them where they stood now, almost losing herself to the familiar feeling of the cold can in her hand, wanting to break it open and chug, like she had done for so long. Hide her past, her feelings, all her pain in the alcohol. She had to stop three times that morning, each time pausing for a while, to try and resist the urge, the faces of the children running through her mind. Shinji unconscious in the infirmary, Asuka breaking down I her arms crying, the serene look on her face that day she finally visited Shinji. The look on her face earlier today when Toji had cried out. The only thing keeping her rooted in her tracks, away from the desire to take the easy way out, was the looks on the faces of these kids. The pain they endured, and all the times she had hid herself from the world, and humiliated herself in front of them. How she had longed to just drink and forget, let it all numb itself away, that she might function normally once more. She was rooted from her pain and fears by the sound of two cans being opened. Opening her eyes, she saw the two teens, each with a can in hand looking at her. Asuka spoke to her "You did forget on final step though, Misato" She grinned "REPEAT" both teens shouted in unison, and they turned their cans over and let them empty into the sink. Misato was astounded. In that one simple gesture, that part of her still rooted to the past, the part of her that hid in darkness, and continued to urge her to just take a sip, that it wouldn't hurt. That small part of her was instantly obliterated from her soul by the shout of the two teens before her. She began to cry, but not tears of sorrow, for she now knew without a doubt, that this was the right choice, and that together, the three of them would somehow overcome any problems. She grinned, and joined the two teens and deftly popped another can, and proceeded to empty it. The threesome continued emptying the beer into the sink for about 15 minutes. Shinji had the honor of the last can, but only because he got it first. But instead of opening it and dumping it out, he took it to the fridge, opened the door, and put the can back in the door. "Shinji, what are you doing? I wanted to dump it all for a reason" Misato asked "I know, and the reason is good, but so is mine for my actions" Shinji responded getting the usual I can't wait for the explanation for this one look from the ladies. "Well, explain then" "I see this single can as a reminder for all of us. Of the choice you made, and the determination on your part to go through with it. I know you liked to drink, and have a small idea of what it must have took for you to make this choice. But I guess I think that if you ever feel weak, and wonder why you did it, looking at this single can, in a place where many once were might help. Besides, there may be a time when you could use one for celebrating reasons." "Shinji," Misato started, "I appreciate the effort, but I know myself better tan you do. If I have even one, the process would begin anew. My determination to do what I did isn't from some esoteric means, or influence from others. Just as you have endured pain to do what you do, I have escaped from it, dodged it, cheated it. Every chance I had I drowned myself with it till I was numb, as the past didn't hurt anymore, and I forgot what was important. When I need confirmation that my choice was the right one, I need only to do what I did this morning when I took the beer out of the fridge. I have the two reasons for my choice right in front of me, and they are all I ever need to justify my action." With that, she deftly took the last can from the fridge, and dumped it, completing what she set out to do. It was the easiest step to take, the others would be harder, and she knew, more painful than this one. But it had to be done, for her sake and the sake of others. "Enough of this self pity, I'm starving, let's make dinner already, okay?" Asuka asked, wanting to lighten mood, she had had enough gloominess for one day. Dinner passed smoothly enough, and soon all were ready to turn in for the evening, PenPen had gone to sleep, Misato was in the bath and the two teens were laying out their bed mats when Shinji stopped Asuka. "Asuka?" "Hai, what is it Shinji? "We need to talk about something, and try and get you started on what you need to learn." "Can it wait till morning, I am really tired." "No, it can't. I don't know why, but I need to try and teach you this tonight." "Alright, what do I do?" Shinji proceed to have her sit, with her legs crossed of her bed roll, and he assumed a similar position opposite her. "I feel stupid Shinji, this had better be for real" Asuka said "It is. What you need to do is close your eyes, relax and try and feel for the presence of me from across the space between us" "What, that empty place we talked in before?" "Yes, you need to develop the ability to feel another presence if anything is going to work." Asuka sighed, but closed her eyes. She tried to relax and just forget everything going on around her. The sounds were easy, and they faded away rather quickly, but the other thoughts were a bit harder to dismiss. Her legs were starting to complain about being in the position that they were, her shoulder ached a bit, as well as the myriad of other things going on. A small remnant of her old self even tried to reassert it's hold with the classic you're sitting her in nothing but your bed clothes across from a teenage boy with your eyes closed, where's your modesty. She let out a audible giggle, and outwardly blushed slightly. She trusted Shinji, and took a deep breath, and tried again to let go of her self, and be calm. And it worked. In her own success she almost lost the state she had reached, but caught herself. She was there, but not there, it felt, well it felt pink. As if colors had a feel to them. As she continued to relax and probe this peaceful state, she became aware of her own heartbeat, and breathing sounds, but they sounded out of step. Is was as if the was something else there, and when she 'looked' a bit deeper, she felt the tingling. A tingling on the edge of her mind, of her senses, a sort of blueish feeling, and she reached for it, trying to grasp it, thinking it was her goal. Once Asuka had closed her eyes, Shinji sat and did the same, relaxing and letting go of himself, the float within his own mind. He knew part of this was a selfish act, part not. Asuka needed to learn to reach mentally, or everything else would that much harder. But he was also doing it for himself, the nightmares had returned. Without that 'presence' of his mothers mind, he had started to lose much sleep, fearing the night more than the day. His own mental range was not large enough yet to touch his mother's from this great a distance, but if Asuka could learn how to reach out, he could help her as he helped himself. He could feel Asuka releasing herself, trying to ignore the distractions. He fought an internal battle, part of him wanting to help her by doing the rest himself, that was the selfish part of him. The rest of him wished to let her try and get closer, as she was getting there. He could feel her mental touch at the edge of his consciousness, and en though the presence was not his mother's, is sent a calming wave through him. He knew Asuka had moved her bed roll closer to his, but did not mind. Getting her to trust him and be comfortable was more important. She was sleeping soundly, and most of her transient fears allayed for now, she was ready for this step. He planned on expanding her understanding for the few days and nights, teaching her what she would need to be able to climb back into her EVA. A small cold wave passed through him at that, would she accept it? Could she handle the truth that would be revealed when she truly reached and touched the mind of her Eva, the mind of her mother. The regeneration of the EVA could be turned on so to speak without needing to deep a touch from her, but Shinji knew that Asuka would have serious self doubt problems when she climbed back into that entry plug for the first time. But that was later not now he reminded himself, and sat back and waited for Asuka to make the final push, and touch his mind directly. Asuka was getting more accustomed to this mental swimming by a minute. She was about to try and touch the other presence she felt, but sensed a wave of coldness that suddenly came up and passed, so she waited, thinking. She mentally giggled, and tried again, reaching with her mind to what she knew to be Shinji. It was like pushing a finger through a sheet of plastic wrap, a sort of resistance was there, but once she pushed hard enough, it opened to her, and her mind once again mixed with his, on that strange void of mental landscape. She could feel that Shinji had not reached out on his own, although he wanted to, and she got a glimmer of hwy he insisted she try this out, and decided she couldn't blame him. She spent what 'felt' like a few minutes interweaved with his mind, enjoying the warmth and looking at the turbulence of her own self, and that of Shinji's seeing what he had meant y the many hurdles. From the relative safety of her mental self, she could see the dark turbulent part of her that still existed, churning and twisting and bubbling like a pot of boiling water. That was the darkness and despair hat she had still to face, in the bottomless pit of her own self. She felt Shinji close off that view, and thanked him, as if she knew if she continued to look, she would sucked into it once more. She decided to end the session, and in her own michievious way, mentally flirted with Shinji for a second, and confirmed that her knight who saved her was human, and male as she giggled her way out of the mix, and went to sleep, in a sound happy slumber. Shinji was mentally paled, he had watched Asuka enter the void, and explore a bit, gaining a sense of what it was and how to control herself in it. He watched her look at not only his,. but her turbulent self and he had closed off the view before it could affect her. He noted that a sense of calm had fallen over him, not the same as when he was near his mother, but a calm none the less. Chalking it up to something all women just have, he continued his review, hearing her giggle before she entered his mind, as well as the slight retreat she had made. Since he himself was new to this, he had no idea how much could be sensed by another, so maybe Asuka could learn this facet as quickly as she could learn in school. But nothing had prepared him for what she did before leaving. The thoughts, images and impressions she sent him were locked up, some part of him analyzing them, not letting hit the surface, but he had gone ram rod straight and pale, even in reality, his body had stiffened a bit. He came out his stupor, to a giggling, smiling retreating Asuka as she had left his mind. He himself allowed himself to exit the mental landscape, and when he opened his eyes, Asuka was already asleep, with a rally big grin on her face. He wondered just what she had done and why, reminding himself from some small corner, that she smarter than she looked, but ignored it, and went to bed himself. Closing his eyes, and welcoming sleep, not fearing what he night would bring, the way was open, and although it was of a different type, he felt at peace. There is part 5, enjoy Izcer4 Izcer4@rocketmail.com From: Izcer4@rocketmail.com (Izcer4) Subject: [EVA][FanFic] Power of Pain 6 Alternate Here is part 6 of my story. I know it is short (compared to the other sections), but I felt I should post as is, and keep plugging away at it. Comments welcome, flames are sent to the depths of Valhalla for all time The original Power of Pain was written by Corey Holmes and this continuation was done with his knowledge Evangelion is copyrighted by Gainax and others Evangelion: Power of Pain Alternate Part 6 By Izcer4 In A Late Meeting of the SEELE Council: "So, it has begun, I only hope this time works better than the last" "Our first report from Beta source has been received, and is being looked at against the secondary reports from Gamma and Delta sources." "And?" "Currently, 95% of Betas' report has been verified as correct, they are still reviewing the final sections now." "And what of Alpha, is he performing as anticipated?" "Yes, he made the predicted moves, and was counter blocked in them." "Was there anything of note in Beta's file?" "Several things. It appears that one and four are still fully usable, with only minor decrease in end result from three. It also appears that one of our aimed projects is already 10 days ahead of schedule, and is proceeding well." "And the status of the Units?" "Unit 01 is battle cleared, currently in the testing lab, for cross test purposes. Unit 00 is also cleared, and waiting in the staging are, along with Unit 02. Unit 03 remains have been assembled in the heavy cage, and the S2 appears to have repaired itself, and only awaits final completion, and hosting." "Very well, all appears to be in accordance." "Two notes, however. Apparently Unit 01 has discovered the nature of one, and lashed at Alpha with a sense of vengeance." "He deserved it. And the other?" "It appears that Unit 01 has altered one in some manner. We have requested a slightly increased watch, to determine any ill side effects." "I see, that could upset the HIP." "Beta believes it will only vindicate earlier views, and prove the HIP to be unneeded. This remains to be seen, but I believe the alterations made will enhance current product, an theory division speculates the same, adding a possible increase in Unit 00 effectiveness." "Very well, given the high percentage of accuracy, in the short time source has been active, as a gesture of faith I move to open allocations for continued advancement of Unit 03 completion." "I second the motion, adding that we have still to face target 16, and the original scenario schedule can no longer be used." "All in favor?" "Aye." "Aye." "Aye." "Aye." "Motion approved, I will inform Beta of this and ask for continued updates. Unless there is other business, I move to adjourn till next scheduled meeting." "Approved." "Till next time then, gentlemen." All fives members simultaneously blinked out. Back in Tokyo 3: Shinji woke first, for a change. He groggily forced his eyes open, and too stock of his surroundings. He felt better, he knew he didn't dream last night, but no nightmares either, which was blessing to itself. Asuka was still sleeping, the big silly grin plastered on her angelic features. He plodded to the bath to wash up and wake up, and to collect his thoughts. When he emerged, Asuka and Misato were getting breakfast ready, for this was one of the very few days all of them could actually eat breakfast together. Misato was on second shift at HQ, and Asuka and himself did not have school today. He glanced at Asuka, and her face flushed and she let a small giggle out, with only a smile from Misato. She knew what was going on, she had too. Those two women could gab a lot, and did not keep much from each other. He dressed, and came out to eat breakfast, with giggles and glances from Asuka the whole meal. When they finished, Asuka rose, cleared her plate, and too her ting to the bath to clean herself up for the day. That's when Misato took a more serious nature. "Shinji?" "H..hai?" "What are you going to do?" "About what, Misato?" "About Asuka, or are you really that na‹ve?" "Well, I.." He began to stammer, a slight blush coming to his cheeks, "I guess I really don't understand, I know she moved he bed roll closer to mine, and that she seems much happier, like a kinship of sorts is growing between us, but other than that.." "Shinji?!" Misato was almost paled, "She is falling for you, and hard at that. She told me what she did while you two were mentally linked." Shinji turned as white as a sheet "She told you?!?!? I don't even know what she did, how did you know what she did, and what was it?" "Well, think about it, despite how she always used to treat you, you saved her, put your life on the line for her. That is a bit of a shock. That with what else has happened, she is falling for you, or have you not noticed. As for what she did.." Misato did that one eyed blink of hers "You'll have to get the truth from her, or yourself, if your man enough" He hated it when she did that wink thing. Teasing, with of hint of the 'I am a woman so I understand these things, and I'm not telling' look and sound. It was bound to grind on him till he figured it out, and Misato knew it would also. "However, off that subject, what do you have planned for the day, Shinji?" "Well, I need to see Unit 01, and I have requested some LCL time in a dead ended plug for Asuka." "Is she ready for that yet, I don't know how or if she can handle it yet." "Well, she got back in her suit without major incident, and we weren't even thinking she would for another week or so. I will be there, in the plug as well, one of the reasons I requested a dead end, not even simulated EVA interface, just visual sensors from within the test room. I think she can handle it though, she is stronger than she gives herself credit for." During this Asuka, having showered and cleaned, was preparing to leave the bath, but paused to listen, maybe seeing what the other were discussing "But she was obviously distressed at Toji's ordeal, and you did say that she had to go through that as well." "Yes, I know. She has to synch, and to her EVA first, not Unit 01, despite it's proven flexibility. She must touch that which is within herself, and her EVA, before touching another. I know she isn't ready to be in her EVA yet, that would strain her too much, and she still is a bit unstable, emotionally. Mentally she's fine, just doesn't know it, or not ready to admit it to herself." "That's a pretty big assumption to make of her Shinji, are you sure?" "Pretty sure, last night she stood in my mind, and stared back at her own self, at the part of herself she still fears, the turbulence, the despair, the hurdles ahead, never flinching or running. She stared at it, I had to close that view off, but she had control of herself, at least in part. Then she turned at looked at mine, my turbulence, a part of which concerns her, and still didn't flinch away. Mentally she is strong, but we have to prepare the rest of her." "I am still not convinced, Shinji. I hope you know what you're doing." Asuka felt a warmth come over her as she eavesdropped, she sort of felt bad for what she did to him last night, but here he was, giving her strength and support, and she wasn't even in the room. He was right, she knew she couldn't take her own EVA now, but did not know why she had to use hers first, not Unit 01. But despite the warmth she felt, and the slight despair, a part of her began to knot up, at the sound of what Shinji had planned for her today. She knew he had done it for the best, she never would have agreed to it herself, but she needed to talk to someone, not Misato or Shinji. Rei couldn't help her, but just maybe... "I hope so too. I am going by my feelings and instincts, hoping they won't lead me wrong, and Asuka is in the process. But she should be okay today, no fancy tests, no synch depth tests, nothing fancy. Just getting used to being back in a LCL filled plug. I am even trying to assure that Dr Akagi, and Commander keep out of it, but I don't know if that will go over." "Would you mind if I am there to watch?" "I don't have a problem with it." Asuka sort of sank to floor. He wasn't sure, that would explain a few things. But, was she wrong, were the things her new found openess, in an attempt to make up for a lifetime of being closed off, were deceiving to her. Was her affection for Shinji just a whiplash effect. She began to doubt herself again, and her life. She was confused again, by her own sneakiness, and her old self began to draw on it, and push her back into the abyss of blackness Shinji had tried to pull her from. That Shinji had drawn her from. Once again, she thought back to the number of time Shinji had defied instructions, bended rules, or went out of his way to ensure her safety. Pulling her from the lava pool, his aid is her first sortie, although not planned, the Driac sea incident, she knew she would not have survived had she been the one pulled into it. All the times she did things to him out of boredom, and he never refused, despite his obvious wanting too, but not wanting to deny things, at least as she saw them. And his placing himself in harm's way to save her. Were these the acts of an uncaring person, her newer self screamed into the void, trying to be heard amongst the chaos. Did an uncaring one risk his life again and again, not looking for reward, but rather for the safety on another. He had saved them all so many times, not for duty or his father, but so that other may live. She had once gotten a transcript of the battle where he was absorbed by his Unit. He didn't pray for help for his own life, but for others, he tapped the awesome abilities within, not for his own safety, but to preserve the continued existence of others. He was technically not even a member on Nerve at the time, having brought his fathers' wrath down on him, trying to destroy HQ, and with good reason at the time. He came back, back to them, back to her, me, Asuka. The tiniest voice can cause a landslide, just as a single drop of water can cause a tidal wave. That small voice, the part of her she wanted to be, but wouldn't let herself be, continued to pound on her, she had been free for a few days, and the whole of her enjoyed it. The darkness that was her, that hid her weaknesses, and carried he pride as it torch, found itself plummeting into the blackness, ass the new her won another battle for the whole, staving off yet again the fall back into bitterness and conceit. Asuka returned to the real world, to see Misato looking over her. "Mi..Misato.." Misato gathered her up in her arms, and just held her. "Shhh, you are still here, you beat the odds again, but I think with a little help this time." "Where's...where is Shinji?" Asuka asked, enjoying the warmth of another body near her. "He had to head to HQ, to get things ready for you and the day's events." "I...I don't know if I'm ready for that yet." "Well, given that I know you heard us talking, this probably won't sound right. Shinji trusts you, I trust you, and him, after all, I let you sleep in his room again don't I?" It was true, while Shinji had been out of it, Asuka, in one of her rare feats of sleepwalking, had find herself in his room. Misato found her still there in the morning, none the worse wear at the time, all things considered, and allowed her to sleep in his room if she wanted to. She chose to, and when Shinji had finally woken up, Misato suggested it would still be alright to do the same. Her reasoning being that Shinji would probably never take advantage of Asuka, even if he was given clearance to do so. The two of them had slept in close quarters before, without incident. For now, at least, allowing them to do so was best for all parties concerned. "But, I...I should not have done what I did to him then." "Nonsense, girl. You and I both know he would never make advancements on his own, so I think what you did was for the best, but come on. We need to get you dressed and down to HQ." Shinji meanwhile was having one small argument after another. Most of them were with Ritsuko. She wanted to plug the test they were doing into the EVA simulator system, and Shinji didn't want to. After a fairly long and quite animated discussion, they agreed to middle ground, Ritsuko could take and plug the data into the simulator, but had to completely lock out the feed backs, so Asuka would never know. Shinji hated it, but was the best he could do, Asuka may be able to take the plug, but if she was given feed back from the system, even a simulated one, she would probably not make it through. On top of that, he had to try and keep it from her, lest it add to her apprehension about the test. The only upside to what he was doing this morning was the Vice-Commander had seen to it that no true Eva's were available for the end point of the test. He took Unit 00 and scheduled the general upkeep check for this morning, siting that the regular maintenance had not been done in 2 weeks and needed to be done. This left only Unit 01 and 02 available. Gendo would not put Rei into Unit 01 given what happened, he could not trust it anymore, and therefore made Unit 02 the prime Unit. Despite the odd way it was done, there would be no trickery on Gendo's part, ensuring that the tests went that way they were meant to, not the way he wanted them to go. While waiting for Asuka and Misato, Shinji paid a visit to Toji's sister, and they conversed on the mental plane, both learning and asking, and wondering how things would turn out. It was a calm point for Shinji overall. Elsewhere in the base, the fabrication sections, along with equipment stores, were absolutely ecstatic that day. They had gotten permission to do more work on the new Unit 03, and were wasting no time in taking advantage of the opportunity. They scurried like kids in a candy store, applying all they knew, and the limits of their art and expression into their work. Ritsuko and Fuyutsuki both agreed, that the new Unit 03 would be a masterpiece, visually at least. Gendo had once more tried to rescind it, but was overturned from higher up, adding to his level of frustration. Asuka finally arrived, none the worse for wear, and headed to the locker rooms. Once there, she proceeded to change, a bit more at ease this time than the last, but still took her time, being cautious as she donned her suit. She exited the locker rooms, and went to the control room for the lab, and waited for Shinji to arrive so they could start. Part of her just wanted to get this done with, another wanted to run away, and another wanted to sit in the plug, knowing Shinji would also be there, and knowing that nothing would harm her. Shinji entered a few minutes later, exchanged greetings with everyone, and the to teens proceeded to the loading gallery to begin. Asuka slowed as they approached the plug, nervousness creeping in. "Sh, Shinji are you sure I can do this?" She asked hesitantly. "I know you can, it is just a plug. No Eva, no interface, no battle, just you, me and the plug." "But, I.." Asuka began to trail off. "But nothing Asuka. I will be right in there with you. All we're doing is sitting in a LCL filled plug, nothing else. You have to do this, but if you won't do it to prove it to yourself that you can, then please try for me, okay?" Asuka paused. A request, a polite asking for something. He had asked her, and a part of her beat into her that it really wasn't all that much. It's just a plug, and Shinji wouldn't lie to me. But if I do this, will I be doing it for myself, or for others. If for myself, I have succeeded, if for others, I have merely performed an action for their behalf, and not my own betterment. Do I try and succeed, or take the easy path, which one do I choose? Asuka stood there for a moment, and then cautiously moved towards the plug, slowly putting one step in front of the other. A lab technician had come up to Shinji, with some final words, and while he was agreeing with him, Asuka entered the plug, reached out with her hand, closed her eyes, and with trembling lips and shaky fingers, activated the latching sequence. Shinji was talking with the lab tech, and failed to see Asuka begin to move towards the plug. Then he heard the plug cover begin to close and latch into place. His eyes widened, and he ran to the plug, but the cover had closed already, and had been latched, from the inside. Shinji keyed the intercom on the plug's exterior. "Asuka, what are you doing?" He asked, pleadingly. "I'm sorry, Shinji, but.." Asuka voice trailed off for a moment, "If I don't do this on my own, by myself I will not learn from it, I have to do this on my own, your words convinced me of it." Her voice was shaky, and quiet, but held no deception. "Alright Asuka, I see. Do you want me to stay here, or watch from the control room?" "Please stay here, I am scared as it is, and even though I can't see you, I can feel you, and it helps." Shinji nodded, and asked the tech to bring a portable monitor set out to the platform before they started. He closed his eyes, and sure enough, Asuka was on the edge of his mind, and trying to draw strength from him. The tech returned with the gear and a chair, and Shinji sat down, and they began the test. Elsewhere in the base, Rei was walking towards the lift to take her down to central dogma, as the commander had paged her, and instructed her to report there for a 'session'. Rei knew what that meant. That morning she awoke from another nice dream, and was still perplexed and slightly fearful of the changes that were happening to her, but she feared what she was going to do even more. Fear, she had not known the meaning of the word, not outside of academic meaning, let alone what it felt like. She believed she was afraid, and part of her acted as a scared person should, and another part enjoyed the new feeling, adding it to the whole, looking at past experiences and applying it. She stepped into the lift and began to descend, thinking on what had happened. This morning she had hummed again, while showering, not knowing the tune, yet knowing it. She had had a second dream, a real dream and she liked it. She saw the difference in her skin, a bit pinker, still quite pale, but not ghost white. She remembered the warmth of her hand on her cheek, as she sat in her bath, looking at her face, watching herself smile, and getting that feeling inside when she did. A part of her knew the Commander would try and strip these new things from her, and hoped beyond hope that he failed. It was a completely different existence, understanding in some way a part of what everyone else took for granted. She wondered if she would feel pain, real pain. She never thought about her sessions before, but this one worried her. Would she feel pain, she knew physical pain, and to a lesser extent discomfort. But she had not yet had any exposure to emotional pain, and it was a concern. Will Rei lose what she has Gained? Will Gendo win in the end? Will PenPen learn the Macarena? Some of these question may be answred next chapter Izcer4 Izcer4@rocketmail.com From: Izcer4@rocketmail.com (Izcer4) Okay, Here is part 7 of Power of Pain. As you can see, I am going for shorter segments. Give me some feedback on if it's good, or if I could make them a tad bigger. As usual I have no Idea how long this thing is going to get, but I like it so far. Comments and Criticsim are welcomed, flames will be sent to Valhalla for all time. Power of Pain was originally written by Corey Holmes, this continuation is done with his full knowledge and approval. Evangelion is copyrighted by Gainax and others, and is used without permission This is a work of Fan-Fiction, and should be treated as such. Evangelion: The Power of Pain Alternate, part 7 by Izcer4 Back in the lab, Asuka just tried to relax and breathe as the plug was tilted to it's correct angle. She tried to control herself, and push down the fear, as the LCL began to filer in, stopping just before her feet. "Asuka, I asked the lab techs to give you control of the LCL level, so take it as whatever pace you feel okay with, alright?" Shinji asked through the intercom. "Da, err Hai." She responded, feeling her own heart racing, shallow breathing. She had momentarily slipped back into German, not a real good sign. She was worried, the sight of the fluid at her feet, the fluid she breathed while a pilot, the fluid that kept her and Rei and Shinji safe during sorties. Her mind trailed off, kept her safe, and Shinji too, from injury, from pain. She knew it was actually termed 'Injury due to wave compression and expandability of gaseous environments', but basically the fluid made sure that physical hits to the EVA were not amplified when the shock waves hit the pilots. Keeps us safe, her mind kept repeating, and drawing on the consciousness that was Shinji, outside the plug, she could sense his concern, and something else was there also, but she couldn't place it. Asuka closed her eyes and thought 'Hey, it worked with the suit, so why not the plug' as she keyed the internal LCL level controls, causing the LCL to continue to rise in the plug, at a very slow rate. Feeling the fluid as is rose, sensing it around her legs, then hips, and lower torso, making her feel a bit lighter in the plug, as it enveloped her body. When the fluid hit her neck, she unknowingly hit the switch, stopping the filling. "Shinji....." She whispered, in her plug, in her suit, filled to her neck in LCL. "I'm still here, Asuka, you're doing fine." She sat there, Alone in her plug, yet not alone in her mind. The LCL was cold, it would not begin to warm till the chamber was full. The cold fueled the part of her that wanted to get out, stop the test, and run and hide. Her mind, however, did not want to run. She sat there, for a few moments, able to feel her heart beating in her chest, but the sounds of heavy shallow breathing were going away, as were the shakes in her hand, partially due to the LCL, but more so because of herself. She took another deep breath, closed her eyes again, and forced herself to key the fluid release, and removed her hand from the switch. The fluid began to rise once more. Asuka felt the fluid rise, the coldness on her skin, the taste of the fluid in her mouth. Suppressing what little gag reflex she had, taking the fluid into her lungs, remembering how to breathe in this stuff. She felt the fluid as it entered her ears, like water, and as it rose across her eyelids, and up over the top of her head. She would have to start her once normal two washings, which was what it took to get the LCL out of her longer hair, she almost welcomed the change back. She opened her eyes, blinking at the slight stinging, remembering she hadn't been in this stuff in almost 2 weeks, and her eyes took a moment to readjust to it. The fluid finished filling, and she felt the circulation systems turn on, and the warmth of the fluid return, not quite like being in an EVA. Or near Shinji, a small voice said in her mind, but a warmth all the same. Rei had reached the Central Dogma, and was in the changing rooms. It always struck her as odd, the room had about 60 lockers, but Rei knew she was the only one to use this room. It led to the top of the Dogma tank, and to where she submerged herself in something akin to LCL for her sessions. Why there were 60 lockers for only one person had always been on her mind, but this was the first time she stopped to ponder it. She disrobed, and placed her things in her locker, and went to the tank loading area, to await the Commander, her hesitancy still on her mind. The Commander was at the Dogma terminal. He was entering what was to be done. He would strip his pride and joy back down to where she should be. He would remove anything that had occurred to her over the last few days. He knew something was slipping away from him, but he would not let his HIP slip away. He did not care what the Third Child supposedly knew, for he knew nothing, despite the rumors to the contrary. When he had finished entering the processes to be done, he keyed the ready signal to the loading area. Rei saw the light come on, meaning the Commander was ready. She hesitated, something approaching fear in her heart, and she paused. She knew the Commander was going to try and take what she had gained, make her little more than an automaton again. She felt like crying, not wanting to lose what she had gained. Another part of her made her blush, here she was, wearing nothing, and going to be in full view of a man for probably about an hour or two. She turned inwards, looking for an answer, not knowing if one would be there. Gendo was getting worried, and impatient. He knew Rei was in the loading area, he could see the somewhat distorted reflection of her legs from his position. There was still a small part of him that never grew up, and always enjoyed these sessions. He was able to view an innocent young nubile female in all her glory, without fear of retribution, it was an ecchi's dream situation. He knew he could never act on those impulses, but they were there all the same. The last time he acted on them, about 15 years ago, he considered a mistake, especially of late. However, Rei was never this hesitant to get in the tank, and he was about ready to curse, when he saw her leg enter the tank. Rei was in turmoil. She knew she had to do as the Commander ordered, but knew he was going to take away her new found twinge of what everyone else had, their humanity. She was on the verge of tears, when a soft voice spoke to her mind, from somewhere in herself, a voice that was familiar, and foreign at once. 'do not fear him anymore, my child. He cannot take away what you have gained, I will not allow it' it said, and continued to assure her, and to go ahead, and trust in herself and her friends, for they would never leave her. She thought of these words, as she placed a leg into the tank and enter it, her eyes still closed, drawing on the strength of those words, as she lowered herself in what may be the end of her short lived humanity. Up in the testing cage, things were a bit better, Asuka was in the plug, and it had finished filling. Asuka had also calmed down, to something approaching normal. They had turned on the sensors, and Asuka could now see her surroundings, weather she was ready to interact with them was another story, but it was a start. Shinji was on the outside of the plug, watching over her via monitor, and watching over the Doctor, should she go back on her word. Asuka was getting re-accustomed to the plug, the smell and feel of it. The controls, and foot pedals, she even toggled the clock display, which registered as infinite, since there was no actual data connection for it to determine time remaining. She was sitting there, calmer by the moment when it hit. Ritsuko was in heaven, well almost. The numbers she was getting from Asuka, as well as Shinji to a smaller extent, were incredible. She had been feeding them into the Unit simulator, and watching the responses, shunting the feedbacks to the now otherwise useless dummy plugs. Maybe they had a purpose after all. The EVA was responding better than ever, as if it could tell who was there, even though they were not even physically connected. Then it happened Shinji was watching the monitors, seeing Asuka getting more and more accustomed to being back in the plug. This morning he had 'spoken' to Unit 02, and told it what they were doing, and to ask if things went well, if it could activate it's regen function. It had agreed, and Shinji was quite happy at the results so far. He now saw the reasoning behind Asuka insistence that she did this by herself. He knew she had drawn momentarily on his mental strength and support during the filling, but was standing on her own now. He watched as Ritsuko was happy as a school girl at the results she was getting. Then it happened The Vice Commander was watching all he could on the monitors, the test in the lab, the actual testing cage where the teens were, the Heavy bay, just for fun, and the main cage on different monitors. He was in the operations center, and almost all eyes were watching what he was. They all knew something was going on, and so when Fuyutsuki had requested the different feeds, they requested they be shunted to the main viewers, as they -did- concern everyone, in a small way at least. In the Heavy Bay, the fabrications people were scurrying around, all with sweat, grime, and very large smiles on their faces. In the storage room, which was only viewed by the VC, he could see Ritsuko was keeping her word with Shinji, and shunting the feedbacks to the dummy plugs. On the monitor for the actual cage, he, as well as everyone in the op center could see the eyes of Unit 02 glowing, a but unnerving to say the least. For one, there were no umbilicals connected, and two, there was no pilot in it. The VC knew why, and smiled inwardly, getting a feeling all was going to come out okay. He also thought about the session Gendo was having with Rei in Central Dogma. This worried him slightly, but he could do nothing. He though about what may be happing there, in the depths of the base, and its probable impact on everyone, when, to put it mildly, all hell broke loose. As Rei entered the tank, Gendo adjusted his glasses. When she was in position, he keyed the terminal to begin. The top of the tank closed, and the great machinery which made up the HIP interface began to thrum. Rei sat in the glass tube, eyes closed. This puzzled Gendo for a moment, but he paid it no heed, for soon she would be as she should be, docile and compliant. Then it happened, and when it began, he knew he would not like it. Rei entered the tube with her eyes closed, not wishing to see the man in front of her. She was continuing to draw comfort from the voice, when the machinery began it's work. She felt it enter her essence, searching for something. It was uncomfortable to be sure, but the voice continued to comfort her, giving her strength. The Dogma system reached what it was searching for, paused for a moment, and then lunged for it, trying to rip it from the essence that made up Rei. Rei's eyes shot open, and even through the glass, her screams of agony and pain could be heard, and she lashed out, trying to stop the pain, trying to make it stop. She called out, physically and mentally, as the machine tried to destroy what she had gained. She looked forward in between screams and gave Gendo a stare of pure contempt and hatred, that should the tube be any less strong, her glare would have melted through it. Then, the voice came to her aid... In the test lab, both Shinji and Asuka jerked, and slumped for a moment. "Rei...." Asuka said from within the plug, sensing something was terribly wrong with Rei. "Rei..., no, NO, I shall not let him!" Shinji said as he bolted up, and ran towards the door to take him to the lifts. Ritsuko watched, as almost every alarm she had went off at once. Changing her glance, she saw what happened, and feared the worst, and glanced her board finding something even stranger. The Vice Commander watched, as he knew he could do nothing to prevent it. On their screens, they saw the two teens slump over, and at almost the same time, it happened again. The eyes of both Unit 01 and 02, and even Unit 00 glared brightly, and Unit 01 cracked it's mouth once more, and let loose a heart stopping roar. Fuyutsuki quickly looked about, and got what he needed, and typed a few things into a terminal. Back in the Dogma chamber, Rei was still screaming in pain, fearing for her own existence, calling out to any who would listen, pleading for help. She was tearing, hunched as best she could in the confines of the tube, trying to stop the pain. Then it hit. Gendo was watching, watching Rei twist in agony inside tube, calling for help that he thought would never come. His mouth took on one of his regular smirks. He felt an odd feeling pass over him, and he never saw what was about to happen coming. He doubled over in pain, as he was hit with the fury of his aggressor, this time it spoke to him although. 'You evil one, you degrade me and my kind, is nothing sacred, even in death from your black soul' it echoed throughout his entire being. 'You shall never, never take away what we have given this child, what you have denied her, we have restored, and you shall never harm her this way again', it finished echoing in his mind, and throughout his body, but continued to beat him with feelings of hate and contempt to within an inch of his life. Then, for some reason, the terminal which controlled the Dogma equipment exploded in a spray of sparks, and several tubes and sections of the machinery above the tube broke, spraying sparks and the odd fluid about the floor. Rei ceased her screams, and just slumped over, not moving. A hand reached into the tube, followed by the other arm, it was Shinji. He had rushed to a lift, and pressed up, to get to his EVA, but the lift went down, picked up a small contingent of medical personnel, and continued downward. Shinji reached into the tube, and somehow grabbed Rei, and lifted as hard as he could, to remove from her prison. A few of the medical people rushed to Gendo, and put him on a gurney, and took him to a lift. Shinji succeeded in getting Rei out of the tube, and covered her, and took her to the locker room, and laid her on a cot in the room. Asuka came in a few moments later, more medical people in tow. The Vice-Commander also, he had used the one override he had, emergency alarms allowed him to override the lift security settings, and get everyone down here. Asuka still was in her suit, and a few drops of LCL falling from her hair, as she went to Shinji, and the unmoving Rei. The medical people shoved their way in, and placed Rei on a stretcher, and took her out, and straight to the infirmary. "Shinji, Asuka, come, we should go to the infirmary now" Fuyutsuki said after Rei had been removed. "What is this place?" Asuka asked. "Central Dogma, or it was at least. That is all I can tell you." The VC responded. As they approached the lift they discussed what had happened. In short, Gendo tried to take away from Rei what she was given by the EVA, and the EVA would not let that go without a fight. Somehow, both Asuka and Shinji had heard Rei's call for help, and so had the EVA. Shinji had rushed down here, and ran through the locker room, despite the 'ladies only' sign and into the staging area, where he pulled Rei from the tank. The medical people had said that Gendo would live, but had a few minor burns and cuts from the exploding equipment. Asuka had stopped the test, and exited as soon as she could after Shinji had bolted up. She didn't tell him, but she not only felt Rei's pleas, but felt the presence of three other souls shortly after that. She would ask him later. She noticed the shade of Rei's skin, that it was not normal for her, and for the first time in her life, was worried for her. Rei was confused. She was standing someplace, but where was questionable. Around her, on 3 sides were images of people, women. Two of them she knew, the third one was a stranger. They seemed to be talking, but she could not hear of understand. The last thing she remembered was the pain, the intense pain and agony, and her calling out for help, from within her prison of glass and liquid. The voice had answered her, told her help was coming, and that was the last thing she could remember. She 'felt' for lack of a better term, like someone was near her, concerned, but worried the same. The three women around her looked somewhat transparent. Am I dead, Rei asked herself. If I am it is different from the last time. The women turned to face her, and she saw who they were. The stranger, with a lovely face and hair that was close to Asuka's smiled at her, and faded away. The other two remained. One was the head of Yui Ikari, Shinji's mother. Rei could see why people said they were similar, their faces were almost the same. The face smiled, nodded to the remaining head, and faded out as well. This left only one head, the head of Dr Akagi. Not Ritsuko, but her mother, the who had, had done 'that' to her in the past. But the face held no malice, only a comforting smile, and eyes of a mother, not a jealous woman. The face's mouth opened, and spoke to Rei's mind. You are safe now, he cannot harm you again, we have seen to that, it said to Rei. Please forgive me child, it continued, I did not understand myself then, but I do now. The head began to fade out. Return to your friends, and live, for you deserve better than what you have seen thus far, it said as it completely faded out. Back in the real world, Shinji, Misato, Asuka and Fuyutsuki were gathered outside the Infirmary room where the doctors were tending to Rei. Asuka could feel the contempt Shinji was felling towards his father, and the concern for Rei as well. It was radiating from him. Misato and the Vice Commander were conversing, and deciding what to do, as well as talking about the Commanders condition. Gendo, Shinji was thinking. Using his father's first name was an indication of his own internal state. He was livid at this outrage, he should have let him die a slow death when he had the chance. Now he had gone and done this, and no one was sure if Rei would make it. The doctors emerged from Rei's room, and consulted with the other medical staff on her status, then left to the wing where their offices were. Rei would make it, physically at least. The Commander would be fine, and was to be released from the infirmary in the morning, with strict instructions to take it easy for a few days. Misato and Fuyutsuki left to discuss a few things, and ran into Ritsuko along the way. Shinji and Asuka sat there, outside Rei's room. "Shinji, what are you thinking about?" Asuka asked. "I should have known better, tried to prevent it, somehow..." He trailed off. "You really couldn't have known. I know I don't treat Rei like a friend, but she is still alive and I am worried. I..." She paused, trying to decide what words to use, "I felt her, and heard her call out, just like you did. I don't know how, since I am new to it, but I could almost feel her pain, she asked for help and we were there to help." She finished, the last part not sounding right, but she didn't know what it was supposed to sound like to begin with. "I think anyone with even a hint of ability heard her, she was quite strong in her plea. I don't know what that room was, but I do not think they will be using it anytime soon." Shinji flatly responded. "Well come on, we should go get some sleep, it is getting late. And it's your turn to make dinner." Asuka said with a smirk. Shinji looked at Asuka, and her smirk infected him, and he smiled. The two left the waiting area, and went to go home. In the conference room: "Are you absolutely sure Ritsuko?" Fuyutsuki asked. "Yes sir. I don't know how, and I don't think I want to know the answer either, but it did happen, of that I am certain" "Let me get this straight then." Misato asked, "Shinji and Asuka both somehow sensed Rei was in trouble, and all the EVA's, Unit 01, 02, and 00 all reacted to it as well, but at different levels?" "Yes, and also I called Toji. He said at about the same time, he felt something odd, a bit of uneasiness, and he was at home." Ritsuko responded. "Is there anything else that happened?" Fuyutsuki asked. "Only that it appears that Unit 00 is, for lack of a better word, awake to an extent. It will probably stay that way till Rei wakes up." "Very well, I will note it in my report. Lets just hope it all happened for the best then." All three left on that note. Ritsuko did not mention, since she was still not sure how, but in the instant before the alarms sounded, Unit 02 somehow bypassed Ritsuko's feed back routing and touched Asuka in the test plug. It was only momentary, but it was there. She did not know what to make of it, and decided to sleep on it. Misato left for home, knowing the teens would be upset at her tardiness, but it could not be helped. Fuyutsuki cleaned up the remaining report he had to, made his notes, and prepared to leave for the evening. He notified the council of what had happened, as it was not exactly planned, and he preferred to tell them directly, than have them find out from other sources. He also informed the Ops center of the exact instructions and limitations placed on Gendo for the next few days. With that done, he turned off his terminal, and left for home. The next day passed without major incident, odd as that seemed. Gendo tried to exceed his authority, and was sedated for it, and he decided not to try again. The work crews checked the damaged sections of the Dogma terminal and determined it would never function again. Whatever did whatever was done, it was quite complete. The unit would never work again, not without having to disassemble almost half of the entire base to get to all the damaged pieces. Due to Rei's injury, Shinji was placed on the active roster, earlier than expected, but it was needed. Shinji had argued about the decision but eventually conceded. Unit 01 was moved to the active cage, and one could almost feel the pride emanating from the unit as it was put into place, as if it was waiting to active once more. Shinji and Asuka had school that day, and everyone was glad to see them both, and the smile on Asuka's face. The two teens, as well as Toji had a discussion at lunchtime over what had happened the day before. Each expressed their concern for Rei, and contempt for Gendo. Toji revealed he had indeed also felt something amiss, but could not place what it was. "It was odd, I was sitting at home doing my homework, and it suddenly felt like my stomach was knotting up, it was weird." "You got lucky then, it was worse on our end." Shinji responded. "Yeah I guess. I didn't tell Ritsuko, but I also felt something else, much fainter but definitely there." Toji replied, gazing over the railing, eating his food absently. "Something else?" Shinji asked. "Yeah, it was like that warm felling I got during that last test, but it, I dunno, felt like there was more than one of it." Toji answered. "We'll have to watch for that, I have no Idea what it was." "Shinji, I also got something like that, right before I popped the latches. It was like a light mental touch, I guess I didn't freak because of the other things happening, but now that I think about it, it was there." Shinji just thought about this, but before he could answer or think too hard, Hikari announced lunch was over. The discussion would have to wait. Shinji was having a hard time trying to catch up on his missed work, so couldn't wander off mentally during class. Somewhere in the vastness of existence: A spark, that's all it took. The last had failed, now it was his turn. The required time had elapsed, and the results looked at. He determined what had gone wrong, and prepared to plan his attack. The -humans- would not survive this one. The sixteenth Angel had awakened, and began to form. -How long till this new threat emerges? -Will Rei make it through okay? -Should the doctors just keep Gendo sedated? Maybe these questions will be answered in the next segment -Izcer4 Izcer4@rocketmail.com From: Izcer4@rocketmail.com (Izcer4) Okay boys and girls, here is the next chapter for Power of Pain alternate. I deeply appologize for the delay. However, after a huge stint of writers block, and 3 major revisions to the section, I think it's about as good it is gonna get. I know it's shorter than most, but hey, I gotta post something to keep the hounds off my heels ^_^ I will continue to keep writing this fic, and very soon it should begin to get more exciting, as we are almost past all th downer points and painful hurdles. Enjoy Evangelion is copyrighted by Gainax and others and is used without permission The original Power of Pain was written by Corey Holmes. This is a work of fanfiction, and should be treated as such Neon Genesis Evangelion: The Power of Pain Alternate, part 8 By Izcer4 In the SEELE council chambers: "So, Alpha will not be making it today then, pity" "Yes, according to Beta, he will not be doing much of anything for a few days." "What else does Beta have to say on things?" "He reports the regen on Unit 02 is now active, and due to the events of Alpha, 3 is now on prime duty. He also states the chamber used by Alpha will be non-functional for the rest of time as he put it." "I see, does this affect the HIP in any adverse way?" "I do not think so, as 1 is recovering and should be fine. The report also states that 1 and 2 have developed a m-link to their respective weapons, which should be acceptable even considering the loss of facilities." "I take it that Betas' reports are checking out to be truthful?" "As far as Delta and Epsilon are concerned yes, data cross check appear to support no attempt to hide information from us on the part of Beta source." "Hmm, very well. As we agreed we will open the remaining resources that our deal with Beta stipulated." "I wonder, will they be ready should another Angel appear?" "It is against the timeline for one to appear, but if they are not back to full status within another week or so, then there is cause for concern." "Very well, move we adjourn till such time as the scheduled meeting." All five points of light vanished. After classes, the three teens all walked to NERV, slowly, conversing as they went. Shinji knew he was the current active pilot, but did not want to rush. Asuka was going to try and see if she could muster the strength to see her EVA, and Rei. Neither promised to be easy, but she felt she had to. Toji was just tagging along. He said he might check in on his sister, and maybe take a gander down in the heavy bay, to see what was going on down there. The best he was able to get was one of Misato's winking 'you'll see', which gnawed at him as much as they did Shinji. As they exited the lift and entered the base, Toji bid a farewell and went on his way, and Asuka followed Shinji towards the ops center, where he had to check in. After he checked in, Shinji headed towards the locker rooms. Ritsuko needed to see him there, and said to get his plug suit on, in case she needed to test something. Asuka parted ways, heading for the infirmary, and one could see her pace slow the closer that she got to it. Shinji changed into his suit, and entered the lab control room, where Ritsuko was. "You wanted to see me Dr.?" "Yes Shinji, please sit down." Ritsuko responded. "Shinji, before I explain, I want you to know I had no idea it would happen, and that I hope you don't get upset at and think I went back on my word." "What are you talking about Doctor?" "Take a look at this, it's from yesterday," Ritsuko turned the monitors on and began a replay of the test, "We were going along, and then, right after the two of you slumped and jerked, but before Asuka flipped the latches on the plug this happened.." "I see, and please forgive my asking, but what is it?" "As you know, I bypassed the feed backs and shunted them to the dummy plugs, the results were encouraging, but this was strange. In the time period I mentioned, it appears that one or more of the EVA, I cant tell, bypassed my bypass, and got into Asuka's plug. I have no clue how it happened, but it did." "So that what she was talking about.." Shinji thought out loud to himself. "I just wanted to let you know so that....what did you say?" "Nothing really, when we were outside Rei's room at the infirmary, Asuka said she felt something touch her mind, but wasn't sure what it was. Toji also said something similar, but that it felt like there was more than one. I guess this explains it. My guess is Unit 02 reached to Asuka specifically, but I will have to see." "Wait a second, Asuka and Toji felt something. Asuka I could see, but Toji wasn't near the base, and as far as I can make out, hasn't had enough plug time to be able to do that yet." Shinji shrugged "Well, that's what he told me today at lunch. Another leap for science, or another headache for the same. I don't know which, but I believe him in his statement." "Very well." Ritsuko said flatly, rubbing her temples. "May I be excused Doctor?" "Yes, thank you for coming down." Shinji stood and left the room. If Toji could feel it, and Unit 02 touched her, along with all 3 Units going off at once, hmmm. Shinji was thinking to himself, while walking towards the lift to the infirmary. The part concerning Asuka could be understood, the plug test supposed to be a prelude to her seeing her EVA, and touching what was within. But Toji, that was a different story. If he was beginning to sense things, they may have to move faster on Unit 03, for everyone's safety, and Unit 01 has a few questions to answer. Shinji lost himself in thought as he walked down the long hallways. Gendo was in a really foul mood. After finally being allowed to leave the infirmary, and receiving his instructions on his limitations, he proceeded to his office. Once there, he discovered the piles of paperwork he needed to catch up on. Just what I need, he thought, I am incapacitated for a day, and that's when everyone decides to pile the work up. He cursed himself for his own beuracracy, and sat and started going through the stack. He grimaced at the reports on the status of the repairs to Central Dogma, but seeing the headers, he knew he couldn't change anything. He almost threw a fit when he saw the status of Unit 03. He cursed the council and whoever was betraying him, they had allowed for the completion of a device that should not be built as far as he was concerned. He set the stack aside, and turned to his monitors, the official, and unofficial ones. He watched Ritsuko pouring over something, but he couldn't get a good view of the terminal she was at. He saw the Third Child walking the halls in his plug suit, checked the roster, and was appalled to see he was the prime pilot. He checked on Rei remotely, the two guards outside her room, the doctor inside it, and the Second Child a few doors down the hall, along with the Fourth child. Those two need to be watched, he thought. He tried to look into the staging cage, but the monitor was blank, or blocked, he didn't know. He tried to spy on other members of the command staff, but those cameras were blocked also. He sat there, fuming, and reluctantly picked up the stack of work again. In her mind, Rei was awake, and confused. She knew her body was safe, and did not feel any pain. But she was puzzled. How did Shinji and Asuka know she was in trouble. They had never shown any concern for her well being before, well Asuka never did at least. Yet both her and Shinji somehow knew she was in pain, and had rushed to help her. Why did she see the faces of people now dead. They were familiar yes, but that did not explain why they were there. Rei could feel a warmth, it was still all around her. A comfortable warmth she though she knew, yet knew that she didn't. It felt so familiar, yet so alien. She wished the problem would go away, she did not want to go back, not if it meant more pain. She was tired of pain, and wanted to keep the warmth forever. Asuka was surprised at herself. She had made it to Rei's room, and had only paused twice on the way. She mentally forgot that the last 50 feet or so she had to close her eyes, but it was thankfully forgotten. Looking through the glass, at Rei's still form made her wonder. She was a puzzle, Rei was. Her actions were puzzling, her lack of interpersonal skills was worse than Shinji's, she never spoke unless spoken to, and a host of other things. Her red eyes, her almost ghost white skin, although that was beginning to look a lot better. She lacked feminine modesty, and rarely smiled or complained. She just did, and that was all. The changes in her over the last dew days seemed surface at best. Her skin was looking more normal, her voice had begun to have a twinge of life to it, and Asuka could swear she had caught Rei smiling. Asuka sighed, leaned her head against the glass, and mentally tried to reach out Rei, asking her to come back. She then left shortly there after, and never stuck around to see if her request worked. Down in the holding cage, it was pitch blackness, save the dim glow from the eye of Unit 00. Unit 02 was here, and would stay here for a while still, as Asuka was not yet cleared to fight. Unit 01 sat in the staging cage, fully lit, and techs bristling about, ready to launch within 30 seconds or the alert sounding. Asuka stood on the far side of the gantry, looking at the face of Unit 01. She felt a bit of what Shinji felt about these creations. They asked so much of them, the pilots and the EVA's. The people running around, performing check after check. Putting in as much pride and care as they could, imparting their best into making sure this armor plated machine of destruction was ready. Ready to support the pilot, ready to once more stave off the destruction of the world. She stood from her leaning position, done admiring the magnificence that was Unit 01. She turned and walked out of the bay, and returned to her wandering. Toji on the other hand was enjoying his view. He had visited his sister, as was his usual routine. Then he had wandered down to the Heavy Bay, wondering what all the commotion the last few days had been over. Much to his surprise, his ID badge opened the door, so he walked in. He was standing about halfway up the side of the bay. He looked at the cavernous space. It had to be tall enough for almost two EVA's to stand on top of each other. It was wide enough for three prone units to be laying side by side, and long enough for two EVA's to be laying down feet to feet. And in the center of the room, in a construction cradle of enormous size, was something, but Toji did not know what it was. In the cradle was something huge. It looked like a humanoid form, but with a few changes. There were crews literally pouring over it's entire surface. In the center of the chest, which Toji could see quite clearly, was a large red sphere. As the cradle was rotated, Toji caught something that made him almost faint at the sight. As the cradle was turned, the back of the neck came into view, and there sat something Toji had seen only 4 other places. It was a plug entry point. He looked down as saw someone polishing a piece of metal, it was emerald green, with a high shine. The crewman stepped away and took the buffer away, and Toji saw his worst nightmare reborn. On the green plate, in black paint about 4 feet tall, were two number: 03. Toji felt weak in the knees. The rumors were just that, they couldn't be rebuilding it, not after what happened the last time. He knew he was a usable pilot, and that this was most likely meant for him. His mind did a quick replay of his last experience in Unit 03, amplifying the pain of course, as his mind was being cruel. Toji slumped down to the deck grating, terrified and could not move, even if he had wanted to. Asuak looked up, she had been wandering for about 20 minutes, and never even looked where she was going. Her feet just moved, her hands swung, or hit door buttons, all without the mind telling them to. She was thinking, long and deep. About Rei, Toji, Misato, and of course Shinji. What had happened to her, and them, and what it all could possibly mean. She paused, and sighed, listening to the sounds around her. Wherever she was, it was cooler, and large, she could hear the echoing, and the faint thrum of the air circulating equipment. She looked up, and was surprised to see where se was. In front of her, no more than 10 feet form her face, was the form of her EVA. Part of her sunk, but most of her didn't, there were too many other things going on at the moment to turn and run. Her EVA, hers, ever since that day, so many years ago. She looked at it, it's multiple eyes, it shiny red coloring, the same color of her suit. Red, the color of hate, of fear, and of blood. How many times had her anger shown, how many times did try and hide her fear. She failed to remember the number of times she had hidden behind her pride, afraid, the times she tried to hold herself higher, even to the extent of using her EVA as a lever for that. She stood there, thinking, remembering. Oddly, she found herself more at peace, not fearful, not running, as she would have done just a few days before. She sighed, and her eyes closed. She could feel an slight inner warmth, even knowing the room was chilled, the warmth of...of something familiar, yet still out of reach of the memories. A fuzziness on the edge of her mind, a familiar one, but just soft enough to avoid revealing it's identity. Asuka tentatively took a few steps closer, to the edge of the gantry, within arm's reach of her Unit. Her ram raised, and she ran her hand over the breastplate, feeling the smoothness, and tracing the great numbers painted there. The numbers that linked her to this creation, and the creation to her. She sighed, removed her hand, and continued on, not noticing the faint glow that emanated from the eyes. Back in the Heavy Bay, Toji was still in the grips of fear and anxiety, His breathing was shallow and fast, his eyes still glued open. He was pushed up against the wall, on the grating, to incoherent to even try and find the door out. A distant part of him had heard a technician ring someone, the crew member having seen Toji fall to the floor, and he had heard the door open. But his mind was racing too fast to connect the two logically. "Toji, what is wrong?" A familiar voice said. "Wha..wha..what is that?!?!" He managed to stammer out, pointing to the cradle, his mind still frantic to find an answer "It's the new Unit 03. Completely rebuilt save 2 components." The voice said. "How, why, who, I..." Toji trailed off, still in a state of shock "Well, don't worry, it's safe this time, Toji." Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki bent down, and tried to block Toji's view of the cradle, and bring him back to reality. Toji was still incoherent, he failed to hear the Vice Commander, or even notice as he was hoisted up, and more or less dragged from the bay, back into the hall and placed on a bench. After a few minutes, he gradually pulled his mind back to one piece, and just sat there, staring into the floor, trying to gain a grasp on what he had just seen. Why would they rebuild it, he asked himself. They had been hemming and hawing about angel contamination, and now here they are making another one. The particulars weren't important. They were making a new Unit 03, and somehow Toji knew they would find a way to stick him back in it. He silently rose, and started walking, not caring where his feet let him, and failing to even note the Vice Commander watching him go, without even a word. Fuyutsuki watched as Toji got up and left, seeing his eyes never leave the floor. Perhaps it was a bad idea to allow his ID to open the door, but the damage was done. All he could do is hope it wasn't beyond repair. Walking to a nearby intercom unit, he picked it up, talked for a few moments with someone on the other end, then replaced the receiver and entered the Heavy Bay for his daily inspection of the progress. He emerged close to an hour later, deep in thought over what he now knew. The Unit was progressing nicely. The primary frame was done, and the S2 and plug interface were mounted. Once the tests were done to ensure they were in properly, they could give the Unit is 'focal entity' as they had come to call it. The head engineer said it would be ready in 3 days, and in 10 days after that the EVA would be completely done, ready for initial synching and battle. He guessed he should call Shinji and ask him to verify that what they would be doing was alright. The repercussions if they goofed meant death to everyone, not just the base. If they failed, the world was doomed. Shinji entered Rei's room in the infirmary. He slowly closed the door, and made his way to the bedside. Rei had been out longer than normal, and he and Asuka, along with Misato and the Vice Commander were beginning to worry about her. He knew what she might be going through, having been there himself. He sat down, and thoght, hoping he was making the right choice is doing this. Slowly he placed his hand on Rei's and closed his eyes. Rei was sleeping. She knew not where the bed had come from, but it was warm, and clean, and she felt safer than she ever had. The world around her was a void, just her, the bed, and the lingering image of the woman's face above her. Everything else was shapeless, shifting, no solid form. She did feel a lingering sense of worry, but it didn't feel like it was hers. She happily slumbered, sleeping in that safe, warm spot where she knew no one would ever harm her. She felt a slight wave wash over her, but brushed it off, until... "Rei." A voice said "Rei, can we please talk?" It continued after a moment Rei's mind raced in a scramble trying to remember the voice. It sounded so familiar, in more ways than one, but she couldn't place it by sound alone. "Rei, please.." The voice said softly, not whiny or desperate, but kindly and gently. Rei grudgingly lifted herself to a sitting position, and opened her eyes. Before was Shinji, his soft features showing the concern, and something else, something deeper. How did he get here, she asked herself, I know I am not in reality, but not dead either, so where am I and how did Shinji get here too? "Shinji?" She softly said, "How did you...." "Get here? Long story, but that's not why I came" He replied, and out of nowhere a chair appeared beneath him and he sat down in it. Rei noticed then that while Shinji appeared to be in his plug suit, she was clothed in hers, although just moments ago, she could have sworn that she was in a dressing gown. What is going on here, how is this happening, and why? Shinji glanced up, and looked at the lingering image for a moment before returning his gaze to Rei. "The what and how are easy to explain, the why is a tad more difficult." His voice dropped ion volume "I take then that you know..?" indicating the image above the two of them. "Know what Shinji?" Rei replied. "I'll explain later. How are you feeling?" Rei looked down at the sheets of her floating bed, lost for a minute or two in thought "Good I guess. This isn't real is it?" "Nope, we are your mind..both of us." "It's nice here, I feel so safe. I know it's not real but.." Rei trailed off. "But you wish you could stay here, right?" Shinji asked. Rei just nodded "I don't want to go back to the pain. I am tired of pain. Ever since that time in your EVA I have found myself looking back on what I have seen and done. I am tired of the pain I endure." "Rei, pain will always be there, it is part of being human. The pain my father put you through will never happen again. That machine has been destroyed. No one can take away what you have gained." "Shinji, do you know what I am? Do you know what has happened to me to deserve such kindness from you and the others?" "I know you are my friend. I know you are different, but everyone is that in their own way. I don't care what you are, as long as you are my friend, and I am your, everything else doesn't matter." "I think you are wrong Shinji. I hate to say it, but I feel I do not deserve what I have been given." "Rei, weather or not you deserve it, you have it, and no one can take that away. Please, I ask you on behalf of myself and all your friends, come back to us. We need you, and not just for NERV. You have become a part of a team, and we need you back." Shinji stood, and the chair beneath him faded out. He then backed away, and began to fade from view, as he left Rei's mind. Rei sat there, thinking. Is it safe to go back, she wondered. Shinji has never lied to me before, but each time I am there, it is painful. Do I stay here, or trust that others need me. I have never felt needed or loved for that matter. What part do I listen to. She looked up, staring at the image above her, as if trying to gain insight into her own self, then laid back down, and went back to sleep, the safety and warmth winning this time. As Shinji stood and was leaving the infirmary, he ran into the Vice Commander. At his request they went to his office where they could talk undisturbed. "How is Rei doing?" "Hard to say. I think she fears a lot of things will happen if she comes back. She feels safe, insulated in her mind. I only hope she realizes we are telling her the truth, and that the pain that put her there can never happen again." "I see. The doctors tell me physically she is fine now, and should have woken up, much the same as you were. But I digress. Toji made his way to the Heavy Bay this afternoon and saw it. He seems troubled by it immensely. The builders also report that the Unit will be ready for its focal entity in about 3 days." Shinji looked to the floor for a few moments. "I can talk to him, see if I can explain. Don't know how much good it will do, but I can try." "That will be enough I think. How goes Asuka's condition?" "Progressing. She knows a lot of the basics I guess you would call them. I saw her end up by her EVA earlier, and she more of less visited Rei. She is getting back on her feet slowly, but the changes are definitely for the better." "I agree completely with you there, Shinji. Almost everyone likes the happy Asuka to the old bitter one..." "Is that all sir? I am supposed to be on duty, even though I don't agree with it." "Yes, thank you Shinji. I know you don't agree with it, but right now you are the only flight capable pilot we have, and I appreciate your understanding." Shinji stood, bowed and quietly left, returning to his duties. Fuyutsuki smiled as he saw the boy leave. So much like his mother, he thought. It was becoming enjoyable again to come to work, to see the children change as they came to terms with what was happening. More and more they resembled adults, taking the burdens and responsibilities. They almost had more maturity than some adults he knew. Fuyutsuki let his mind wander for a few more moments, then returned to the stack of paper on his desk, his own work needed to get done this day as well. In his office, he hit the monitor button, ending the feed from the room he was watching. Gendo placed his hands together on the desk, and set his chin on them, deep in thought. So, he thought, old friend, you have turned against me have you. You know deep in your soul I am right, yet now oppose me. You have taken Rei from me, and tried to strip me of my power over this base. We shall see who comes out on top, we shall see. Gendo face twisted into a odd smirk as he sat there, contemplating, and planning. -Will Gendo go insane and end up in a padded room -Will Rei become a magicain and float around all the time -Will Toji ever be able to look an apple in the eye again -And will PenPen learn the Macarena Stay tuned for the next installment of Power of Pain Alternate. -Izcer4 Izcer4@rocketmail.com From: Izcer4@rocketmail.com (Izcer4) Okay, here is the next section in Power of Pain Alternate. First off, I want to sincerely apologize for taking so long to get this out. I wish to thank all those who kept e-mailing me asking me to keep going, and bugging about when the next section would be posted. Well here it is. Gratefully we have now gotten past most of the slow hurdles in the plot, only one more to go really, then I can think about wrapping this up. I don't know how many more sections there will be, but at the least there will be 3 more. I am looking, however, for input as to what the angel should look like. My own concepts are a bit rough, so if anyone has any ideas, drop me a line. Once more, comments and suggestions will be read and applied where possible, and flames will be sent to the lower regions of Valhalla for all time -Izcer4 Izcer4@rocketmail.com The original Power of Pain was written by Corey Holmes Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned and copyrighted by Gainax and several other companies with big mean lawyers, and is used without permission. This is a work of FAN-FICTION and should be treated as such Neon Genesis Evangelion:The Power of Pain, Alternate Part 9 by Izcer4 In the SEELE council chambers: "So, Alpha will not be making it today then, pity" "Yes, according to Beta, he will not be doing much of anything for a few days." "What else does Beta have to say on things?" "He reports the regen on Unit 02 is now active, and due to the events of Alpha, 3 is now on prime duty. He also states the chamber used by Alpha will be non-functional for the rest of time as he put it." "I see, does this affect the HIP in any adverse way?" "I do not think so, as 1 is recovering and should be fine. The report also states that 1 and 2 have developed a m-link to their respective weapons, which should be acceptable even considering the loss of facilities." "I take it that Betas' reports are checking out to be truthful?" "As far as Delta and Epsilon are concerned yes, data cross check appear to support no attempt to hide information from us on the part of Beta source." "Hmm, very well. As we agreed we will open the remaining resources that our deal with Beta stipulated." "I wonder, will they be ready should another Angel appear?" "It is against the timeline for one to appear, but if they are not back to full status within another week or so, then there is cause for concern." "Very well, move we adjourn till such time as the scheduled meeting." All five points of light vanished. After classes, the three teens all walked to NERV, slowly, conversing as they went. Shinji knew he was the current active pilot, but did not want to rush. Asuka was going to try and see if she could muster the strength to see her EVA, and Rei. Neither promised to be easy, but she felt she had to. Toji was just tagging along. He said he might check in on his sister, and maybe take a gander down in the heavy bay, to see what was going on down there. The best he was able to get was one of Misato's winking 'you'll see', which gnawed at him as much as they did Shinji. As they exited the lift and entered the base, Toji bid a farewell and went on his way, and Asuka followed Shinji towards the ops center, where he had to check in. After he checked in, Shinji headed towards the locker rooms. Ritsuko needed to see him there, and said to get his plug suit on, in case she needed to test something. Asuka parted ways, heading for the infirmary, and one could see her pace slow the closer that she got to it. Shinji changed into his suit, and entered the lab control room, where Ritsuko was. "You wanted to see me Dr.?" "Yes Shinji, please sit down." Ritsuko responded. "Shinji, before I explain, I want you to know I had no idea it would happen, and that I hope you don't get upset at and think I went back on my word." "What are you talking about Doctor?" "Take a look at this, it's from yesterday," Ritsuko turned the monitors on and began a replay of the test, "We were going along, and then, right after the two of you slumped and jerked, but before Asuka flipped the latches on the plug this happened.." "I see, and please forgive my asking, but what is it?" "As you know, I bypassed the feed backs and shunted them to the dummy plugs, the results were encouraging, but this was strange. In the time period I mentioned, it appears that one or more of the EVA, I cant tell, bypassed my bypass, and got into Asuka's plug. I have no clue how it happened, but it did." "So that what she was talking about.." Shinji thought out loud to himself. "I just wanted to let you know so that....what did you say?" "Nothing really, when we were outside Rei's room at the infirmary, Asuka said she felt something touch her mind, but wasn't sure what it was. Toji also said something similar, but that it felt like there was more than one. I guess this explains it. My guess is Unit 02 reached to Asuka specifically, but I will have to see." "Wait a second, Asuka and Toji felt something. Asuka I could see, but Toji wasn't near the base, and as far as I can make out, hasn't had enough plug time to be able to do that yet." Shinji shrugged "Well, that's what he told me today at lunch. Another leap for science, or another headache for the same. I don't know which, but I believe him in his statement." "Very well." Ritsuko said flatly, rubbing her temples. "May I be excused Doctor?" "Yes, thank you for coming down." Shinji stood and left the room. If Toji could feel it, and Unit 02 touched her, along with all 3 Units going off at once, hmmm. Shinji was thinking to himself, while walking towards the lift to the infirmary. The part concerning Asuka could be understood, the plug test supposed to be a prelude to her seeing her EVA, and touching what was within. But Toji, that was a different story. If he was beginning to sense things, they may have to move faster on Unit 03, for everyone's safety, and Unit 01 has a few questions to answer. Shinji lost himself in thought as he walked down the long hallways. Gendo was in a really foul mood. After finally being allowed to leave the infirmary, and receiving his instructions on his limitations, he proceeded to his office. Once there, he discovered the piles of paperwork he needed to catch up on. Just what I need, he thought, I am incapacitated for a day, and that's when everyone decides to pile the work up. He cursed himself for his own beuracracy, and sat and started going through the stack. He grimaced at the reports on the status of the repairs to Central Dogma, but seeing the headers, he knew he couldn't change anything. He almost threw a fit when he saw the status of Unit 03. He cursed the council and whoever was betraying him, they had allowed for the completion of a device that should not be built as far as he was concerned. He set the stack aside, and turned to his monitors, the official, and unofficial ones. He watched Ritsuko pouring over something, but he couldn't get a good view of the terminal she was at. He saw the Third Child walking the halls in his plug suit, checked the roster, and was appalled to see he was the prime pilot. He checked on Rei remotely, the two guards outside her room, the doctor inside it, and the Second Child a few doors down the hall, along with the Fourth child. Those two need to be watched, he thought. He tried to look into the staging cage, but the monitor was blank, or blocked, he didn't know. He tried to spy on other members of the command staff, but those cameras were blocked also. He sat there, fuming, and reluctantly picked up the stack of work again. In her mind, Rei was awake, and confused. She knew her body was safe, and did not feel any pain. But she was puzzled. How did Shinji and Asuka know she was in trouble. They had never shown any concern for her well being before, well Asuka never did at least. Yet both her and Shinji somehow knew she was in pain, and had rushed to help her. Why did she see the faces of people now dead. They were familiar yes, but that did not explain why they were there. Rei could feel a warmth, it was still all around her. A comfortable warmth she though she knew, yet knew that she didn't. It felt so familiar, yet so alien. She wished the problem would go away, she did not want to go back, not if it meant more pain. She was tired of pain, and wanted to keep the warmth forever. Asuka was surprised at herself. She had made it to Rei's room, and had only paused twice on the way. She mentally forgot that the last 50 feet or so she had to close her eyes, but it was thankfully forgotten. Looking through the glass, at Rei's still form made her wonder. She was a puzzle, Rei was. Her actions were puzzling, her lack of interpersonal skills was worse than Shinji's, she never spoke unless spoken to, and a host of other things. Her red eyes, her almost ghost white skin, although that was beginning to look a lot better. She lacked feminine modesty, and rarely smiled or complained. She just did, and that was all. The changes in her over the last dew days seemed surface at best. Her skin was looking more normal, her voice had begun to have a twinge of life to it, and Asuka could swear she had caught Rei smiling. Asuka sighed, leaned her head against the glass, and mentally tried to reach out Rei, asking her to come back. She then left shortly there after, and never stuck around to see if her request worked. Down in the holding cage, it was pitch blackness, save the dim glow from the eye of Unit 00. Unit 02 was here, and would stay here for a while still, as Asuka was not yet cleared to fight. Unit 01 sat in the staging cage, fully lit, and techs bristling about, ready to launch within 30 seconds or the alert sounding. Asuka stood on the far side of the gantry, looking at the face of Unit 01. She felt a bit of what Shinji felt about these creations. They asked so much of them, the pilots and the EVA's. The people running around, performing check after check. Putting in as much pride and care as they could, imparting their best into making sure this armor plated machine of destruction was ready. Ready to support the pilot, ready to once more stave off the destruction of the world. She stood from her leaning position, done admiring the magnificence that was Unit 01. She turned and walked out of the bay, and returned to her wandering. Toji on the other hand was enjoying his view. He had visited his sister, as was his usual routine. Then he had wandered down to the Heavy Bay, wondering what all the commotion the last few days had been over. Much to his surprise, his ID badge opened the door, so he walked in. He was standing about halfway up the side of the bay. He looked at the cavernous space. It had to be tall enough for almost two EVA's to stand on top of each other. It was wide enough for three prone units to be laying side by side, and long enough for two EVA's to be laying down feet to feet. And in the center of the room, in a construction cradle of enormous size, was something, but Toji did not know what it was. In the cradle was something huge. It looked like a humanoid form, but with a few changes. There were crews literally pouring over it's entire surface. In the center of the chest, which Toji could see quite clearly, was a large red sphere. As the cradle was rotated, Toji caught something that made him almost faint at the sight. As the cradle was turned, the back of the neck came into view, and there sat something Toji had seen only 4 other places. It was a plug entry point. He looked down as saw someone polishing a piece of metal, it was emerald green, with a high shine. The crewman stepped away and took the buffer away, and Toji saw his worst nightmare reborn. On the green plate, in black paint about 4 feet tall, were two number: 03. Toji felt weak in the knees. The rumors were just that, they couldn't be rebuilding it, not after what happened the last time. He knew he was a usable pilot, and that this was most likely meant for him. His mind did a quick replay of his last experience in Unit 03, amplifying the pain of course, as his mind was being cruel. Toji slumped down to the deck grating, terrified and could not move, even if he had wanted to. Asuak looked up, she had been wandering for about 20 minutes, and never even looked where she was going. Her feet just moved, her hands swung, or hit door buttons, all without the mind telling them to. She was thinking, long and deep. About Rei, Toji, Misato, and of course Shinji. What had happened to her, and them, and what it all could possibly mean. She paused, and sighed, listening to the sounds around her. Wherever she was, it was cooler, and large, she could hear the echoing, and the faint thrum of the air circulating equipment. She looked up, and was surprised to see where se was. In front of her, no more than 10 feet form her face, was the form of her EVA. Part of her sunk, but most of her didn't, there were too many other things going on at the moment to turn and run. Her EVA, hers, ever since that day, so many years ago. She looked at it, it's multiple eyes, it shiny red coloring, the same color of her suit. Red, the color of hate, of fear, and of blood. How many times had her anger shown, how many times did she try and hide her fear. She failed to remember the number of times she had hidden behind her pride, afraid, the times she tried to hold herself higher, even to the extent of using her EVA as a lever for that. She stood there, thinking, remembering. Oddly, she found herself more at peace, not fearful, not running, as she would have done just a few days before. She sighed, and her eyes closed. She could feel an slight inner warmth, even knowing the room was chilled, the warmth of...of something familiar, yet still out of reach of the memories. A fuzziness on the edge of her mind, a familiar one, but just soft enough to avoid revealing it's identity. Asuka tentatively took a few steps closer, to the edge of the gantry, within arm's reach of her Unit. Her ram raised, and she ran her hand over the breastplate, feeling the smoothness, and tracing the great numbers painted there. The numbers that linked her to this creation, and the creation to her. She sighed, removed her hand, and continued on, not noticing the faint glow that emanated from the eyes. Back in the Heavy Bay, Toji was still in the grips of fear and anxiety, His breathing was shallow and fast, his eyes still glued open. He was pushed up against the wall, on the grating, to incoherent to even try and find the door out. A distant part of him had heard a technician ring someone, the crew member having seen Toji fall to the floor, and he had heard the door open. But his mind was racing too fast to connect the two logically. "Toji, what is wrong?" A familiar voice said. "Wha..wha..what is that?!?!" He managed to stammer out, pointing to the cradle, his mind still frantic to find an answer "It's the new Unit 03. Completely rebuilt save 2 components." The voice said. "How, why, who, I..." Toji trailed off, still in a state of shock "Well, don't worry, it's safe this time, Toji." Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki bent down, and tried to block Toji's view of the cradle, and bring him back to reality. Toji was still incoherent, he failed to hear the Vice Commander, or even notice as he was hoisted up, and more or less dragged from the bay, back into the hall and placed on a bench. After a few minutes, he gradually pulled his mind back to one piece, and just sat there, staring into the floor, trying to gain a grasp on what he had just seen. Why would they rebuild it, he asked himself. They had been hemming and hawing about angel contamination, and now here they are making another one. The particulars weren't important. They were making a new Unit 03, and somehow Toji knew they would find a way to stick him back in it. He silently rose, and started walking, not caring where his feet let him, and failing to even note the Vice Commander watching him go, without even a word. Fuyutsuki watched as Toji got up and left, seeing his eyes never leave the floor. Perhaps it was a bad idea to allow his ID to open the door, but the damage was done. All he could do is hope it wasn't beyond repair. Walking to a nearby intercom unit, he picked it up, talked for a few moments with someone on the other end, then replaced the receiver and entered the Heavy Bay for his daily inspection of the progress. He emerged close to an hour later, deep in thought over what he now knew. The Unit was progressing nicely. The primary frame was done, and the S2 and plug interface were mounted. Once the tests were done to ensure they were in properly, they could give the Unit is 'focal entity' as they had come to call it. The head engineer said it would be ready in 3 days, and in 10 days after that the EVA would be completely done, ready for initial synching and battle. He guessed he should call Shinji and ask him to verify that what they would be doing was alright. The repercussions if they goofed meant death to everyone, not just the base. If they failed, the world was doomed. Shinji entered Rei's room in the infirmary. He slowly closed the door, and made his way to the bedside. Rei had been out longer than normal, and he and Asuka, along with Misato and the Vice Commander were beginning to worry about her. He knew what she might be going through, having been there himself. He sat down, and thoght, hoping he was making the right choice is doing this. Slowly he placed his hand on Rei's and closed his eyes. Rei was sleeping. She knew not where the bed had come from, but it was warm, and clean, and she felt safer than she ever had. The world around her was a void, just her, the bed, and the lingering image of the woman's face above her. Everything else was shapeless, shifting, no solid form. She did feel a lingering sense of worry, but it didn't feel like it was hers. She happily slumbered, sleeping in that safe, warm spot where she knew no one would ever harm her. She felt a slight wave wash over her, but brushed it off, until... "Rei." A voice said "Rei, can we please talk?" It continued after a moment Rei's mind raced in a scramble trying to remember the voice. It sounded so familiar, in more ways than one, but she couldn't place it by sound alone. "Rei, please.." The voice said softly, not whiny or desperate, but kindly and gently. Rei grudgingly lifted herself to a sitting position, and opened her eyes. Before was Shinji, his soft features showing the concern, and something else, something deeper. How did he get here, she asked herself, I know I am not in reality, but not dead either, so where am I and how did Shinji get here too? "Shinji?" She softly said, "How did you...." "Get here? Long story, but that's not why I came" He replied, and out of nowhere a chair appeared beneath him and he sat down in it. Rei noticed then that while Shinji appeared to be in his plug suit, she was clothed in hers, although just moments ago, she could have sworn that she was in a dressing gown. What is going on here, how is this happening, and why? Shinji glanced up, and looked at the lingering image for a moment before returning his gaze to Rei. "The what and how are easy to explain, the why is a tad more difficult." His voice dropped ion volume "I take then that you know..?" indicating the image above the two of them. "Know what Shinji?" Rei replied. "I'll explain later. How are you feeling?" Rei looked down at the sheets of her floating bed, lost for a minute or two in thought "Good I guess. This isn't real is it?" "Nope, we are your mind..both of us." "It's nice here, I feel so safe. I know it's not real but.." Rei trailed off. "But you wish you could stay here, right?" Shinji asked. Rei just nodded "I don't want to go back to the pain. I am tired of pain. Ever since that time in your EVA I have found myself looking back on what I have seen and done. I am tired of the pain I endure." "Rei, pain will always be there, it is part of being human. The pain my father put you through will never happen again. That machine has been destroyed. No one can take away what you have gained." "Shinji, do you know what I am? Do you know what has happened to me to deserve such kindness from you and the others?" "I know you are my friend. I know you are different, but everyone is that in their own way. I don't care what you are, as long as you are my friend, and I am yours, everything else doesn't matter." "I think you are wrong Shinji. I hate to say it, but I feel I do not deserve what I have been given." "Rei, weather or not you deserve it, you have it, and no one can take that away. Please, I ask you on behalf of myself and all your friends, come back to us. We need you, and not just for NERV. You have become a part of a team, and we need you back." Shinji stood, and the chair beneath him faded out. He then backed away, and began to fade from view, as he left Rei's mind. Rei sat there, thinking. Is it safe to go back, she wondered. Shinji has never lied to me before, but each time I am there, it is painful. Do I stay here, or trust that others need me. I have never felt needed or loved for that matter. What part do I listen to. She looked up, staring at the image above her, as if trying to gain insight into her own self, then laid back down, and went back to sleep, the safety and warmth winning this time. As Shinji stood and was leaving the infirmary, he ran into the Vice Commander. At his request they went to his office where they could talk undisturbed. "How is Rei doing?" "Hard to say. I think she fears a lot of things will happen if she comes back. She feels safe, insulated in her mind. I only hope she realizes we are telling her the truth, and that the pain that put her there can never happen again." "I see. The doctors tell me physically she is fine now, and should have woken up, much the same as you were. But I digress. Toji made his way to the Heavy Bay this afternoon and saw it. He seems troubled by it immensely. The builders also report that the Unit will be ready for its focal entity in about 3 days." Shinji looked to the floor for a few moments. "I can talk to him, see if I can explain. Don't know how much good it will do, but I can try." "That will be enough I think. How goes Asuka's condition?" "Progressing. She knows a lot of the basics I guess you would call them. I saw her end up by her EVA earlier, and she more of less visited Rei. She is getting back on her feet slowly, but the changes are definitely for the better." "I agree completely with you there, Shinji. Almost everyone likes the happy Asuka to the old bitter one..." "Is that all sir? I am supposed to be on duty, even though I don't agree with it." "Yes, thank you Shinji. I know you don't agree with it, but right now you are the only flight capable pilot we have, and I appreciate your understanding." Shinji stood, bowed and quietly left, returning to his duties. Fuyutsuki smiled as he saw the boy leave. So much like his mother, he thought. It was becoming enjoyable again to come to work, to see the children change as they came to terms with what was happening. More and more they resembled adults, taking the burdens and responsibilities. They almost had more maturity than some adults he knew. Fuyutsuki let his mind wander for a few more moments, then returned to the stack of paper on his desk, his own work needed to get done this day as well. In his office, he hit the monitor button, ending the feed from the room he was watching. Gendo placed his hands together on the desk, and set his chin on them, deep in thought. So, he thought, old friend, you have turned against me have you. You know deep in your soul I am right, yet now oppose me. You have taken Rei from me, and tried to strip me of my power over this base. We shall see who comes out on top, we shall see. Gendo face twisted into an odd smirk as he sat there, contemplating, and planning. Time seemed to speed up overall. Shinji and Asuka had many sessions, Asuka getting stronger each time. She was learning to control herself as well, learning to adjust to what she had become, and forget what she had been. She was happier too. She and Shinji daily went to see Rei, who still refused to wake up. Asuka herself could now almost walk through the infirmary without hesitating. Shinji was pleased at this, and her progress. He was, however, worried about Toji. It had been 4 days, and no sign of him. He skipped school. wouldn't answer his phone, and didn't even visit his sister in that time. He was concerned for him, as this was not like him at all. It was also getting close to the day when Unit 03 would receive it focal entity, and Shinji felt it important Toji had the explanation before that point. Gendo had remained holed up in his office for the most part, only taking calls and audiences that were absolutely needed. The general demeanor of the base was quiet peaceful tension. Rei awakened and sat up in her little world, and looked around. It was drab yes, and lonely. She stayed here because of the warmth, not wanting to go back. She sensed the concern around here, but forced it back for the security of this place. She had no concept of time passage here, and she knew it. The translucent head of that woman from her past always there, watching her, the smile never leaving her face, but the concern could be seen in her eyes. Rei could sense her guardian wanted her to go back, but she still refused to believe Shinji's words that the pain she felt would be gone. This confused her. She had learned much, felt the yearnings of things she wanted more of, yet still feared something, perhaps it was the thing that Shinji used to fear in his father. Rei thought some more. Shinji had never lied to her, and now it was clear that Gendo had, on several occasions. The man she thought she could trust had done this to her, made her feel such pain as she had never known. She felt warmth and something else around the other pilots, and Misato. That fuzzy feeling when she looked back on things that had happened, and she could feel herself blush, for she had looked it up what that meant. She looked at her arms, pink. She remembered her skin used to be almost white, and yet now it was closer to the others. Still pale, but better. Rei smiled at this, and it felt good. She liked, if that was the right word, being closer to normal, not seeming so out of place when with other people. She guessed this was a gift from Shinji's EVA, but how she arrived at that answer was a mystery. She looked up, and sort of sighed as she stared at the floating head above her. She went through this train of thought every time she woke form her naps within mind. Each time feeling a little closer to an answer, but it was always out of reach. She just looked up and sighed again., watching and looking for any sign of anything from the head. It simply looked concerned and smiled. Whenever Rei thought about going back, the head would nod, but that was about it. Rei laid back down and just thought. She was at odds with herself. A part of her wanted, needed, yearned to go back. To see everyone, Shinji a bit more than others maybe, but it was there. Another part of her wanted to stay safe, be protected. She didn't know what part to listen to, desires being alien to her for all but the last few days of her life. She sat there for a few more moments, then made up her mind. She laid back down in her imaginary bed and closed her eyes, as her mental safety world began to dissolve. Her eyes fluttered open a few moment later, being greeted by the sound of beeping monitors, and a few guests who had fell asleep in her room watching her. She smiled, she knew she did. Here, in front of here were friends, Shinji and Asuka, both asleep in chairs as they watched over her. She suddenly felt good, a warm delicious fuzzy feeling enveloping her body as she just settled against her pillow, once more in the real world. To be continued...... -Will Gendo get the revenge he seeks, or be laughed at by everyone? -Will Toji accept the fate he now has? -Will Pen-Pen ever learn the Macarena Some of these may be answered in the next installment of Power of Pain There you go, have fun. Feel free to drop me line, if you like, dislike, or notice any gross mistakes in grammar or spelling, or if you happen to see a recipe for brownies someplace in there (you never know) -Izcer4 Izcer4@rocketmail.com