From: Mister Panda ***********************W*A*R*N*I*N*G************************ NOTE: Neon Genesis Evangelion and the following fanfic express religious and moral views which may not coincide with your own. This fic contains spoilers. Also, the Angels from here on out are not in order of the original series. Please read at your own risk. Thank you for your time. ************************************************************ Neon Genesis Evangelion (C) GAINAX / Project Eva. * TV Tokyo * NAS Released in North America by A.D.V. Films. Planning and Original Story: GAINAX This story takes over after NGE 0:6 (ep 12) and has been affected by the events contained within those episodes. ------------------------------------------------------------ Prologue: Throughout the course of human existence and evolution it has always been known that there was a beginning and end of the great process we humans have labeled as life. Time acts as a container of all life and all things living happen into this container. Within this container is also the end, which is the passing on to a place wherein time has no effect and no standing what so ever. This end is known as death and this place, to the living, is known as the afterlife. The afterlife is a place wherein a soul may live through the rest of eternity, or forever, in whichever manner it so desires or it so chooses to do so. This is usually to the exclusion of any other souls, however, as many people have different desires and everyone has a different way of doing things. Because of this, each soul inhabits a different reality once it reaches the afterlife. These realities may meet certain parallels at which the souls experiencing each reality may lapse into the same reality, either forever or until one of the soul's realities splits apart and follows a different path from then on. There are times, however, where two souls have been so closely bound in life that they will never be seperated in the afterlife because of one simple thing: One could not exist for the rest of forever without the other. Feelings such as deep-seeded friendship as well as love create these bonds. Not even death can destroy them. This story is about two such souls, whose destinies, desires, and fates intermingle and intertwine. ------------------------------------------------------------ Presenting- An original Neon Genesis Evangelion fanfiction by: Mark Eymer (saotome@micron.net) Neon Genesis Evangelion It's Just Been One of Those Lives Chapter 1 ------------------------------------------------------------ It had not been a good day for Asuka Langley Soryu. The German redhead had been awake for a total of twenty three and a half minutes and the day already looked rather bleak. Furthermore, Asuka was hungry. Now, this wouldn't have presented such a problem had it been her day for cooking and such, but as luck would have it, it just so happened to be Shinji's. Regularly, this also wouldn't have presented much of a problem but Murphy's Law provided for such things. Shinji had stayed up late studying for a test upon the morrow and was yet to awaken. He had deprived himself of sleep until around two in the morning... precious sleep which he was now catching up on. "Alright, then. Shinji, you're just going to have to get up." Asuka resolutely entered the Third Child's room with a mission. She would wake the slumbering pilot if it were the last thing she ever did, provided she didn't lose interest in the task in the meantime. Rotating the blinds to a horizontal position, Asuka introduced light into the otherwise dark environment. This seemingly had no effect on Shinji, who simply snorted and continued slumbering. Alright, thought Asuka to herself, if he wants it that way... Moving to Shinji's side, Asuka began beckoning to him while gently shaking his shoulder and standing over him. This also had no effect. Turning slightly red, Asuka stormed to her room, and retrieved her alarm clock. Returning, she plugged it in, set the time to 12:00 AM and the alarm to 12:01 AM. She then turned the volume up to its maximum and placed the noisebomb next to Shinji's head. Asuka grinned evilly and held her ears to block the forthcoming onslaught. The alarm exploded into action a few seconds later, announcing its presence in that annoying way that alarm clocks do, usually making you bash it with a good sized sledge. Shinji seemed totally oblivious to this, and Asuka was contracting a strange affliction of the hearing commonly referred to as a ringing in the ears. Shutting off the device, she glared at the slumbering boy. "Alright, that's it, Shinji! You asked for it!" Acquiring a cold glass of water from the small kitchen sported by the apartment, Asuka returned to the room and charged the prone EVA pilot. Shinji didn't even see it coming. This was, in part, because he had his eyes closed in the thrall of slumber, but it still would have surprised him had he been awake at the time. The water struck Shinji full in the face causing him to... turn over, mumble incoherently, and continue to snore. "What?!" Asuka couldn't believe it. Climbing upon the bed, she began jumping up and down. "You want it that way, you got it, Ikari!" The one thing Asuka wasn't expecting was the sudden movement by Shinji to pull the covers more tightly about his form. This had the effect of unceremoniously dumping the redhead onto her backside. "Why you..." Asuka was practically steaming, her face the same hue as her hair. Mounting the bed a final time, she sat atop the Third Child and began to beat on his chest and shake his shoulders while calling his name. It had not been a good day for Asuka Langley Soryu and it was yet to get any better. ------------------------- "Shinji... Wake up, Shinji!... SHINJI!" Deep in his dream, the voice registered, making Shinji Ikari's subconcious to yelp in fear as it backed away. As he began to wake from his slumber, Shinji noticed a few things. Firstly, his eyes registered a red blur which seemed to be shaking him and kept shouting his name in a familiar voice which his sleep addled brain could not place just yet. Secondly, he noticed that afore mentioned red blur (we shall call this anomaly "Red Blur" from hereon until its identity is revealed) had a pleasant aroma which tickled Shinji's nose. It smelled distinctively of girl. "Shinji Ikari! Wake up!" Thinking nothing more than about wanting to return to sleep, Shinji was fully prepared to dismiss his earlier observations, turn over, dump "Red Blur" onto the floor, and go back to sleep. About to execute this plan, something suddenly happened. Two somethings, to be exact, bounced (bounced?!) off his chest. Red Blur seemed to be shaking him, causing these "things" to bounce upon his upper body. Shinji's eyes suddenly snapped into abrupt focus and Red Blur resolved itself to be none other than Asuka Langley Soryu, designated pilot of Evangelion Unit 02 and housemate of Misato Katsuragi and Shinji Ikari. Shinji racked his brain and, although Asuka was flagged as a housemate, he found nothing describing the promotion to roommate, let alone bedmate... and why was his pillow wet?... "Finally! Dummkopf! How long did you intend to sleep?!" scolded an irate Asuka. Ready with a snappy retort, having suddenly grown an ounce of backbone, Shinji's brain connected three facts. Namely, Red Blur hadn't moved yet, Red Blur was Asuka, and Asuka was... straddling him? Asuka, being a very shapely (for fourteen) redhead who was a romantic interest of Shinji's, had more than piqued his... curiosity. Said piqued curiosity was currently beginning to make quiet a bulge in his pants. Blood began to drain from Shinji's head to places lower (as it tends to do for any male beholding a female in skimpy night clothing) and he panicked. Backpedaling from a sitting position (quite a feet if you've ever seen it done), Shinji found himself airborne as his bed didn't like the idea of backpedaling with him. A surprised Asuka had no choice but to fall with, or more acurrately, shortly after Shinji. Shinji hit the floor with a thud, followed by Asuka landing on top of him. This did amazing things for her chest when mashed against Shinji's own, and did things Shinji would rather not like to think about to his... curiosity. Asuka began to push herself up, again sitting atop Shinji, and placed her arms to either side of his head for balance. This was the precarious scene that Misato Katsuragi walked in on as she opened the sliding door to see what could cause such an ungodly amount of racket (other than her, according to Kaji, of course). Looking to Asuka, who was currently on top of Shinji with puckered lips and little clothing, Misato produced a large bead of sweat. She then took in Shinji's expression which was a mixter of surprise and something else... fear maybe? Or was there a lecherous gleam to his eyes?! Finding her voice, she spoke, "I... I never knew you were so.. so... aggressive, Asuka... Uh... I'll just leave you two alone..." Quickly turning, Misato closed the door behind her as she retreated to the bath and her own introspection. Asuka sighed, planted her head in her hands, and shook it back and forth in defeat. "Scheisse. It's already turning out to be a horrible day." Shinji could only stare at the beautiful girl currently astride him. A large bead of sweat rolled down his head as his... curiosity... nagged at him. Shinji just hoped Asuka wouldn't notice. He didn't relish the thought of dying at such a young age... ------------------------- Misato Katsuragi eased herself backwards into the hot water of the bath. Relishing the feel of the warmth soaking into her and relaxing the sleep from her muscles, she began to ponder upon the unexpected sight she had witnessed within the confines of Shinji's room. Firstly, she wondered, how had Asuka ended up on top of Shinji in the first place? She knew that Asuka was aggressive by nature, as shown in Asuka's second battle with an Angel. She had attacked on a whim without following op- codes or even standard procedure. Shinji had berated her for it, but Asuka had done an impressive job of disposing of the Angel... up until it had split into two seperate Angels and continued its rampage, anyhow. Asuka had definitely shown an aggressive streak that Misato would later lable as "youthful eagerness" or "a willingness to take charge". That aggression may have been the reason Misato had found the two as she did. Still, however... Misato wouldn't have thought of Asuka as that "youthfully eager" or that "willing to take charge"... She also suspected that Asuka might hold some kind of affinity for the younger Ikari, but to act so brashly as to suddenly decide to pursue Shinji, Misato just couldn't picture. Then again, this was Asuka. While wondering what actual time Asuka had had to decide to go after Shinji like that, something occured to Misato. Remembering back to another instance which also involved the self-replicating Angel, Misato recalled the time at which she had had to leave Shinji and Asuka home alone for an entire night. Misato quietly began mulling the implications over in her mind. She had left a hormone charged teenaged boy and an overly aggressive teenaged girl alone, sleeping next to each other, all night long. "My god..." Misato whispered, "What could those two have done..." Horrified at what she might have caused to happen (especially since she wouldn't have been there to see it), Misato was out of the tub and wrapped in a towel in the record time of 5.764 seconds. It was now understandable how Asuka could have gone for Shinji, though. He did strike Misato as the type who had a kind of charm about him. An endearing quality. She couldn't describe it, really, but, single-handedly, without trying, he was just so cute, which was one of the reasons Misato, herself, liked him so much. She'd never admit to it, but she really did like Shinji. A lot. He was not that sociable a person, but he had a magnetism that just seemed to draw you in. She resolved that Shinji must have somehow entranced Asuka with his magnetism and she had begun holding a certain affinity for him. More than any simple affinity, guessing from the way she was... straddling him. My, Misato began thinking to herself, kids these days move much quicker in relationships. And I thought we adults were bad. Sheesh. Grinning evilly, she resolved to get the truth out of the two if it was the last thing she ever did. It just wouldn't be right for her to miss out on perfectly good material she could use to tease (torment) the two about later on. Of course, she never considered the fact that the earlier scene could have very well been nothing more than a mere circumstantial misunderstanding. Then again, the Operations Director of NERV needn't trifle herself with trivial notions such as mistakes or misunderstandings, right? Misato decided to confront the two about the earlier incident later. Right now, she wanted a beer. Maybe three. ------------------------- Asuka. A whisper, barely audible among the ring of silence, escaped the lips of Shinji Ikari, "Asuka..." Since the day he had met her, Shinji had had an extremely annerving problem. Namely, he could not get that girl, Asuka Langley Soryu, out of his head. For all her teasing and all her obnoxiousness, he couldn't find a way to really dislike her. She could be an annoyance at times, but Shinji couldn't hold that against her, for some reason. She also drove him to anger, but that soon passed as well, for the younger Ikari. Her aggression and independence, while pushing him away, also excited him for unknown reasons. Shinji had known her for a truly short time, yet, whenever he beheld her, his blood seemed to run faster in his veins. Another part of his brain also argued that for all her attributes, Asuka had a few set backs as well, such as her rash and often hastily made decisions. She also had a serious problem with authority. This had been readily demonstrated when she had disregarded procedures to simply attack the first Angel she had ever come into contact with. Shinji somewhat disputed that last thought, however, justifying her actions by the fact that is she hadn't attacked, a lot of innocent people would have died. Shinji could admit that he was truly beguiled by the young redhead. Who wouldn't be, he began thinking, until recalling Touji and Kensuke's common reaction to her. Alright, he ammended, who--other than those two-- wouldn't be? But, how could he measure up to her standards? Asuka was completely and thoroughly taken with Kaji, much to the consternation of Misato. Shinji suspected that Misato felt more for Kaji than outwardly apparent... He shook that stray thought away and returned to his current focus, Asuka. Obviously, he could never measure up to Kaji, being nothing like him. How could she expect such high standards from him? How could she expect Shinji to change who he was until it conformed to something that wasn't him? Suddenly, it hit him. She didn't want him to be like Kaji. To Shinji, the only obvious conclusion was this: Asuka did not want him at all. "Asuka Langley Soryu..." Shinji sighed deeply. His heart painfully ached to be with that wonderful girl that he had so scarcely seen in Asuka. The caring, fragile, beautiful girl that she kept chained inside of her, masked by some unknown pain. When it came down to it, pain was one of the only things they shared in common. Pain was also the last thing Shinji would have ever wanted to share with Asuka. "Oh, Asuka..." Shinji began, "why am I doing this to myself over you?" Sighing, Shinji retrieved his school bag and quietly exited his room, readying himself for the rest of the day. Clearing his mind of all thoughts pertaining to Asuka, Shinji entered the apartment's small kitchen. He had breakfast to prepare. ------------------------- A ring of the doorbell was all the warning Shinji required. Hefting his school bag he bid farewell to Misato and practically shoved Touji Suzuhara and Kensuke Aida, his classmates and best friends, out the door in his rush to depart. "Hey, Ikari! What gives?!" Inquired a slightly irritated Touji. "Hmm?... Oh, nothing. Let's just go, ok?" Replied Shinji, a distant look to his features. The three began their daily walk to school in silence. Leaning over to his cohort, Kensuke whispered to Touji, "What d'ya think's wrong with him today?" Shrugging to Kensuke, Touji hushedly replied, "I'm not sure, but I'll bet it has something to do with Asuka, that witch." Kensuke replied with a conspiratorial nod. Indeed Asuka was the only thing on Shinji's mind. Particularly, her behavior during breakfast. She hadn't paid him an ounce of attention, other than to bark at him for his tardiness in the preparing the meal, and then she hadn't even eaten most of it. Shinji could not, for the life of him, understand girls. Misato was beginning to become a little easier to read, but Asuka remained the enigma she had always been. The more he got to know her the more he realized he didn't know her. She baffled him. She had gone to all that trouble to wake him up to cook breakfast, and then hadn't eaten more than a few bites of it. Something just didn't add up. Aside from the ordeal at breakfast, she had also seemed somewhat distant when he tried approaching her about the morning. She had simply told him to go away and ask her later. That was before she had disappeared into the bathroom, however. To Shinji's knowledge, she had been there until he had left. Sighing, he let himself slip deeper into the recesses of thought. And why did she-- "IKARI!" Shinji was interrupted by Touji yelling in his ear. "What do you want?!" shouted Shinji in reply. "We were just wondering what's on your mind," answered Kensuke. Shinji stared incredulously at the two for a moment before sighing. "Nothing. Nothing at all." Kensuke and Touji gave each a knowing look. Nothing incites suspicion like evasive action. ------------------------- Asuka sat against the bathroom's sliding door with her head in her hands. The painful memories of her mother's suicide always chose seemingly peaceful moments to resurface and haunt her. During breakfast, for example, Asuka had been calmly sitting, awaiting the meal she had strived so hard to get, when she was suddenly taken up with thoughts of her mother. Things she hadn't even realized she knew suddenly came flooding back into her head with surprising clarity. How she had smelled. How she had moved. How she had sounded. Asuka couldn't remember any of these things upon normal reflection, however she had suddenly recalled those facts with frightening clarity. It had been as if she was reliving that horrible day all over again. That was when Shinji had approached her asking to talk to about something. She hadn't been paying much attention to him at the time and thus had not picked up what else he had said. She had muttered some excuse and had run for the bathroom. How could she let him see her like this? She was a pillar of strength and confidence. She couldn't crumble in front of Shinji... not that wimp. Especially in the memory of her mother. Her mother who would never return. Asuka's mother who had taken her own life-- No! She wouldn't! She would not drive her thoughts back to that time. The time that Asuka Langley Soryu had been forced to give up her childhood. The time she had been pushed into a painful and lonely reality where she had found her mother... attached to a noose. Shaking the horrible thoughts from her head, Asuka wiped a stray tear from her eye. She had to be strong. Had to be strong for herself. Her strength was the only thing that mattered now. It was the only thing she had left. Asuka buried the memories and pain under her usual veil of confidence and arrogance. She built her crumbled walls back up in preparation of the upcoming day. Hearing Shinji make his exit, Asuka rose to her feet and left the bathroom. She would never admit it later on, but Asuka had thought of Shinji Ikari, as well. She thought of the boy who could raise her hopes and her spirits. The boy who had saved her life on a few occasions. A painful crack began to appear in Asuka's barriers as memories of her mother's betrayal began to resurface again. Asuka's mother had sacrificed it all. She had refused to be saved... even from herself. ------------------------- School hadn't gone as well as Shinji had expected it to. Lecture after boring lecture had nearly driven him to the wonderful obliviousness of sleep. Shinji never realized before that the subject of life before the Second Impact, the wonderful twentieth century, could be so boring. Hearing of the pre-Impact years also brought somber thoughts to his head, however. Those years had held nothing but a gloomy, corrupted and utterly hopeless time which was masked by an unwarranted optimism throughout the people for a better tomorrow. That optimism had exploded in their faces along with the continent of Antarctica. The Second Impact had killed over half of the world's population and plunged humanity into its darkest hour. This fact troubled Shinji's conciousness. He had been concieved upon this catastrophic event. Asuka and Rei had also obviously been concieved, as well. With a new pathway to follow, Shinji's wandering mind turned to the subject of Asuka. She had completely tuned him out throughout the entire day which had only succeeded in adding to his dark mood. She hadn't even spared him so much as a sideways glance. After the lunch hour she had seemed to have returned to her old self, trading conversation with friends and even sparing the time to insult Shinji a time or two. However, there had been something in her eyes. He had seen the masked pain as clear as day. You don't live with someone for an extended period of time without learning something about them. To top off all of these events, Shinji was currently sitting in an entry plug, breathing LCL. B type harmonics tests were among some of Shinji's least favorite pasttimes. Some of those other activities included being near boiled, being near killed, and being near Asuka when she was in a bad mood. Basically, he hated the synch tests. As the plug was dipped increasingly further into the contaminated area, Shinji concentrated more on the test going on around him. Thoughts of the day slipped from his head as sweat began to bead at his brow from his continued mental effort. ------------------------- In the control room opposite of the testing area, Misato Katsuragi stood, stunned at the results which were currently being produced by Shinji Ikari, the Third Child. He was currently passing Rei Ayanami and even Asuka Langley Soryu's current readings. His harmonics had far exceeded even Ritsuko Akagi's speculations of what he might have achieved by now. It was almost as if he had been born for the sole purpose of piloting an Eva... Flipping on the intercom into the entry plug of Unit 01, she prepared to announce the news to him to help raise his morale. It will be good for him to have some successes, she thought to herself. "Shinji?... Shinji, are you there?" An excited reply greeted her ears, "Oh! Hey, Misato! What can I do for you?" "Listen up, Shinji... Your synch rate has passed Rei and Asuka's. You're number one!" Misato beheld Shinji's shining eyes through the entry plug's video link and her heart leapt in her chest. It was so good to see his confidence grow. He needed it, poor boy, Misato thought to herself as she shut down the video and comm links into the entry plug and ordered the children to the showers. The test results were gathered and it was time for celebration in light of Shinji's personal victory. Time for beer. Misato always looked forward to a good excuse to get thoroughly sloshed. In the entry plug of Unit 02, a redheaded soul sat in an unnatural silence with her head bowed in defeat. As Asuka Langley Soryu waited to be released from her plug by the NERV Technical Crew, a lone tear ran down her cheek. There would be no celebration for her tonight. She had lost. She had lost to Shinji Ikari... ------------------------- Somewhere in Tokyo-3 a strange silence permeated the area. Flocks of birds could be seen making a hasty retreat from the mysteriously deserted streets as a large, eliptical shadow moved from beneath a car into the surrounding city. Soon after the shadow had fully uncovered itself, another strange object entered the area. A large sphere, about 600 meters in diameter, appeared above the shadow. The sphere itself was covered in a strange recurring pattern of black and white stripes, seemingly random in placement. Moving at an agonizingly slow pace, the giant sphere and its enigmatic shadow began to steadily traverse Tokyo-3. An Angel was roaming. ------------------------- "Evactuation of the western district underway." The floating object which had recently appeared in the skies of Tokyo-3 had not gone unnoticed by NERV. A computer synthesized voice was currently outlining which procedure was currently underway in preparation for the new entity. Misato burst into the central command center of NERV while still pulling on her jacket. An annoyed Ritsuko turned an unapproving glance the woman's way and shouted, "You're late, Major!" Withering under the gaze, Misato totally avoided the observation, "What's going on?!" Hyuga was the first to respond. "Pattern orange. No AT field detected. It suddenly appeared out of nowhere!" "A new type of Angel?!" Ritsuko asked. "Unknown, ma'am," replied Maya Ibuki. "The Magi are currently withholding their judgment on that." Looking to the Commander's platform of the command center Misato sighed. "Just perfect that the commander isn't here again. Launch Eva's 00, 01, and 02. Destroy that Angel." ------------------------- As the sphere slowly passed through buildings inside the city, Unit 01 beheld it from a somewhat safe vantage. Shinji was currently behind a highrise with a small pistol. Misato's voice suddenly came over the communications port of the Eva. "Shinji, Asuka, Rei... I've sent you all of the known target data. That's currently all we have on the Angel so far. Attack normally and try to observe it's reaction. Try to lure it outside the city if at all possible. Back each other up, as well." Not having rid the earlier defeat from her mind, Asuka smugly commented, "Don't you think Shinji ought to take point, though?" She put as much sarcasm as she could muster into the next part in an attempt to irk Shinji. "It would only be fair that the point position go to the highest synch ratio of them all, don't you think?" Shinji turned to regard Asuka's Eva with a hint of distaste evident in his expression. Damn how she could push him to the limit sometimes... Replying without thinking he shouted, "Fine, Asuka! I'll show -you- how to do it!" "What was that?!" was Asuka's unbelieving reply. "Stop fighting, you two!" came Misato's moderating voice. "Combat's a man's job! And besides, I have the best synch ratio, right Misato?" Shinji's visual link closed down, leaving a stewing Asuka and slightly perplexed Rei. "Unit 02 will back him up. Stupid jerk." "Unit 00 will back up, as well." Both Rei and Asuka's links closed and the children moved into position. ------------------------- Misato frowned. "I don't believe these kids." Ritsuko smugly replied, "Shinji's hormones are kicking in, aren't they?" "I'll have to chew him out when he gets back." Ritsuko smirked. "Of course, you're the model guardian." Misato gave her a withering gaze. ------------------------- Shinji silently waited for the Angel behind a large building. "Ayanami, Asuka, are you in position yet?" "Eva 00 is still getting there." Asuka's annoyed response soon followed Rei's calmer reply, "You know an Eva can't move that fast you twit!" Sighing in resignation, Shinji remained in wait. An eternity seemed to pass and his anxiety finally got the better of him. Turning around the corner he quickly took aim and fired three shots at the floating sphere. The sphere suddenly disappeared, leaving only the smoking trails of the three expired rounds in the sky. ------------------------- Ritsuko surged forward in surprise, "It vanished!" Hyuga shouted out the current readings, "Pattern blue! Angel confirmed! And it's right under Unit 01!" "Shinji!" Misato shouted. ------------------------- At Shinji's feet the shadow seemed to surge into place and morphed into a quicksand like mass. He watched, mind frozen in terror as he began to slowly sink into the shadow. Firing three rounds into the black mass, he didn't even dent the entity. Panicked, he looked skyward, only to see that sphere, floating menacingly above him as he continued to slowly sink into the shadow. "Misato! What the hell is going on here?! Misato!!" "Ikari!" Rei's voice worriedly shouted over the comm link. Asuka's soon followed, "Idiot! Get out of there!" Shinji's Eva had sunk to neck depth in the shadow, and was still going. Fear gripped his very being as the Eva's head finally passed below the shadow. "Misato! Misato! Help me! Misa--" Radio contact to Eva 01 suddenly went black. "Shinji!" Misato yelled. ------------------------- Both Eva 00 and 02 had been ordered to pull back after the failed attempt to rescue Unit 01. They returned with heavy hearts. After reeling back in the umbilical cable of Unit 01 and finding no Shinji at the other end, Ritsuko soon calculated that Shinji had a total of about sixteen hours of energy left in the Eva, provided that he didn't go groping around blindly in the dark and kept the Eva in the lowest life support mode. Misato, Asuka, Rei, and a group of other NERV personnel had met toward the outskirts of Tokyo-3. On the embankment of the mountain they were currently stationed at they quietly looked on at the sphere which dominated the skyline. It had not moved as of late, and its shadow had stopped expanding some time ago. The entire thing had gone completely and utterly silent... with no signs of Shinji. Misato lowered her observation goggles at the sound of Asuka's voice. "Well, taking matters into his own hands, I guess he got what he deserved. Just because he got a better score than mine, why'd he have to try to show me how it ought to be done?" Turning around from her vantage of Eva 00 and 02, Asuka forced a laugh. "Dummkopf!" Rei stepped suddenly in front of Asuka with an eerily angered expression upon her pale features. "What?! Are my comments about Shinji pissing you off, Wondergirl?!" Asuka shouted in Rei's face. "I wonder," Rei calmly replied, "do you only pilot an Eva for the praise of others?" "What do you mean?! I don't need anyone's approval but my own!" "Cut it out, you two," Misato cut in. "Asuka's right. He acted without consulting anyone." Looking less certain of herself, she added, "I guess... I'll just have to punish him when he comes back..." The three stood in silence, looking at the shadow and the sphere... wondering how Shinji was. If he was alive. ------------------------- Shinji Ikari was alive. He was currently sitting in his entry plug, thinking. One tends to let one's mind wander a little when one has had twelve hours to oneself to think. "I never knew doing nothing could be this exhausting." Connecting the nerve links to the Eva, Shinji took another look into the void he was currently inside. Nothing but white noise. Looking to his plug suit's timer, he noted the time he had currently been inside the Eva. "My life will end in three or four hours." "I'm hungry." ------------------------- "You mean the shadow is actually its body?!" Misato questioned. "Yes," replied Ritsuko, "its body is an inverse AT field and inside that space is a region that can only be defined using abstract mathematics, a Sea of Dirac. Another universe, maybe." "Then what about the sphere?" "The sphere in the sky seems to disappear whenever the imaginary circuit to the body closes. This implies that the sphere is a shadow of sorts." "So the sphere isn't the enemy... the shadow is..." "Then there's no way we can fight it," Asuka quietly added. ------------------------- The LCL surrounding Shinji suddenly began to exhibit a cloudiness. Needless to say, this didn't escape Shinji's immediate attention. "No! The LCL purification system has gone down!" On the verge of complete and utter panic, Shinji also noticed something else. "This place smells like blood!" This had gone unquestioned before, but in his current state, Shinji was quite frightened by this. Reaching above himself, he began to pull at the hatch release mechanism to the entry plug. The mechanism that would not work. He began to beat on the inside of the entry plug as he shouted, "Help! Somebody help me! I hate this place! Let me out! Misato! Ayanami! Asuka! Help! Ritsuko!..." A strangled sob escaped his lips as he called out the last person he would ever want help from, "Father..." "Someone help me," Shinji whimpered as he broke down under the mental strain and began to cry. ------------------------- "You're going to blow the shadow up?!" "I'm afraid it's our only viable option," replied Ritsuko calmly. "The plan is to drop all 992 existing N2 mines into the targets center. If we can use the AT fields of both the remaining Evas we can disrupt the hypothetical circuit that encloses the Angel. "If we can utilize all of the explosive power in that same microsecond, then we can destroy the Durak Sea that makes up the Angel's body, as well as the Angel itself." "But what about the pilot?!" Misato asked. "Shinji wouldn't survive!" "Our top priority is to get Eva back, even if it has to be destroyed to do so." "Now wait a second!" "Under these conditions the pilot's life is irrelevant." These words his Misato with more force than anything else ever had. An uncontrollable rage awakened inside of her and she suddenly lashed out, slapping Ritsuko across the face. Ritsuko placed a hand to her stinging cheek and angrily shouted, "It's your responsibility if Shinji's lost, Misato! Need I remind you of that?! I'm taking full control of this operation, effective immediately!" That said, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi took her leave. The Second Impact, The Instumentality Project, Adam, there are so many things I'm in the dark about. Misato's troubled mind began to question NERV's real purpose for the first time. ------------------------- What was that?! Who? Who?... Shinji Ikari. That's me! I am you. The self incorporates another self. The self has always been composed of two selves. Two? Yes, the self which is observed and the self which obeserves the self. To exbound, there is the Shinji Ikari in Asuka Langley Soryu's mind, the Shinji Ikari in Rei Ayanami's mind, the Shinji Ikari in Misato Katsuragi's mind and the Shinji Ikari in Gendo Ikari's mind. All are true Shinji Ikaris. What you fear is the Shinji Ikaris that exist in the mind's of others. I'm just afraid of being hated. You're afraid of being hurt. Who is bad? Father is. The father who deserted us. No, I'm bad! I'm worthless... I thought I hated my father, but now I'm not sure. Will you live the rest of your life recalling those few pleasant memories? Everyone does it. That's how everyone survives! You have been shutting your eyes to that which you wish to avoid. No, I don't want to hear this! You're doing it again. No one can justify their own existence by encorporating their happiest memories into some sort of rosarie. Why won't you leave me alone?!... ------------------------- "The entry plug energy reserves should be reaching about zero by now. It's life support systems should be at redline soon." "Well," began Ritsuko Akagi, "we'll forward the plan by nine minutes. Let's do this while there's a possibility that Shinji's still alive." ------------------------- "Cold. So cold." Shinji sat inside his entry plug, curled into a ball. He shivered slightly. "All the heat systems and the oxygen is giving out," he weakly observed. Clenching his eyes as he curled himself tighter, he whimpered, "I'm so cold..." "This is the end... So tired- of everything. So tired-" Shinji's eyes closed and his face relaxed, leaving him with a serene look. Peace had found the tortured soul of Shinji Ikari. ------------------------- He suddenly felt a presence around him. Something against his cheek, and he was floating in the arms of a beautiful woman. The woman was transparent, and seemed to glow somehow. "Mother?.." Shinji weakly asked, as he realized that he was completely naked, like the woman. "Is this enough? Well, that's good for you," a voice played in Shinji's mind. A voice he could scarcely recall ever hearing. The voice of his mother. Shinji blurrily opened his eyes to behold an empty entry plug... and everything went black. ------------------------- "Both units standing by. T-minus 60 seconds to mine drop," announced a voice over the NERV intercom. Indeed, both Asuka and Rei were stationed in their Eva's just beside the boundaries of the Angel's body. Looking into the black void before them, neither could believe that Shinji was about to be lost... forever. A red crack suddenly split the entire shadow at its center, starting at the edge and running into the middle. "What the hell is that?!" shouted Asuka in surprise. Chunks of the void before her seemed to be breaking away from the shadow as the entire body began to quake and tremble. Waves seemed to play across the surface. In the command center, an air of general uncertainty had asserted itself as NERV personnel tried vainly to find out what was going on. "What's happening?!" asked Misato as alarm after was set off around her and the rest of the staff. "The gauges are going off the scale," replied Maya Ibuki. "Something's happening -inside- the Angel!" All eyes turned to the sphere as it began to distort itself. All color faded from the giant ball and it turned completely black before an arm tore through the side of it, followed shortly by an enormous spray of blood. The arm began to pull at the opening, revealing the head of an Evangelion. Blood sprayed from the ravaged sphere as the Eva tore itself free from its prison and the newly released Unit 01 opened its mouth in defiance and roared mightily. "My God," mouthed Ritsuko Akagi as she watched in horrified silence as the Eva struggled against its adversary to get free. The sides of the sphere tore completely apart, leaving the Eva to fall freely to the ground. Solidified shadow gave way as the Evangelion landed, surrounded by the gory remains of the sphere as they rained down upon the surrounding area. A triumphant, blood soaked Evangelion Unit 01 was left standing in the midst of the defeated Angel. The horrifying visage of uncontrolled rage, covered in the gore of an enemy greeted the gaze of anyone who looked toward the Eva. It had escaped. ------------------------- A sound roused Shinji from his unconciousness. Someone seemed to be quietly calling his name. Also, he could here the sounds of someone toiling to open a large, metallic object, presumably the entry plug he found himself in. "Shinji... Shinji!" The hatch of the plug opened suddenly, revealing Misato Katsuragi, tears streaming from her eyes. "Shinji! Shinji are you all right?!" Upon seeing the near dead pilot, Misato broke down into a series of pitiful sniffles and wheezing sobs. "Oh, God, Shinji... we thought we'd lost you!" the hysterically crying woman sobbed into Shinji's chest. Misato looked up and probed Shinji's half closed eyes with her own. "Don't ever do that again," Misato sniffled. She then dropped her head back to his chest and used him to collect her tears. Weakly raising his arms, Shinji placed them gently around Misato's shoulders and comforted her, "I j-just wanted to see you all one last time... before... before I died." Misato could do nothing but cry harder. Asuka approached from her own Evangelion and stood next to the opened plug. She quietly wiped away a tear of her own and whispered, "I'm glad that you're okay, Shinji..." Shinji had the presence of mind to look surprised before he silently lost conciousness. The loss of life support systems had taken its toll on him. ------------------------- Shinji had been moved from the entry plug of Unit 01 to the NERV infirmary and was currently surrounded by a group of doctors and nurses trying to treat his extensive wounds and to fix the damage caused by his short loss of life support inside the Eva. Suddenly, a straight, horizontal line began to run through the pulse monitor and it's methodic beeping of Shinji's pulse took on the nightmarishly unwavering sound of an expired heartbeat. "Flatline! We have a flatline!" "What?!" Shock was written all over Misato's face. Her heart constricted as she regarded the single, unmoving line which passed across the pulse monitor. Tears sprang anew into the eyes of Misato Katsuragi. "Shinji..." Asuka whimpered, looking to the lifeless pilot. She didn't know it, and would deny it later, but tears began to collect in the redhead's eyes as she watched the doctors begin to work on the body in front of her. The mere shell of a boy who she had seen living not but a scant twenty seconds ago. A tear lazily made its way down Asuka's cheek and dripped off her chin as her trembling lips gently whispered, "Shinji... no." ------------------------- The last thing Shinji heard was Asuka whimpering his name in a barely audible voice. A sudden feeling of limbo set in as the young pilot was pulled from his body and sent spiraling through a black void at an amazing rate. He found himself floating above the infirmary bed where his body lay. Shinji felt the differences between this new body and the one he was currently staring at. Most notably, he had no physical sensations. He could see which way was up, yet he could not discern if he was facing in that direction or not. As far as Shinji could tell, he couldn't hear anything, yet could read the thoughts from their owner's heads directly. His sight was something new as well in that he could take in everything around him without maneuvering about. This feeling excited and frightened him. Being a point of conciousness was a totally new thing to Shinji. He rather enjoyed it, yet still regarded it with somewhat mixed emotions. What am I doing up here? Shinji thought to himself as he witnessed the doctor's attempt to resuscitate him. He could see Misato standing off to one side, tears running freely down her face, as she whispered something to herself over and over again. Gaining a sense of how to move in this new form, Shinji floated closer to the violet haired woman as she sobbed into her hands. He caught the tail end of her whisper, however. "Please, Shinji... don't die. Don't die." Those simple thoughts impacted Shinji's being as nothing else had. Realization washed over him and everything suddenly fell into place. He was dead. Looking to Asuka and Rei, he took in somewhat similar reactions to his passing. Rei seemed to be grimly observing the scene unfolding before her while Asuka looked to be in denial of the whole event. Tears streamed unbidden from the redhead's face as she whispered, over and over, "No, Shinji... no..." Shinji's being ached to comfort her. To somehow tell her that he was fine. And he was perfectly fine. A torent of unbidden emotions engulfed Shinji's spirit. Most noteably, a great sense of peace, like nothing he had ever experienced, settled into him. Following this was an ineffable amount of understanding. Shinji, for the first time ever, was at peace. A peace he couldn't reach in life. One which he had only reached in death... ------------------------- Doctors and nurses scrambled to bring the dead pilot back to life. All around the body of Shinji Ikari, people were attempting to regain a pulse of some kind. "Clear!" shouted a doctor as he pushed two small, handle shaped objects to Shinji's chest. The pulse monitor made a small beep as his heart was forced to beat once by the electrical charge that raised Shinji's body from the operating table. The single, unchanging line returned to the screen, however, and the doctor began recharging for his next attempt at resuscitation. Misato watched in shocked horror as the body again surged skyward when jolted by the electricity. Turning her teary eyed gaze to Asuka, she noticed that each time Shinji was propelled into the air, Asuka flinched and another tear escaped the redhead's eyes. ------------------------- Suddenly, Shinji found himself in a dark area. This area seemed to be devoid of anything and everything yet Shinji could still sense something about himself. More of a presence, actually. The presence of some type of being. The being emanated intense feelings of goodwill and love toward Shinji, and almost seemed to greet him as he arrived. Shinji could tell that this being was not an all knowing being. He didn't know by confirmation, but the knowledge just seemed to leap unbidden into his head. This new way of communicating was strange to Shinji and baffled him to some extent. And then, there seemed to be a question. Are you ready to die? This question was simply asked. He could not find the slightest hint of accusation or recrimination in the way it had come to him. Shinji would have blinked had he been physically able to. The question seemed to have suddenly happened into his thoughts. The figure hadn't said a thing, yet Shinji could still tell that the question had originated from the being. Shinji thought about the question, and, the more he thought, the more he realized that he truly didn't know if he was ready to die yet. He certainly didn't want to return to the life he had led before dying, yet he also couldn't bear to leave that life. Didn't he owe humanity something? Didn't duty make it unsaid that he should return to protect humanity from the Angels? No. A single word ran clear in Shinji's mind. He owed humanity nothing. Yet, something else kept him back. Held him from making the decision to stay, and to remain dead. Asuka. He couldn't leave her. I... I can't die, yet. I can't leave Asuka like this... or Misato... or Rei... Please. I don't want to die. Shinji tried to communicate his pleas to the being as best he could. He only hoped that he would be understood... and that he might be able to return... Shinji Ikari... you have been granted another chance at life. Go back with the knowledge that you have been released for the time being, but you will return. Do not be afraid. Embrace change, as well as the chance to learn. Do not squander your remaining life. A great relief flooded Shinji's spirit and, just as suddenly as he had found himself leaving his body, he now found himself returning to it. ------------------------- The doctors had been working on bringing Shinji back for a solid ten minutes. Almost no hope remained of reviving the boy. With a heavy heart the doctor resolved to try one last time. If nothing happened, then he would note the date and time of death and that would be that. Placing the handles to the bodies chest for the final time, Shinji again lurched upward. The single beat of the heart played across the pulse monitor, and for a scant second, returned to the flatline. Suddenly, another arch, lower this time, passed across the monitor followed by another. "We have a heartbeat!" Misato fell to her knees, the revival of Shinji being more than the poor woman could handle. Asuka reacted similarly and simply crumpled to the floor in a disheveled heap. Tears of unrestrained happiness fell from her eyes as she held her knees. Rei's voice could not be heard over the general victorious bustle in the infirmary, but she gently and quietly stated to Shinji's unconcious form, "Well, that's good for you. Welcome back, Ikari." A lone tear traveled down the red eyed, blue haired girl's cheek. ------------------------- Shinji's eyes slowly opened to the bland ceiling of the infirmary. This ceiling which he hated so much to wake up to didn't elicit the same feelings as upon previous times. Slowly dropping his gaze to the side, he looked to the wall and collected his thoughts. Shinji recounted the numerous events of the day. The morning, the Angel, his own death. It is said that a trip into the afterlife has the effect of inspiring and changing people. Shinji's trip was no exception. He knew that he had some major changes to make in the way that he was living. Shinji was determined to live his remaining life to the fullest, and to make the most out of what was offered to him. The day had certainly ended better than it had begun for Shinji Ikari. He looked forward to many more of them. ------------------------------------------------------------ Chapter Notes: This series is simply how I would see NGE end. It forms its own alternate reality, wherein I have tried to keep the light hearted humor (although not too evident in this story) as well as the touching moments and serious times. Please keep in mind that this is only the first chapter of however many I end up with, as I do plan to continue. This has a long way to go to come to the closure which I would like it to. Comments and criticism are always welcome. Special thanks go to: -GAINAX / Project Eva. and Hideki Anno for this wonderfully thought provoking universe wherein I can spend my time. -A.D.V. Films for releasing this with such appropriate voice actors. Those against dubs in general must hate them, but I personally like them. -Andrew Huang for stimulating many of the thoughts that went into this piece, growing from my discussions with him about his own series, Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut (Great fic). And to: -White Wolf and the FFML for being a place wherein I may spread the offspring of my brain and imagination. Thank you for reading, Mark Eymer (saotome@micron.net)