From: nrscribe@aol.com (Nrscribe)
Subject: [EVA][FanFic] Living By Relenting

EVA:  "Living by Relenting"

By Neal Richardson    
Nrscribe@aol.com

(This story takes place immediately following Episode 24.  If you haven't seen
that far into the series, stop reading now.  I've taken liberties with
geography in the setting of the story--sorry.  C & C always welcome.)  

The dark lake glistened with starlight.  It resembled Shinji Ikari's mood.  At
that moment, more than anything, he wanted to forget.  Forget everything that
happened since he told his father he would pilot the EVA.

Oblivion would be welcome.

Misato stood by him, staring out at the dark water.  "Shinji?"  He didn't
bother to look in her direction.  Somehow anything she would say would come out
badly.  "I need to tell you something."

Here it comes he thought.  She crouched down to his level and reached out a
hand.  He jerked his shoulder away.  She bit her lip in frustration but
continued on until her fingers gripped his shoulder.  "You're not alone."

Shinji's spine filled with ice.  "Don't pretend to understand what I feel,
Misato!"  He refused to look at her.  His eyes filled and he blinked angrily. 
"You have no idea what's it like in those machines.  My father would rather use
me than love me.  Ayanami Rei resembles someone I barely know and scares me to
death.  And Asuka..."  His throat hitched and he spasmed like he'd been
punched.  "Asuka hates me."

Misato didn't move.  He was vulnerable but moving too quickly would push him
into a dark corner of his mind.  She'd be damned if she'd let that happen with
him.

Shinji turned his tear filled gaze on Misato.  "I'm only cared about as long as
I can get the job done in EVA.  Everything is measured on that scale.  Even you
do that to me."

Misato closed her eyes painfully.  Stabbing herself would've been just as
painful.  "That's how it started," she whispered.

Shinji blinked.  He was surprised.

Misato said, while looking in his eyes, "You're my family.  It didn't start out
that way.  But that's how it is now.  I don't know the exact moment but I
adopted you a long time ago."

"You're just saying that," whispered Shinji.  But his voice was tinged with
hope.  Above him a falling star arced the sky.  He tried pulling away and
Misato lunged.  Her arms were around his shoulders and her lips were near his
ear.

"Let me go, dammit!"

Misato said, tightening the awkward embrace,  "I'm staying right here until you
accept that I love you."

All Shinji's struggle evaporated.  He was as limp as a dead plant.  His body
hitched and a sob escaped him.  He clutched one of Misato's arms and she was
right there, holding him.

Time unwound.  Shinji wept and Misato shared her pain.  Another meteor ripped
across the heavens.  Two souls, beginning a healing.

--------------------

Shinji stared at the sleeping girl in the hospital bed and silently cursed the
EVAs.  Asuka had been found  nearly unharmed except for the slashes on her
wrists.  Her chest rose and fell with regularlity.  

Shinji hoped Asuka was having pleasant dreams.  Perhaps a life without the
EVAs.  He wished he could share that dream with her.  

Misato stood in the doorway.  "Still no change?"

Shinji shook his head.  She walked in and sat on the other side of the bed. 
Shinji gazed thoughtfully at Asuka.  Misato watched the change come over
Shinji.  "What are you thinking about?"

Shinji snapped out of his daze and said, "I was hoping that this was all over. 
If the angels are gone then there is no more need for the EVAs or their pilots.
 If that was so, then maybe I could have a normal life.  With her."

Misato was impressed.  This was the most Shinji ever said about himself in her
presence.  

"That sounds nice," said Misato.  "When she wakes up you can tell her that."

A few days went by with no change in Asuka's demeanor.  Shinji visited as often
as he could.  Misato and he went home at the end of the day alternately
encouraged or depressed depending on what happened.

By the fifth day, Shinji woke up that morning with a plan.  It had come to him
while he slept.  He'd attempt to scare Asuka into waking up.  And so far, he
only knew one way in which to scare Asuka.  

Shinji explained his plan over breakfast that morning.  Misato listened and
then smiled.  "That just may work."

Which is how he found himself standing over Asuka's bed, his heart hammering in
his chest.  Misato stood in the doorway again and touched the cross at her
neck.  Shinji looked back momentarily and Misato nodded encouragingly.  He took
a deep breath and reached for the bed's remote control.  He thumbed the switch
and placed the bed in a sitting position.  Asuka didn't move.

Shinji stepped closer until they were separated by an arm length.  "Asuka, I
hope that after all this time you can hear me.  I think I know a way to wake
you up.  In a moment I will attempt to kiss you.  If you want to stop me you'll
have to wake up.  If I succeed I hope you forgive me."

Shinji stepped closer until they were breathing the same air.  He closed his
eyes and parted his lips.  He felt pressure on his shoulders and he opened his
eyes.

Two frightend looking eyes stared back at him.  A voice, hoarse with effort,
said, "You have to ask first, baka!"

Misato shrieked with joy.  Shinji gathered Asuka in his arms.  "Thank God," he
whispered. 

Asuka looked too stunned to speak.  "What the hell are you doing?"  Misato came
around the other side and crushed them both in an embrace.  

She stared in confusion at the two of them.  "I got my family back," said
Misato.

-----------------------------------
  
That evening, Asuka came home.  Misato had to leave the two of them there by
themselves.  She was wanted at NERV for something.  She put on a brilliant
smile and said, "Behave you two."  Only the slight stiffness in her walk
betrayed her anxiety.  She was out the door before Shinji could ask what was
wrong.

After the kitchen was cleared, a silence descended between the two of them. 
The night was warm and Asuka opened the balcony's screens to step outside. 
Ambient noise from the city lazily drifted inside.  

Shinji had a lot in his heart but he didn't know how to express himself.  He
watched Asuka through the partition and then turned and went to his room.  He
came out with a cello in hand.  

He pulled a chair from the kitchen and set himself up.  A moment later, a
melody rose from the strings.  Asuka looked around in surprise and watched him
through the doorway.  

"Not bad," she whispered and then listened some more.  The tune was fast and
jazzy.  It put a smile on her face.  Shinji turned to look when he finished and
saw her smile.

"Hey," he said.  "It worked."

"What did?" she asked, puzzled.

He propped the cello and walked toward her.  "You're smiling."

Asuka caught herself and then shrugged.  "Thanks."

Shinji bowed and then joined her on the balcony.  They fell to watching the
lights over Tokyo 3.

A long moment passed before Asuka broke the silence.  "What's going to happen
now?"

"With what?" asked Shinji but he already knew.

Asuka locked eyes with Shinji.  "My EVA doesn't want me anymore.  Yours scares
you to death.  If another angel comes what will we do?"

"I don't know."  Shinji shrugged.  "I think we've been tested enough."

Asuka's gaze turned to the skyline again.  "For a while I thought I'd be
useless without EVA.  Everyone looking at me in the shadow of that machine.  No
one wanted me unless it was through EVA."

Shinji's heart lept.  Just like him.

"But then you were waiting there for me to wake up.  You, of all people."

Silence crystalized around her.  Shinji took a deep breath.  He said, "I want a
life without EVA, Asuka.  I want to see your fifteenth birthday.  I've lost a
lot to the EVAs.  You've lost a lot too.  But we're still here."

She stepped closer and took his hand.  "Yes, we are."  Shinji's heart surged. 
Asuka smiled sadly.  "Okay, baka.  You and me."

At that second, Shinji's cell phone went off.  They stared at one another for a
moment and then giggled.  Shinji crossed back into the apartment and found the
phone.

Misato's voice was unmistakable.  "Shinji, you and Asuka get down to
headquarters now.  Meet me in the cage."

"What's wrong?"

"Just do it."  The connection cut off.

He put down the phone slowly.  He turned to Asuka and answered her silent
question.  "I think we're needed again."

Asuka nodded.  Five minutes later they were on their way.

--------------------------
The cage was silent.  All three EVAs were dormant.  It felt colder than usual
tonight.  Asuka and Shinji stopped in the middle of the catwalk.  The control
room above them was dark.

That's when it hit Shinji.  Everything in the room was essentially dead.  Only
a feeble glow from emergency lighting kept the place from being a tomb.  

Misato appeared at the end of the catwalk carrying a flashlight and limping. 
"Shinji!  Asuka!  Thank God."

"What's going on?" asked Asuka.  "Where the hell is everybody?"

"They've been killed."  Only then did Shinji see the bloodstain on her pants. 
She'd been shot.  She leaned against the railing supporting her injured leg.  

"Who did it?" asked Shinji as he took off his belt and fashioned a torniquet. 
Misato slipped a little and Asuka helped her stand.  "Did my father order
this?"

"No.  He's with your mother now.  Rei pushed Ikari into the LCL pool.  They
didn't come up."

Shinji was mildly surprised he didn't feel anything right then.  Things were
happening way too fast.

"SEELE and NERV got in one another's way and this is the consequence. 
Everything we were doing was a set up for ending the world."

Asuka and Shinji turned white.  "How?  Why?"  Shinji looked around in
confusion.  "We've fought the angels  off.  Is it for nothing?"

"Do you remember what Kaoru said to you before you killed him?"

Shinji shook his head.  He didn't want to remember that.

"I played it back.  He said that the AT field was in all of us.  It's what
keeps us apart from others."

Comprehension dawned on Shinji's face.  Misato confirmed his thoughts.  "SEELE
wants to eliminate the AT Field.  Once that goes, then everyone is equal. 
Nothing left to fight for."

Asuka shook her head.  "But if that happens then everything we've done here
won't matter.  We'll be dead."

Shinji and Asuka shared a long look.  So close after so long.  It wasn't fair. 
"No," said Shinji, his voice turned icy.  "They're creating a hell.  Everyone
may be equal but that's no different than being alone."  Shinji shook his head.
 "I've been alone long enough."

Misato tightened her grip on her two charges.  "We can still stop this.  I'd
like to live past today."

A sound carried behind them in the dark.  Misato reached for her side arm while
whipping the flashlight around.  The beam revealed a head of blue hair and
crimson eyes.  Ayanami Rei.  Her plug suit was covered in LCL fluid and blood. 


"What the hell?" cried Misato.

Rei cradled her left arm like it was broken.  Shinji shifted back.  Misato
didn't lower her gun.  "I saw you fall," she said.  "You died with Commander
Ikari."

Rei coughed once, spitting up blood.  "He didn't want me," she said.  Her
voice, usually toneless, carried a melancholy sound.  "I'm without a purpose
now."

Misato finally lowered the gun.  She started limping away toward the exit at
the other end of the catwalk.  "Come on everybody.  We still have a job to do."

Asuka and Shinji went to Rei and grabbed her arms gently.  Somewhere along the
way Asuka lost her anger over Rei and Shinji lost his fear over her.  He tried
to imagine that they were at school and helping an injured student recover from
a fight.  He almost convinced himself.

Misato opened an elevator alcove.  The trio followed close inside.  "What
happens now?" asked Shinji.  Asuka tore a strip from her jacket and bound Rei's
arm in a sling.  Rei nodded silently.  

"We can't let SEELE get their hands on any of the EVAs.  Something inside them
will fulfill the rest of the prophecy.  We're going to bring NERV into the
ground.  3 N2 Mines are strapped to the core of the complex.  They'll wipe out
everything we've accomplished in NERV."

Asuka sighed.  "Good riddance."  Shinji silently agreed.

The trigger actually was a red button.  Shinji would've laughed if the
situation were different.  Misato punched in a code and then hit the button. 
No voice gave a countdown.  

"We've got five minutes to get out of here.  Follow me."  She led them to a
corridor lined with lead.  An escape truck was there.  The ejection port led to
the bottom of Lake Ashino.  With some difficulty the party filed in and took
their places.

Misato breathed a silent prayer and then thumbed a release.  The chamber filled
with water and a moment later they shot forward into the dark.  


The destruction of NERV was announced with an earthquake.  The earth
essentially swallowed it.  One section of Tokyo 3 sunk 300 feet into the earth.
 A thunderclap sounded the deathknell.

The only witnesses to the destruction of NERV were two armed attack helicopters
circling Lake Ashino.  They also spotted the bobbing craft in the middle of the
lake.  

The pilot radioed for an intercept.  It wasn't long in coming.  A tug towed the
craft to shore at the opposite end of the lake.

Shinji, Rei, Asuka and Misato came out of the craft.  A half dozen men in
uniform were gathered around the craft.  All were armed but no one looked
threatening.  SEELE troops lined the bluff overlooking the beach.  Any one of
them could've taken them out.  But no one made a move.

One of the uniforms started toward them.  Asuka and Shinji looked at each other
again.  They joined hands silently.  Rei and Misato moved in protectively
around the pair.  

The uniform spoke, "If you'll come this way, we can get your group medical
attention, Captain."

Misato blinked.  She thought that the man was speaking in a foreign tounge for
a moment.  Then she saw the insignia on his uniform.  UN.  The United Nations
was here.

Misato looked around the beach.  The activity was tremendous.  Red Cross tents
had been raised.  The SEELE troops were being disarmed and then escorted to a
waiting van.  "We're not being arrested?" she asked.

The uniform smiled.  "No.  We'll just want to interview you for a long time."

Misato reached out and touched the man's arm.  He looked puzzled.  "Just
checking," said Misato.  Rei was suddenly holding up Misato who trembled.  "I
think we're going to be okay."  The uniform led their group to a waiting
medical tent.  

Halfway to the tent, Asuka started to weep.  Shinji didn't notice it until her
steps faltered.  "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked.  

She answered by kissing him full on the mouth.  Then, off his stunned
expression, she said, "Nothing, baka.  Nothing at all!"

--------------------------
Epilogue

Reconstruction took months.  Healing the scars would take longer.  Tokyo had
been resurrected before.  They would do so again.


Shinji and Asuka sat on the picnic bench, eating their lunch.  It was the first
real break in the weather in a while and all the students decided to take
advantage of it.

"How are the German lessons, Shinji?" asked Asuka.

Shinji grimaced.  "Terrible."  He peered at Asuka.  She was grinning.  Since
she'd been tutoring him, he'd been doing her chores at home.  It looked like
this would continue awhile.

Across the yard a commotion had started.  Shinji glanced back and said, "Oh
great.  Here we go again."  He got up while Asuka looked back.  Rei had gotten
herself into trouble again.  She rebuffed another boy's advances.  The boy
wasn't taking it well.  

Asuka and Shinji went to help their friend.  Fending off Rei's admirers was
getting to be habit forming.  And none of them would have it any other way.

End