From: "JOYCE K WAKABAYASHI" Subject: [Eva][FanFic] If you were me and I were you. Evangelion fan fiction Hi, this is the first version of this idea. It's a "pure" version where there's no crossover action. Enjoy. I shall probably put up the second version shortly. Shinji woke up and saw Misato looking pissed. "Kaji, this is the last time I ever lend you my car." "Your car? Misato-san, what's going on?" Then he winced in pain and rubbed the back of his head. "Ow." "I should give you a black eye to match the one you already have." she said, handing him a mirror. "Look at what a mess you are." Shinji looks into it and sees Kaji's face staring back at him. He touches the small bruise, already turning purple at the edges under his eye. His finger moves to his face and the image in the mirror also touches the bruise gingerly. Shinji then stares at the hand he'd been using. It's quite a bit larger and tougher looking. "What's happening? I'm Shinji." Misato stares at him. "Kaji, don't joke around like this." "Misato-san, boku. . ." Then he stops. If he's in Kaji's body, then what happened to his body. "Why are you calling me Misato-san?" said Misato with some unease, emphasizing san. Kaji always just calls me either Katsuragi or Misato, what's this san business. Suddenly, at the door, stood Shinji's body dressed in a hospital gown. "Yo, Katsuragi, aren't you going to visit me?" He had on his brightest smile. He walked up to her and patted her on the butt. He looked down at Shinji and said, "Looks like we have a major problem. Why don't we say it out loud just to make sure she understands." He turned to Misato and said, "It's me Kaji." Shinji looked up from the bed and said, "I don't know about him, but I'm definitely Shinji Ikari." She looked at both of them, then shook her head. "Oh, no way! No way!" Shinji then said, "Wait, if you bring my cello, I can play it for you." Then he looked at Kaji, "You don't play the cello, right?" "Not likely." he said dismissively. "But there's a better way of proving our point." * * * "Why are we running this test, Misato?" said Ritsuko. "Trust me, I'll tell you once the test results are in." she said. Ritsuko looked at the results. "This is terrible. Shinji can't even start the damn machine. What happened?" "OK, now try Kaji." "Kaji?" "Just do it." Ritsuko turned to her and said, "OK, but we don't have a plug suit for him." "Fine, he'll do it in his underwear." "OK, Shinji, you can get out now." "Thanks, Ritsuko." "Huh?" said Ritsuko, frowning. When the results for the next pilot came in, Ritsuko gasped. "Why, Kaji is almost as good as Shinji usually is. What the hell is going on?" She turned on the monitor to see the form of Kaji with his eyes closed. Then he opened his eyes and said, "Misato-san, how did I do?" "You did great. Unfortunately, you've proved your point. Oh, I deserve a beer for this." Ritsuko turned to Misato and said, "Proved what?" "When Kaji and Shinji got into that car accident, they accidentally swapped bodies." "But. . ." "There's no other explanation for Kaji being able to synch so well when the personality profile hasn't been changed. Besides, the boy you think is Shinji told me a few stories about me that nails it." "What kind of stories?" "Never you mind!" "Gendo's going to grouse about this." * * * Gendo didn't grouse per se, but he didn't enjoy the fact either. When he first heard about it, a look of surprise crossed his face only to be replaced by his usual smugness. As long as he had a good pilot, he didn't care much. The plan could go forward. Rei took the news in stride, in fact she'd been able to sense something was wrong the minute they came into the room. She had turned to them and asked, "Who are you two?" Then she lost interest once everything was explained to her. Asuka on the other hand basically flipped out, doing a wild mixture of shaking her head and shrieking. "It's a lie. No way. Shinji. . . Kaji. . . switched bodies?" Shinji thought to himself, I'm so much taller than Asuka now. "Where do I sleep?" "I guess you can sleep in your room like always, Shinji." The prospect of seeing that face everyday drove her crazy, but Misato thought, I have to be mature for Shinji's sake. Asuka thought to herself, I know it's not Kaji, but he's so cute. Argh, but it's baka-Shinji inside. Her thoughts kept going round and round in circles, so she slammed the door to her bedroom shut. "I'll start making dinner," said Shinji. "Ah, sure." Shinji washed the rice, then turned on the rice cooker and quickly sliced up all the vegetables for the curry, then put them on boil. He noticed that Misato kept staring at him. "What is it, Misato?" "I know you're not him, but. . . it's just strange." "I'll try not to bother you." "Don't worry, Ritsuko'll find a way to get you back." "What about school?" "You'll be out of school for a while." "I see. What about the Angels?" "Well, I guess you'll be fighting them. You're still a pilot, after all. EVA-01 recognized you. I should ask Ritsuko how it did that.." "Ah. It looks like Asuka's going to have a rough time of it since she likes Kaji and all." "Never you mind that. Just concentrate on your school work and training." She gave him a friendly pat on the back. "Thanks, Misato." Asuka finally came out for dinner. It was an uneasy as she kept on staring at Shinji. "I just can't believe it." she said to herself. "Oh, Misato-san." Shinji said. "Yes." "When do you think they'll have a plug suit ready for me? It's not like I can ride the Eva nude." Asuka turned a bright red. "Shouldn't be too long. I also got some clothes for you to wear. . ." Misato said. Their feet accidentally brushed against each other. Both gasped and stuck their feet under their chairs. It's just the way he looks, it's just the way he looks, it's just the way he looks, Misato thought. Wow, my heart's pounding like crazy, Shinji thought. "Yeah, I'll be sure to wear them. I'm going to practice my cello for a little bit." Shinji stood and went into his room. His cello playing started soon after. Asuka said, "When will Shinji and Kaji be switched back?" "I'm not sure it can be done." Misato opened a beer can and swallowed a few gulps. "So, where is Kaji right now?" "He's at his apartment. I should visit him, but he seems to be taking it in stride. I. . ." A thought occurred to her, If Shinji got killed fighting an angel while in Kaji's body, what would happen to Kaji in Shinji's body? Would they both die or would Kaji be stuck in that body or would their souls snap back into place? "What." "Nothing." * * * Touji and Kensuke went up to Asuka after Shinji was absent three days in a row. Touji said, "Where is Shinji?" "He won't be back for a while. He's with Kaji right now." "Secret mission?" said Kensuke. "Something like that." It wasn't a total lie, Kaji and Shinji were undergoing a huge barrage of tests so Ritsuko could figure out how to reverse the process. "Now go away!" Touji groused, "What's wrong with her? She seems more pissed than usual today." Asuka was thinking, It must be baka-Shinji in there, coming out of the shower with just a towel on, bumping into me, then saying, Gomen. She clenched her fists. I nearly had a heartattack. * * * "Ritsuko, is there any way you can switch them back." "Well, it'll probably take me a month. I want to check up on my mom's research and see if there's anything there that can help us." "A month? I can't wait a month." "I'm sorry, Misato. You'll just to have to wait. If you really need to, I think Hyuuga can oblige you." Ritsuko said. "And if you really need to, I think Maya can oblige you." muttered Misato. "What was that?" Ritsuko said. "Nothing, nothing." * * * "Looks like it's just you and me here tonight, Asuka." said Shinji. It had been ten days since the accident. Every test that could be done had been done, and Ritsuko had nothing encouraging to say. "Oh, where's Misato?" "She went to visit Kaji. I heard he's feeling very depressed since he's in my body." "That's not surprising. Who'd want to be stuck in your body." "Why don't you visit him?" "Hell, I just find you scary enough." "She left us a bunch of DVDs to watch," he said. "I've seen them already." A thought came into Asuka's head. He's not Kaji, she thought, but. . . "Shinji. . ." "Yes." "How about we kiss?" "What? Why?" "I'm bored." "Last time, you held my nose so I couldn't breathe." "I won't this time. Besides, I've never kissed Kaji. I want to know what it feels like, just once." Shinji would've said no, but Asuka's voice was different than it usually was. It was almost pleading. Her face was serious. "All right, just this once." She walked up to him, but found herself looking at his chest. "How am I going to reach you?" "I guess I'm a little tall for this," he said. "We should find somewhere to sit down. We could go into my room." "Don't try anything funny." "I won't." Shinji and Asuka went into his room and sat on the bed. The lights were set on low. Shinji put his hands on Asuka's hands, partly because he wanted to and partly because he wanted to make sure she didn't pinch his nose again. Her hands were cold but soft. They leaned in, closed their eyes and they kissed. Asuka pulled her hands away from his and put her hands on his shoulders. He put his right hand on her back and pulled her nearer. Thirty seconds went by. Then they opened their eyes and their faces were an inch away from each other. "So, how was that?" he said. Asuka felt a little dazed. Her face felt flushed. "Well, it was a lot better than last time. Kaji's lips are rougher than yours, though. And both of you feel different and smell different. How about you?" "It was good. I would've enjoyed last time as well except for the fact I couldn't breathe." "OK, OK, I'll never pinch anybody's nose again. Can we try it again?" "I feel kind of guilty using his body to do this, but. . ." They kissed again. This time, he opened his eyes when Asuka began touching his lips with her tongue, then closed his eyes again. He pulled back for a second. "Asuka?" "What?" "If I ever return to my regular body, would you ever kiss me like this again?" "I don't know." Shinji puts a hand on her face. "I guess I better enjoy this while it lasts, then." * * * Kaji opened the door with a beer can in his hand. Misato scowled, "Kaji-kun, don't be putting alcohol into that young boy's body!" "Well, I'm well over the age limit spiritually. Besides, I can't drive because the cops'll stop me and I can't go anywhere except work. What do you want me to do?" "Ritsuko's working on it. You have to be patient." "Katsuragi, just because I look like a child doesn't mean I am one." "Well, you certainly act like one." She walked into the apartment. Kaji shut the door behind her. "So, how's Shinji doing?" "He's doing OK in your body. He doesn't complain much. He's been taking good care of it unlike you." "I've been exercising this body, I'll have you know." He flashed his bony arm. "When he gets it back, there'll actually be some brawn on it. I bet Asuka's confused by all of this." "She hasn't been talking to Shin-chan at all. It's been very confusing for all of us." "You haven't been using my body for a little. .." He raised his eyebrows suggestively. "No, that's so gross. I don't care if the body's grown up, there's still a minor inside." She decided not to tell him about that footsie incident. "How could I face Shinji if I ever did that? Just to make sure I don't do anything stupid, I've totally cut back on beer. You know what." "What?" "You may look like Shinji, but you sure don't act like him. You're just the same. This experience hasn't changed you at all." Kaji walked over to Misato and took her hand, "Really now." "What are you doing?" "Well. . ." Kaji leaned towards her as if to kiss her. Misato stepped back. "No way. What are you thinking?" He stepped back and laughed. "I know, I know." Then he got serious. "I just miss you a lot, and not just in that way." "Yeah." "Won't you stay over tonight? I could make you a rice omelette." He walked towards the fridge and pulled out some of the ingredients. "Yeah, sure. Those two should be OK. Got any beer?" "I've got your favorite." He threw her a can of Yebisu. "The way to my heart is paved with beer cans," Misato sighed as she drank down half a can. "Oh, that's good. Ice cold, whew." "Do you feel differently about me now that I'm in Shinji's body?" "Well, you irritate me just as much." she scoffed. "Katsuragi, I'm serious. If I can't get back into my body, what'll happen to us, between us?" She went up to him and bent her head down, then kissed him on the lips. "Well, if you don't mind dating an old hag, I won't mind waiting for you to get stubble back on your face." "You'll never be an old hag." There was a small pause. Then he smiled and said, "You'll die young from eating too much fast food." Misato scowled. "You always have to stick it to me." "Oh, always." *** Asuka and Shinji had their shirts off and Shinji was just about to unhook Asuka's bra when there was a knock at their apartment door. Both Asuka and Shinji stopped what they were doing and swiftly put their clothes back on. "It might be Misato." said Shinji. They both went to the door and opened it. Kaji was holding up a very drunk Misato. "Hey, Shinji, could you help me get her to bed?" Shinji held Misato up. "What the heck happened?" "Basically, I handed her a beer and then she proceeded to raid my refrigerator for my entire supply. She said she hadn't drunk any beer in days. I was hoping that I could loosen her up a bit for a little fun, but she's totally plastered." Misato opened her eyes and saw Shinji. "Oh, Kaji. I've been so. .." Then she proceeded to massage his thigh. Shinji yelped in embarrassment as Asuka stood there fuming. Then he yelped again when she began clutching his. . . Shinji slapped her hands off and carried her to her bed and put her down, then hastily beat a retreat back into his room. Asuka faced Kaji. "You're really Kaji in there." "Yeah, I'm not half so interesting without my dashing good looks, am I, Asuka." "I. . . I. . ." That cocky smile and that tan suit he was wearing made Shinji's body look really different, exuding a confidence and a coolness she'd never seen before. It's actually kind of sexy. ..she thought, then caught herself. Argh. Her face flushed. "Well, see you later." "You're not staying?" "No, I think one of me is enough for one apartment. Later." He walked out. Asuka stood there, confused, then yelled, "Men suck." before going to bed. * * * Ritsuko said, "There might be a way to switch them back." "OK. . ." Misato said. "First, we have to put them both in EVA-01, then create a situation where they melt and turn the LCL into primordial soup causing their particles to slip into a quantum state. We believe the soul is also a mass of quantum particles with special properties. Hopefully, when they are reconstituted, the souls will go into the right place with everything where it should be." "Um, sounds good in theory, " said Misato, "but it sounds really hazardous to me. Suppose, they stay soupy or suppose their quantum particles screw up and they turn into some nasty looking conjoined twins?" She shivered at that thought, imagining all sorts of horrible permutations. "I don't want to be responsible for that." "Well, it's the only thing I can think up. Kaji's all for anything that'll make him an adult again. He keeps calling me asking when he can go back to driving and going into a bar again." "But the decision should also be Shinji's. He may not want to risk it. What does Gendo say?" "He says he doesn't like the idea of risking the life of the EVA-01 pilot, but that the decision would depend largely on what the MAGI says." "What does the MAGI say?" "I'm waiting for the results right now." Maya Ibuki came running up to them. "Ritsuko, MAGI says there's a 50% chance of this succeeding." "Well, you don't look so happy," Misato said. "Well, that's because there's also a 50% chance of something going terribly wrong." * * * "Shinji-kun." "Yes." "They've found a way to reverse the process." "Oh, how?" "Well, Ritsuko would be better at explaining it to you, but it's pretty risky. Do you want to do it?" "Yes, yes I do." He looked at Asuka, who was now staring at them. Later that night, he heard Asuka kicking stuff around in the bathroom. He got out of bed and poked his head in. "Asuka, are you all right?" he said before he had to dodge a thrown soapdish. He waited a couple minutes before poking his head back in. He walked in to see an unhappy Asuka sitting on the bathroom floor, her wet hair hanging limply down her back, her head between her knees. "Go away!" Asuka said. "You're unhappy that that I won't be the way I am now once this happens, huh?" He sat down next to her. "I'm scared too. Kaji's scared. But it's something that has to be done." "You're just leaving me just like everyone else has." How self-centered she is, he thought. "I'm not leaving you, not the person I really am." "I wish. . ." "Wish what. . ." "That we'd done it," she said. "When I have sex for the first time, I want it to be me who's having the sex." said Shinji, wondering if he shouldn't simply go for it, but also aware of how many problems it would cause in the long run. "But I guess you're not so interested in me per se." "Well, I wouldn't say that." He raised his eyebrows in surprise, then feeling a little bold, he said, "Asuka, how about a kiss for good luck?" She stuck out her tongue, then did as he asked. "When you get back, I might just give you another one." "I'll hold you to that." "I said might, you baka. I'm going to sleep. And Shinji?" "What?" "Thanks for letting me pretend you were Kaji." Then she left the bathroom. * ** "Kaji, are you sure?" she said into her cell phone as she drove towards the Nerv. "Yes. I just one favor to ask." "Go ahead." "If something goes terribly wrong, I want you to shoot me." "What?" "If Shinji and I get merged into something hideous, then I'd rather die than be Ritsuko's lab rat. Promise me." "How do you expect me to. . ." "Katsuragi, I know you're capable of doing it. Ja mata." Misato put down her cell phone. She put her hand around the cross that dangled from the chain around her neck. * * * "OK, LCL concentration is at 36 and oxygen is normal. Wave pattern is normal." "Is this going to hurt?" said Shinji. "I don't believe so," said Ritsuko. Actually, she didn't know, but she didn't want to unduly alarm the two. The two men were in their plug system. "All right, loosen ego border." The men suddenly disappeared. Pilot Vanished flashed in the corner of the screen. "OK, composition of LCL has changed into that of the primordial soup." "All right," said Ritsuko. "The rest depends on EVA. Ok, now lets try to reverse the process." "Maya pushed a few buttons to initiate re-consolidation program. It's no good, their ego borders're frozen into a mobius loop." said Maya. "Irridiate wave patterns in all directions. It's no good, the signals are trapped in Klein space. Abort the intervention." said Ritsuko. "What is going?" "Wait a second, it looks like there's three people trying to form in the plug." "Three?" said Ritsuko. Misato reached for her gun. Oh, my God, they've totally screwed up. She put a clip in her semiautomatic and took the safety off. She watched the screen carefully. "What's going on?" "What, the third person disappeared, now there are just two people in the plug." "The plug's trying to eject. I can't stop it." said Maya. The plug ejected, spilling liquid. Two people fell out of the plug. Misato and Ritsuko ran up to them. *** Shinji woke up. He looked up at the ceiling. Then he managed to sit up. He looked at his hands. They looked the right size. He counted his fingers and toes, everything was there. He got out of bed and looked in the bathroom mirror. He saw himself, a young teenage Japanese boy. He looked a little buff than usual, but Kaji had told him that he had been working out. His face was much like he remembered it, a regular face not the chiseled handsomeness of Kaji. Despite the success of that project, he felt depressed. I'm back to being Shinji Ikari. He put on his clothes on and walked over to the nearby hospital room. He opened the door a sliver only to see Misato and Kaji with their hands all over each other. He went back to his hospital room. He was about to freshen up and leave when he heard the door open and close behind him. It was Asuka. "Are you Shinji?" Asuka walked in. "Shinji?" "The one and only." He still has that smile and that stance, she thought. Was the experiment one hundred percent successful? "I think you owe me something." He walked up and kissed her on the mouth. "Lets go home." They walked past Kaji's hospital room. The room vibrated as if there was pile driving going on nearby and muffled groans were to be heard. "What's going on in that room?" "Nothing we should be concerned about." Shinji said as they walked out of the hospital. Something's gone wrong, she thought. Then he held her hand and began massaging the top of her hand with his thumb. Or perhaps something went right, she thought. THE END