From: HqofNERV@aol.com Author's note: I shall take this time to say that all rights... bla bla bla. .. Gainaz studios... yadda yadda yadda... this fanfic takes place after the Third Impact. There are many ways to interpret the event, but it actually b oils down to two main ideas: either everyone died but Shinji and Asuka in w hat was Shinji's "ideal world" or he accepted himself the way he did at the end of the series, and at the End of Evangelion, everyone was alright. If y ou really think about it, the ending to the series does implement itself int o the movies. This is a fanfic of the world after the Third Impact where th e people live, as Shinji has begun to love himself, and therefore extend his love to others, and ultimately, everyone, the world, survives. ... It's still here. All of it, still here. Of course it is, I wanted it this way, didn't I? Yes, otherwise, nothing would be here. Again, I'm waking, and- "Wake up, baka!" the high pitched wail would penetrate the deepest winds, yet it was so familiar, I almost have to welcome it. It reminded me that I'm alive. "How could you sleep so late? It's your day to cook! Mien Gott! The time, SHINJI!" The door opened, revealing a figure. As I open my eyes, I'm assured - everything is still here. Taking a glance at the clock, I- ... -running to school, I can't really grasp it: it's really all here, but... Is everything the same? Is my ideal world any different than the one I lived in? Asuka, she hasn't changed, and running to school, I can only wonder if that's how everything is. Within, I have a hope that something isn't the same... No, I know something is different, but what? Perhaps I'll find out soon... ... "Rise!" Nothing's changed, the class is the same. "Bow!" Everyone is still the same. "Sit!" Yes, the same. Nothing's wrong, but I can't help but feel a bit dissapointed... No wait, if Third Impact worked the way I remember, then Rei... Rei! She's still there, and still the same, looking out the window, without a care in the world. But how, and why? "Second Impact, the great equalizer, where man faced the purification that Noah in biblical times..." And thus began the day. ... music: Evangelion: Refrain: Prologue de Refrain Is everything the same again? Do I still long for love and... do I still pilot EVA? Leaning over the railing on the roof of the school, I wonder. I still live with Asuka and Misato, that much was proven this morning, although really, all I had for proof was the "We're leaving!" from Asuka. Still, it was proof enough, it was too familiar. Am I still alone? For some reason, my heart lightens just now, as I realize no, something has indeed changed. Something within, that fills me. I'm worth something, and that has made all the difference. Am I being given a second chance? Is everyone being given a second chance? And how would they know? It was me, just me, who knew this... me, and... "Ikari-kun." Rei. She knew, didn't she? Turning around, I was almost surprised to see Rei standing as emotionless as before. Didn't she know? Is this Rei still the same? "Ayanami." We stood there, and I began to wonder. Did she know about what happened? I desperately hoped so. I was beginning to wonder if I could hold such a truth alone to my grave. I decided there and then: even if she didn't know, I would tell her. She was probably the one I could trust the most, and the one most likely to take me seriously (she takes everything seriously). She then surprised me - she walked to the railing beside me. She never made such conscious action before. I turned, and we both looked below at the students. Perhaps, both of us marveled at how they lived their lives. They knew nothing of Third Impact, and were thus innocent. Ah, ignorance is indeed bliss. "I know as well." She finally stated. Inside, I was filled with a sense of comfort. I wasn't alone after all. There was really nothing to say for a few minutes. "It looks the same." I finally said. My voice was filled with despair, that all that had happened, all the time and thought that I had done in Third Impact, was fruitless. "It isn't." I raised my head, and looked to my companion with confusion and... hope? "This isn't your ideal world, though, but is was created in your image." I took some time to think. That made some sense. "But you can't change people." Did that mean that only the people were the same, and what they did and affected in the world remained? I looked at Rei, as if I had asked the questions, looking for answers. "But you can change yourself, and you did, because if you didn't, then I wouldn't be here." "Who are you?" I then asked, still curious as to if this was Rei, still Rei, and artificial human. No, a human. "I am... what you thought I was." What? But she just said- "You can't change those you don't know, because you don't know what to change. But you knew Major Katsuragi, and Souryuu." I took heavily to the fact that she left herself off the list, and then- "and you knew me, even more than I knew me. Your interpretation of us put us here, the way we are." So that was it. I didn't see anything to change in others, so they didn't. Those I knew didn't really change, at least not to me, in my perspective. To me they were the same, although perhaps they themselves had changed. There were always two souls - one looking out, and one being looked at. The people here were the one I looked at, and the souls looking back adapted to that. "But, that just means what you thought others were they became; it doesn't mean what others were disappeared." I thought again. So anything that I didn't know about another person didn't change. It may mean that they changed only enough to be what I thought they were. In fact, thinker deeper, that must be it, otherwise all the people I've never met would not exist, and yet still I could see strangers on the road. Seeing that I understood, Rei began to leave. I began to feel empty. My only confidant, would she always walk away like this? I had to say something. "Ayanami!" I almost blurted. She turned her head slightly. I wasn't sure whether to beg her to stay, or... "Thank you, Ayanami." "No," she said. I looked on in confusion... "Thank you." I gave her time to explain, "The Commander gave me life, but you've made my soul the way it is. I treasure this assurance that I'm human I've been granted." She left. I looked on. Rei must really be a deep person, for those who've had a gift since birth take it for granted. Those who are granted it after having felt its emptiness hold it for all it's worth. Of all of us, Rei was perhaps the one who held life dearest. But that wasn't what caught me the most. What was nagging the back of my mind was: did Ayanami just... smile? From: HqofNERV@aol.com Freedom - Rei's Testimony Author's note: Well! If you are reading this, then you probably were interested after reading Shinji's Testimony. Things may seem boring for now, but don't worry, things will develop. I promise. If you want to read the next two testimonies, go to my website at: http://members.xoom.com/hqofNERV/PORCH.html. I hope you visit, and then give me some comments... I'm still...here. It's the same, but... different. I'm more human than Angel now, more real. My living quarters, no, my apartment, it's the same. Ikari-kun, he remembered. The trash is still picked up, yet... when I last left it, it wasn't anymore, was it? Almost smiling (why?) I silently thank Ikari-kun; It will mean less work for me, as suddenly, and surprisingly, I actually have the urge to clean this place. I'm true now, and with the feelings and instincts come... senses? ...and all I sense here is a murky smell, consturction noise, and the dark aura. I can't live like this forever, not like before. ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack: Tokyo-3 Walking, strolling through Tokyo-3, I can't say that I'm am too surprised. The people are as I remember, as Ikari-kun remembers. The classroom. I'm filled with a breeze of peace, of... joy, even. I'm here early, and the nice smell fills me, as never before. The classroom's windows let in beams of light that calm my heart, a sensation I've never really felt. Sitting at my desk, I glance again outside. The green, the blue, they enrapture my eyes, and my mind no longer wanders, but focuses. A tree, so symbolic, so beautiful, it's perfect in its own way: it goes through life, knowing its place, and grows, always grows. The sky, hues always changing, the sun, bright as ever, and... perhaps my mind is wandering after all. Class has begun, and I barely notice the others, which surprises me. Maybe it was the other way around: perhaps my mind never wandered before, I never truly set it free. ... The happiness from dreaming didn't show on my face. I think that to others, including Ikari-kun, that day I looked the same as before. But he looked confused. Perhaps he had many questions. Seeing him I knew that he thought he was still alone. I would see him soon... ... After class, I did not head home. Instead I find myself strolling by a park, where the leaves and pink flowers flow by, carried by the wind. I can only smile at this. It is peace, and I am me, myself, here. Passing by people on a sidewalk, I see how happy some people can be. After all, why shouldn't they be? Without any Angels, there will be no more times where everyone is afraid. Humanity as a whole has passed the 17 trials, and now, peace, is our reward. The Second Impact united us, the Third confirmed it. We've been given a third chance, begninning brightly. What could ruin it? Could NERV? Could the things it holds destroy this time of brilliance? Perhaps worried, I begin to visit the headquarters. ... "The Commander Ikari is gone. He has dissapeared," said the officer. Not too surprising, really... The Commander did not just disperse into LCL, as I remember. No, he was... consumed. But the Major, she did not become LCL, either, but- "Misato died?" from behind came the voice. Was I thinking out loud? It was Ikari. Turning to face him, I gave a nod. But Ikari looked surprised at me. But the reason why shocked me. "You- you're eyes, they-" he stutters. Quickly, I turn my head. My eyes, they were... tearing... We stand this way, Ikari in confusion, me in shock, and then... and then... he walks by and kneels in front of me, looking into my eyes. I stare straight back. At first his eyes are still, and then he gives a smile to me. "Congratulations, Ayanami." he says. I open my mouth, and although I still wonder about the tears and why they were, I can only feel joy and pride. I am human, no doubts anymore. "Thank you." I almost whisper. ... "So in short, you are saying that I brought Misato back to life," he asserts. I nod. Walking out of NERV, the both of us can only feel relief - the relief of having questions answered. Finally, he speaks again, "I'm glad... and I'm glad that I don't have this power anymore. It wouldn't... feel... right." Again, walking, and reflecting the truth. With the Angels gone, NERV has been disbanded, but then reborn as Gehrin, the scientist branch of the UN government which studied the Angels. The goal of NERV (not the Commander) having been accomplished, the new goal for Gehrin is to study the Angels, a goal that may never end. Somehow, I find relief in that. The Commander is gone, and therefore Sub-commander Fuyutsuki has been made the head of Gihern. Dr. Akagi is still head of research (Ikari did not know she died, either). While we were walking we've established that the Commander was gone because he was consumed by EVA. But then, EVA was also in space when that happened. Somehow, Ikari-kun knew, or thought, the Commander had died. Almost to my surprise, he showed some remorse. "I think he actually meant it." He said. I understood, at least to where the Commander apologized to Ikari for the treatment he received. Somehow, there seemed to be more. Perhaps he would tell me another time. For now, there were still questions to be asked. ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack 1: Misato "Say hello to your new teacher, children!" Misato beams. Ikari and I, however, wouldn't believe it. "Well sure, since your present teacher will retire, and can only teach the official history of the Second Impact, when you move on, you'll be mine, and I'll teach you the real history." Misato gives us a very scary smile. "It also means, Shinji-kun, that I'll make sure you do well in school." Ikari seems to shrink under her shadow. I almost laugh, almost, when- "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" There can only be one. "You'll be MY teacher? It's bad enough when you were a Major, giving us orders and cancelling our school trips, but now you'll be giving us homework and tests?" Asuka has a look of anger and despair. "But at least you'll go on your trips, and I'll be home more often." Of course, Ms. Katsuragi thinks this is great, but asuka can barely register the bright side of the news. "We'll talk over dinner..." Silence. "...-ahem-... SHINJI." He suddenly stands up straight, and sets off, a look of helplessness highlighting his composure. "Rei, it's late, and you must be hungry, how bout' staying for dinner?" Strangely enough, hunger seems stronger than it ever did before, and I seem to need dinner like I never did. "Yes." "Great! Until then, you can tell me about your day." Somewhere, my insides turn inside out, and I'm filled with dread, but also another feeling - glee. Do I want to talk about my day with Ikari? Why? Souryuu, who had resided to her room, comes back out, and sits down beside me at the table. "Yeah, I have some questions too, Ms. Honor Student, you've been acting different today." From: HqofNERV@aol.com Asuka's Testimony Author's note: Here be the next part of the series. I'm glad that you're reading this, sticking out all this informational stuff. Well, as always, check my web site to see the images that go along with the story, and the mood= too. http://members.xoom.com/hqofNERV/PORCH.html "Asuka! This is Misato, and you had better be up! Shinji already left nearly half an hour ago!" It's that late? Shiest... No wait, Misato is still here, and she's going to teach today. It's the first day of school for her. Where did the baka go, then? And how can Misato be up already? I wonder if beer is caffienated... The last night had been spent talking to Rei. What was going to be a dinner with a few questions rose into a discussion... Rei had definitely changed somehow. Was she really that happy from having destroyed all the Angels? No, it's just that... just that... she... showed... how she felt. She almost seemed normal, or at least getting there. ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack II: Waking up in Morning Misato drove me to school, and in return I would show her where the classroom 2-A was. How could she be that irresponsible? It was her classroom, for God's sake! For some reason, the car seemed empty. I've been running to school every morning with Shinji that I've actually grown attached to that time of day every morning. I never realized it before, either. Looking back, I almost regret how I never took the time to enjoy those mornings, and now they would probably never come again. Interesting how something worth grows due to its absence. I regret, almost... ... I was surprised when I walked into the classroom. For one thing, we were actually early. Looks like Misato wasn't that irresponsible after all, or she was just excited. But what caught my attention the most was Rei, staring outside the window... and Shinji, standing beside her. They didn't seem to be saying very much. It was... intriguing... to see that. Neither of the two seemed to be the type that would reach out to someone else, especially to someone else who was so quiet, like each other. I sat down at my desk, and soon, became enraptured in my thoughts... I've faced my past, and I've conquered it. Just thinking about it affirmed to me that I was strong, that I could pass trials in life. However, even though I was proud of myself for doing so, I felt... alone, still. I think looking at Shinji and Rei, even though chances were not much was happening there, made me realize my solitude, and how my attitude, although seemingly outgoing, was actually quite stolid. And... there was something else. Jealousy? Could- "Asuka! You're early!" Hikari! For some reason, seeing her calmed me down quite a bit. I wasn't alone. Hikari was a great friend, and today, I seemed to realize more than ever what a truly great person she was, to accept a person like me into her life. Speaking to her, and greeting others that came into the classroom, I felt much better. Misato came back from the office (she didn't even set her desk up there yet!) "Rise!" "Bow!" This will be the only time of day I would ever- "Sit!" ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack II: When I Find Peace of Mind At lunch, some things were evidently different. Most of the class didn't wake up; they never slept to begin with. Misato's lesson really was quite interesting. For a while, she had reverted to the normal grammar lesson, but soon she was caught up in the history portion of class, and so were the students. I had to admit, Misato could speak. Actually, I can't give her too much credit - the boys probably looked at the teacher more than they listened to her. Perverts. Another aspect of the break was that although Ms. Honor Student still sat alone, she didn't study as usual. Instead, she was looking at... everything. It was as if she was trying to stretch her views rather than limit them. I spoke to Hikari a little about it, and she agreed that Rei seemed different. We went down, and Hikari ventured a "Hello, Rei." To both of our shocks came a "Hi." It wasn't so much the word as much as how she said it. It was solid and... spoken, like a person would, not a machine. We spoke some, and she spoke back. Eventually, we had a small but steady conversation. I think I looked at Rei differently. That is, aside from sheer surprise came... something. No, it was the lack of something. She wasn't... doll-like anymore. She wasn't quite normal, either, but she was at least a normal quiet person now, still shy, though. Finally, I asked a question that popped up in my mind earlier in the conversation and had been nagging me ever since: "So Rei, what were you and Shinji looking at this morning?" Rei, looked at me, no, through me, as if staring off into space, and then, "I-" "Glad to see you three getting along!" Misato! What was a teacher doing out here at lunch? The first thing I noticed was the trail of boys above us, looking below. How long had they been there? Perverts. "Good afternoon, Ms. Katsuragi." said Rei. Well, that sure brought back some reality. Rei was still as formal as ever. "Good afternoon. I've got news for you three: party tonight!" surprise, surprise. What was her excuse this time? Then again, she didn't seem to have very many parties since that last call from my mother. Kaji wasn't going to call anymore? That's what she had said... What did that mean? I was about to ask, but she didn't seem to talk about it then, and now, well... Instead, I asked: "What's the occasion?" "Well, the new life for everyone, of course!" She explained: "NERV is done, no more Angels, I've got a new life, and so do you three!" Speaking of three, "Misato, are we still pilots?" I surprised myself there. I didn't ask to affirm that I was. In fact, I didn't have to be a pilot anymore. I was proud to have broken away from such needs. I've really come a long way. "The only time you'll ever be in an EVA is when they need to test it while it's active, which won't be too often. Ritsuko thinks that the EVA's will not need pilots for some time." Interesting... me, that is... I didn't feel much loss. "For now, back to class!" ... Shinji didn't come home with us; he walked Rei home, saying that he was going to talk to her on the way. Misato informed about the celebration, and so they decided (Rei actaully voiced her opinion) that they would come in time. And so again, I felt his emptiness again on the way home. ... Misato, being kind enough not to give us homework the first day (and lazy enough not to correct them), gave me time to myself at home. That was the problem, I was by myself. It wasn't that I did anything differently while Shinji was here. It was that he was here. Interesting how the value of something grows with its absence. Now that Shinji finally isn't here, I actually began to miss him. I began to feel annoyance towards Rei. It wasn't the same as before. It was that she took him away from me! They had something they just had to talk about evidently... ... Some time later, I was still on my bed, and I realized that I wished I was in Rei's spot at the moment, talking to Shinji. I had also realized that he was actually somewhat special. His shy composure prevented him from being a pervert, at least, not as much as our classmates. He had an aura of calmness about him, though it could be annoying at times, because then he became boring... sometimes. It mixed with his innocence well. He was also a nice person, or should I say considerate. One thing that annoyed me when I first read his file was that he always seemed to obey. I was beginning to see that it was because he thought about others more than himself. Although in reality this is a result of the lack os self-worth, it can be seen as noble sometimes... sometimes. I began to think deeper, and wider.... ... I can't be... attracted... to him. He wasn't the best looking guy around. He wasn't the smartest, either. I couldn't like a kid like him... ... The bell rang, and the party was about to begin... From: HqofNERV@aol.com Misato's Testimony Author's note: And the last testimony is here! After this will come the episodes! Thank you for sticking it out. Well, as always, check my web site to see the images that go along with the story, with italics and bold apparent so that the mood exists. http://members.xoom.com/hqofNERV/PORCH.html How interesting today. Driving to the school today, I found an eerie silence. When Shinji was the one next to me, I could understand it; he never was very talkative anyway. With Asuka, though, when things are quiet, they are always too quiet. Finally, I just had to speak my mind. "You miss him too, don't you?" "Eh? Who, Shinji? Ha, no way would I ever miss that baka, always sitting around uselessly! I'm glad that for once I can live in peace!" Asuka had suddenly burst into a little conversation with herself. Maybe this was a mistake. Deciding to let her speak her thoughts, driving the rest of the way to school was actually more... peaceful. ... A new desk. This one would never be filled with endless papers of complaint. Instead, I thought to myself, it would be composed of the truth, and the opinions and thoughts that came with them, straight from the children of a new era. I had read the agendas of the old teacher, who was retiring (and he needed it, too) and found that the Second Impact had often become the subject of the day. That fit just fine with my goals. Quickly, I tossed out the decor I brought for my desk: an old picture of Ritsuko, Kaji, and me, a small penguin clock which I could have sworn looked exactly like PenPen. Finally, a picture of the children that I had taken one night the four of us went out to a dinner I owed them. They had treated me nicely that night, and eventually I felt so great, that a picture had to be taken. This would definitely have been one of the better times of my life. Staring at the PenPen clock, I soon found it was time to meet my new class. ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack II: A Moment when Tension Breaks During the lunch break, most of the faculty ate together in the teacher's lounge, and so did I. Listening to the others, I could overhear pieces of information dealing with classes, students, upcoming events, and of course, Angels and the UN. Grown-ups so liked to hear and discuss upon these matters. I guess I wasn't quite grown-up yet, since I didn't take too much of an interest in these matters. But the part about the upcoming events raised some thought in my mind. I soon found myself in deep thought about the past events of my life. Shinji, Asuka, Rei, NERV, Ritsuko, Kaji, everyone. I found that somehow, I wouldn't regret at my deathbed that I hadn't led an exciting life. Somehow, the thought was comforting. So comforting in fact that I felt a need to celebrate. Like a little school girl, the mere thought filled my with giddiness, and I rushed out of the lounge to inform the children. This place was beginning to wear me out, anyway. ... Strolling out, some students turned their heads and "Good afternoon, Katsuragi-sensei" 'd me. I smiled back, and soon found Asuka, of course with her friend Hikari, and then, to my surprise, Rei. I stood there, above them for some time, and found that they were engaged in small talk! Rei? Thinking back, Rei had changed quite a bit yesterday. I had already learned about her past (or what you could call her past) from Ritsuko, and I knew that Commander Ikari was gone, and then I had wondered what would become of Rei. NERV would still cover her, and the rest of the pilot's expenses, and still have Security oversee their well-being, but, what would her purpose, as she saw herself, be now? Breaking from my thoughts, I looked down again. There she was, speaking, and perhaps even smiling. Things were shining today, and I strode down to greet the girls. ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack III: Childhood Memories, Shut Away "So then when will you be back, you two?" I called. Shinji shouted back, "before the party starts!" He was walking away from school with Rei. Evidently, he was going to her place, as they had something to talk about. Somehow, although I didn't think they were up to anything, I couldn't help but stifle some chuckles as some rather conclusive thoughts appeared in my mind. "Misato, you've got to grow up." I thought to myself. And then, before they were out of hearing range. "Bye then!" "Yeah, see you soon." They said, turing aroung once more. I could see their silhouettes on the horizon of the street, the sun behind them. Something caught my attention, no, two things: Rei had turned around to wave, and secondly, Rei had said the "see you soon" part, not Shinji. Finally, Rei had sounded like a school girl, (semi-) full of life. I thought and thought, and when finally Asuka and I reached my car, I smiled, although I hadn't made any conclusions and didn't know why. ... On the way back home, Asuka was silent again. I found, after a minute or two, that I didn't like it this way. I had to break the ice, but how? Luckily- "Misato, why isn't Shinji coming home with us?" Asuka asked, trying to sound casual. I realized after a second that she had spent the last minute preparing this question, to sound as nonchalant as can be. I grinned to myself, and couldn't resist. "Why, do you miss him already?" Asuka suddenly sat very straight, and I could almost see her being to blush, when instead she burst into a fit, so I "He's off to Rei's to talk about something." "Rei's? What's so important? She asked, seemingly annoyed. "I'm not sure, but then, why the sudden interest, hmm... ?" I stared menacingly at her, my eyes very thin, my smile, as far as I could tell, I was grinning from ear to ear. "Well... that is..." Hoo boy, she was just crumbling down, wasn't she? "Shiest! Just look at the road!" I did. It was alright, I had my fun, and I didn't regret one bit. I grinned the rest of the way home. "... and stop smiling like that!" ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack I: Hedgehog's Dilemma. A home, I decided that since Shinji wasn't here, I should get ready for the party. I went down, after have changed, to buy the refreshments, and some food. Was there anything else? I thought about it, and then I realized that all my parties always spoke for themselves, and that there was really no way to figure out what else was needed. How did Shinji do it? *sigh* Maybe I should pay the kid or something for all his work, even if we had settled it fair and square the first day he arrived at my place... Alright, maybe not that fair, but who's to blame if that kid's unlucky? ... he sure is unlucky. He really needs a break. I had finally, after some more thinking gone back up and gotten most everything ready when I had finally decided: I would have to thank Shinji somehow for all his efforts to keep this apartment homely. Without him, we may never have gone home each day and arrived at the door with a refreshed soul. He had made it our home. From: HqofNERV@aol.com Author's note: Yep, here is the first chapter. Thank you all for bearing with me until now. Now, we have some action! ...sort of... Well, remember that if you don't like looking at text, come to my site; http://members.xoom.com/hqofNERV/PORCH.html Have fun! And I Shall Dream... Rei lay on her bed. It was late, and she was tired. No, she was exhausted, worn out from... socializing. Tired as she may be, however, she could not sleep. Instead, her thoughts pulled her away from a night of dreams. All Rei could think of was the day she had spent at her apartment and the night she had spent at the Katsuragi residence, and what had happened. ... "What?" asked Rei, with little query in her voice and none on her face. Shinji stood at the doorway for a moment. He seemed to be staring up towards the ceiling. Rei turned around after a few seconds, and finally, tried "come in." Strangely, this statement seemed more like a question than the one before it. "Your room... it's... been cleaned." "Oh... oh yes..." recalled Rei. Although it had only been yesterday, Rei felt as if she should have been living in these conditions her whole life. She still could not grasp living in the apartment the way it was. "I couldn't stand it." Shinji seemed to understand. When Shinji had passed out of his quandary, he settled down. Soon, the two Children were caught up in conversation. "... so you feel that we should not tell Asuka, or Ms. Katsuragi? Not anyone?" "No, it would just be too difficult. The way things are are... well, fine." Shinji almost said it to himself more than Rei. Rei smiled, but perhaps it had the hint of a smirk. Can she do that? thought Shinji. Somehow, he couldn't get the idea into his head, and Rei didn't seem able to act that way either. "They should be. This is, after all, your world." Shinji cringed a little. "But, I still don't know everything about it." Rei looked down (she was sitting on her bed, and Shinji was sitting on the floor) with an expression of wonder. "I don't even know anymore about you than I did." "If you knew everything, where would the life in life be?" Rei asked. Seems to make sense. Shinji seemed to think about it. "...and what is there you'd like to know about me?" Rei asked. It was in an innocent tone. So innocent, in fact, that Shinji could not think of a question that would... fit the situation. Finally, he gave up thinking about how he would say it, and instead just said it in the most direct way he could manage. "Do you still remember why you piloted EVA?" He asked. Actually, I should have just asked if she remembered her past. "Yes," she said, and he believed her. ... After some time, the two decided to head towards Misato's place. Earlier, Shinji had been amazed to find that Rei didn't have much a place to eat nearby, and that she ate perhaps only one or two meals a day. Rei was very surprised herself. So, they decided to first go home, and Shinji would cook. Rei would watch and learn, in hopes that if she was hungry at home, she wouldn't be helpless. "Back already?" Misato called. "Hai!" the two answered. I've definitely got to get used to hearing Rei speak, thought Misato. "What brings you back so early?" Shinji answered, "Dinner!" That definitely struck a thought in Misato. Eh heh. Oh yeah... "Ah, Shinji-kun?" She wasn't going to feel great about saying this... Especially because I'd be helpless if he hadn't come home, not to mention Asuka... Luckily, "There'll be enough for all!" ... "Dinner's ready!" Shinji shouted. A variety of responses could be heard. "I'll set the table," came from Rei, while she turned and left. "Thank God!" came from a very hungry Misato. Teaching can wear a person out, and boy am I starved... Silence came from Asuka. That's strange, thought Shinji, Where is she? Isn't she home? Shinji went to Asuka's room and knocked. No answer. He knocked again. A sound, a groan, could be heard from inside. "What is it?" came a groggy voice. "Dinner," Shinji replied. "Oh... oh! Wow, Shinji, you must have cooked a lot! I can smell from here!" Asuka suddenly seemed very awake, and she bounded out of her room. It surprised Shinji very much, the speed. "Ah... yes... I had to teach Rei some." Shinji stuttered a little. "Mmm? Rei?" Asuka seemed disappointed. Why? But she quickly regained her composure. "Oh, Rei! Well... great that she'll be at the party early for once!" "Ah... yes..." Shinji really couldn't get Asuka sometimes. ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack I: Misato "So Shinji," asked Asuka between bites. "What did you guys do after school, hmm?" At this, her eyes became very thin, and a wide grin appeared. My God, she's becoming like Misato-san. thought Shinji. "Ah, we were... ah..." Asuka's smile grew wider, much wider. Misato was beginning to join the look. Shinji felt cornered. Even Rei seemed to have a difficult time concealing a smile. "Ah..." "We were just cleaning my apartment," Rei finally came up with. Shinji heaved a great sigh. "Eh? But I thought you were going to talk about something." Asuka wasn't smiling as much now. Now, she seemed a little serious and curious. Rei went silent. Shinji came up with the next alibi. "Rei was wondering if she should move." "MOVE?" came the exclamation from Misato and Asuka, "Er... yes. You see, Rei's place has no food supplies nearby, the place is poorly conditioned, and..." Asuka seemed to be listening, whereas Misato was giving Shinji a bored look. It seemed to read "BS." As Shinji tried to explain further, Misato began to grin again. Shinji noticed, he noticed well. "So where would you move, Rei?" Asuka asked, pure curiosity now. "Huh?" Shinji blurted. "Ah, the... place next door." Here, Misato's grin vanished, and instead she put on a thoughtful look. Rei, meanwhile, was watching. Her eyes darted back and forth between Shinji, Asuka, and Misato. In the end, she was quite amused, and she barely managed to stifle a chuckle. ...Why do I laugh? ... "I'll get it!" Shinji called. Who else would? As the door slid open, Shinji could get who it was. He greeted Touji and Kensuke with joy and relief as always. Shinji always felt relief as soon as they were around. Other than being great friends, they acted as cannon fodder for Asuka's temper tantrums and Misato's teasing. They stepped in, took off their shoes, and began to drone off looking for Misato, leaving Shinji behind. Watching them go off like zombies, Shinji gave a small sigh. They were early. ... Hikari smiled. "Hi, Shinji." She looked around. "Am I early?" "Yes," Shinji sighed. "But you're not the first." Hikari wore a curious look. "Touji and Kensuke arrived around twenty minutes ago." Hikari seemed to grimace a little, but soon brightened up, asking, "Where's Asuka?" Shinji pointed, and as he about to close the door, he saw Ritsuko exiting the elevator. She was, for once, dressed casually. As she glanced by, she looked at Shinji and stopped. "How are things, Shinji-kun?" "They're fine," came the usual reply. Ritsuko seemed a little disappointed, but nodded and walked on. ... Soon after Hyuuga Makoto - tactical advisor, Shigeru Aoba - communications officer, and Ibuki Maya - assistant technical officer, arrived. Misato had invited them specially in honor of the trials they've gone through together. Shinji was a bit surprised to see that Aoba and Maya came in each other's arms. It seems that peace has brought out joy in some of us. Shinji wondered, Will it ever be the same for me? As soon as these last guests arrived, Shinji instinctively asked for any orders for drinks anyone might have, and set off. ... And so it was like this for a period of the evening: the grown-ups occupied the table in the living room, talking amongst themselves and every so often, Misato would ask Shinji to come out and give her another beer. The girls, including Rei, secluded themselves to Asuka's room. Shinji, Touji, and Kensuke were in Shinji's room. "Wow, Shinji, I'm impressed," Touji remarked. Shinji gave something of a "huh?" and Touji grinned. "I mean, you've managed to keep Rei and the Demon from arguing all day." "Hey, yeah," Kensuke agreed. He raised an eyebrow, prompting Shinji to speak. "Well, I... I really haven't done anything." Touji and Kensuke both looked somewhat shocked. "They got along on their own. In fact, Rei's been in Asuka's room with her and Hikari all night." Touji looked at Kensuke, who looked back. "Are you saying that Rei's talking to Asuka?" "...and Hikari." Shinji nodded. Touji looked at Kensuke again, who looked back, again. Grins began to form. Shinji noticed. "What?" They turned their heads to Shinji. Touji had a gleam in his eye. Kensuke's glasses were pure white. Kensuke finally spoke. "Eavesdropping," he sang. Shinji sighed. ... "Rei, how come you're here?" Asuka asked. She didn't even have an annoyed tone in her voice. "I'm here... because... I want to be." Rei finally answered. She smiled a small smile. Asuka looked down. It's been bothering her for some time, and she had to know these things. "...not with Shinji?" Rei's eyes widened a bit. Asuka now stared up, at the ceiling. "I mean, I read the reports and heard some news from Misato." her thoughts went back, reminiscing a difficult time for her... ... music: -none- (it should be perfectly silent) Asuka still lay in the med bed. Her readings were fine, but she looked like she had seen a ghost. Her face was pale, and her eyes wore the rings due to loss of sleep. To Misato, however, it seemed as if she were constantly sleeping. Misato had some time that day, so she visited Asuka as soon as she could, and was speaking. It was quite soft, but anyone in the room could have at least heard the murmurs. "... and you know, if it's your self worth you're worried about, you're worth a lot to Shinji, Rei, NERV... and me..." Misato's words were very solemn. "...you know, Rei almost died, taking on that last Angel by herself. Shinji couldn't make it in time." Silence. "Rei might not think she has much worth, either, but you know, she made herself worth something, instead of running away." Silence. "You know what she did, Asuka? She self-destructed to save Shinji. It just goes to show that no matter how low things are, there's no reason for suicide... or anything like it; there's always more good that you could do in this world." Misato raised her head and looked at Asuka. "So wake up, huh? Show yourself that you're worth something, alright?" Silence, nothing. And then, Misato was furious. "Wake up, so that Rei won't die the next time you run away!" ... ",,,Shinji-kun?" Rei almost whispered. Hikari looked at her two companions curiously. "Asuka? What are you talking about?" Asuka seemed to snap up to attention all of a sudden. "Oh! Oh... a... an Angel attack." "Why would Rei be with Shinji tonight, I mean?" Hikari prodded. Asuka looked at Rei, who finally answered, or tried, "Well... well... I..." Hikari opened her mouth to ask another question, but Asuka answered, "I just think Rei here might have something for Shinji." Then came a noise from outside. It was a big noise. "What was that?" exclaimed Hikari. Asuka's eyes narrowed. "Peepers." She went over to the door, fist at her side, and slid the door open quickly... and was shocked to see the rest of the guests by the door, ears facing the door and wall. Some of the guests, including Touji and Kensuke, had fallen. music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack I: Asuka Strikes! Somewhere, from outside, a great deal of commotion could be detected from the Katsuragi residence. ... At the end of the Evening, Shinji was ducking in his room with Touji and Kensuke. That is, until it was late enough that they left. Shinji begged them not to leave, hoping they would protect him from Asuka a little longer, but to no avail. Everyone left soon after. Rei went back last, Misato giving the ride. Stepping into the car, Rei looked up at the lit windows, the only ones still lit at this hour. She could she shadows of various objects being tossed to and fro. "Don't worry about them, Rei, I'm sure they'll be just fine," Misato assured her. "...right," agreed Rei. ... So, why didn't I answer? Rei thought. But them she smiled, dismissing the question, and went to sleep. It had been a good day. ... And I Shall Dream... Rei awoke the next morning, early as usual, despite how late she slept. Still, Rei woke up fresh. Life, thought Ayanami, should be lived to the fullest. Swiftly, she got dressed, picked up her bag, and was ready for school. Today, she chose to walk a different path to school. Instead of heading down a street, Rei took a longer path, which led her through a park. Right away, Rei could tell that this place was different. The trees blossomed white flowers, which the wind carried freely through the air. Knowing how early she was, Rei decided that she had time to spend in this place. Here, Rei's thoughts were washed away and replaced with peaceful thoughts. It was so wonderful. So wonderful, thought Rei, that perhaps... yes. With that, Rei sat down in the grass, and began to write. When she had finished, she walked to school, with a smile highlighting her face. ... Shinji and Asuka walked into the classroom along with Misato. They were all five minutes late. Hikari immediately went through the "rise, sit, and bow" routine when they appeared. Shinji took his seat and noticed that Rei seemed very... light? She seemed very serene.... did she just smile before she looked out the window? Asuka seemed to have noticed too. With that, class had begun, and the classroom was all ears. ... During lunch, Rei found herself talking to Asuka and Hikari again. They accepted her presence rather happily. They talked about last night, and Asuka brought up: "So do you have something for our Shinji, Rei?" At this, Rei became very startled. She sat silently. "I mean... do you have... feelings for him? I mean, you did spend an afternoon talking..." Asuka seemed to be inviting an answer. Rei had calmed noticeably after Asuka explained herself. "Of course I have some feeling for him..." Asuka wasn't quite satisfied with this answer. Hikari spoke next. "Is that why you're so... social, all of a sudden?" Rei seemed confused. "Is that why you're beginning to talk to others?" Rei blinked. "I just want to be around others, I guess..." She didn't answer the question, but the way she answered, looking at the ground, losing herself, Asuka and Hikari decided it was personal, and that it would be better for now not to press on. Change the subject, Asuka said to herself. She came up with the lamest subject she could think of. "So Rei, about the reading assignment in class, what did it mean?" That was really really lame, Asuka. Rei sat up again, and smiled her small smile. "Oh... well... just go get my book, and I'll teach you some kanji you may not already know." "Sure," Asuka said. Besides, it was getting complicated, and she needed to calm herself. Sheist, why would this one question be so difficult for her to answer? ...why does it bother me? Outside, Rei was chatting with Hikari again, until something important struck her mind. Suddenly, she told Hikari to "wait," and ran off into the school building. Hikari, confused, followed. They reached the classroom just in time to see Asuka holding a piece of paper, sitting in Rei's desk. Asuka seemed pale. She was reading what Rei had written earlier in the park that morning. Asuka may not have understood all of what it meant, but the exceptionally neat handwriting and the simple words were enough for Asuka to understand. For a moment, there was silence until Hikari picked up the paper and read it. Asuka was looking at the floor, then she looked up at Rei, with a solemn face. "You... you like him... don't you." It wasn't a question. Rei was very silent and still for some time. "You do as well." Asuka sat up, and she seemed to want to say something, but couldn't seem to get the words out. Finally, she admitted, "...how?" "That's why you've been asking me about Shinji." Rei answered, solemn as well. The classroom was very still and dark, except for the beams of light that passed through the windows. The three students stood and sat the way they were for nearly a minute, until- "I won't interfere," Rei suddenly said. The way she had said it, so sincerely, took Asuka and Hikari's attention immediately. They looked at her with confusion. "Shinji-kun... deserves better..." Asuka seemed very surprised, so did Rei. "He deserves," Rei tried again, correcting herself, "someone full of life." Asuka stood up, the color had returned to her face, and she walked up to Rei, and smiled a feeble smile, but it true, nonetheless. "Thank you." ... When Shinji and his classmates returned to class, they realized that Rei was sitting at her desk, looking out the window... She seemed... sad. Misato immediately went to Rei and asked if anything was wrong, and received a "no, nothing" for a reply. The class continued as usual. Rei remained looking out the window for the rest of the day. ... When school had ended, Misato had asked Rei, Asuka, and Shinji to stay after class. Evidently, she had news for them. When the rest of the class had left, Misato closed the door, and turned around with a smile on her face. Shinji was almost scared of her smile; it was too mischievous for him. Asuka was confused; Misato only smiles like that when she's drunk. Rei was silent; she was waiting. "So Shinji, Rei, you ah... said yesterday that you were looking for a new place for Rei?" Shinji seemed to choke. "Yes! That's..." Shinji's voice dropped. "...that's what we were doing." Huh, boy, this can't be good. Misato's smile only seemed to prove his theory. "The ah, place next to ours, huh?" Misato asked. Shinji managed a nod. Is it me, or does he seem a lot... smaller... all of a sudden? Misato grinned. "Well then, I've got good news." Now everyone was confused. "Gehrin's director Fuyutsuki decided that would be a fine idea." Shinji seemed to grow back to normal. Rei's eyes widened. Asuka, interestingly enough, brightened. "So, Rei, we're going to move out of that place you're currently at, and then we're moving you in next door!" Rei was shocked. Then she smiled, and managed a very light "Hai!" ... "Geez, Rei, how can you have so few... stuff?" Misato asked. Misato and Asuka were both some appalled at Rei's "apartment." All Rei really had to pack were clothes, and even then, there wasn't much to pack. It all fit nicely into a single cardboard box, which Shinji and Misato carried to Misato's car. Rei stood in the center of the apartment. Asuka eventually couldn't stand the silence. "Are you really going to miss this place?" Asuka asked quizzically. "It's been... my home, for as long as I could remember." Rei finally answered, Asuka decided that it was a good answer, and that there was nothing left to ask. Besides, Misato was already shouting for them to go. Asuka left first, followed by Rei. Rei was the last into the car, and before she fully sat down and shut the door, she looked at her old apartment again. It wasn't until the site was out of her vision that she turned around. When she finally did so, Asuka noticed a smile on her face. Rei seemed... relieved. ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack I: Misato "Ta da!" sang Misato, flicking on the switch to Rei's new apartment. The children were amazed by what they saw. It was very clean, for one thing, and the lights were bright white. The furniture was similar to that of Misato's apartment, but there were no boxes in the way, so random items anywhere. Misato gave a whistle. "This brings me back... looks exactly the way my apartment was when I moved in." "But," Rei asked, "where did the furniture come from?" She was very surprised. "Oh, these... Gehrin had no problem getting these here. Remember, they still have responsibility over you, Rei." Asuka and Shinji walked around the place, still amazed by what they saw. Asuka finally came out, and exclaimed, "Rei, you're so Lu-cky!" Rei smiled. "Oh, and Asuka, you now have the option of moving with Rei, you know..." Asuka seemed to think about it. "Well, not anytime soon, I won't," she decided. Rei found herself smiling, mostly to herself. Besides, thought Rei, Shinji's just a door away from her... I may have made the same decision. Rei had to smile. Eventually, she decided, It's alright that I don't have Shinji-kun. As long as there is happiness around me, I'll be happy as well. With that, she began to unload the box and set up her apartment. There wasn't that much to do, and soon Misato decided, "Why don't the four of us just eat here tonight, and-" "-celebrate," said Shinji and Asuka in unison. They were half smiling. It was more of a smug smirk. Misato was surprised for a second, and then brightly smiled, "Right!" Silence. "I'll cook," Shinji finally offered. His posture dropped. "Hai, me too," said Rei. Shinji looked back, and gave a small smile. "Always glad to teach." ... "This is so unfair!" whined Asuka. Actually, she wasn't really that annoyed. It was just bothersome to have to buy food. "Well, they're going to cook, so we've got to buy," Misato chimed. With that, the two began to quickly go through the store, picking out food. When they found each other, they were a little shocked. Misato has chosen to buy instants, whereas Asuka had opted to buy raw ingredients. Misato began to sweat drop. "Oh yeah, cooking... old habit." She put her items back. ... "So you two," Misato noted to Rei and Asuka. "When are you two going to get your kimonos for the Obon Festival?" Asuka looked up. "Obon Festival?" Oh yeah, foreigner. Misato thought. "It's a day to celebrate the dead, and we girls gotta dress in kimonos..." Asuka seemed to understand. "...and it's around the beginning of the break, so we may as well go shopping anyway!" Asuka beamed. "All right!" "Rei, how bout' you?" Misato inquired. Rei looked down a little. "Well... that is... well..." she trailed off. Misato decided to cut in. "Oh, we may as well go shopping anyway, especially for you; you don't have anything other than school uniforms, huh. Is that all you're going to wear in the summer?" "Well... ye-" "-I didn't think so, so you're coming with us tomorrow. It's Sunday and there won't be any school, and I didn't assign any homework, so it's a perfect opportunity!" Misato was leaning over the table now. Rei gave a weak (and terrified?) smile, and nodded. Shinji grinned a bit to himself. Poor Rei. "Misato, is it alright it I camp out here tonight?" Asuka asked. That questioned seemed to surprise everyone a little. "Yeah, sure! It'll be a great chance for you to see what it'd be like." Misato was ecstatic. Rei seemed somewhat... happy. Shinji, meanwhile, had begun to pick up the plates. ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack III: Those Women Longed For the Touch of Others' Lips "Rei?" "Yes?" Asuka turned over to face Rei. "Do you... do you think Shinji will ask either of us to... accompany him... at the festival, I mean." Rei still faced away from Asuka. "Why do you ask me?" "You've been a... new person these days..." At this, Rei beamed. She turned over and faced Asuka. "He'll ask you." Rei said. Strangely enough, her words had confidence in them. "What if he doesn't, or if he asks you? What... would you say?" Asuka wasn't very sure of herself as she asked. Rei smiled a weak yet firm smile. "He will ask you." "But-" Asuka began, but Rei had already turned away again. "Good night." She said. Asuka thought a moment, then lay on her back. "Good night." "And... don't worry." Asuka's eyes widened a bit. ...TO BE CONTINUED Author's note: So, how did you like the first full chapter of my first fanfic? Comments and questions are welcome, just feel free to e-mail me at hqofNERV@aol.com. From: HqofNERV@aol.com Author's note: And the second chapter is out! I just remembered that I haven't given credit to my pre-readers! Thanks to them, especially: - Alain Gravel - Toh Ee Loong My site, with the images in the story and all, are at: http://members.xoom.com/hqofNERV/PORCH.html Jesus: Joy of Man's Desires Misato gave a happy sigh. Out here, in the sun's warmth, she felt much happier. Passing by the shops on the side, Misato glanced at each one, and then found a shop that had some great looking clothes. "Rei, how bout' some new clothes for you, something other than those school uniforms?" "Well..." Rei began. "C'mon, Rei, you just gotta get something else to wear. As soon as you put something new on, you'll feel like a new person! Try it!" Asuka cheered. Rei's face seemed to brighten a bit, and she nodded. The three ladies walked in. ... Shinji found himself with Touji and Kensuke the whole day. They were just sitting at the guest table in the living room, enjoying the food that they had just bought, watching television and playing video games. They were having a good time. The door slid open, and immediately Touji and Kensuke dropped what they were doing and jumped to the door. Shinji sighed. From the door the usual cheers and some laughter came. Laughter? wondered Shinji. He went to the door to see what the commotion was about. Evidently, Hikari had come as well. "We met her and her sisters on the way, and she decided to come along," explained Misato. There was some silence. Misato began to grin. "I'm sure that's not a problem with anyone, right?" she asked eyeing Touji. The back of his head produced a great amount of sweat as he began to scratch his head, giving a disturbed smile. He seemed to be making an inaudible sound of some sort. Hikari was looking at the floor. She was probably blushing. Kensuke and Asuka chimed in. "Nope, no problem at all!" Touji gave a frustrated look at Kensuke, while Hikari did the same with Asuka. Both Kensuke and Asuka smiled brightly. Hehehehehe... ... After some commotion, the girls went to Misato's room to change into some clothes they had bought. Shinji, Touji and Kensuke resumed their gaming and slacking. After some time, however, there came some noises from the back of the apartment. The three turned off the television and listened. "-mean you don't feel anything?" It was Asuka's voice. Definitely. There was an very soft reply, followed by a "WHAAAT?" Asuka again. Finally, Misato seemed to say something, and Asuka replied, "Fine! Let's go!" At this, the three boys turned on the television again. As soon as the three came out, Touji and Kensuke immediately turned around to see Misato in her new clothes. Shinji continued staring at the television. There was no outburst. If fact, there was complete silence. Curious, Shinji turned to see what the non-commotion was about. Well, there's Misato, but she hasn't changed into- music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack I: Asuka Strikes! And then there was Rei, dressed in her new kimono. The three boys froze. Asuka grinned. "So what do you perverts think?" There was no reply for some time, until Kensuke finally uttered in surprise, "K-... kawaii..." "See, what did I tell you?" Asuka boasted. "So Rei, feel anything new now?" "Yes... embarrassment," she replied. At this, Asuka and Misato face faulted immediately. Hikari began to chuckle. Asuka rose back up quickly. "Embarrassment?!" She yelled. "You look cute enough to look like a studio pic!" Suddenly, Misato rose up. "Yeah! Let's go right now!" Asuka proceeded to drag Rei by the wrist outside the door. Hikari came out with a bag of spare clothes, gave a wave to the boys, and followed Rei. ... "Buy now and save..." came the yell from the commercial on the television set. This snapped the boys out of their daydream. Shinji twitched a bit. Touji rubbed his eyes, and Kensuke his glasses. The boys looked at each other, then shook their heads and faced the screen. ... It was silent for about an hour, until- "But she was reeeaaal cute, wasn't she, Shinji? Hmmmm...?" Touji shoved his grin in Shinji's face. Shinji sat up straight, obviously trying to hold back some traces of red on his cheeks. "And imagine, next door everyday too!" Kensuke chimed in. He too, wore a grin. Shinji began to start saying something, but couldn't, try as he might, get a word out. "So Ikari, what are you gonna do about it?" Touji asked. "N-nothing!" Shinji shouted. "Nothing?!" the two exclaimed. "How can you let a girl like that live next to you forever and do nothing!" "You've got to ask her to go out on the festival!" Kensuke was nearly screaming. "Y-you know how I feel about holidays..." Shinji stuttered. "Oh man," Kensuke roared. "You've got to ask someone out..." Shinji was cornered and cowering, but then he began to grin. Soon, he was chuckling. He sat up, and grinned at Touji. "Sure I'll ask someone... That is, if one of you follows up on your own words, and asks someone too." Now Shinji was grinning quite a bit, which wasn't to say much, but was quite a bit for Shinji. Kensuke nudged Touji, who had lost his smile. "-ahem-..." With two pairs of eyes on him, Touji began to crumble. "W...why me?!" He was on the verge of tears. Shinji and Kensuke began to grin even more. "N-not the class rep!" "We didn't say anything about the class rep; you did," Kensuke said softly. Touji fell back even more, sweating. More grinning. "Just watch the TV!" ... When the girls finally came back, they were laughing amongst themselves. Evidently, they had a great time. The boys looked up, and Misato bounded over and handed a picture to Shinji. "This is for you, Shinji-kun," she sang. It was of Rei. She was dressed in a blue kimono, holding a cherry blossom in her mouth, and a flute in her hand. It was very... well, it was very cute. "Ooo"'s and "Ah"'s came from Touji and Kensuke. Shinji soon found Touji and Kensuke's grins in his face. Kensuke's glasses were pure white. Touji's eyes were squinting. Both had gleaming teeth. They immediately dragged Shinji into his room as he struggled his best to get out of the apartment. The girls were left giggling and chuckling, and Rei was left blushing a rather bright hue of red. ... "You," Kensuke commanded, "are going to ask her out." "But-" "You are going," Touji raised his fist, "to ask her out." "But-" Shinji began again. Touji immediately whacked the top of Shinji's head. "Oops," Touji remarked. "That was bit... ah... fueled with enthusiasm..." "I'll say..." Shinji muttered. "Look," Kensuke said, "just... just talk to her." With that, Touji and Kensuke dragged Shinji out of the room. ... Shinji was being shoved towards the living room again, with Touji and Kensuke in back of him, forcing him onward. They were surprised the same was happening with Rei, with the three other girls shoving her forward. Shinji and Rei stood some four feet apart from each other, and they both looked towards the floor. "-Ahem-" Misato snapped, and the rest of the group turned around. Shinji began to sweat and sigh. Rei was still somewhat flustered from being tossed around. "Why don't we... go to your place," Shinji said quietly. Bad move, he thought, as They were pulled toward the door, with Misato by it, bowing mockingly. Shinji and Rei were promptly thrown out. "And don't come back unless you've got some good news!" Asuka shouted. There was laughter that followed. Asuka? Rei thought. Did I just say what I thought... Asuka wondered to herself. After some thought, she decided Maybe it's for the best. She was in too giddy a mood to care. ... -silence- Shinji and Rei sat at her table in silence, sipping tea. Say something, Shinji kept thinking to himself. As he did each time, he would gain confidence, which would die as soon as he thought of ...but what? Finally, Shinji started a sentence. "Um..." "You don't have to do anything," Rei interrupted. Shinji looked up, while Rei still looked at the table the way she had been for the past few minutes. "But I-" "Besides," Rei said looking up, "Souryuu is the one you should ask." "Huh? But-" "She likes you a lot, you know..." Rei finished. That really shut Shinji up as his eyes widened. ... Shinji stepped into the apartment he lived in, and found that everyone was up with their ears against the wall, some with a glass to the ear. "I'm back." At that, everyone tumbled and fell as they tried to gather what dignity they had remaining. Shinji had to smile a little. "So," Misato began, dusting herself off. "How did it go?" Everyone was staring at Shinji, waiting for an answer. What came next was not what they wanted to hear. "I didn't ask her out," Shinji whispered. There were a variety of reactions. Misato drew a shocked face. Touji and Kensuke fell down. Hikari twitched a bit. Asuka's eyes widened a great deal. "How could you!" Hikari demanded. "What were you thinking?" kensuke shouted. "Go back!" Touji screamed in desperation. Shinji waited a few seconds before answering. "It's not," he began, as everyone quieted down. "It's not... as if she likes me." Few may have noticed, but he was glancing at Asuka as he said this. Asuka, in turn, noticed very clearly. She had to look away. Eventually, the commotion died down. Touji and Kensuke left after another hour, both of them smacking Shinji in the back of the head. Hikari left, giving Shinji a very strange look, something of a smile, actually. After that, it was completely silent. "Well," Misato finally broke the ice. "You've all got harmonics tests tonight." Shinji and Asuka looked up. "Yup, Gehrin will be needing some data." "Oh," Shinji slurred. "I'll go tell Rei," Asuka said, leaving the room. ... In the entry plug, Asuka's thoughts conflicted. She hadn't gotten very much out of Rei the short time she was in her apartment. Why didn't Shinji ask? Why didn't Rei just accept? Was it me, did she feel guilty about me? How can I find out? Rei won't tell, and Shinji probably wouldn't, either.... Misato? "You're all done," came Ritsuko's voice. The plug's opened up. ... "Is it me, or are you kids getting lazy or something? You've all got low synch ratios! No wait, Rei, yours has actually risen. Hmm..." Ritsuko began to trail off in her own thought. Finally, she said, "We'll do this again in a couple more months. Bye." So Shinji's is lower too, huh? What was he thinking about? Asuka wondered. I wonder what she was thinking about, Shinji wondered. ... Innocence On the way back to the apartment, Asuka wasn't pouting at all, which surprised the rest of the occupants in the car - Shinji, Misato, and Rei. Each decided to keep the peace and not speak. Finally, Asuka had to ask, "Rei, how come your synch ratio hasn't dropped any?" "It's not that I've improved; it's just that you weren't focused," Rei answered quietly. "What's that supposed to mean?" Asuka demanded. She was also beginning to blush. "I mean that you were thinking about-" "So, Misato," Asuka had to interrupt, "what do you think?" Wrong question, thought Asuka. Misato began to smile, despite her efforts to hold it back. In fact, she was beginning to grin. Her lips were quivering and she seemed to be suppressing her breathing. Strange sounds emanated from her throat upwards. Asuka began to pale. "Don't answer that." ... It was very obvious to everyone why Asuka and Shinji had lower ratios. Shinji was thinking about it all in his room, that night. It was getting late, but he still wondered. So, let's go over this one more time. Asuka likes me (what does that really tell me?). She thinks about me enough that it's getting in the way of her concentration, even with EVA. Rei. She... ... ... she still has a mind clear enough to fully synchronize with EVA. What does this mean? "Asuka is the one you should ask?" But asking her would be so much... trouble; I've never asked her anything. I've never gone to a festival or had someone to go with. What do I do, and say, and ask? Damn it all, Shinji, there's not supposed to be any one formula for this. What if Asuka says no for some reason? Is there something I'm supposed to do? Do I have to offer something? What can I offer?... what can I offer her, or anyone?... what can I offer... ... ... So, let''s go this one more time... ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack I: Misato Shinji didn't wake up too well that morning, but after cooking, taking a bath, and eating, he felt much better, almost fresh. Asuka seemed very tired, and unlike Shinji, she couldn't get up out of bed. Misato, strangely was well awake. Of course, though Shinji. She was giggling to herself so much that she laughed herself to sleep pretty early. Thinking about it again, in semi-retrospect, Shinji had to smile and chuckle a bit to himself too. "Ah, so Shinji, how are... things?" Misato asked, sitting down. Shinji want quite able to find a... proper answer, which prompted Misato to giggle to herself again. Shinji was getting pretty annoyed, and slumped in his chair. "Well, look at the time," Shinji suddenly said, "I've got to go get Asuka and we have school soon. Bye." "I'm taking you, remember?" Misato answered. Shinji suddenly slumped even more. "And Asuka camped out at Rei's last night. She couldn't quite get comfortable in bed." So that's why she was laughing so hard, thought Shinji. Then I guess I'll go- As if prompted by his thought, the door opened, and in stepped Rei, and then Asuka. Misato could have sworn that Asuka poked her head in before she actually stepped inside, and that Rei was actually "helped" in the door. "I guess," said Misato, laughing, "I'll go start up the car now." She laughed some more, causing both Shinji and Asuka to grimace. "Hurry up!" With that, Misato left, still laughing. ... At lunch, Shinji was having a difficult time. Evidently, Misato had informed Touji and Kensuke of what happened with the harmonics tests. Touji and Kensuke were all over Shinji with questions. "So the demon likes ya, eh?" Touji asked. "And it seems that Ikari-kun also had some thinking to do, huh?" Kensuke came in. By now, Shinji's ego had completely died. "So you're gonna ask her to the festival, eh?" Touji asked, slamming his hands on the table and leaning forward. "I... who said I was going to ask anybody?" Shinji burst out. Some people turned their heads. Shinji waited until they went back to minding their own business. "Besides, Touji, you haven't asked the class rep yet." Touji turned red, but not from embarrassment; from anger. "We never had such an agreement! I was... I was framed... I tell you, framed! What makes you-" "Suzahara!" It was Hikari, from some distance away, calling out. She ran over and handed him a package. "Here's your lunch." "Eh... eh... ah haha... thanks, class rep," Touji said with a smile, sweating. She just couldn't have picked a better time... After Hikari had left, Kensuke and Shinji were grinning from ear to ear. Shinji, still thinking about the punishment he had just gone through, slapped his hand on Touji shoulder. "Aw, missed your chance." Shinji left, leaving Touji in anger and tears, and Kensuke with the camera in Touji's face. ... Shinji had returned to the classroom, and had put his head down at his desk in thought. He heard footsteps, and looked up. It was Hikari. She smiled and said, "I'll let you get back to your thinking," and she immediately left. Shinji was still dizzy from bringing his head up to reply, so he just put his head back down. ... Shinji felt tapping on his shoulder, so he looked up again. It was Rei. "There's..." she stopped, thinking about her words, "there's someone to see you." Then she bent down, and whispered into Shinji's ear, "Good luck." Shinji's eyes widened. music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack I: Asuka Strikes! Shinji was still confused, when suddenly, he heard a yelp. Asuka was shoved into the room. "What the-" she yelled at Hikari, who was standing behind her. Asuka regained her composure, and saw Shinji sitting at the desk. Suddenly, she was hit with a thousand thoughts at once. Oooh, no... nooo way... what to do, what to do? Run Asuka- no wait! That'll just give it away. Stupid Rei and Hikari for getting me into this... An -ahem- came from Hikari. "I believe you have something you wanted to say, Asuka?" "W-what?" Asuka sputtered. "What makes you think that?" Hikari held up a letter, one that Asuka had written. Asuka froze. "Well," Hikari nagged, "are you going to say, or do I have to?" For sometime, there was silence. Asuka, you shouldn't be afraid, just go ahead and say it! Asuka thought to herself. She took a deep breath, and then "ShinjiIwanttogotothefestivalwithyou!" It was so quick that by the time anyone had registered what Asuka had just said, she was already out the door. ... For the rest of the school period, Asuka couldn't look at Shinji, so she stared out the window. "I want to go to the festival with you?" What the hell was that? What's he going to think? These three thoughts occupied Asuka's mind so much that when the bell rang, Hikari had to shake Asuka out of her daydreaming. When Asuka looked down on her school bag, she saw a note behind it, stuck between the desk's leg post and the school bag. It read: Do you really want to? Asuka stared for another minute at those five simple words. Finally, she snapped out of it and left the room. She had a smile on her face, and was in a giddy mood. Baka. ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack III: Good, or Don't Be The bright orange glow of the sun setting welcomed Asuka as she reached the parking lot. It was a bit humid, but to Asuka, it felt like the warmth of an embrace. She stopped where she stood. She looked up into the sky, fiery red with passion. Asuka closed her eyes, and breathed in the air that was life. How perfect. It was break, finally, and Asuka had around a month to herself. At first, she had problems planning what she would do. She was restricted to staying in Tokyo-3 still; there weren't many places to go. Finally, Asuka had found happiness. It's not where you go or what you do in life that matters, she thought to herself. It's how you spend it and who you spend it with. "Asuka, come on!" It was Misato, waving her to come. Asuka smiled again, and strolled towards the car. ... The three children were in Rei's apartment, studying and finishing up their homework. While they worked, Asuka kept giving glances at Shinji, and then smiling a little smile when he looked up, just before returning to studying her kanji again. Shinji would blush before returning to his work. Eventually, they finished, and said bye to Rei. Chances were, they wanted to stay and avoid Misato, but if there wasn't dinner, well, Misato would probably just use the extra time to tease them even more until Shinji started cooking. Outside, just before reaching the door to Misato's apartment, Asuka leaned a little towards her right, towards Shinji. "Yes, I do." She could see his face erupt in flames of embarrassment. ... Back inside the apartment, Rei was preparing her own dinner. She had caught glances the two were giving each other. Rei sighed a relieved sigh. Maybe... one day... it'll happen to me. ...TO BE CONTINUED Author's note: So how's the story coming along? Good, bad? For questions and C&C, just e-mail me at: hqofNERV@aol.com. Thanks! From: HqofNERV@aol.com Author's note: I think this chapter may be a bit more light than the other ones. If I like it this way, I'll probably lean towards this style a bit more. If people start flaming me, then I'll stop. I also realize that it's very difficult to tell when someone is thinking about something. That is because if you visit my site at: http://members.xoom.com/hqofNERV/PORCH.hmtl ...you'll find that the thoughts are in italics, and since I write on Netscape Composer directly, when I copy and paste to Word, the words in italics and bold aren't shown. I'm also a very lazy person. Gome! -_-; Review scene: "Ah, Shinji, I uh... I hear you asked Souryuu to the festival," Touji had said. The "three stooges" were in the Katsuragi place, enjoying the days without homework. Asuka had gone to Hikari's apartment. "Yeah," was all Shinji could say. He was somewhat impressed himself. "I hear that you've also asked someone too." Kensuke, who had just been listening, lit up. "T... Touji?" He began to grin, and as Kensuke and Touji began to bicker amongst themselves, Shinji sat there on the sidelines, thinking to himself. Great, so I've taken the first step, he thought, but now what? ... There was also other news. The three children often resided in Rei's apartment, where Misato's demand could not reach them as easily. They loafed throughout most of the first week. Hikari, Touji, and Kensuke often visited. They would watch movies, play video games, and talk about the festival. Whenever this theme came up as the topic for conversation, the subject of Kensuke would rise as well. "No, it's alright. I just don't think I could ever find a female that could suit me," was his reply. Although Kensuke spoke the truth, and the others genuinely believed him, they couldn't help but feel that there would be times where Kensuke would be left out. He assured them that he would be fine, and that as long as everyone else was, so he would be as well. Rei, on the other hand, was... a wild card. Her new attitude in school - one that was more sociable and even friendly at times, was very attractive. It was so welcoming in fact, that when one takes into consideration that the nice attitude fit the pretty face that showed it, Rei herself was an attractive person. So was the thought in many a classmate's mind. ... Shinji sat there in the classroom, early. Rei, of course, was also early, and sat there in her desk, staring blankly out the window. Shinji thought about going over to speak to her, but with the other six or seven students in the class, he decided he didn't want to create a scenario. Shinji decided to put his head down. Eventually came the sounds of murmur around him. His curiosity got the better of him, and he raised his head... to see a classmate speaking to Rei. It didn't take very many guesses to figure out that he was asking Rei to the festival. Rei, in turn, simply looked up, with a slight smile. After a minute or two, it was apparent that Rei had declined the offer. Shinji breathed a sigh of relief. Relief? he thought to himself. At any rate, Shinji felt like speaking to someone now, and decided to go up to Rei, and see what she was looking at out the window. ... It was clear by the end of the day that Rei was asked a few times by others to the festival. It was clear by the end of the week that Rei was pretty popular among the boys and girls. It was curious to everyone why Rei wasn't accepting any invitations, and Rei's companions were no different. "Mm, Rei?" Hikari asked politely. It was just another day, loafing around. "Nani?" Rei replied. It seemed as if she knew what the question was. "Mm... why... aren't you saying yes?" Hikari inquired. Asuka was sitting close by, and listening carefully. For a few seconds, there was silence. "Rei?" "I... I..." she trailed off. Hikari leaned forward a bit. Asuka finally spoke. "Well?" She whispered so that the others wouldn't hear. "Souryuu," Rei finally spoke firmly. Asuka nodded her head. "If they were asking you... what would you have done?" Asuka sat back, and thought for a second. Hikari turned her gaze. Asuka finally had an answer. "...the same as you," she replied with a weak smile. Little be it known that Shinji was listening to the conversation, not the television at that time. Kensuke, however, could've sworn that Shinji looked a little sad, in regret, sort of, by the end of the show. ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack I: Misato When the day had come that Shinji and Asuka would spend a day together, the entire household was busy that morning, especially Misato, who was attending back and forth between Asuka and Shinji, especially Shinji. Asuka had a sense of style, so Misato would only go in her room to compare how Asuka looked to Shinji. Needless to say, Asuka's appearance outclassed Shinji's easily, yet both were just wearing kimonos. Finally, the morning was set and the three ate breakfast. It was one of the few times that Misato would not be found with a hangover. Shinji was bewildered by how kawaii Asuka looked today. She seemed to have opened her eyes a bit wider the whole morning. Also, Asuka was smiling a small smile, which went much further than her biggest smirk. Shinji felt... flattered. Asuka, on the other hand, was enjoying the day immensely. Shinji kept looking up and blushing, then looking back down at his food. I'm not even trying to open my eyes any wider than they were. In fact, I'm doing this almost naturally. Heehee, wait til' he sees this... heeheehee... With that, Asuka said in her sweetest tone possible, "This is very good, Shinji-" "WAAAAH!" Shinji exclaimed. He wasn't used to hearing this tone of voice from Asuka. He knew Asuka was teasing him, but it was so... so sweet that Shinji jumped an inch sitting down. A second later, Misato and Asuka were giggling amongst themselves. Shinji smiled meekly, and blushing, said, "Asuka, please don't do that." "Do what, Shinji-kun?" she asked in that same sweet tone. Asuka was having a lot of fun. "S-stop that!" Shinji's hair was flustered now; he was very nervous. Asuka began laughing. "Alright, alright... I'll only do that if I want some more attention..." Asuka assured him. Shinji sighed and the color returned to his face. Asuka's eyes and voice were suddenly in "cute" mode again. "...okay?" "WAAAAH!" ... It was beautiful day, really, and Asuka was delighted at how nice everything was. Here they were, Shinji and herself, walking through the streets, without a care in the world. Shinji felt as if Asuka was projecting an aura of elatedness, but he himself could not bring himself to smile very much. After all it was the Obon festival, the day of the dead. Shinji could only think of his mother... and his father. Asuka noticed his gloomy mood. Annoyed, she smacked him on the head. "Baka! It's such a wonderful day, and all you seem to do is not notice!" She shouted. "S-sorry... I was just thinking..." Shinji apologized. "How bout' some thinking about the beautiful day, and how wonderful everything is and all?" Asuka was about to beat Shinji's skull inside out... Shinji was wearing a worried face. "Y-yeah... wonderful..." he blabbered. ... -Author's Note: I really only added this scene to satisfy the audience. I personally don't see romance like this, but... well, I'm sure it will make some many Asuka fans happier, and it was kinda fun to write, so...- ... There were many activites today. It was, after all a festival, officially, not a funeral, so there were markets and small shows about. Asuka was excited as ever, this being her first time ever in such an environment. Shinji was amused at how innocent Asuka seemed when she was genuinely curious. She scurried here and there, trying this and that. Finally, Asuka found a small area where children and grownups alike were huddled near a tub of water. In the water were little shrimp of different sizes. It was a game similar to using a paper net to catch fish, but in this game small hooks were used instead. It was an extremely difficult game, because the little lobsters were generally aggressive as well as heavy, and the string on the hook was less than first class. "Shinji! Here!" Asuka waved. She strolled over with an inquiring mood, and soon smiled when Asuka pointed at the little "rascals." Asuka simply could not resist. She tried her luck a few times, coming up short. Shinji noticed that each time Asuka had the hook under a shrimp, she would pull the string up with a tug, hoping to do it fast enough, but each time the line would snap. Finally, Before Asuka could tug again, Shinji took hold of the line further down, and slowly pulled the critter up. It didn't even notice anything was happening until it was out of the water, but it was too late then. Luckily, or by skill, Shinji had his lobster within the minute. It was impressive how swift Shinji was. "Ooo"'s and "Ah"'s came from the crowd. "Shinji! That's great!" Asuka commended. "G-great?" After having heard many of Asuka's insults and stabs, this was something new, but not unwelcomed. "Looks like all that housework pays off; you're not the clumsy pervert I thought you were." Shinji smiled. "Don't get arrogant with me, Third Child. You're still a pervert." Asuka was grinning. There may even had been admiration in those eyes of hers. "H-hai," Shinji replied nervously under Asuka's stare. When asked if they wanted their lobsters cooked, Shinji was surprised. "No, thanks," he said, tossing his catch back into the tub before anyone could object. "Ah, Shinji, you're too humane," Asuka scolded. But when the owner of the little stand asked if the lady would like one cook, Asuka politely declined. Shinji looked back at Asuka. "In America we pride ourselves on good sportsmanship. Besides, catching the little fish would be fun than eating it in this case." she said. She immediately grabbed Shinji's wrist, and they were off again. ... Why can't he just calm down and all? Asuka wondered. She watched as he just kept looking around blankly for absolutely nothing. They walked along the small shops, and Asuka tried her best to get him to laugh, or smile, by picking out certain objects from the shops and toying around with them. Whenever Asuka tried something like that, Shinji would look back with peaceful eyes, and sometimes even smile, but he kept seeming so restless. Am I really that nervous to be around? "Shinji-kun..." Asuka began to ask... "Hmm?" Shinji replied. "Where do you go to... relax?" Asuka asked. Shinji smiled. So that's what she's been trying to do. Why didn't I notice? Geez, how... idiotic it must have felt for her... "Well, when I need to think, I-" "Great, let's go!" Asuka commanded, dragging him along. Shinji stuttered for a few seconds while Asuka took his wrist and wrenched him right and left to wherever she was headed. Shinji tried to find something to say, until finally he managed, "Asuka!" She finally stopped and looked back. "Ah...i-it's back that way..." Shinji finally said. Oh whatever... ... "When did you ever find the time to trudge all the way up here?" Asuka whined. It had been a long hike, and it seemed to go nowhere. In fact, it seemed as if Shinji was just wondering in his thoughts, not knowing where they were headed. "Well, I had a... lot of time after the Fourth..." Shinji decided to say. Too bad I was running away... But then, it did let me get to know Kensuke and then Touji... this was a great place, wasn't it? Shinji's thoughts drifted back and forth, until he finally stopped. Asuka looked at where they were. It seemed like a dead end. "Baka-!" she started, until she saw the view the hill gave them. Shinji sat down, and Asuka followed suit. Speaking of suits, they were wearing normal school clothes again, since Shinji warned of the hike. Finally letting the mood set in, Asuka herself relaxed quite a bit too. It was beautiful. One end of the sky was still bluish purple, while the other end was exploding with life from the light of the sun. There was wind blowing at their backs and sides. Asuka wondered at how nice it felt, to have just walked endlessly for about two hours, to finally sit down and let her legs rest, while the breeze, the view, and the mood set into her mind. It's like Heaven, she thought. It's like having spent all that energy to get through life, and now finally I can rest, and embrace God's glory... Asuka sighed a sigh a relief. "Wow... Shinji, is this why you never speak much?" Somehow, that felt like the right thing to say. Shinji smiled a smile of comfort. "Maybe... so what do you think?" Asuka felt the urge to lean towards Shinji. He noticed and seemed to sit up straighter, and then Asuka's head rested a bit on Shinji's shoulders. "I think this place is a better love poem than any that could be said by words." It was almost a whisper, the way she had said it, yet the voice sliced into Shinji's ears. He suddenly wasn't so tensed anymore. "It makes me so... happy..." Asuka almost drifted off into a nap in her comfortable exhaustion. "Shinji?" "Hmm...?" "What were you thinking about today? "Well... it is the day of the dead... I was thinking about... mother and father..." There was silence for a few minutes. Shinji's reply has aroused many thoughts in Asuka's mind. They weren't all pleasant. When Shinji looked back at Asuka, she was pale. "W-what?" he said. "M-mother..." Shinji wasn't too sure what that meant, but he decided to put one hand on her shoulder, patting it softly. Asuka eventually regained some color on her face, and was silent. Shinji actually thought she was asleep, until she brought her hand onto Shinji's. Shinji was very surprised, until finally he decided that the best thing to do was to respond with the same gentleness. The sun set some minutes later, and then the moon came up to entertain it's small audience. from up here, the lights of Tokyo-3 could not block the wonder of the moon. It's perfect glow shone through to the tops of the hills easily. Shinji and Asuka did not leave for a quite some time. ... They got home, and both were extremely tired. Shinji mumbled a "good night, Asuka" and proceeded to head for the bathroom- -when suddenly Asuka's arms wrapped around Shinji's for a second. She then gathered herself and released him, but she whispered (to not wake Misato?), "Thanks for a wonderful day... Shinji..." Asuka pecked Shinji on the cheek, and then went straight to her room. Shinji stood there for a few more moments. He was blushing a bit involuntarily of course, but he didn't really notice. He was just in thought. It was a great day... wasn't it. ... -Author's note: to all Rei fans out there: I'm sorry. I'm really, really, sorry... ... ... really.- ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack I: Rei II Rei looked up at the sphere of light, standing on the roof of the apartment building. They're probably looking at it too. Rei still wore her kimono, and wisps of air were tugging at her hair. Rei felt... cold, but it didn't seem to come from the wind. She curled up a bit, sitting down, but it didn't seem to help. Still, she decided to look up again at the moon. She was staring at it so intently, with so much passion, and thinking, and musing, and wondering, when- -Rei ran skittishly down the steps of the stairs and went into her apartment. She sat on her bed, and felt her cheeks with her hands. They were both cold. Sh-Shinji-kun? ... Good, or Don't Be The little toddlers ran in circles on the grass, pushing one another down, and then, with more care than adults usually ever showed, helped one another back up. "Sorry," one would say to the other, and then they would be back to running again. Ayanami Rei sat up in a tree, looking down below at the wild children. The wild, wild, innocent children. Rei was back in the park she had visited some days ago, deep in thought. The children ran up and down the small hills. They crawled up the jungle gym, and played on the swings. They laughed and squealed with utter delight. Rei looked up at the sky, perfectly clear blue. It was blank, as if God Almighty had forgotten to decorate the vast blue plains above today. The tree's leaves shaded her from the bright burning light that was the sun. It was the Day of the Dead, and Rei was alone. Shinji and Souryuu were off together, as were Suzahara and the class representative. Rei had some time to herself, and ironically, she didn't know how to spend it. Do I live only to serve others? To do what I am told? ...can I live without a purpose to fulfill? Some hours later, the children had gone, and other children had come and gone as well. Now, there wee clouds. They had come almost without notice. Below, Rei saw a pair of young adults together on a bench together. Rei stared for a second, and then lost her focus. She was still facing the pair below, but her eyes looked further, until everything was hazy to her vision. It was here that Rei could think even deeper than she had before. It was here... I am here, alive, created by God... to live... interesting, that... living, that is... what does it really mean? Am I living? I am alive, but... but... ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack II: Waking up in the Morning It was morning again, and somewhere near lunch time, the six students gathered once more at Rei's house. How convenient it was, really, that none of these children had mothers. They all arrived at Rei's apartment around the same time, and all of them, including Rei, had really just woken up about an hour ago. Rei gave a greeting and smile to everyone as they entered. Shinji had brought some lunch that he cooked, and Rei was cooking herself. Touji was the last to make it, and he had brought a surprise with him. Hikari let him in, while the others were busy preparing lunch. There was a scream... of delight? Everyone looked, and found that Hikari was squatting down and shaking someone's hand. It was a little girl's. Touji smiled at everyone's surprise. "Ohayo... ah, everyone, this is my sister." Hikari stepped aside, revealing a cute little girl some years younger than the rest of them. She looked around, her eyes active with spirit, and finally smiled, and waved her hand. "Ohayo!" At this, everyone waved them in with smiles. ... During lunch, everyone had questions for Mari. She answered generally with a smile. She was full of life, especially after having been stuck in a hospital for so long a time. After lunch, Touji, Hikari, Asuka, and Shinji (who was dragged in by Asuka) chatted about the day before; what had everyone done, where had they gone, etc. Kensuke was holding his camera, pointing it everywhere. When Asuka asked him what he was doing, he replied with mock tears, "My kids are growing up!" He receive many a blows to the head, but at least they let him run about with his camera. Mari spent her time with Rei, who sat on the couch above everyone on the floor. Rei looked as if she were listening, but instead to Mari she looked like she wasn't. "Ayanami?" Mari asked. Rei turned her head, and at the sight of Mari's curious and innocent face, her demeanor softened and became comforting. "Ayanami, why didn't you go to the festival?" Rei was taken aback, but she didn't show it. Somehow, Mari could feel her discomfort suddenly. "I-I..." Rei turned her head to the side and her eyes fell to the floor. "I... wasn't asked." Mari cocked her head to one side, perhaps to look at Rei's expression, but then she brightened herself up, hoping to make Rei happier as well. She's a nice person, thought Mari. "But why? I think you're very pretty!" Mari said, almost a bit too loud. This was a private conversation. She had really meant it, though. Rei looked back, and smiled. Mari could tell that there was some... some sadness (?) behind it though. "Thank you, Mari," Rei whispered, giving Mari a warm hug. "You're very pretty too." This time, Rei's smile was more genuine, which made Mari all the more jovial. She bounced up and down on Rei's lap and squealed with delight. "Arigato, Rei-san!" Mari beamed. She had said it loud enough that others heard, and turned their heads. Mari smiled, so did Rei. ... After some time, the children were occupied with a video game that Kensuke had brought, and were immersed in the glow of the television monitor. Shinji didn't play that much, so he sat on a cushion, where Mari had resided the entire afternoon. Mari kept asking Shinji to play with her, and he agreed for lack of something better to do. They played games little girls played, like a chant accompanied by a hand rhythm pattern, and jacks, where Shinji lost repeatedly. "Don't feel bad, Shinji, I've had lots of practice in bed," Mari said, smiling. Shinji just laughed nervously. He had been like this all afternoon. Mari, being the intelligent little girl she was, replied to his embarrassment with, "I'm okay now, you know, and it's okay, you know..." She was referring to how Shinji's first battle in EVA resulted in the deaths and injuries of civilians, including Mari. Shinji scratched the back of his head, which started sweating heavily. "Ah... ... ... are you... alright?" Mari blinked, and blinked, and finally decided to respond with a smile. Shinji looked down, and it seemed as if he was going to explode into tears. Mari noticed. "I...I'm sorry... it's just that... I feel..." "Responsible?" Shinji nodded. Mari smiled again. "Well, that's very sweet. You sound like my pa or something." Shinji chuckled somewhat. "So is your 'pa' a nice person?" Now Mari looked down. "I wouldn't know." Shinji looked up questionably. "I don't remember him, or mother." Shinji held her closer, trying his best to comfort this situation. "Sorry, I'm not... very good at... this," he stumbled. "This is fine," Mari giggled, bright again. "You're a very nice person, and nice people are always nice to be around." she looked up at him, giddy as ever. Shinji smiled and laughed with embarrassment. "...just like Rei-san." Shinji looked at Mari. "...don't you think so? I thought she was your sister at first." "Huh? W-what? How... how come?" Shinji was beginning to think about it himself. "Because you're both EVA pilots, and she's always nice to everyone, like you, and..." Mari went on for a minute or so. "...and because you asked Asuka to the festival." Shinji began to sputter a bit. "W-well, I didn't think that..." There was silence as the two looked at one another. Mari, being as lively as she was, couldn't stand the silence. She smiled a cute smile again, and said with joy (?), "I think Rei-san likes you, even if you aren't her brother." Shinji was stuck in thought. "How... ... ... how can a little girl be so smart?" He asked with a semi-fatherly grin. Mari grinned back. ... When Touji and his sister left that day, everyone said good-bye one more time to them. The little girl was in everyone's favor. Hikari put it nicely: "She's so sweet!" ... "I think Rei-san likes you, even if you aren't her brother." Shinji mulled these words over his head that night. How can an innocent voice be so... piercing? I think Rei-san likes you..." Shinji smiled. They were sweet words, and he wondered if they were true. His thoughts drifted back to the last few days of school... "You don't have to do anything," Rei interrupted. Shinji looked up, while Rei still looked at the table the way she had been for the past few minutes. "But I-" "Besides," Rei said looking up, "Souryuu is the one you should ask." "Huh? But-" "She likes you a lot, you know..." Rei finished. That really shut Shinji up as his eyes widened. ... why would she have done that? With that, Shinji decided not to think anymore, and he fell asleep. ... The children had gotten tired of doing the same things ten days straight, so that day, Touji and Hikari announced their idea of having a picnic. Shinji, Kensuke and Asuka agreed excitedly. They too, were getting a bit claustrophobic. Rei didn't really feel like going; she wasn't used to the idea of having so many people around her. "Rei, c'mon, the air will be good for you!" Asuka pleaded. "Ah, yes. Rei, haven't you ever just enjoyed the natural beauty of things?" Hikari followed up. "I... I'm not... comfortable around too many people..." Asuka suddenly smiled. "But Rei, we'll be to ourselves, and we'll just watch other people go by." Rei was silent. "Shinji, say something!' Shinji looked up at Asuka, then at Rei, then back to Asuka, who was mouthing "say something" to him. "Ah... Maybe there will be some beautiful sites?" Shinji squeaked. Asuka began to twitch. Touji jumped in. He was grinning. "I'm sure what Shinji meant to say was that you'd look beautiful outside, Rei." He began to snicker to himself. Everyone looked at him with a "what's with you?" expression. He suddenly stopped and asked, "What?" Finally, Hikari asked one last time, "So how bout' it, Rei?" Rei took in a breath, and finally nodded. Everyone smiled. ... It was a hill next to a forest. There was a large water fountain built nearby, where little children were playing, making wishes, and just plain delighting themselves. There was a small park at the bottom of the hill which then led back to the city. Everyone loved the view. "I've been here before," Rei said. Everyone looked at her. She was smiling some. "Really? What for?" Kensuke asked. "...thinking..." It was a satisfactory answer, as everyone marveled at how peaceful it was here. The boys put down the baskets and began to smile when they saw the food. Hikari and Shinji had made a joint effort that morning to prepare the food. Rei offered to help, but Hikari simply relied that Rei had been making the meals for ten days now; it was time for a break. Rei seemed relieved. At any rate, everyone was eating happily within the minute. The boys were laying on their backs, looking up at the trees, the sky, and the birds. Asuka engaged in conversation with Hikari. Eventually, the question came up, raised by Shinji, "Uh, where's Ayanami?" Everyone turned their heads, no one had an answer. They began to worry that Rei was too bored and had gone home. "I'm here," came her voice from above. She was sitting in a tree, looking down at the kids at the fountain. Asuka climbed up while the others resumed a conversation. "What's so interesting that you couldn't see from the ground?" Asuka panted. It was a high climb. "The children." "What's so important?" Rei was silent for a few seconds, and then she stared into space. "I never had a childhood." Asuka was surprised at the answer. She thought about it. ...me neither... it wasn't long before Asuka was looking at the squealing toddlers below, too. ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack I: Barefoot in the Park By the afternoon, the food was gone, and the sights were seen. The children agreed on watching a movie. The only problem was, what kind of movie? Kensuke, of course, wanted some action in the film. Hikari and Asuka vied for a peaceful and maybe a bit romantic movie. Touji and Shinji stiffened and immediately agreed with Kensuke. Action film, definitely action film, with no romance WHATSOEVER. The girls giggled and decided that they didn't want to sit near anyone with their own pool of sweat. Rei didn't have a preference, and decided that she wanted to go home. Her excuse was that she was tired. "But, but we're going to eat dinner after the movie!" Asuka shouted. Rei simply smiled. "I'm too full from lunch to anything tonight. Ikari-kun?" Rei asked. Shinji turned his head. "Yes?" Rei explained her situation and asked to trouble Shinji to make dinner tonight. Hikari decided that she would help. "Arigato," Rei finally said, and with that she left. Asuka sighed to herself. She's still a bit of a weirdo. ... Rei reached her apartment and fell into her futon. She actually was exhausted. She had hoped, when she agreed to go on a picnic trip, that she would speak to Shinji a bit. It's been a while since he spoke to her, even after ten days with him always within 20 feet of him. Sometimes, she just wanted to tell him that... and see what he would say. That night, the Obon Festival, Rei had finally identified what it was, that was so familiar. Her thoughts went back to 16th. Loneliness... The thought cramped Rei, and she curled herself into a fetal position in an attempt to contain and control this feeling, much like she had with the Angel. She found peace soon enough though, when she just lay still on her back. But... he looked so happy today. Rei smiled. ... They were finally home, Shinji and Asuka, and both immediately dropped dead on their futons. Shinji didn't even plug into his SDAT; he didn't have to. It had been a pretty nice day, really. A lot of new things today... Shinji smiled a bit when he recalled the events of the day. But it eventually fell on the thought of Ayanami on the tree, and then later when she left the group. Shinji was deep in thought. But... she looked so sad today... ...TO BE CONTINUED Author's note: This was definitely a bit different from the previous chapters, wasn't it? Good change? Bad? Please e-mail me with your comments. From: HqofNERV@aol.com Author's note: Sorry to get this one out later to everyone, but I'm slowing up on Episode 5, and as always, I keep my sight updated one chapter ahead of everyone else. Hahahahaha! Actually, it's not working or anything, because either no one cares, or no one reads this. Ah well... http://members.xoom.com/hqofNERV/PORCH.html Rei music: Neon Genesis Original Soundtrack III: The Heady Feeling of Freedom ...It is only the mind that separates reality from truth... ...There are as many truths as there are people... ...But there is only one truth that is your truth... ...and one can have a perspective that is far too small... ...For example, sunny days make you feel good... ...Rainy days make you feel gloomy... ...But you can have fun on a rainy day as well... ...A person's truth is so simple that most ignore it to concentrate on what they think are deeper truths... ...You, for example, are simply unused to what it is to be liked by others... ...You've never learned how to deal with the fear of how others feel about you, so you avoid it... ...Now that you know yourself, you can take care of yourself... Rei woke up with a start in cold sweat. She was trembling. Somewhere... somehow... Rei couldn't get the feeling that... that I have heard this somewhere before. ... After around an hour, Rei fell into a deep and very comfortable slumber. She was wearing a smile as she slept. ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack I: Barefoot in the Park Another day, and this one was spent back in the vicinity of the apartment. During most of the afternoon, the children decided to sit on the roof and enjoy the food they had brought. Everyone was happy and not worrying about the time; for two days, everyone would be at Rei's apartment. As they were glancing at the sun, the mountains, Shinji could pick out certain areas where his life was at its peak. There, that path was created when Asuka and I fought the Seventh Angel. And there, that hole there, that was the Fifth, where Rei and I for the first time connected. I think Rei may have gained humanity there. That Crater, it's where Rei... ... ... "Baka Shinji," Asuka snapped Shinji out of his daydream. "What are you looking at?" Shinji looked up with a confused face. "Ah... nothing." Asuka gave a very disappointed face. Shinji turned his head. "Nothing, sorry." Asuka sighed, rolled her eyes, and resumed her conversation with Kensuke, who kept asking her about EVA's. Asuka was the only Child to talk about it. Mari was here today. She was wild, jumping up and down, playing jacks with Rei. Rei herself did not find the game as amusing as Mari had promised, but she still played, though she wasn't sure why. Her face, thought Rei, it's irradiated. It's just... happy. This would prompt Rei to smile thinking about it, which would in turn incite Mari to be even happier. Touji sighed. "Geez, you'd think Rei were her sister or something. Mari just loves playing with her." Hikari looked as well. She rather liked the sight. The two were nearly twenty feet away (so that they wouldn't be too close to the edge of the roof, where Mari could...), and the giggles and smiles just lit up the mood. Touji spoke again, after some thought. "No, she's more like a mother." Hikari just smiled and continued watching. Then she noticed something. "Rei?" She called. Rei looked up, still smiling a bit. "What?" "Have you... been outside lately?" Hikari was a little shy as she asked this. Luckily for her, Rei took the question innocently. "Yes," Rei smiled and turned back to mari. "Eh? Why'd you ask something like that, class rep?" Touji was very confused. "Well..." Hikari inched off. "Rei..." Touji looked on with curiosity. "Her skin... it's not so... pale... as it used to be." Touji looked and began to notice a slight difference. "Well," he finally said, "I guess she is less of a ghost as she used to be." Hikari sighed. ... When it became the late afternoon, everyone decided to go back into the apartment. There, old movies were watched. Rei wasn't too interested in those films, and besides, Mari, was begging her to show her Rei's room. Rei decided that would be alright. Once inside, it was learned that Mari had a very nosy attitude and could not stop from poking around the place. Rei smiled as she watched mari open and close drawers, bend down to see where this and that were, and stand on her tip toes as she tried to look higher. Rei then looked out the window, where the moon could be seen just barely in the still blue sky. There were many white birds out and about, and the sun was still there. Suddenly, things were very quiet. Rei turned to see what was wrong, and found Mari staring at a piece of paper, her eyes darting back and forth. A feeling, worry, thought Rei, overcame and Rei reached her hand out and tried to grab the note away, but Mari wouldn't let go until she had finished. Mari finally stood up and around to find Rei looking at the floor. Mari was confused, very at that. "How come you don't tell him?" Rei was silent, not knowing what to say. Mari sat down. "If you like him, why don't you tell him?" Rei wouldn't speak. "If you do, you could be friends." Rei finally looked up. "I think we are friends, maybe even good friends." Mari raised an eyebrow. "Oh." There was silence. "So how come you never talk to him?" Rei scratched her arm, and was silent again. "I think I see him want to talk to you, but you always... run away." At this, Rei fell to her knees, and began to tear up. She looked down. Mari became worried, and patted Rei on the back, trying to comfort her. "Just..." Rei began. Rei was filled with a sense of sadness and anger at herself. Mari thought she could hear Rei whisper, "Just like him." Rei looked up and stopped weeping after just a minute. "I..." Mari looked at her intently. "I don't like him... that way." Mari decided not to push it, and went to get some tissues. ... Shinji Ikari, In a time where truth can be made and broken, I think that only you have ever understood me. I think that what you understood of me you always guessed before you found out your thoughts were true. When I left you behind the first time, I think maybe there was someone who did care whether I died or not. You know now that I was replaceable, that I thought I was, and I thank you for showing me that there was more to life than surviving and breathing lifeless air. Thank you even more for believing that there was more in me than there really was, and thank you for choosing to live again, so that I could live again, or for the first time. Because you believed, I became. I laugh, I cry, and I love. I love you, Ikari. ~Rei Ayanami "Well, first of all, Mari, you shouldn't steal...." Touji looked up from the letter. "But..." Touji was a little confused as to what should be done. He scratched his head. Mari looked at him, eyes intent. Touji looked at her and smiled at her liveliness. "I'll think about this when we go home. You don't understand, Mari, so don't think about this anymore, okay?" Touji put his hand on her head. "O...okay..." Mari was obviously disappointed. She didn't understand. She was, after all, only a little girl from elementary school. Mari left, leaving Touji in thought. She wrote it a while ago, according to the date, but she didn't give it to him. She kept it, though. Mari found it, and God knows what she'll think or do. Man... ... ... ... ... who would have thought? ... ... ...Hikari? ... Rei was fine quickly, and when she came out, Mari was dragging her by the hand, prompting everyone to look outside. "I just want to go buy candy," Mari said. "Ah! Great idea. We ran out of snacks a while back, let's go!" Asuka put in. Going down, everyone was stretching and yawning. They were all becoming lazy, it seemed. While the others were in the convenience store scrounging up supplies, Rei and mari sat out on the bench. Mari would stand up and point at various objects - planes, the sun, birds, leaves - and Rei would always smile, and sometimes, hold Mari up so that she could "look higher." Rei was deep in thought all this time. The fact that others knew struck a cord in her mind somehow. She was forced to face it and come to terms with it. Is this love, or just a mere liking? An infatuation? No. An infatuation is nothing more than a tidal wave, standing tall and proud, but truly lasting only a second at its peak before it falls and dissolves. This isn't an infatuation, although I almost wish it were. I wish this... this pressure could dissolve itself soon. Rei looked back at the others who were laughing to themselves and generally enjoying the freedom they had. Is this happiness or sadness? ... or both? ... music: (not from Neon Genesis Evangelion) Faye Wong: You Shi Hou(?)* *(it can mean "sometimes" or "there is time," both meanings are used in the song, which adds to its depth) Meanwhile, inside, Shinji was listening to his SDAT player while he searched into what drink he should get, although it was almost definitely be tea. ... "Shinji-kun," Misato called before she left for her vacation. "You know those songs you listen to all the time? I heard some of them, and they're mostly music that's pretty... well, I can see why you'd listen to them to take your mind of things, especially tracks 25 and 26. But really, I think they'd only make more stress for you. Why don't you listen to something softer to calm you down?" Shinji thought about it. I don't want to calm down. Actually, I don't listen to these anymore, but I didn't want to calm down; I just wanted to leave this world; to run away. "Well..." Misato came out of her room, tossing him a tape. "Here. It's foreign, but was pretty popular in China during pre-Second Impact. If you want to know what it means, I've got the translations to it from a friend who knew many languages in college. It's on your desk. I just don't know the title of the song." Misato mock bowed and smiled. "Gomen. Ja." With that she left to Ritsuko, who was sitting in the car already waiting. Shinji watched her get in to an impatient Ritsuko. Late again, Misato. Shinji sighed. But, at least you are letting us stay here alone. Guess you trust us more or something... may as well humor her and see what this sounds like. ... Actually, Shinji thought the song sounded really really nice. There was no doubt about it. The singer was Faye Wong. Shinji marveled at the beauty of the sound and lyrics (although he still didn't know what they meant, but they flowed very well). Thanks to Shinji's musical background, he could easily appreciate how the song used classical instruments to supplement the voice. Well, I guess I'll want the translation. I'll find it tonight. With that, he took a can of tea and went to the counter. ... Evening. Night. The moon. The sun is gone, and the moon is alone, so alone, with only the small stars to comfort it. I wonder if the moon feels any better though. Rei sighed. She was wearing a jacket, as she felt colder than she ever had before Third Impact. When the sun comes up finally, the moon must leave, but the sun's attention will be drawn to the world, and it will never notice the moon. Rei could feel tears coming, but she didn't try to hold them back this time. And when... when it is night again, the sun will leave, without ever getting to see the moon that shines... just when the sun must go. But today, there was a small time where the sun and the moon shone together. I think that they were very happy. Rei sighed again. "Ayanami." "Huh?" Rei looked up behind her. It was Touji. "Ah, it's you, Suzahara." Rei looked back into space. "If you're looking for Hikari, she isn't here." There was a moment of silence. "You know." Touji may have been a bit fazed, but he didn't show it, or at least not to Rei. "Souryuu and class representative Hikari seem to know as well." Touji nodded. "Hm." He was smiling at how ironic this was. Rei spoke to me about the biggest change in my life. I wonder if it's the same for her. "Shinji is the only one who doesn't know," Rei sighed, leaning against the railing on the roof. "Is it so unusual for me to worry about others?" Touji sighed, scratching the back of his head, "I really can't say anymore, Ayanami; all I can say is that you've changed, and that it was for the better." "Huh?" Rei was a bit surprised. She decided to take it as a compliment. "Maybe that's true." She looked down onto the lights below. "Yep," Touji was pretty sure of himself now. From a distance, one may have seen the two conversing, but later that night, there may have been more conversation, as Rei was definitely there for another half hour, and Touji became out of the view when total darkness set in, but one could not have been sure. ... "Eh? You-you found out?" Hikari was a bit worried as she sputtered out her words. Touji was very... firm where he stood. Asuka could see it too. Somehow, she didn't feel like taking the offensive, at least not on this subject. "From Mari." There was silence, as no one really knew what to say next. "Now what?" Asuka finally asked. "So you, Asuka, liked Shinji all along!" Touji suddenly burst out. He saw everything now. Wow, Rei, I Really didn't think you would worry about others. But was it really worth it, Rei? Asuka was a bit red, but she wasn't really that embarrassed for some reason. Maybe there is nothing to be embarrassed- "Now wait, Suzahara..." Hikari had to say something, but she couldn't quite finish. "And..." Touji suddenly calmed down and seemed very gloomy. "Tomorrow, when four of us leave to go out and have fun, Kensuke will go camping, leaving..." "Rie's..." Hikari couldn't quite say it... Rei's used to being alone. It just wasn't right. "Rei's..." she tried again. "Ayanami Rei is used to being alone." The three turned around quickly. They found Rei leaning against a wall, just out of sight. They went over to her, and found her looking down. Hikari put her hand on Rei's shoulder, a worried look highlighting her, and Touji and Asuka's face. "Rei..." Hikari bent down, and gasped. Rei's eyes were a hue of pink from the mixture of the hair shadowing her eyes, and the tears that she was holding back. "Rei..." Asuka was also getting a bit worried, and was about to say something, when Rei just turned slowly and walked into her room. There was perhaps ten seconds of time where anything may have happened, but all they could do was watch. With Rei, tears just weren't expected. ... Realization The doctors had said that I won't be able to move normally for another few weeks, but here I am again, stepping into another EVA. Laying down as they rolled me towards the entry plug, I can't focus. I sit up, and breathing is no longer- ... easy. But he, Ikari, gave me life, and so I owe it to him. The ground shakes, and I don't open my eyes anymore. I think... I think I'm going to die. "Ayanami! Are you alright? Ayanami!" He stands there, leaning into the entry plug. Things are okay, then, or he wouldn't be there. But, he has tears in his eyes. "Don't say 'I have nothing else.'" "Don't say a sad words like 'good bye' when we go." Here I am confused. I can't react to this; I've never seen it, never learned what to do. "You should smile." He's awake, and this would be the second time I greet him in a medical ward. "I'm alright," he says. Really? That's good. He gasps. Why would he- did I say that... out loud? I leave. There are people in my apartment. Ikari, Suzahara. "Sorry to disturb you," the latter says. "Those are your printouts." Hm. "Sorry, I cleaned up on my own. I didn't pick up anything but trash," Ikari says. !? I'm replaceable, so it's okay with everyone if I die trying. The Angel has been able to take no damage as it descends closer and closer to the Geofront. Souryuu's weapons have done nothing. I'm almost there, and- an AT-Field holds me back. It's almost... sad that I try this hard, as I finally push through, but to no avail. Maybe it will kill me now, and end it all. "Let me share my heart with you. Let me share this feeling with you." The Angel (?) speaks to me. "Doesn't this hurt? Doesn't your heart hurt?" Pain? No; it's something else: loneliness. Loneliness? Tears. Ikari-kun? ... You will not-! This isn't because I'm replaceable anymore. This time it's for something else- His eyes. So full of sympathy. Sympathy for man, for me, and for Ikari. He smiles. He says that only one can survive here, and that Ikari shouldn't be the one to die. I wonder... why? Is he, the last Angel, so stained with blood that he cannot live? No. Is he giving Ikari another chance? Am I being given... ... ...another chance? ... This time, when Rei woke up, she just lay there calmly. "You and I are the same," he said. I think he meant that we were both derived from an Angel, and then raised by humans. He knew feelings that I didn't. Kowaru, your sacrifice was for me, too, wasn't it? A tear was threatening to fall. I don't think I'm living up to you. Her thoughts went back to the Third Impact, where she and Kowaru shared a form. She knew then how different they really were. Nagisa, I won't disappoint you; I'll live my life to the fullest. ... This morning saw Rei smiling as she was preparing breakfast for everyone without the help of either Shinji or Hikari. Asuka came out today and was more surprised at Rei than she had ever been. Again, she seemed to have changed, but this time it was greater. The room was lit with beams of light from the sun shining into the rooms. Re's presence seemed to light everything up this morning. She's beginning to scare me, thought Asuka, just before she sat down and enjoyed her breakfast. Touji and Hikari were very relieved that Re's mood had considerably improved. Touji, however, was still thinking about her letter and words. Well, it's not my place to play matchmaker, so for now, all I'm going to do is watch. Mari giggled as she helped Rei with the dishes. Touji turned and saw the two flicking water at one another at the sink. He smiled. ... Asuka, Hikari, Shinji, and Touji decided to leave early for for wherever they were going. Kensuke was already gone, since "the army doesn't ever sleep past six in the morning." Touji entrusted Mari to Re's care. Nobody argued or complained. "Bye, big brother!" Mari was at the railing, lifted by Rei, as she smiled and waved. The four below waved back. ... Rei decided to take Mari out during the day; it would probably prove impossible for her to stay indoors for more than 24 hours anyway. Mari was glad that she could go to the park. It would be her first time in nearly a year. She squealed in delight as Rei pushed her on the swings. Rei also tried to teach Mari how to swing by herself. Rei then found that she herself couldn't even do it. They sat there, spending nearly half an hour trying their best to "fly" without the help of another. Finally, Rei got the hang of it, and Mari after another ten minutes. "If you close you eyes and just pretend, then you'll do it," Rei said. Mari's eyes widened. "Really? How come?" Mari was very doubtful of this new idea. "Because then your mind won't be distracted, and you won't be scared of anything. Now... go!" With that, Rei gave Mari one push, starting her off, and Mari closed her eyes. In less than a minute, she was laughing. "Look, Rei-san! I'm flying all by myself!" Mari was delighted, and this in turn regaled Rei, who began to laugh as well. Rei loved the feeling of swings and could only regret not having played on them when she was a child. The feeling of freedom, free movement, defying boundaries of gravity. Reis heart was at ease when she was swinging. It was here that she decided that she would, sometime, tell Shinji Ikari that she thought, no, she did, love him, for his care, his worry, and his gift to her. ... "Mm, Rei-san?" They were now sitting up in a tree, which delighted Mari, since she liked looking below at everyone else. It was mid afternoon, and the sun could only penetrate the leaves in the forms of rays. It was a very peaceful setting. "What?" Rei remained looking at the sun. "Why do you run from Shinji? He seems very nice to me," Mari couldn't help but inch out her words, as she felt very guilty from breaking her promise to Touji not to talk about the matter. "I was afraid," Rei answered. "But he is a very nice person." Mari wasn't sure how to respond. Rei looked down on her with calm eyes. "But next time, I won't run away. I promise, okay?" Somehow, Mari seems like an angel. Thanks to her, she's delivered me a message. Innocence can bring truth. No, innocence is a truth. Rei was smiling. "Okay, you promise!" Mari confirmed. She resumed looking below. "Ugh, just don't do that, okay, Rei-san?" She pointed a couple together on a bench. Rei looked, and blushed furiously. ... When it became night, the two went back to Rei's apartment, where Mari sat on the counter, watching Rei cook. Rei taught Mari how to make miso soup. Mari insisted that they put more tofu in. Rei learned later that Mari also didn't like eating meat. Mari insisted that they make a whole pot of miso soup so that when the others got back, they could have something to drink. Rei argued that they probably won't be hungry, to which Mari replied that if they weren't, they could eat it for breakfast. "Besides," Mari said, "I'm really really hungry!" As it turned out, Mari wasn't kidding. Rei then remembered that they really hadn't eaten lunch, which led to Mari's vigorous hunger. ...and she didn't even complain. It's a shame that Suzahara's father doesn't have time to raise his own daughter. He would have loved her very much. After supper, Mari wanted to run around again, the food re-energizing her already hyper system. "Why don't we..." Rei sighed, "go out on the roof and cool off?" ... "Wow, the moon is so pretty tonight! Look Rei, a full moon!" Mari didn't have to tell her, Rei was already engulfed with its glow. They sat down- well, Rei sat down, while Mari stood against the railing. They sat/stood in wonder for maybe five minutes, before mari had a thought. "When I was little, I think Mother told me a story. She said that there was a beautiful princess in the moon." Rei knew the story a little. She remembered it from... from...- "Are you the princess, Rei-san?" Mari asked, her eyes were still dreamy from staring at the sphere of light above. Rei blushed. "I don't think so, Mari." Rei smiled. Somehow, Mari seemed disappointed. "Oh..." ... Mari fell asleep on the floor in Rei's arms as Rei read a story to her. It was then that Shinji and Asuka came back. They weren't especially happy for some reason, but it sure didn't look like they had a fight or anything like it. ... -Author's note: To the Asuka fans: I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry... really. But don't fret; I don't hate Asuka or anything, and it definitely won't be a super dramatic event that caused this, so be patient and find out what really happened. Don't kill me.- ... Rei assumed that they were tired. She decided not to stare as they went to their respective rooms. Rei went back to the book, reading to herself. Although it was a children's tale, Rei had never heard it, so she was also interested in how the story was end. Maybe ten minutes later, Touji came back with Hikari. It was then that rei realized that these people - Ikari Shinji, Souryuu Asuka Langley, Touji Suzahara, Hikari Horaki, Aida Kensuke, and Mari - they were her friends. She had trusted them with the code into her living quarters. She trusted them easily, without setbacks. "Ah, Mari's asleep, huh? That's good," commented Touji as he knelt down to pick Mari up. "She's so cute asleep," Hikari whispered. Touji and Rei both smiled. As Touji finally had a good enough hold to pick Mari up, her hand still held on lightly to Re's skirt. Touji tried to inch it off, and succeeded, resulting in a "Okaasan," from Mari. There was silence. Rei blushed, while Hikari raised an eyebrow. Touji smiled eventually. "So would it be alright if I ever had to leave Mari with you?" Touji asked. Hikari let go a breath. She remembered for a second how she felt when she thought Touji was infatuated with Rei. Thankfully again, it was just an innocent misunderstanding.. Rei nodded. ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack I: Misato Shinji, Hikari, and Rei were making a joint effort at cooking. They had to rush a bit, since everyone woke up a bit later than usual. Breakfast was prepared very quickly, with no less in quality. Mari came out last, and when she sat down to breakfast, she ws very still. eventually it became known that she was dozing off. Touji laughed, told her to sleep more, and that he'd get her something to eat when they got home. After breakfast, Touji left with Mari. At the door, Rei stood holding it open. "Thanks a lot for having us over. It was great. Let's do this again, everybody!" Touji shouted. Many a "Hai!" came from inside. "Here," Rei said, holding out a bento box lunch. "For Mari." She smiled a small smile. Touji took it, and shook a still drowsy Mari. "Arigato, Rei-san!" Mari suddenly burst out, jumping to give Rei a hug. She fell asleep again. Touji sighed and pulled her off, waving as he left. Rei held a hand up in return (sort of a wave). Hikari and Asuka, for some reason were shooing Shinji back into the Katsuragi residence. "You have homework to do, bye!" They said, with one final shove. "B-but-" The door was shut. Shinji was still confused, and scratched his head. He sighed and decided instead to go for a walk. There was thinking to do. ... Oh well, thought Shinji. At least this gives me a chance to see what that song Misato gave me means. He took out the piece of paper in his pocket and began to read as he listened to the song once more. My, what nice handwriting... can't be Misato's... Kaji? From here, the words to the song leapt in, and soon, as Shinji read the translations, he thought of his heart, and those who he would love and those who would love him. He was sure of the former (his mother), but could not as of yet recognize the latter. For now, there was only a faceless image to that thought. music: (not from Neon Genesis Evangelion) Faye Wong: You Shi Hou (?) ... I It hasn't even been fully felt It's still the flower's blooming season, We're trembling together through time It is then that we'll realize how gentle love is. Our hands haven't even met Across a barren desert But after all this, eternal love can still be appreciated. * Sometimes there are times I'll believe that everything has an end Together or apart, they have their time Nothing stays forever with one person But I'd sometimes rather choose not to let go And I'll wait until he's seen everything Maybe then he'll settle down with me and watch a stream flow by. II I haven't even shown that I'll wait for you So that we can share together So that we'll miss one another even more desperately The gentle kisses between lovers haven't even been shared It's possible that when you're by my side you're seeking an isolated independence. * * ... Author's note: Yes, I could have just used a song from one of the soundtrack, but I'm just having fun here. Besides, the song sounds great, even if you can't understand it! The lyrics are not literally accurate and some of the culture in the lyrics were replaced by their meanings. For a deeper look into the song, go to the Audio Archive. Many thanks to my mom, who spent over an hour and half, writing the lyrics down in Chinese twice, then doing the research necessary to find proper words to translate them for me (I'm not that great with Chinese vocabulary, and she's not with English, so we took words from both languages used in the same context to find their respective meanings; that is, we used a Chinese Bible and an English Bible). ... Re's eyes were very peaceful at this time. They were full of sorrow and happiness, desire and longing. No one noticed. ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack III: The Heady Feeling of Freedom "Rei," Asuka said. She had about a serious tone as she spoke. "Be happy..." Rei looked at her questioningly. "You have plenty to be happy about." Asuka smiled weakly, but it seemed to be genuine. Rei pulled back a bit. ...TO BE CONTINUED Author's note: Yes, yes - Rei is definitely OOC by now quite a bit. But really, I think it's just the internal side that's really changed. To everyone else, she seems to be a bit more social, but I'm trying my best to explain that she's still a very quiet figure, just not too quiet anymore. Comments? Even flames? Just e-mail me. I do take advice. From: HqofNERV@aol.com Author's note: Yeah, this one took some time to finish, and I still don't feel that it's what I was aiming for. However, the story is told. This is a more depressing chapter, and it may seem to drag on and on. I promise the next chapter will be much more "fun." Of course, I've already finished it, since I keep my site always one chapter ahead of everyone else at: http://members.xoom.com/hqofNERV/PORCH.html Asuka's Love "Ne, ne, Shinji," called Asuka. They were out in a huge market area. Again, due to drastic changes in weather from the Second Impact, it was a nice day. Asuka and Shinji found themselves in the middle of something of a market. There were stores in the buildings, and in the streets. Touji and Hikari went off on their own and all had agreed to meet at a certain place at a certain time. Shinji looked up from the stand he was at. "Here, Shinji!" Shinji walked towards the store Asuka was in, knowing very well what he should expect. "How's this look, Shinji?" Asuka chirped as she picked out a sundress. It didn't look bad. It didn't look bad at all. In fact, it looked great... as great as the other two dresses that Asuka had picked out the few hours they were in this market. Ever since Asuka found that the weather here would always be humid and hot due to global warming, she immediately opted for getting more clothes. Why does he seem reluctant to give me some attention? Asuka wondered. Perhaps it was a bit more annoying that even though Asuka had brushed over hundreds of articles of clothing, she had yet to actually buy one. But, thought Shinji, shouldn't I be enjoying every moment of this? I don't... feel anything new. It's just Asuka, and it's just me. "Baka Shinji," Asuka said. She flicked his forehead to wake him out of his daydream. Shinji woke up with a start, and looked at Asuka, who seemed a bit annoyed. "Shinji, what... what do you feel like doing?" Shinji looked at her, unsure. It seemed like this was happening a lot lately. "I don't want to keep you waiting on me. You do that enough at home." Asuka smiled. Shinji smiled a bit also. He looked up at the sky. "Let's... uh..." He really couldn't think of anything to do. That is, anything that would fit the situation, being: - can't be something where still life is the attraction; too boring for Asuka at this time of day. - nothing too far away, either; no time before they would have to meet with Touji and Hikari. "...let's sit down, I need to rest and get a drink," Shinji finally decided. Asuka, who felt the heat of the day as much as Shinji did, agreed, and they went to the next cafe. ... It seemed like this was happening a lot lately. Shinji wasn't enjoying himself. That was for sure. Asuka noticed this easily, but failed to really acknowledge it. Perhaps she didn't want believe it. I had fallen for him that day we were alone on that hill... and he was calm, peaceful... and I was so happy. Why can't that happen again? Asuka decided to leave the store and Shinji breathed a sigh of relief. Asuka, try as she might not to, noticed. ... The two sat in a cafe, quietly sipping their drinks, tea to be sure. The silence was uneasy, as neither of the two looked at one another, let alone speak. Asuka was thinking deeply, while Shinji let his thoughts wonder. Asuka could stand this no longer. "Shinji, we can't keep doing this..." Asuka said, putting down her drink. Shinji looked at her with surprise, and nowadays, it took quite a bit for Asuka to surprise Shinji, due to the fact that they lived together. "W-what?" There was a hint of fear behind Shinji's manner. ... It seemed like this was happening a lot lately. Asuka thought to herself. I've lost some of that edge I used to have. I'm beginning to wish I had some of it back. I need it, so that at least if Shinji keeps acting like this, at least I could tell myself that it was my fault intently. Now, it's just empty and full of guilt. This isn't how I had hoped things would have gone. Asuka found that she was walking blindly past people, and that her grip on Shinji's hand has loosened. She didn't like the feeling, and immediately tightened up and went randomly into the next shop. ... "I mean..." Asuka's demeanor didn't change. "I can't always be the one dragging you around while you're too shy to speak your thoughts. It's frustrating for me... too." Shinji didn't reply. Instead, he looked own her can of tea. She seemed distant as her eyes wandered over the table. It was a very solemn Asuka, and Shinji found himself looking away, too ashamed to look her in the face. Seeing that she had hit home, Asuka felt tears coming, and along with them anger. "What is it, Shinji?" Now Asuka looked into his eyes. For Shinji, those blue eyes, with tears threatening, bore into his. Shinji found that he had nothing to say. Strangely enough, he reminisced how Misato had warned him a long time ago that "yes" is not a universal answer. Shinji regretted that she was right. ... It seemed like this was happening a lot lately. Finally, it hit her: Shinji just wasn't enjoying his time with hert. It was very simple, and Asuka's whole body suddenly twitched. It was awful. Her hair began frying her skull. Ants could be felt walking on her back. She felt shocked, literally, as if someone had just run electrical currents through her entire body. It was crystal clear now. He just doesn't look at me the way I look at him... ...or do I look at him that way at all? ... "Shinji," Asuka said quietly, "I've also wondered about me. Somehow, I don't think that I..." she trailed off. "...that you what, Asuka?" Shinji asked. now Asuka was crying, looking down again. "That... that I... that..." She couldn't say it. Not after the waiting that she had done, all that time of anticipation, of longing... she just couldn't stand dis- Shinji tried to calm her down by putting his hand nervously unto one of Asuka's fists. Fists? Upon contact, Asuka gasped, but immediately drew in a breath, and ran out of the place, one hand over her mouth. ... It seemed like this was happening a lot lately. So don't let it keep happening, thought Asuka, staring at the ground passing by beneath her. -Author's note: if you haven't noticed already, these are part of Asuka's thoughts.- ... "Asuka!" Shinji blurted out. He had just lost something intangible, and he stood to charge out of the place. By the time he was out the door, Asuka was lost into a crowd. She stopped running once to look behind her, seeing Shinji frantically trying to plow his way through, frantically trying to find her, before she resumed her escape, tears flowing. ... The sky was wonderful today, like always. For some reason, Asuka found herself looking at it more intensely than she had ever before. Walking slowly on a path uphill, people passed her by as if she wasn't there. Asuka felt lost herself, lost in the sky. The white clouds floated by. Asuka had been watching for so long that she noticed the clouds' movement. Asuka also noticed that there were no birds in the sky. No one was flying. The sky went dark. It would happen often nowadays, where the sky's mood would change erratically. Asuka was frightened, for she had noticed something. As the sky darkened, it did so in a gradual fashion that no one noticed. For a second, a split second, she felt the first time Shinji and Asuka were alone. She almost felt his hand on her shoulder. No, she felt his presence. Asuka decided, after having been staring upwards for around half an hour, that she'd run again. Besides, her neck hurt. ... "He was so boring, I left him at the line for the roller coaster," she had said. "Hey Shinji, wanna kiss?" she had asked just hours later. "I 'm bored," was her excuse. Shinji ran these thoughts through his mind as he sat down on a bench in a park. It was the same park that Rei often visited. Shinji looked at the children playing. Does this mean that she didn't find me a boring person, or that I was as boring as she was bored? Life was so carefree back then, but it was lonely for me. I've been given a chance to be with someone, why didn't I take it? Don't I enjoy being with Asuka? Shinji walked down the sidewalk, people passing by without him even noticing. He saw many people together, either as a family, a couple, or a brother and sister, etc. He was saddened that he didn't have anyone with him right now that he could call "family." ...maybe Misato, and Asuka... Shinji found himself thinking about these two people over and over again. And then. Shinji froze in his tracks. He lost all color from his face. He felt ashamed. Asuka, I've just been lying to you and myself. I'm sorry, very, very sorry. This time, Shinji found that there was nowhere to run away to.. Somehow, he didn't feel like running anyway. He began skittering quickly to and fro, many people running into him, and vice versa. Asuka... where are you? ... Asuka had been running around Tokyo-3 for an hour now. In her mind, though, through all the madness swirling about her, she was beginning to make sense of the situation. I like the guy, why can't he return my feelings with the same enthusiasm? I'm not boring to be around, I don't think... Why is it that whenever I'm with him, he seems even less open than... than when he's not? Do I make others around me nervous? I do. Why? I've tried. Ever since my self worth went beyond EVA piloting, I've changed, haven't I? Yes. Before, I really only had but one friend - Hikari Horaki. Now, I can call Shinji Ikari, Touji Suzahara, Aida Kensuke my friends. I can even call Rei my friend. She's also changed, hasn't she? Why? Is it because she also has feelings for Shinji? She either really likes him and just wants him to be happy, or she's a really good friend, and wants me to be happy. Maybe she just feels that she wouldn't make Shinji happy, and that I would... ... ...pretty nice of her, but... I'm not living up to that job apparently. I know that I'm happy around Shinji, why? He's not the best looking guy around. He's not the smartest, either. I can't like a kid like him... Finishing the climb up a green hill, Asuka looked behind her at Tokyo-3, her home. It was more of a home than the one she had stayed at in Germany for near her whole life. She realized that this was home, because of who was here. Shinji, first an foremost, had been a family to her. He had acted as a parent and sibling would have. When he was around the house, there was always someone for Asuka, and even though she had never thought of it this way before, she now realized that this was the truth. She was happy around him, different than the way she was happy with Kaji. Asuka resumed her stroll onward from the hill onto a pavement that wound itself around the mountain, connecting all the houses in the area for a person to stroll through. Asuka decided that she would put it to use. I can't like a kid like him... she felt honest when she said this, yet she liked it when he was around. Somehow, things that were true didn't fit. Suddenly, as the wind blew one more gust through her hair, and as the sun got brighter suddenly, Asuka felt enlightened. The wind died away, and the sun went back to its darkness a few seconds later, but Asuka still kept her clear vision. I don't like a kid like him... she began, trying to put it into words for herself, as if she needed to hear it to fully register it. That is, I don't like him that way. Gosh, this sounds corny, or over-used, but it's true, and I know it. I like having him around because I like the assurance that someone is always there when I need him. Asuka began to tear up a bit, though, as that last statement was not one of praise for Shinji, but one of shame for herself. ...when I need him. God! This is selfishness... true self-centered thinking. Selfish, selfish, SELFISH! He acts like a brother to me, more than that, but me, I just... I just act like he's just another person. Asuka chuckled a bit. She kept walking, now with her head low, so that know one would see her tears. That's part of the reason I felt that I needed him to ask me out, to be with me. It was a challenge, someone who wasn't attracted to me the way others are. I felt that I had to conquer it (selfish!). More tears found their way to the brick floor. But at least he saw me as a person for my actions rather than my words or my appearance. "He's not a pervert," I had thought. That's just another quality that I never noticed fully, that he could stand having me around not as someone to drool over, but as someone to be with just normally. And I... I... Asuka began running, bumping to some people on the way. ... Some time later, Asuka found that she was tired from the running she had done. In that time, Asuka realized that her running was just blindness and madness, and that she could not focus on a single thought, so she slowed down. She climbed up the side of a wall onto the grass above it, where she sat down. She had realized yet another thing. Asuka Souryuu Langley whispered into the air, where no one would hear her but herself. "Shinji, I look at you differently now, you know. Thanks... for everything." The sun was coming out again. The weather was very rocky these days, with sudden light showers, then moments of shine, then rain, etc. The sun stayed out for the rest of the day. Asuka looked in front of her. There stood a telephone booth, and suddenly, Asuka had an idea how to clear her conscience and soul today. ... Shinji searched hurriedly for his cell phone which was ringing in a nagging fashion. He knew it was Asuka. No one ever called him, and right now, there was only one person in the world who would. He finally found it. He brushed it off, looking at it. He wondered if this device, which he had always neglected, would be of any use now. He held it to his chest, hoping his instincts would tell him not to run away, not to leave the phone unanswered. Shinji sat down at the curb where cars were passing by. The ringing didn't stop, and Shinji's sense of suspense got the better of him. "Hello?" "Shinji!" Asuka's voice was very clear, and it was even more clear that she had found relief, and that she was crying. "Are you alright?" Shinji was suddenly very worried. "Oh, I'm fine, Third Child." From here, Asuka went on to explain her situation to him. "...and I would not be able to go through any more days, waking up with you next door, and thinking the way I do nowadays..." Shinji's face by now was calm, and he looked up into the bright bright sky. Shinji thought to himself, Me neither... "...This is just how it is, and I'm not happy about it either, but..." Shinji's face was still very calm as Asuka explained that she felt this was right. I know, Asuka... "...I'm sorry..." Me too, Asuka, me too. "Don't worry... Asuka," Shinji was now looking at the cars passing by, and he was strangely calm, relieved, and peace, and smiling a bit. "I understand." Asuka sniffed. "You do?" She was elated, that much was obvious by the nervous laugh that popped out from her speech. With that, it was over, and Shinji Ikari felt the uneasy feeling between them reside. Shinji was definitely smiling. Let's not dwindle on it any longer. "Hai. Don't worry about me. Will I see you at home?" The change of subject is just what both sides needed. Asuka was obviously relieved, and joyful, a few tears testifying to that fact. "Hai!" ... When Touji and Hikari found them a little while later, they found Asuka back to being bossy against Shinji. Strangely, though, Shinji smiled, and Asuka seemed to be enjoying herself. Shinji was still in his shy mood, but Asuka was back to shouting (less than before) at him, belittling him. Touji and Hikari stood there, bewildered. Each raised an eyebrow. It was at dinner that they realized what had happened, or at least they got the idea of what happened physically. ... Asuka's Love -Author's note: By now, I've realized a few things. First off, I forgot to give credit to Andrew Huang, writer of Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut, for the name of Touji's sister, Mari. Secondly, and more importantly, is that when I set out to write this fic as a romance instead of a heroism fic, I had a vision of what I would describe and try to show in my writing. I realize now that I have utterly failed in trying to describe love, for two reasons: I have not experienced this feeling, nor do I believe anyone my age really could (I'm 16). Secondly, I don't believe love is something that could be described, for if it could be, then it's not really love. Think about that. Now, with a clear, albeit sorrow mind, I continue writing.- ... "So what now?" Asuka asked quietly. She and Shinji were walking back towards Rei's apartment. Touji and Hikari walked some many feet behind them, talking amongst themselves. It could be heard that they were whispering, chuckling to themselves, and generally enjoying each other's company. Shinji had an answer for this question. It was the question that he had been asking himself for many hours. "Can't things be the same as they used to be?" Shinji tried his best to make this question sound honest and clear. Asuka understood, but- "How can they be?" Asuka asked, looking down towards the pavement where she walked. The fact that she asked this saddened her immensely, for she was very confused. Of course she would liked to have things the way they were, to a degree. But, Asuka felt that her recent revelations have changed her for the better, and that she could never live her life the way it was before ever again. Shinji seemed to have the same response to her question. They walked, blocking everything from their view and perception. Neither heard the joyful conversation going on behind them, nor the traffic that passed by. They noticed not the chirping of cicadas, nor the fact that they were at the door of Rei's apartment. The silence had lasted nearly half an hour. "But," Shinji finally ventured, "can't we try?" Asuka turned and looked at Shinji. She smiled. It was a very very light smile, something reminiscent of one of Rei's older smiles that would rarely appear some many months ago. "Let's see what happens." With that, Asuka suddenly felt lighter, as if an unwanted responsibility had been lifted from her shoulders. She was free, at least for the time being. Shinji seemed to feel the same way, and with that, they entered the door, and found Rei reading to a very drowsy Mari. ... Asuka went straight to the girls' room that evening. She was exhausted from a day's run. She fell into a deep sleep, and one may have noticed that she smiled for the few seconds just before she actually fell asleep. Shinji did the same, collapsing on the floor. He seemed to be sleeping normally, but anyone that knew Shinji Ikari would know that it was phenomenal when Shinji wasn't frowning when he slept. He didn't have any nightmares tonight. ... "Rei," Asuka said. She had about a serious tone as she spoke. "Be happy..." Rei looked at her questioningly. "You have plenty to be happy about." Asuka smiled weakly, but it seemed to be genuine. Rei pulled back a bit. Breakfast had just been finished, and the only ones left in the room were the first two Children and Hikari. Asuka found the others staring at her quizzically. Asuka suddenly became aware of herself, looked at Hikari and Asuka, and smiled nervously. "Nothing!" And thus began the girls' conversation about the night before; the testimony of Asuka and Shinji, to which no one was too happy to hear about, the testimony of Hikari and Touji, to which came slight disgust and giggles, and the testimony of a peaceful day of being like a sister, to which delight was received. ... As the day progressed, Asuka and Shinji had moved back into the Katsuragi place, when Misato came home. Misato, coming back from her vacation, was energetic. Evidently, they ran out of beer the first day, forcing Misato to be sober for another day. At once, Misato settled back at home, and began asking the two Children questions at the dinner table. "So, what did you do kids do while I was gone? Hmmmmm...?" Misato grinned as her own question popped up some rather indecent ideas in her mind. Asuka and Shinji, in turn, shrank in their seats, and waited to see who Misato would pick first as her victim. ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack I: Misato (I know that it may not mix too well with this scene, but I'm trying to lighten the mood) By the end of the night, it was clear that Misato had a pretty good idea of what happened the night before. Shinji found himself sitting at the table with Misato, the mood the same as the night he had first come to Tokyo-3. Shinji was very, very confused, and Misato was trying her best to cheer him up, except in this case, she was trying her best to counsel him. "What do you think, Misato-san?" Shinji asked, staring at his can of tea. Misato took a sip of beer, staring at the ceiling for four or five seconds before putting the can down and leaning forward to speak. "Well, Shinji, I'd say that professionally, you made the right choice, and that you're lucky. Break-ups don't come any easier than this." Always the bright side, Misato could make anything sound good. "But, it's like there was nothing there to begin with, and now..." Shinji rested his chin on his arms. "And now, everything's different, and I don't know how I feel about that." "Shinji-kun, these things happen, and you've just got to learn from them." Misato took another sip of beer. "Never dwindle too long on the past, but turn your head and face the future." The future, thought Shinji. He wondered how he was ever going to face it. "And don't worry, Shinji-kun," Misato snapped. "Now's definitely not the time to worry. It's time to enjoy yourself. And if you and Asuka can make amends, then try again, I'm sure that it can be done-" Misato stopped mid sentence, and took some time to think. "Well... Maybe..." Misato seemed to go off thinking again, but it was then that Shinji realized that Misato had been drinking the whole day to compensate for the alcohol she had lost during her trip. She was dead drunk. Some talk this turned out to be, thought Shinji. But, some of the stuff she said was very true. Was she really drunk to have said all that? As Shinji thought more about the mysteries of the world, he found that he himself was also very tired and decided to go to sleep. ... There was still the whole summer to go. The Children underwent synch tests again as Ritsuko had promised. Everyone was very bewildered by the results. From across the room, Misato came rushing over to Maya's terminal as Ritsuko kept calling for her. "W-what does this mean?" Misato asked. Shinji's synch ratio had risen again, at it's normal rate, and a bit more than usual. Misato was panting for breath. She suddenly became angered. "Is this the rush? Is this all that was about?" She asked, referring to Ristuko's berserk screams. "No, we'll get to that. Let's start slow first." Ritsuko had calmed herself and mentally already prepared a show for Misato. Ritsuko pointed to certain graphs in nervous mode, synch mode, physical mode, etc. "I'd say that the summer is doing good things for Shinji, and that he's calming down peacefully, which is helping him clear his mind of bad thoughts." "My, that's a professional interpretation," Misato grinned sarcastically. "And?" "Asuka seems to be doing the same. She's also improving a bit faster than normal. Same reason. At this rate, Asuka will be a fully operational and reliable pilot. In other words, Asuka seems to be stable now, more than ever." Ritsuko seemed to feel relief with the last comment. "Hai, hai, and Rei?" Misato wasn't impatient anymore, but she was still waiting for the "big news." "Well... Maya?" Ritsuko cued. Maya nodded, and switched the screen to full detailed information about Rei. "How do you explain this?" Ritsuko asked, taking a step back, her presentation done. Misato froze, her eyes glued to the monitor. Somehow, Rei's synch ratio had risen dramatically, soaring even above Shinji. It had risen over 90%, and now, Misato suddenly had a thought. "How long has it been like this? Maya answered. "Since she stepped in." Misato stepped back in thought. "Any ideas?" Ritsuko pleaded. It had been a very hectic session. "Just one - speaking to her." Misato seemed to squint as she said this. Ristuko smiled a bit, feeling somewhat sorrow for Misato. "Good luck." Now Ristuko was smirking. Well, it's gotten easier lately, thought Misato. Still... "Thanks." Looking out to the test plugs, Misato grabbed the microphone. "All right, everyone, you're all done." ... On the car, Misato explained why she was inviting Rei over for dinner. There was silence after her explanation. Rei was, well, in thought. She had a worried feeling emanating from her eyes. Asuka, after some initial shock, relaxed, slouched back, and declared, "Umedeto (Congratulations), Rei." Shinji nodded in agreement, and began to wonder. ... Misato had arranged to speak with Rei privately after dinner. Rei agreed, of course. They sat at the table, and after Misato had gotten Rei a drink, they sat down. "Rei, did you feel anything different today in the entry plugs?" Misato began. Rei clasped her hands together, and rested her chin upon them, elbows on the table. "Yes, I think." Misato smiled. "What was it?" Now Misato was rested on the palms of her hands. Rei, however, seemed sad, no, more as if she were frightened. Her skin seemed to go pale. Misato noticed for a moment that Rei's skin color had actually brightened to a point where it looked as if there was actually blood running through her veins. After some thought, her attention went back to Rei's quiet mood. "Rei?" "Can I, can I not talk about it?" Rei was very worried, and she stared at the wooden table. Misato was obviously surprised at this question. Rei has changed a lot for her to actually think on her own and refuse to answer a question. Still, this isn't the time. "I'm sorry Rei, but as your superior I have to know." Rei looked at Misato, who's eyes had a look that said "I'm sorry." Rei looked back towards her drink, nodding a bit. She took a few deep breaths, and finally whispered, "The feeling of mother." ... The next day Rei found herself tested in EVA-01. Her test results had led Misato and Ritsuko to discuss the results with Commander Fuyutsuki. In the dark office, the three were in deep thought after Ritsuko gave a summary of what had happened. "Many of the staff are afraid of the First Child as of now," Ritsuko mentioned after some time. "Indeed," Fuyutsuki mused. "The feeling of mother, hm?" Finally, Misato could stand it no longer. "It's obvious we're all wondering the same thing - Do EVA's act like mothers, holding children in their wombs? Do they take in the essence of mother before they function?" It was as if Misato expected Fuyutsuki to have the answers. Fuyutsuki decided to answer before some really strange ideas popped up. "Yes, Major, that's probably what we are wondering, but still is it really that? How much sense can you make out of this? If, Major, you were to hand me a direct thesis, then I would be inclined to read and evaluate it. However, I think that may just play a small part in all of this." For some reason, somewhere in the midst of his lecture, Kouzou thought of something. Yui, Kyoko, Naoko... what do they-... affection? Rei, Yui... do they... "Commander?" Misato asked. Fuyutsuki snapped back into the real world. "I've decided," he took a breath. "...that for now, we'll continue as normal. When more information arises, then we'll continue this discussion." Misato and Ritsuko nodded. It was as they had expected this meeting to go anyway. "Dismissed." ... -Author's note: Sorry to shove all that stuff in at the last minute... don't get it? Well, neither do I really, and nor do I plan to explain it fully to anyone, including myself. It's up to your interpretation, but you'll never know if you're right, so any of you complain or anything, I'll have an excuse to ignore you! Bwa hahahaha! ...-sniff-... actually, if you have a good idea or thought, please e-mail them to me, and we'll see what we can do.- ... With that, Rei was released back into a normal life, and was told not to worry about it, that in fact she should be proud of her achievement. Rei decided, in turn, that she wanted to forget, and thanked God that there wouldn't be too many more synchronization tests in the future. ... There was still a summer to go... ...TO BE CONTINUED Author's note: So this episode may or may not have been worth the wait, hm? I have but a few ideas for the next episode, but I'm sure that with some of the stuff I've started in this one, I'll be able to finish the next one with some answers, or not. Hehehe... I'm always open to suggestions as how the next episode may go. I've got the story line planned already, but new ideas may always be implemented. Just e-mail me to suggest what your imaginative mind has to say. Where do the EVA's come from if they're all dead? I think the answer to your question (and many other questions) is that this is the world Shinji thought of before he left. In End of Evangelion, he says he wants the world back, and Rei warns him that he will feel pain again, and bla bla bla, yet in the end of the series, Shinji is told that he has bla bla bla... In End of Evangelion, Fuyutsuki says that the world is in Ikari's son now. In short, Shinji molded this world a bit, but the EVA's, which had such impact on his life, stayed. I was thinking that if there were no more EVA's, then this fic would not be an EVA fanfic, because it could therefore be made a fanfic of many other series. Granted, the EVA's play a small role, but maybe they mean something...? Perhaps I wasn't very clear on how "the essence of mother" exactly fit, but I don't think I'm going to go deeper into this, since I don't think it'll have a plausible answer any way, but interpretations don't have to be true, so therefore they are all plausible. I rather like it this way, and I don't like describing the inner works of Gehrin, at least not for this fic. About Asuka, I'm having a small idea. I think that the next fic I write (the original) Rei might die, but , but Asuka might "be happier" in that one. Hehehehehe.... From: HqofNERV@aol.com Shinji's Loss With but a week or so in the summer gone, there was still time to go. Thus was the summer, the season of happiness and heat, that passed by the Children... ... Touji Suzahara, the "macho man" of the gang, spent at least half his time with Hikari, and the other half with his sister. He found himself forever occupied with the two most important females in his lilfe. He wasn't complaining. He still had time to hang around with Kensuke and Shinji at the Katsuragi place. With Hikari Horaki, he often went on walks with throughout and around Tokyo-3. This was truly the Age of Man. With the Angels defeated, man found himself generally united. Though most of the rest of the world was generally not involved in the actual fighting that went on with God's creations, there was now a common enemy and everyone found in the next country a common ally and friend. The fighting was not in vain, and countries from the world contributed to making Tokyo-3 a grand city. Tokyo-3 had also become the capital of Japan, and many more people moved in. The beauty of the world was found here. Along the streets and sidewalks now stood trees, and on every roof stood flowers. If there was an autumn, then then leaves and flowers floating through the air would have been enough to calm even the more turmoil heart. Touji and Hikari found themselves in the best of times. With Mari Suzahara, Touji found himself bringing the little ten year old everywhere a little girl would want to be. Sometimes Hikari would join these expeditions into toy stores, flower shops, and public pools. Sometimes, Touji would find himself extremely worn out, as Mari would invite some three or four friends along, and Touji would be promptly swamped with little children asking for piggy back rides, ice cream, and candy. Hikari thought that these were the times where Suzahara was at his cutest. With the other two "stooges" the boys would go camping, maybe fishing (to which they never caught anything), and perhaps to an arcade. Walking along a street, Kensuke and Touji would snicker and chuckle among themselves as one would point out a "babe" amongst the crowd. One thing would often nag Suzahara's mind, and that was Shinji. He didn't smile unless he was at peace any more, and the time he was usually at peace was when the prospect of females was out of his mind. The tall boy worried. ... Aida Kensuke acted as the "nerd" of the group as always he had before. His time was spent with his friends or alone. Both ways, Aida found that he slept very little. With his friends he would act as the (practical) joker of the group, to the delight (or horror) of his peers. Walking around, he was always talking, and probably drinking soda as well. Perhaps that was what gave him his energy? Kensuke found that the only time he ever ate anything other than instant was at either the residence of Shinji or Rei. It didn't matter to him; both tasted great. With his friends he covered every inch of the city. He designed a 3-d model of Tokyo-3, in fact, to the assorted reactions of his friends. Some people were amazed... no, all were amazed... some met him with praise, while others wondered how he could be so bored or find so much free time. Alone was where that time came. At the computer terminal, Kensuke found that he didn't hack as much as he used to, and decided that it was probably a change for the better. Instead, he played online games, wrote programs, and designed figures. Food and substinence were of no importance in this territory, and others often found it difficult to drag him out of the place, for he was either "really busy" or asleep at the terminal. ... Hikari Horaki, class representative and the responsible figure of the group, found that her time was spent generally happily. She thanked God constantly, every morning in fact, that Misato had assigned no work over the summer. So now she had time to go shopping with Asuka and Rei, or maybe watch a film that if the boys were around they wouldn't watch (i.e. romance). Sometimes, they sat around Rei's apartment, staying overnight, and generally enjoying the time they shared. Other times Hikari would converse with her sisters, who often had people who wished to be introduced to Souryuu. No one asked for Rei's attention, to which Hikari assumed was because they didn't believe she had changed. But when school started, there would be outbursts. The other half of her time was with Touji Suzahara... and sometimes Mari Suzahara... and sometimes the friends of Mari Suzahara... Either way or so, the girl with pigtails found that she enjoyed watching Touji as he juggled with all the responsibilities at hand. These are times where she would wonder what a nice husband and father he would be... and then she would blush... and the the little girls would point out she was blushing... and then she would excuse herself to the bathroom. In short, life was bliss. ... Much to the Childrens' surprise and delight was that there would be no more synchronization tests with EVA for a very, very long time. The reason wasn't given, but of course, the matter was not pushed. Asuka Souryuu Langley, for one, thought that this was just one more blessing from Heaven above to improve her summer. Waking up every morning, Asuka would take a bath, and enjoy the free, unrushed time before she went out to greet her roommates, who would be one of either two groups. Misato and Shinji would greet her often, and both would have something to do, and they would leave prehaps after lunch. Asuka enjoyed the morning conversations that were held until then. Other times Souryuu would find herself awake next to Rei and Hikari. At these times, she would wake them up after her bath, and then promptly go towards the television set before the others came out. With her friends, males included or not, Asuke distinguished herself as the "hothead" of the group. She didn't scream as much as before, but she always showed the biggest reaction to any given situation. Her friends liked her that way, and so she didn't try to change... not that situations otherwise would have persuaded her to give up her lifestyle anyway. Asuka spent the summer learning more about her friends. She found in each of them a quality that was each theirs, and sometimes Asuka would wonder to herself what qualities she herself held. When Asuka asked this question to her friends, they eventually, after a little thought, responded, telling her "that they could count on her the most in even the most dire situation." In short, she was the most trustworthy person they knew (ironically enough). Asuka was satisfied with this answer. ... Ayanami Rei, who was once a mystery too all people, was not a mystery to all people... with the exception of six - the others and Misato Katsuragi. Ayanami found herself to be something she's often wondered about before - normal. Of course, Rei kept her shy attitude towards strangers, but Rei learned much over the course of weeks. She experienced urges, such as those to strike up a conversation to the urge of purchasing new clothes for the feeling of freshness and new. Rei also identified with herself and others as she could realize when others were feeling sad, angry, or relieved. It was a great improvement over "happy, or not." Rei's time was spread to everyone and everything. Sometimes she would go next door to help prepare dinner if Shinji was not around. Perhaps she'd stay overnight as a result. Other times Rei would go to the Horaki residence to meet up with her friends. Half the time, however, was to Rei alone, where she might teach herself to cook more, or perhaps stroll about Tokyo-3, letting the actions of others entertain her. She was smile and giggle when she saw a child asking his/hr mother for a toy that was seen from the window of a shop. She was worry when there was a car accident nearby, and feel relief when it was not too serious, and that the lives of those involved were spared. Life. Rei truly cherished it. Life was more than living, than being happy and sad. Life was to live for oneself and for others, to help other people when prompted and to rely on them when needed. Life was to laugh, and to love. ... Finally, there was Shinji Ikari. He was special among the group. He was special in that he changed the least since the beginning of the summer. Still, Shinji would feel lost and still her would not know what to do. However, there was one change that others generally did not notice, and that was his will to understand. By understanding, he would face problems that existed until he knew what was going on, and therefore knew what he would do about it. However, other than that, there were still periods of time where Shinji would be alone... so alone, even in the midst of a hundred people. Today was one of those days. ... It was the last before school would begin, and every student could be found at malls, stores, arcades, and sites, trying to cram in their last day of freedom before the book s would be upon them once more. For people Shinji's age, it would be one of the last few times where they could live without responsibility, and be free. Shinji once again knew not what to do. He felt the importance of this day, yet was burdened because he didn't know how to spend it. Touji and Hikari would be out, while Kensuke would stay home, without any connection to the outside world. Asuka was going to go shopping with Misato. Rei was... was... Rei answered the door to her apartment to find young Ikari. She was a bit surprised that he was here, and that he came alone. "Nani?" Rei asked in her usual tone, which was to say, more inviting than the monotone she used to employ. "Ano (um; well)... I was... wondering what you were doing today," Shinji answered after some thought. Is Rei as lost as I am? Rei was a bit taken aback by this question, for she herself did not know the answer, and so she said "I don't know." That seemed to leave Shinji in silence. "What about you?" Shinji showed the same reaction to the question. He stood there in silence, and Rei finally decided to invite him in, to which he agreed to. Shinji sat at the table while Rei went and got some tea. She came out, and asked again, "So what are you doing today?" Shinji seemed to have been thinking about this question. He gave his best answer. "I guess... I'm visiting you." She gave a weak smile and laugh at the simplicity of his answer and the predicament he was in. Rei smiled, since she felt the same. They sipped their tea in silence for a few moments. "It's never going to be this easy again soon, Rei, and you've just begun to explore, why aren't you outside, enjoying the beautiful day?" Shinji finally asked. Rei smiled for she had asked herself this question, and now had the answer. "I am enjoying my day. You know, this may be the last time I'll be able to sit in my home without any worries in the world." Rei smiled at her own answer, because it reaffirmed her being in the apartment the whole day. "But, you've got to do something new for the school year... right?" Shinji wasn't really asking anyone in particular this question. "What have you done?" Rei inquired, her cheek resting on her right wrist as she leaned forward. "Aaaah...." Shinji trailed off. Good question. "I've... changed what I wear?" Shinji happened to be wearing shorts, something he's never worn (the closest thing being boxers), a sweatshirt (something no one wore in this weather), and most of all, a cap. Rei laughed humorously at his reponse. Shinji shrank and blushed a bit. Still slouched, but defended himself, saying, "But... but at least it counts... it does! It does too! Stop laughing!" Rei was giggling into her hand, shaking her head. She calmed down soon enough, and apologized. "Your turn," Shinji demanded. "But I'm wearing new clothes, too" Rei said, referring to the plaid dress she was wearing. For the sake of conversation, however, "But no copying... so... ... ..." Rei was in thought, and Shinji meanwhile had regained his composure. "Eh? Well, I guess you've got me there... so what should I do?" Shinji, once again, was left with a question he couldn't answer. Finally, meekly, he suggested, "New haircut?" to which set Rei off again in giggles. She kept repeating "new haircut" in her jovial mood. Shinji lost what composure he had previously gained quickly. Rei noticed, and stopped laughing. "Fine, I'll get a haircut, although I never really styled my hair before..." Rei was in thought. "Say, where do you get your hair cut?" This set Shinji in thought. "Actually, I've always had my hair cut by Misato, but before I came to Tokyo-3, my teacher cut my hair, and I would cut his, so..." -Author's note: Thanks to Alain especially for pointing out problems in the timeline with this little event.- ... Rei found herself sitting outside on the balcony of the Katsuragi place with PenPen in her arms and a towel draped over her shoulders. And so there they stood, two lost children, now passing the summer time. The sun was still shining bright, there were birds here and there (and in Rei's arms). The sky was a light blue which melded with the white all around. Tall building stood here and there, proving to the world their technological superiority, while the inhabitant below minded their own businesses. So here, in the middle of the sights and sounds of the modern world were two children, one acting as a barber for the other. ... Some time in the late afternoon, Asuka returned with Touji and Hikari. Apparently they had met in the mall. The three invited Shinji and Rei to all eat dinner at a simple cafe to celebrate the summer. With nothing better to do, they agreed. Some (being the females) noticed Rei had a haircut. There was a variety of reactions in general. Hikai liked how in general Rei's hair was just a bit shorter and therefore no longer as much a mass of tangled hair it used to be. Rei's bangs were very short now, and they hung just over her forehead, still keeping the effect her previous hair had. Asuka was a bit more surprised. It seemed that she would always think of Rei as a girl without much flair for style. Still, she had to admit that the new hairdo was interesting and gave Rei a more "sophistic" aura. Asuka was much, much more surprised when Rei handed all the credit to Shinji, who blushed and smiled meekly. Touji, who was a bit embarrassed from not noticing Rei's new look, began grinning at Shinji. "So, you did the hair, did you, boss?" Touji did this in full view. Everyone waited for Shinji's answer. "S-shut up!" Shinji squeaked. "I'm going to the bathroom." With that, Shinji avoided most of the humiliation that he could have been subjected to. ... It was now night, the sun had made a fast retreat behind the mountains. The lights were still many, emanating from the shops, the streets, and the skies. The five sat outside, letting the wind blow through the atmosphere. It was here they made a cheer... a cheer to what? Touji stood up with a drink in his hand. His smile (or was it a smirk or grin?) told the group that he had the answer. "A cheer to freedom," he declared, and was met by the others standing up. "To freedom!" They cried, just before falling back into their chairs, laughing with themselves, and enjoying the rest of the evening. This was the last time that everyone would be able to spend a random evening like this out together for a long time. The hills around the countryside embraced the glowing city, and at this night almost every child was enjoying their time. At this cafe the only other people around were all grown-ups, since most children would be going to sleep without coffee or tea to keep them awake. However, these particular children did not worry about that, because for all of them, it was easily arguable that it had been the best summer they had ever spent. ... Thus was the end of the summer. ... Messages music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack II: Waking Up in the Morning The morning found the three children (there's symbolism in how I didn't capitalize the "c" in "children") walking to school, since Misato had left very early to tidy up her desk at the office. The sun shone brightly upon these students, treating them with a beautiful sight of beams of light blasting through the leaves on trees. The pavement had been redone by construction to tidy up the new capital, and a fresh year was beginning. Shinji, Asuka, and Rei wore smiles to school today. ... Misato was forced to give a rather unentertaning class today, as she had to introduce the cirriculum, and hand out evaluations, and so on and so forth. There were, surprisingly, no new students introduced into class 2-A. Most of the students dismissed the situation as a matter of pure misfortune. Others, however, did not. ... It was the lunch time. Everyone, including Misato, heaved a sigh and headed out the door. Rei was left relatively alone in the classroom. Shinji had not woken up early enough to cook lunch for himself and Asuka, who, for once, couldn't blame him (it had been a great night/morning). Even Hikari didn't make her own lunch, and was thus "forced" to wait in line with Suzahara to get it. Kensuke also went. Rei, however, had woken up early enough to cook, and so she sat in class, waiting for the others. ... Touji stood very stiffly in line. Hikari was directly behind him. She was, in fact, very close behind him. Kensuke, on the other hand was in front of Touji, and Asuka was in front of Kensuke. To anyone who had even the slightest idea what was going on, it would appear obvious that Asuka and Kensuke had planned things the way they were. Since Touji had an idea of the twisted minds of his friends, he knew exactly what was going on, and wore a frustrated frown. Shinji noticed, from the front of the group, but decided to say nothing. He grinned, and thoughts of revenge entered his mind. Shinji actually grinned just a bit more. He couldn't stand it. "Oh gee, I forgot my money and left it in class, so..." This statement drew frowns from the two children in front of him, and one in back. Touji sweated just a bit. Asuka suddenly looked surprised. "Mien gott, me too! Shinji, would you...?" He nodded, and Asuka ran off, and Touji followed promptly, shouting for Kensuke to save his place while he left. ... Rei hadn't started her meal, as she was waiting for the others. To bide her time, she pulled out a textbook and began to study. A shadow found its way into the pages, and Rei decided to look up. It was a tall boy, behind whom stood two others. They wore angry faces, prompting Rei to ask, "Nani?" "I've been hearing weird stuff about you, Ayanami," the tall boy began. Rei began to frown, for she didn't like his tone of voice. "I hear that at Gehrin they're all afraid of you, that you're even weirder now than you used to be. ...You know what? I've always thought you're some sort of freak. Always acting so aloof and arrogant. You think you're so great because you're some bigshot Eva pilot with GEHIRN backing you up?" He was towering over her, and Rei would almost have slouched a bit, but pure habit found her sitting perfectly straight as before. Somehow, this seemed to anger the boy even more. "So what about it, Ayanami, are you some sort of freak, and is that why we have no new students?" Rei answered simply, "I don't know why we don't have new students in our class, and I'm not a freak... Please go away." Just some three months ago, rei would have felt nothing from this interaction. However, now Rei felt a bit of fear, though she didn't know what of. Rei did not like the feeling, and hoped that it would reside soon. That wasn't about to happen easily, and the boy stood up suddenly surprised at her blatant response. His anger seemed to increase, and he slammed his hand onto Rei's desk, causing her to jump a bit in her seat. Rei didn't bother to look at the boy anymore, and instead, with her eyes focused on her book, she asked once more, "Nani?" This set him off, and he threw the desk aside sending some papers flying, and Rei falling backwards on her chair. Rei looked up, just in time to she a hand grab the boy's shoulder, turning him around forcefully. He looked surprised for a few moments, and then wore his face of hatred again. "What about it, Suzahara? You think you're tough? Huh?" He grabbed Touji's hand and threw it aside. "I'll bet that we could easily take you on." Touji, surprisingly, smiled. The other boy was confused, and then said loudly and angrily at Touji's face, "What!?" Touji helf his fist up to his palm, cracking it a few times. "Who's 'we'?" Behind Touji sat two boys on the floor, one holding his stomach and head, the other his groin and , with Asuka towering over them, hands on her hips. She grinned her competitive grin, and spoke finally. One could tell she'd been holding in her voice long enough. However, she didn't have that much to say, except, "Easy." ... Three boys reported sick after lunch and went home early today. ... Everyone walked towards the Katsuragi residence together after school today, since Misato decided that it was time for another on of her gatherings. However, the only other grown-up who would show today would be Ritsuko, off on an easily deserved early ending of her shift. Asuka and Hikari walked ahead of the "three stooges," who could easily tell that Hikari was suggesting that as Class Representative, there were some choice words she had. Rei kept insisting that she was fine, and nothing drastic was needed. Asuka told Rei that if someone pisses her off, that she should react "in a more aggresive fashion." Touji sighed and said, "Good thing Misato-san is our teacher, or the event wouldn't have been so easily overlooked." Kensuke wore a dissapointed smile. "But geez, I wish I was there to record it." Shinji was, of course, somewhat worried, and mentally thanked the Lord that Touji was the hot-tempered guy he was. ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack I: Misato Again, everyone was having a good time this evening, but for now, there was something to be discussed for Rei, Misato, and Ritsuko. Somewhere in the conversation, Shinji excused himself for the lavatory. However, just around the corner of a wall, he could see the silhouettes of three females in a room having a discussion of some sort. It was either going to be a quick or unimportant conversation, as the door was left open. Shinji looked and strained his ears to hear, but they were speaking too quietly. So instead, Shinji just watched. It was a very easy task to identify Rei, Misato, and Ritsuko. Rei was standing in the middle of the three, arms at her side, speaking. her stillness reminded Shinji of a Rei from some three months before. Misato stood on the left, arms crossed. It was obvious that she was very serious, that this conversation was very serious. Ritsuko was still wearing her lab coat and had her hands in her pockets. Suddenly, Rei made a movement, causing Shinji to focus. Rei seemed shamed, as her head hung forward, and then Misato put her hand on Rei's shoulder. Ritsuko then did the same, and Rei looked up at her. Now Ritsuko was the one speaking, while the other two stood back and listened. At this point, Shinji was embarrassed to be in this situation. He wasn't the type to eavesdrop, and so he resumed his trip to the lav. Rei was found later coming out, and then joining the conversation. Misato and Ritsuko appeared about three minutes later. Shinji dismissed the thought from his head. ... As Shinji came out of the bathroom, he found Touji waiting for it. Apparently, a female had taken the other. As the passed by, Touji held Shinji back a bit, saying, "Oh Shinji... maybe you should comfort Rei a bit. I'm sure she'd feel better." "What? What happened?" Shinji didn't like the way this was going already. "Well, the topic of those dickheads at school came up, and Rei isn't very happy right now..." Touji didn't seem to really want to talk about it either. Shinji nodded, and Touji scuttled into the bathroom. Shinji headed for the living room, and found Rei in a very pale state. Kensuke briefed Shinji. "We asked what the three ladies were talking about, and they said that it had something to do with those bullies at school today. More questions asked, some vague answers, and Rei looking sad. That's all." Shinji nodded, and watched for a while. ... Since none of the three participants of the silent exchange were giving much topic to talk about, the topic soon changed, and everyone was in laughs again. Rei was feeling better, and there she sat, leaning against the wall beside a tall lamp. Shinji scooted over just a bit from the bean bag he was currently residing on, and he handed his video controller to Kensuke, who was more of a match for Asuka than he. As carelessly as possible, he stood from his bag, letting Kensuke take his spot, and Shinji just took two steps back, leaaning a bit to the left, and then falling against the wall. It didn't go as well as planned. "Nani?" Rei asked. She seemed to be in a quite mood. "Ano..." Shinji was still a bit taken off gaurd. "...you didn't seem so well just a moment ago. Was it about those three guys Touji and Asuka beat up?" This conversation could go anywhere, thought Shinji. "Yes," Rei answered. It was a very simple answer, but Shinji somehow didn't feel satisfied with it. "Anything else?" Shinji wondered out loud. "Yes," Rei sighed. At least that was a good sign, somehow... "What is it?" Shinji asked quietly. Rei looked at him, her eyes became slits for a second, and then she looked away, towards the floor. "I'm not going to pilot EVA anymore," she whispered. Shinji didn't quite understand, since no one was actually piloting EVA. Rei noticed the query on Ikari's face. "I mean," she began, looking towards the floor once more, "that I'm officially not the First Child anymore, and I won't every pilot EVA-00 ever again." Shinji was taken aback. Somehow, he wasn't happy with the way things turned. It wasn't jealousy, nor disappointment, really... He couldn't identify the feeling, but on the surface, should this be a good thing? At this point, that was all there was, and so Shinji spoke up, a small laugh joining his dialogue, "Congratulations, Ayanami." Rei looked confused. She looked very confused, and she was definitely dissapointed. "I mean," Shinji said, "now you can be free of anything that was your past. You're just a normal person now... I mean, your not one of the cursed pilots we are anymore... That is..." Shinji couldn't quite explain himself. ... "Man, boss, you're pretty dense," Touji finally bursted after he had quietly shut the door. He had evidently overheard Shinji's "conversation" with Rei, and then had found a convenient time to drag him into his room. "What? What are you talking about?" Shinji demanded. "I mean, Rei totally is interested in you, and you-" "Huh? What are you talking about? The last time she showed any interest was... was... was... I can't even remember it. What are you talking about?" Shinji was very confused, but probably not as much as he let on. "You know, I'll bet Rei was hoping that leaving Gehrin would be more of an impact to you than you showed." Shinji obviously wasn't understanding any more than he was before. Touji began to sigh, and his hand shuffled around his pocket. Finally, he pulled out a piece of paper, a not of some sort, and handed it to Shinji. Shinji took it slowly, and began to unfold it, eyes on Touji, who had coughed into his hand and rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. It was from Rei. This letter was a very old letter from Rei. Shinji Ikari, In a time where truth can be made and broken, I think that only you have ever understood me. I think that what you understood of me you always guessed before you found out your thoughts were true. When I left you behind the first time, I think maybe there was someone who did care whether I died or not. You know now that I was replaceable, that I thought I was, and I thank you for showing me that there was more to life than surviving and breathing lifeless air. Thank you even more for believing that there was more in me than there really was, and thank you for choosing to live again, so that I could live again, or for the first time. Because you believed, I became. I laugh, I cry, and I love. I love you, Ikari. ~Rei Ayanami Shinji's eyes were a bit wider than they were before by the time he finished reading the note. Touji sighed to himself. "Yep, I generally don't like interfering in these things... not what a man would do, you know... but... you'd better feel pretty damn special right now, Ikari." ... During the rest of the party, Shinji looked at Rei a bit differently. He couldn't quite identify it, but a giddy mood would enter his body at times, followed soon by fear. But, to not give anything away, he'd continue with what he was doing. Of course, if he was near Rei, he'd be a bit shy, but that fit perfectly with his normal attitude anyway. Yeah, thought Shinji, Perfect. The party was shorter, since there was school tomorrow and work as well. ... Now, Shinji had everything against global warming (well, actually, it would be more accurate to say that he didn't especially like it), but he had to admit, the sunny days were very comforting. Of course, there were also rainy days, but on mornings like these, where he would walk with two good friends by his side, he would have to thank nature for its show. The sun's light, the trees' glow, the comforting embrace of heat, Shinji actually felt like talking this morning. The only topic was of Misato, and how she had been going early to school these mornings. Asuka, of course, had some interesting theories as to what was going on. Rei generally stayed out of these discussions, rather intent on listening to others liven the mood. Shinji noticed that Rei was looking at him with a smile today, and though of course it was a somewhat good feeling, Shinji couldn't help but feel even more nervous. Still speaking, he looked forward again, and kept walking. Rei noticed Shinji's actions, but did not falter. It's such a happy day, though... Her thoughts wandered off for a few seconds on how now she was just a normal girl, going to school, talking with friends, and not worrying about anything else. Rei was lucky, too, and she knew it. Rei still lived in the apartment next to Shinji and Asuka, and Gehrin would not even have to pay for her well being. The entire country's board had decided that Rei live through her life without such responsibilities as taxes until she was independent with a life ahead of her. The excuse Gehrin had given for the proposal was that the world owed her at least that much. Misato saw to it that Rei receive every benefit she could weasel out of the nation. Rei would receive spending money monthly as well from Gehrin. ... Today at school, it had been widely learned that Rei was no longer the First Child. Evidently, there was a bit of news about the subject. People seemed to approach Rei differently now. Some people, who didn't know her, looked at her as a useless doll. Others, mostly everyone else, who noticed her evolution of social skills, gave her either congrats or sympathies. Asuka was one of the former. Rei smiled to all these approaches, gave thanks, and went her way. Shinji was a different story. He had been deep in thought for a long time now, and decided on congrats as well. He decided that his first reaction to this change of events was the most true. She has a chance to be normal now. There's nothing holding her back. Congratulations, Ayanami Rei. I'm just normal now, and everyone will see me that way, thought Rei. Generally, this was a good thing. There was one exception, and that was the case of Ikari Shinji. Rei sighed in class, and a few people noticed, just before turning their heads back to the active (and attractive) instructor. ...TO BE CONTINUED Author's note: This is the second to last episode. I was actually expect having a very difficult time with this episode, but due to changes of plans, I decided to make just a simple and generally happy-mooded chapter. Like it this way? Looking for more introspection? E-mail me and I'll take that into account for the last episode. Oh yes, and there will also be an epilogue, which I am a bit looking forward to. From: HqofNERV@aol.com Semi-Finale It was autumn. Definitely autumn. Misato had said that the weather would be coming back slowly to normal, and that seasons would once again appear, but this was too early still. Rei walked to school, as always, but today she wore a thin white sweater. Passing by the park she had so often visited, she but down her bag for a few seconds, standing up, letting the gentle breeze carry the leaves and flowers through her hair. Where Rei was standing, she could see pink petals flying from the many cherry blossom trees that stood in the park. In the distance, some of the trees were turning yellow. Some were still green, but hopefully, that would not be for long. It was beautiful. ... music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack II: When I Find Peace of Mind It was well into the school year, and the students were all wondering about their future high school and even college. It seemed that to everyone the future was upon them, and now was the time for choices to be made. Rei had long ago decided what she would become, since, unlike Shinji and Asuka, she could not become an EVA pilot forever. Even with the EVA's no longer in action, pilots were still needed for the tests and research to continue. Shinji and Asuka's futures were easily confirmed. Not so was it with Ayanami Rei. Rei aimed her life toward writing. Poetry was her talent, in fact, as many teachers in the school were impressed with Rei's realistic/non-realistic writing. It seemed that no matter Rei wrote about, it could be easily identified, and therefore easily enjoyable. Rei found a small fame about her talent. It was not scarce that a fellow classmate would step up to her, asking her to write a poem for a boy they were interested in. Also, Rei ended up heading a small project at the school, a literary journal it was. The idea was to collect some of the best writing this school has seen and compile it into small book which would be handed out the last day of school. It was Rei's hobby, work and life, and she loved it. ... A few days before... Shinji also enjoyed reading Rei's poems. In fact, Rei had actually let Shinji "edit" anything she wrote, but actually all he ever really did was just read them, and wonder to himself how this could be the Rei who seemed like such an emotionless being just less than a year ago. Rei secretly wished that she had done things differently that year ago. In her heart, everytime she handed something new to Shinji with a smile, she felt regret and sadness. In her desk was a note that she had written a very long time ago, but never dared have Shinji read it. She had left it- - ... It was night time when Rei realized that she never saw Mari put that note back. She wondered what Mari would have done with it. Would she have directly given it to Shinji? No, Mari was not that kind of a child, and showed great intellect instead. Although nothing seems to have gone wrong, why do I have a feeling that Shinji-kun knows, or will know? Where is that note right now? Shinji was actually at Rei's apartment while she thought about these things. However, she brushed them away, and when she appeared to Shinji finally, she acted as if nothing had happened, because inside, Rei hoped nothing had happened. "Ayanami, beautiful as always," Shinji said, referring to Rei's latest sonnet. Rei contributed to almost ten percent of the literary journal so far, but no one on her small staff really complained nor argued. It bothered Rei every time Shinji called her "Ayanami." To others it may have represented respect for the girl, but to Rei, it just reminded her of her past, when Shinji was too afraid of her not to call her "Ayanami." It was not that much of a bother, however, and was easily disregarded. ... And so did the days pass by. Shinji found himself at peace, because his life was now very simple and routine. For him, such was bliss. He loved waking up in the morning to Asuka's sweet voice- "Wake up, baka Shinji!" - okay, so that wasn't such a great part of the day. But he liked the rush in morning, because he wasn't really awake as he dressed, washed his face, and prepared food for the day. He was still dreaming, and thanking God, albeit groggily, that his life was normal, or at least as "normal" as can be. The simple routine, without anything unexpected to ruin it, seemed like what everyone should have dreamed of, and Shinji smiled when he thought of all the people looking for excitement in their lives. Not Shinji Ikari, however. No, he'd had his fill of excitement, nearly to the point of death. Running to school now often became walking to school. Asuka woke up earlier these mornings, ready for school to start. Shinji had officially declared a month ago that there was no more Japanese that he could teach Asuka. His teachings bore fruit quickly, as Asuka became one of the brightest students in the class. Actually, Asuka was always bright, but it took Shinji to break a barrier that she admittedly needed assistance with. So now every morning Asuka enjoyed the attention from others much more so because she believed she now had more than her physical beauty to attract others. She proved she had an intellect to be competed with as well. Trying her best to be a model student (instead of a model person), Asuka found that making goals that were attainable was not unambitious, but wise. Although some other females and even some males despised her for being "little Ms. Perfect," Asuka found it easy to ignore those comments. She really had nothing to prove to anyone else, just to herself. Yes, a smile was often worn by Asuka Souryuu Langley when she enter class 2-A, welcoming the smell of a fresh classroom. Sometimes, while strolling and listening to Asuka's conversation, they would meet up with Rei some distance before the gate to school. They would greet each other, and Asuka would immediately bombard Rei with questions and comments. Within seconds, a string of conversations would be carried back and forth between the two, leaving Shinji to think for himself, which he really didn't mind. Shinji sometimes wondered, Where does Ayanami go before she meets us? She lives next door, and yet we never see her. I wonder where- music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack I: Asuka Strikes! "Shinji! I thought you said that it would always be summer here! I bought all those summer clothes for nothing! How can there be autumn here? How?" Asuka pounced, while Shinji began to sweat very nervously. Not another one of these situations... please God, if you could spare a bit of grace... "Well, er... you see, Asuka, Misato said..." Shinji tried his best to save himself. Even though Asuka's a burden often, she's actually really nice to be around- -POW- Well, thanks for trying, God... -POW- -WHAM- -CLONK- People passing by grimaced as they watch the onslaught. Others were amused (Actually, everyone seemed amused, but some couldn't bear the thought of such things happening to them). Well, if there was a weakness for Asuka Souryuu Langley, it lied in her impatience. Seconds later Shinji found himself on the floor with several craters in his head, Asuka fuming as she left, and Rei taking one last look behind her and giggling at Shinji's unfortunate situation before following Asuka. ...relatively speaking, of course... ... ...ow... Stumbling into the classroom, Touji and Kensuke could be found. Cannon fodder, thought Shinji. He still caught a glare from Asuka, and rolled his eyes back in front of him, hoping that acting as if nothing had happened would yield peace. He made it to his desk without so much as a grunt from Asuka. "Marital differences, I'm sure," Touji whispered, coughing a bit to himself. He was staring at Shinji's rustled hair and his hand on his chin. "Of course," Kensuke chimed in, with something the effect of -ahem-. Kensuke was a bit surprised by what he saw as well. Why me? thought Shinji, and with a clunk he fell face first onto his desk, drawing out giggles from many females in the classroom. ... Christmas Eve, and the children (Shinji Ikari, Asuka Souryuu Langley, Ayanami Rei, Touji Suzahara, Hikari Horaki, Aida Kensuke) and Gehrin engineers (Ritsuko Akagi, Hyuuga Makoto, Aoba Shiguru, and Maya Ibuki) found themselves at a party hosted by Misato... again. The grown-ups found themselves at the dinner table, playing a game of cards. There were a few yellow lights in the area, the scene was quiet, and one person spoke at a time, every few moments. There were drinks to everyone's lefts, and chips to everyone's right. The Children found themselves in the living room, enjoying video games. To be more specific, Touji and Asuka were duking it out, and they were showing it. Their eyes were but slits, focusing on the screen, and they sat so upright that Kensuke swore that they both instantly grew by several inches. Hikari sat beside Asuka, but a little further (Asuka was mumbling a string of German curses, and Hikari was beginning to be a little scared), hold a nervous PenPen in her arms. Kensuke sat beside Touji, and he was as immersed in the television set's glow as Touji and Asuka were. The images on the screen were reflected of Kensuke's glasses with perfect precision and accuracy. The children, with the exception of Asuka, seemed decidedly mute. Shinji sat on his bean bag, slouched as he watched the game unfold. Actually, he was much more interested in Asuka and Touji's expressions, and smirked a bit as he watched their lack of movements and their constant emissions of uninterpretable sounds, until- *clunk* The sudden, although soft, noise snapped the children out of their respective dazes and they turned to see what had happened. They turned to see that Rei had fallen over with sleep... right onto the left shoulder of Shinji, who had turned a rather deep hue of red. Five smiles slowly emerged (yes, PenPen was smiling, or at least what could count as a smile). There was a stifled chuckle from the left, followed by one quickly to his right. Finally, Hikari, stood up and struggled to find her way into Asuka's room without bumping into various objects along the way, quickly followed by the other four (PenPen had the sense to follow). No more than a second later, Shinji could hear explosions of laughter and squawking. Shinji grimaced a bit and promptly blushed in embarrassment. The grown-ups looked up towards Asuka's room, then looked back to their game, seeming very uninterested of anything outside of the hand that was dealt. Misato, however, turning her head back, saw Shinji and Rei. Depicting that Shinji was already in a very troubled state, she decided that it couldn't hurt to do any more damage. Shinji sweat a second before Misato, anticipating the worst from her, who promptly held a thumbs up to him, and winked. Shinji thought he made a sound, but he couldn't be sure, as his entire body twitched in frustration. After a few seconds, the children came back out, sat down, and tried their hardest to concentrate back to their previous form of entertainment. They tried, really they did, but one or two couldn't help turning back at a time. Every time, Shinji would give a pleading look to them, and they would turn their heads back, smiling just a bit more each time. Finally, after Shinji had regained some of his composure, he asked, "Um... hello? Um... could someone help me please? ... Please?" No one answered with anything more than a grin. "...please?" Seeing that pleading was futile, Shinji tried something new after a minute. "Okay, fine. I'll try to get her to your room, Asuka, okay?" Everyone was staying overnight anyway, with the children in either Shinji or Asuka's room, depending on their gender, the grown-up females in Misato's room, and the men were left with the living room. Asuka, surprisingly (or not) smiled, "Why sure, Shinji." Asuka had paused the game, and all eyes were on him and the unconscious being to his left. What's to look at? Shinji wondered, and then he stood up a bit, trying to support Rei beneath his arms. Then it hit him - he didn't really have a dignified method of getting Rei to her room. He supposed he could get either Aoba or Hyuuga to help, but he really didn't want another outburst, especially not from a fresh audience. Shinji said vaguely as things became clear, "Oh." Shinji thought to himself for a moment, then asked, "Any ideas?" There was no answer for a few moments. Kensuke spoke up. "I'm sure that there are plenty of ideas, boss, but we'd rather see what you come up with." Shinji swore Kensuke's glasses gleamed for a second as he finished his sentence. "...oh." Great. Shinji thought about the situation carefully, thinking that perhaps dragging her their would not be effective nor would it save him face. The latter went also for carrying her over his shoulder. Then another revelation hit him - he could just wake her up. He smiled to the audience, took a hand, put it on Rei's shoulder, and began to shake, much to the disappointment of the crowd. Too bad Touji was there. "Now boss, it's rude to waking up a sleeping beauty like that. Either you kiss her or you leave her sleeping." There were soft cheers from everyone, and Shinji noticed Misato turn her head. There was sweat again. Damn your darned chivalry, Touji... "But-" "Damn it, baka Shinji, haven't you ever heard of chivalry?" Asuka put in. "But-" "She'll be upset if you do wake her..." Hikari suggested. "But-" "My bet is that he kisses her," Touji said. He was, as everyone knew, and always had been, bent on having Shinji and Rei become an item. Asuka joined the pool almost immediately. She always did like to compete with Touji. "Yeah? Well mine is that he's too much of a wuss and he'll carry her off." Huh boy, thought Shinji. He looked down at Rei. She seemed to be in such a happy dream, that he decided that he couldn't wake her. She was just too serene. Besides, Rei deserved the rest she was finally getting. Finally, he looked back at the crowd. They seemed very busy with themselves and their pool. Misato was intent on her game. If he did it now, then no one would notice, or at least he'd be halfway out by the time they noticed, and therefore he'd be only half as embarrassed. He took a deep breath, and- music: Neon Genesis Evangelion Original Soundtrack I: Misato He was wrong. It was true that he made it halfway, but there were whoops of joy and cheers from the children, and even more embarrassing was the applause coming from the group at the table. Apparently, Misato just couldn't pass this up. So yes, Shinji made it halfway out of the room. In fact, he made it past that mark. Too bad the humiliation that came didn't feel like it had been reduced an iota. It was going to be a long night. -sigh- ... The next morning Rei was informed what had exactly happened. Actually, Rei had asked, since she didn't remember dozing off in the first place. When Rei had the answer, she was blushing very deeply in Asuka's room, and she pulled her covers over her mouth and nose, so that only her eyes showed. There was genuine embarrassment showing though her cheeks "Yep, pretty convenient that she fell to her right... into Shinji's arms, eh, Hikari?" Asuka was having a great deal of fun this morning. "Well, I do have to admit, Rei..." Hikari was giggling just a bit, reminiscing what exactly had happened. Rei, on the receiving end, couldn't stand it. "I've been very very tired! I've been working very hard on my um, journal, so that I could free up my Christmas!" Rei was fuming a bit, standing up in the room, trying her best to stop the laughing and rolling around the other two were currently immersed in. Some distance away, the outrage going on in the girls' room could be heard almost audibly by the boys. ... Too bad that in the boys' room, things weren't any better. "Yep, pretty convenient that she fell to her right... into Shinji's arms, eh, Touji?" Kensuke's glasses were definitely gleaming, even though the blinds were shut and there was no light in the room. -Sweat- "Very," Touji agreed. -Sweat sweat- ... Keeping with the tradition of Christmas, everyone owed everyone else presents. Misato had informed everyone of who would be at the party, so that everyone would receive a present of some sort from everyone else. Asuka received some books from Shinji, and to everyone but Shinji's surprise, Asuka didn't complain. Between them, it was their way of acknowledging that Asuka was fluent in Japanese. Asuka smiled and said thanks smoothly. More surprise. Misato received a psychological book on quitting bad habits (namely one of them, drinking) from an anonymous giver. There were laughs then. Hikari received a stuffed teddy from... Touji? There were mixed reactions here, but for Shinji, he just couldn't miss the chance to give Touji back some for last night. It turned out that Hikari had to return PenPen to Misato, and was saddened. Touji received a peck on the cheek from Hikari while only Asuka was watching. Kensuke received a new camera, the result of a pool of money from all the males in the room. Asuka began chewing them out almost immediately. It was easily understood that Rei didn't have much enough spending money for presents to give to everyone. In fact, the only present that was wrapped she gave to Misato, as a thanks for getting Rei her independence. To everyone else, she submitted a poem. Shinji read his with a hint of joy. He wouldn't share it with anyone else, however. "Not yet, anyway," he said. Rei received, happily enough, a poem from Shinji as well, and like Shinji, she was very mousy about showing anyone even a glimpse of it, not even the title. After some sighs of disappointment, everyone gave up, and decided to wait to see what the letters held. Meanwhile, Rei had found something that truly impressed her outside. It was snow. There were gasps of excitement as the snowflakes shakily made their descent, encouraging more to fall. At its highest peak, however, there wasn't that much snow. Still, it was very pretty to look at. Rei thought to herself, The stars are coming down to earth. She sighed happily to herself. ... Evidently, Touji, Kensuke, and Asuka had a plan that afternoon. When Rei left, so did Hikari, and so did Touji and Kensuke. The last two shuffled out front, saying their good-bye's and thanks to Shinji. Then Rei found herself right behind Kensuke, and when she turned her head back for good-byes, she found Shinji in front of her. Suddenly, each found that some things were instantly forgotten, but Rei regained her composure quickly. "It was nice... being here. Thanks, Shinji-kun." "... ...y... yeah..." "I'll see you in a week." "... ...y... yeah..." Shinji was shuffling to himself by the end of his "sentence." Rei turned slowly, her eyes still focused at Shinji's squirming for some time, and then, smiling a bit to herself, he walked off slowly. Hikari followed, giggling with Asuka. Actually, they were plain out laughing. That certainly snapped Shinji out of his previous thoughts. What a Christmas it's been, thought Shinji. -sigh- ... For understanding For being there I'm glad to know There's a person here whose truth I share. ~Shinji ... Finale New Years was coming, and this was a holiday that all citizens in Tokyo-3 (and the world) celebrated. And to make it better were the events of a day before: ... "I repeat, due to the snow coming in and New Years ahead, school will be canceled for a whole week. However, it is reported that the snow will only come and go this year, so class will resume session in one week." There were strings of "Sigoi!" and "Subarashii!" and as the bells rang for school to end, everyone charged out like to meet the fallen snow. The students poured out of the front door and met the falling frozen mists. Misato drove even more wildly than before, perhaps due to glee, or due to the fact that she couldn't see out the window. No one could tell the difference, and all screamed in horror. ... And so now here it was, the next morning, and Shinji and Asuka had actually waken early on a day without responsibilities to meet the fallen snow. Asuka was ecstatic and charged out of the elevator onto the roof to lie in the thin bed of snow that had amassed over the evening. Shinji looked up at the falling snowflakes and barely got out in time for the elevator to send him down to the first floor. "Shiiiiinjiiii..." Asuka wailed over the light wind. Shinji walked over, seeing her in the white bed of frost. He stood in front of her, hands in his pockets, looking up at the sky again. He like the feeling of the coolness floating around him; it was like being held by someone. And as the wind whistled quietly through his ears- "Shinji!" "Hm? What?" Shinji opened his eyes. He looked around. "Lie down on the snow, it's fun," Asuka said, closing her eyes a bit to enjoy the softness of it all. "Why?" Shinji simply stated. "Darn it, Shinji, why do you need a reason? It's fun! Sometimes you just have to shut up and do something, so-" Asuka was going off on her lectures about trying new things and being more open again, so Shinji decided to comply before the lecture got too long. "Alright, hai, hai," Shinji said, bending down on one knee slowly, before Asuka took hold of his ankle and tossed him down. There was a muffled sound as Shinji's face hit the snow. For a minute, there was not other reaction, worrying Asuka a bit, and she turned her head to the right, to see Shinji, slowly turn on his back, his face covered with ice, and his cheeks red as a rose. He gasped for air suddenly, and was "back to normal." And so there they lay, sprawled out in the snow, staring into oblivion. I wonder if this is what heaven is like, thought Asuka. Some time later, they themselves were half buried in the thick of it. Then Asuka finally got up, and Shinji followed suit. Shaking a bit, Asuka trudged over to the railing, wondering if anyone was awake now. Shinji brushed himself off with less urgency. Then, a certain blue haired girl caught Asuka's attention. "Rei!" Asuka shouted loud enough that the other four people down there looked up. Asuka waved. "Rei!" By the time Shinji made it to the railing, Rei had spotted the two, and looked up. She was actually dressed still in her house clothes, added with it a scarf or two. Asuka called out again. "Where are you going?" "Hai, I'm looking for you two!" Rei waved. ... "You were looking for us?" Asuka said following a rather pretentious brrrrrrrrrrrrr... "Hai, Misato-san said that you two must've already gone out." Rei was setting the heater a bit as she was preparing tea. Somehow, none of the three felt like eating anything and yet had so much energy to burn. "So what did you need?" Asuka asked when she settled down at the table. "Um, I felt like... I don't know... doing something," Rei stuttered. She had sat down herself now. For some time, everyone seemed to brainstorm a bit. Actually, Shinji was lying back, and staring into the light, wondering, Why didn't enjoy these moments when I was younger? Asuka, always the fast thinker, came up with an idea. "How's Tokyo-2 sound?" Rei looked at her a bit quizzically. Tokyo-2 would take a while to get to, and in snow, well... "Well, sure, why not? We could go and see if they've got any activities set up, and if not, then we'll just shop around!" After a few seconds, Rei decided that she hadn't a better idea, and agreed. "How about it, Shinji?" He snapped out of his day dream quickly, and sputtered out his words. "Um... well, you see... I..." "What's the matter? Not studly enough to handle two girls?" Asuka leaned forward. She's becoming just like Misato, it's really quite scary, Shinji mused. His speech, however, was not as articulate as his thoughts. "S-studly!? I... well... eh... I gotta..." Somewhere in the background Rei was giggling just a bit to herself, and she marveled how even the smallest things could set her off. Why didn't enjoy these moments when I was younger? The conversation ended soon. ... "Humph! Well, you don't deserve out presence anyway. C'mon Rei!" Asuka commanded, grabbing Rei's wrist and leading her out. Rei was quite surprised by the suddenness of everything. "B-but, I have to get dressed first!" At this, Asuka stopped mid stride and glanced at Rei. She rolled her eyes. "Oh, very well..." ... Asuka marched out of the front door of Rei's apartment, literally dragging Rei along behind her. "And don't forget to turn off the lights when-" Rei kept calling. Shinji kept nodding, smiling, and "hai"-ing to everything that was asked of him. And then, the door closed, and Shinji relaxed a bit to himself. Looking out the window, he saw that the sky was gray, and the land was white. While for some it would have been a rather depressing sight, Shinji found himself relaxing. Then, suddenly, he remembered something. ... music: Neon Genesis Original Soundtrack III: The Heady Feeling of Freedom ...It is only the mind that separates reality from truth... ...There are as many truths as there are people... ...But there is only one truth that is your truth... ...and one can have a perspective that is far too small... ...For example, sunny days make you feel good... ...Rainy days make you feel gloomy... ...But you can have fun on a rainy day as well... ...A person's truth is so simple that most ignore it to concentrate on what they think are deeper truths... ...You, for example, are simply unused to what it is to be liked by others... ...You've never learned how to deal with the fear of how others feel about you, so you avoid it... ...Now that you know yourself, you can take care of yourself... ... Shinji lied back in his chair, rested the back of his head on the palms of his hand, sighed a bit to himself, and fell asleep, or rather, began to dream. There was but peace in this lit room with warm air flowing through it. ... Strolling through the streets of Tokyo-3, Shinji looked at the small children play amongst themselves, throwing up snow, celebrating its existence, while grown-ups did the same, for to them it had been over 15 years since they last saw the blessing called "snow." Shinji stepped into a large department store and head up the escalators, glancing at everyone present. People seemed happier nowadays. The feeling was nice also in this place. The heater was on, but yet it seemed that cool air was rushing through the floors, refreshing everyone. Shinji reached the bottom floor, the dining area, and got himself (as all should be able to guess) a cup of tea, and sat alone at a table, glancing around at all the happy people, couples, and families. For the first time in his life, Shinji could say fully and honestly to himself, I have a family too. Maybe it was relief from all the troubles in this world, or maybe he just hadn't had enough sleep last night. Whatever the reason, Shinji Ikari's head dropped to the table, and he dreamed once more. ... Some time later, someone poked at Shinji's shoulder, prompting him to look up sideways, to find that Touji was grinning at him, with Kensuke at his side, his new camera pointing at the scene. "What's the matter," Touji asked, "Asuka keep you up again?" And to complete the moment, Shinji's head fell to the table again. -clunk- ... They were on a shuttle to Tokyo-2, where Touji and Kensuke argued whose fault it was they were heading there. "Nani? You're the one who wanted to buy a bunch of parts for the camera! Not to mention the fact that you like looking at all the local girls around there, too!" Touji was whispering loudly as he bore down on Kensuke's case. "Eh hehe, yeah, but you like looking, too! Oh, oh, wait... didn't I hear from Mari before we left that, oh, oh, what was it... Hikari's in Tokyo-2? Hmmmmmm....?" Kensuke's eyes thinned out and a smirk was worn on his smug face. "Eh... Darned sister..." Shinji, meanwhile, pointed out that Asuka and Rei had gone to Tokyo-2 that morning as well. He found later, though, as he turned from the window, that his statement was a mistake. There were two pairs of eyes and a camera pointed at him. "Soooooooooo... They're there, are they... hmmmmmm..." Kensuke rubbed it in with no mercy, while Touji snickered quietly in the background. This is going to be a long day, Shinji thought to himself. ... As it turned out, Kensuke was dead on with his theory about Touji's aims in Tokyo-2 and Hikari. Within 15 minutes of leaving the shuttle station, they "happened" to find Hikari at a cafe, eating lunch with Asuka and Rei, whom had met up with Hikari in one of Tokyo-2's more popular department stores. They were located outside, where the snow had stopped falling so heavily, and the large umbrella over the white table was covered with a rich new white blanket. Kensuke gave Touji a shove, and they were on their way. The boys sat down and ate, and while engaged in conversation, Touji leaned over and whispered into Shinji's right ear, "On the roof, were you, this morning?" Shinji tensed up a bit, but assumed the best, and calmed down a bit immediately. He turned to Touji, backing up a bit, "H...Hai..." Touji turned back toward the girls, and wore a faceless expression. "Oh, okay." Shinji calmed down considerably, when Kensuke came from the left. "What were you thinking about while you were up there, hm?" Again, Shinji was shocked by these supposedly strange questions. "Ano... how nice... the snow was...?" Shinji was squeaking a bit as he spoke. But then, Kensuke did as Touji and turned back to the conversation at hand. Shinji slouched a bit in his seat, hoping no one would notice his strange behavior. One person did, however, and from across the round table, her ruby eyes glimmered with... hope? ... music: Faye Wong: ("You Shi Hou" was the wrong name) Red Bean (pianissimo) The Katsuragi household was up in excitement again as the people who had gathered for Misato's Christmas party (please excuse me for using that term, Steve Pardue) once again gathered for the New Year. This time, the children and grownups all gathered in the living room, eating a dinner, that, to Misato and the rest of the grown-ups' embarrassment, was composed from the joint effort of Hikari, Shinji, and Rei the day before. Hikari could have sworn that, while they were all busying themselves in the kitchen, that Rei and Shinji were exchanging strange and different glances. Rei's position seemed a bit more firm than Shinji's, who kept looking and then looking away, but both seemed to have some sort of aura of hope about themselves. Hikari gave up guessing after a few tries and sighed to herself. And so now everyone watched as Tokyo-3, with its honor as the new capital, held a celebration, and the lavishly decorated apple fell closer and closer to its target. Aoba and Makoto were both excited with anticipation, while Maya and Ritsuko sat back and smiled softly. Misato's mood was not unlike the ones the two male technicians wore. Asuka, Rei, and Hikari sat directly in front of the monitor, Hikari holding PenPen in her arms and on her lap, all four frozen in place with glee. Touji and Kensuke seemed less interested at the event however, and constantly whispered amongst themselves. They seemed to wear some sort of maniacal mask every so often. Shinji sat to Touji's right, next to no one else, calmly watching. ... ...4... ...3... ...2... ...1... ... Aoba, Makoto, and Misato cheered loudly "Ya-ta!!!". Maya and Ritsuko's expressions didn't change. The girls all sighed sighs of relief. Touji and Kensuke clapped, and PenPen squawked. Touji and Kensuke finished their clapping, and the grown-ups went to the table to play cards and drink themselves into oblivion. No one seemed to notice as Rei had backed out quietly of the room no less than two seconds after the apple fell. Shinji looked around, and soon he disappeared as well. Asuka closed her eyes, and whispered to herself as the grown-ups all ran and passed by. "Dear God, Dear God, I'm praying that this year will be better. No, it will be better, but I'm not going to forget this year ever. Too much has happened for me to ever forget. Thank you, thank you, thank-" She was interrupted, when Hikari had jumped over and hugged Asuka, laughing with joy. A second later, Asuka's eyes were brightened, and soon she was laughing too. ... music: Faye Wong: Red Bean (mezzo piano) Rei stood against the railing on the roof, looking up at the stars. The snow had nearly stopped, and the snow fell in very tiny flakes now. The moonlight glow gave the floor's snow a bright look, and reflected off of Rei's clothes. It was a contrast of black and white in the scene. The sky and was black, but the city and stars were alive with color. In the distance, so balloons could still be seen in the air. A great amount of the lights far away were moving wildly. The city was set afire with life tonight, but here, on the roof of a single apartment building, there was perfect serenity. A sound came from behind, prompting Rei to turn, but she did not fully, only a bit to her right. Her eye ever so slowly rotated towards her back. There were almost tearing, glittering with hope, and when they had reached their target, they blinked twice in rapid succession. Shinji had made his way behind her, and he stood, his hands in his pockets. He wasn't embarrassed or confused, but he stood there, not moving, looking just a little downward at blue haired girl he knew very little about, but more than anyone else knew, and it was someone he wished to know more about. He smiled very slightly; nothing more than a slight tugging at the corners of his lips. Perhaps he was relieved or nervous from having made it up here. More likely he was glad he made the choice to come up in the first place. Rei turned completely. In front of her stood someone she felt she owed too much. She looked up ever so slightly to meet his eyes, which were mere inches away from hers. Rei too smiled. Perhaps it was because the new year marked a new life for her. More likely she was glad he made the choice to come up here in the first place. Within seconds of letting her eyes dip into his, hers suddenly watered, but she didn't do anything. Ikari, in turn opened his mouth slightly, and smiled just a bit more, before speaking. The wind whistled by, and the snow was still present. Two figures, neither very well dressed to accommodate the weather, stood closely to one another. The lighting was a jet blue, and streaks of purple could be seen in the sky. The area was very silent (everyone from this area had gone to see the apple fall), and Shinji started a bit lightly, his mouth opening up before he knew what he was going to say. After one deep breath, he let it out. "I'm here." At that, Rei's eyes closed halfway, before she embraced Shinji, her head on his shoulder. Suddenly, almost on cue, lights were switched on around the two, and both were taken by surprise. It may have been just the automatic, but Rei could have sworn that the lights looked... cheerier this evening. Shinji, taken by surprise for less than a second, both by the lights and Rei, responded with the same passion. Rei's smell flowed through his system, and he felt at peace. For this moment in time, he was totally free from the burdens of the world. Perhaps Shinji knew, but Rei's eyes were, for the first time, crying with joy. She slowly brought her head up, as if she didn't want this moment to ever change or end, but words had to be said. "Thank you... thank you..." ... music: Megumi Hayashibara: Fly Me to the Moon The morning sun greets my rise It brings life to my eyes. The evening moon takes its ascent trying to meet the sun's descent. It never rises to see it's partner leave And has the entire night to grieve. But perhaps one evening on a rooftop so high The sun and moon shall stand side by side. And it is there the sun shall rise above With the moon to share their love. For when two lost souls find one another They are lost no more. ~Rei ...FIN Author's note: For those who have read these fics, this Episode is reminiscent of "Misato's Christmas Party" and "Resolutions," but I try not to be quite as WAFFy. Still, one can't help it when they're inexperienced themselves in these matters and must write dealing with children. I hope you liked this fic, and there will be and epilogue! When I finish that, I'll wait until things settle down for me before writing my original fic. To Asuka fans: I'm sorry, but it's just that with almost every other romance/WAFF fic out there, Rei gets the short end of the stick which she does not deserve. Besides, the Asuka/Shinji story has been done to death. But don't worry, you might like my original fic more... To Rei fans: I hoped you liked this fic, but don't expect such a happy turnout with my original. Sorry... -runs away before retaliation could be mustered- E-mail me with your comments.