sleet01@balista.com (Martin L. Metke) Ah, yes, can I just say that this is only the second time I've posted to RAAC? :) Seriously, a word of explanation: this 'fic is actually a sidestory/ alternate ending to a much longer and more involved fic which, sadly, I have yet to write. It (the main story) takes up after episode 26, and the main characters are Aida Kensuke and Sohryu Asuka, and constitutes an alternate ending to the actual series. This story formed from a series of 'what if's that I'm not sure I could actually trace any more, but goes something like this: What if two pilots were required for the new EVA's? What are the results of strong emotional discharge/close personal contact within LCL? What if two of the characters were in love with two of the other characters, and found out in such a state? Anyhow, please read and C&C, if you can. Unfortunately I'll be in the field for 2 weeks starting tomorrow, but I'll get to your replies (if any) as soon as I return. Thank you, and enjoy. ---,-@ *thu-WOOOM* Shockwaves rattled the EVA, although the force was dampened by the LCL which filled the cockpit. Unconsciously mirroring each other, Asuka and Kensuke each shielded their eyes with one hand, dazzled by the star-white blaze that marked the death of the final Angel. Kensuke was the first to break the silence. "We...we beat it?!" he gasped. "We won..." Asuka breathed. She whirled about in her seat, eyes gleaming. "We WON!" With a graceful kick, she propelled herself back towards Kensuke's co-pilot station. His attempt to catch her hand missed, turning into an impromptu hug, which then became a victory kiss... which turned into transcendence. Kensuke felt as though he was touching a live wire with his lips, but that faded as something *other* entered his mind. From the way Asuka had stiffened at the same time, he thought she must be experiencing something similar. Asuka's head buzzed, curiously filled yet yawning cavernous and hollow, as though it had expanded. A clear line/tone/wire/heat crossed her consciousness. It hummed, awaiting a signal to carry, then pulsed as two voices spoke out in within her mind. *< MisatoKaji >* they proclaimed as one, mixing together, yearning and love in their every tone. Asuka knew these voices... one was her own. The other was Kensuke's. Kensuke slowly drew back from Asuka, his lips still atingle. He was sure his face mirrored her own, both exultant and sad. As he looked into her knowing eyes he had to smile a little. "You too, huh?" he sighed. Asuka only nodded. The two pilots drifted for a moment, connected by their entwined fingers. "We, uh... " Kensuke ventured, then subsided. Asuka nodded again. "Yeah, we should tell them," she agreed. "I... I think Kaji's dead," Kensuke mumbled, unable to look her in the eyes. "Nobody's seen him in weeks, and," he paused, then finished in a rush, "Shinji's made a little shrine in that garden he kept." He swallowed, finally having let it out, dreading Asuka's reaction. "I...knew," she replied. Kensuke glanced at her, surprised. "But I think... he will still know, where ever he is." Her eyes shone brighter still, shimmering, as she went on. "At least Misato has made her peace with him. Maybe that will make it easier." Kensuke had to sigh at that. "Do you really think so?" he asked, not believing it himself. "It doesn't matter. We have to do this." She shook her head quickly. "That's the only way to close this chapter in our lives and move on." Eyes flashing, she gave his hands a gentle squeeze. "You know it's true." Kensuke nodded slowly, captivated. Once again, he wondered at Asuka's indomitable spirit and fire. Maybe, he thought, if only I ... no, much too late to change some things. He decided not to dwell on it. Instead he grinned at her. "Come on, partner, it's time to take this baby home, " he said softly. Asuka's return smile warmed him, helped him regain the feeling of victory he'd forgotten in the moment. "Now you're talking," she agreed, settling into her seat. They occupied themselves for a few moments powering up the EVA's dormant systems, then, with a mutual nod, they were ready. Asuka cracked her knuckles, then ordered, "Special EVA Technical Officer Aida, take us home!" "Roger! Deploying E-M wings...Now!" Kensuke revelled in the power which Unit 05 shared with him. Maybe he couldn't pilot worth a damn, he thought with a feral grin, but could any of the other Third Children do _this_?! Dissolving, melding with the living machine, he stretched out his consciousness. The wonderful thrill of synchronization swelled as he felt four massive wings crackle into being behind him. Pouring his essence into the link, willing the EVA's power to shape his thoughts, Kensuke Aida flowed into the web which bound it all together. _This_ was his calling, he knew: to unleash the full potential of the Evangelion. He could trust Asuka to wield that power. "Go," he whispered, not sure if she heard but certain that she understood. Together, joined within an angel of light, they sped towards the Earth. ---,-@ Kensuke found it simplicity itself to spoof Nerv's early- warning and radar systems. His growing understanding of the A.T. Field's intricacies ensured them an undetected landing. He and Asuka had both decided that their personal business needed attending to before they returned to face their homecoming at Nerv., so they prepared to part in the deserted school yard, drawing a last little comfort from the kneeling Unit 05 which towered over them, waiting. "You gonna be okay on your own?" Kensuke asked gently. He placed a hand on Asuka's shoulder, hoping their new-found link would carry his thoughts of well-being to her. She nodded, covering his hand with hers. Gazing back at the EVA, Asuka seemed to draw determination like air into herself. She blew out a heavy breath, turned back to Kensuke, and nodded again, this time more forcefully. "I've got to do this one alone, partner," she stated. "How about you?" His own nervousness was apparent too. "I don't really know," he half-laughed, "I'll tell you when it's over." Asuka's lips curled in a small smile. "I'll see you back here, then." They parted, each seeking a different path. ---,-@ Asuka gazed down the slope towards the small patch which Kaji Ryoji had appropriated in the short time he'd been with them. Although it was near her apartment block, she knew that no-one would notice or investigate a child wandering down to the road, and once across it one was hidden by the tall grass which surrounded the garden plot, privacy assured. Steeling herself, Asuka wished her partner luck and continued on her way. ---,-@ Kensuke was glad that the Angel alert still held; he wasn't sure he could face anyone else until his task was done. Though he wasn't sure what it would accomplish, he hoped that getting his feelings off his chest, as it were, would inally let him continue with his life. Asuka had been right that this melancholy had led to his rash actions, the whole craziness leading up to the theft of EVA Unit 05 right in the middle of an Angel attack; he just hoped that she was right about this cathartic measure as well. Breaking into a jog, he rounded the corner of the apartment block where Misato and the other pilots lived, sparing a moment to wish Asuka some happiness of her own. ---,-@ Misato jerked awake, her heart pounding in time to the thumping at the door. Pushing away from the table where she'd fallen asleep for the third night in a row, she dashed down the hallway and skidded to a halt in front of the door. One hand snagged the chain free while the other slapped the lock release, then she nearly tore the knob off wrenching the door open. "I lost my card," Asuka explained sheepishly. Further explanations where halted, however, when Misato grabbed the girl in a fierce embrace. "Misato, I... I have something I need to... talk to you about," Asuka forced herself to say, though it came out sounding very quiet. Misato pulled back, wiped her eyes quickly with her hand, and nodded. She led Asuka back inside, calling out, "Pen-pen, look who's home!" ---,-@ Kensuke picked his way through the tall grass, grateful that twilight hid him from prying eyes but still wishing for enough light to get him to the garden without breaking his fool neck. With that thought, of course, his toe caught on some infernal low-lying vine, pitching him face-first into the dirt. Chuckling quietly, he dusted his palms off and hunted around for his glasses. Satisfied they were undamaged, he sat Indian-style on a flat stone next to the carrots. For a few moments he just composed himself, emptying his head and enjoying the feel of the warm rock beneath him. Kensuke clasped his hands together on his crossed ankles and began to speak in a low, calm voice. "I... don't know if you remember me, Kaji. My name's Kensuke Aida; I'm one of Shinji's classmates. I don't know if you can even hear me, if you're 'out there' and somehow aware of me, but if you are, I've got something to tell you and I figure this is a good place to do it. "It's like this..." As cozy glowing windows began to light the night, the chirping of crickets echoed through the fragrant air, not at all disturbed by one young man talking quietly to the stars. ---,-@ "How is he? Asuka whispered, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the darkened room. A small rectangle of warm yellow light fell across Shinji's chest, highlighting the even rise and fall of his breath. "He's fine, just exhausted from that last battle. He regained a lot of his old strength while in the coma, but still..." Misato sighed, then led the way out to the living room. After one last glance inside, Asuka shut Shinji's door and followed. Misato, unable to keep her questions in check, faced the young woman as they stepped to the sliding glass door leading onto the balcony. "What happened?! We thought Unit 05 was destroyed by the Angel!" she whispered fiercely. Asuka shrugged as they settled cross-legged on the floor, not bothering to turn on the lights. She contemplated the sleepy, dusky city as she spoke. "Kensuke... found out how to become the, the soul of the EVA, I guess you'd say. Without him, we would've been annihilated. He protected us, came up with the power to beat it. I don't know _how_ he does it, though." At Misato's look, she relented a little. "Well, all I do know is he got absorbed by the EVA, just like Shinji did, but figured out how to come back again." She gazed at the rising moon, nearly full and dazzling. "When you took off, those four wings..." Misato followed the girl's gaze, remembering the awesome sight of Unit 05 blasting out of Nerv-2 and streaking into the sky, propelled by glowing, insectoid wings. "Did he do that too?" "He gives me the power, and I use it," Asuka nodded. "He's the soul, and I'm the mind, I guess. We couldn't have beaten even a weak Angel separately, but we beat the strongest one together." Misato looked at the girl she'd barely come to know in the time they'd lived together. Although the moonlight softened her face, Asuka looked tired. Both physical fatigue and a weariness of the soul left her face aged beyond her scant 14 years. What we do to them, Misato thought, even in for the sake of humanity, it can't be worth this. Not wanting to press any further at the moment, she finally asked, "Asuka, how are _you_ doing?" Asuka smiled wanly. "I've been better," she admitted. Misato subsided into silence again, relief at Asuka and Kensuke's safe return competing with concern for the young woman she'd made a part of her strange adopted family, lost and returned looking so worn. Finally, not knowing what to say, she scooched over beside Asuka and hugged her shoulders with one arm. Squeezing Asuka tight, looking up at the moon, she said softly, "I'm glad you're back." "Misato," Asuka whispered, determined again, "I need to tell you something." ---,-@ Kensuke was drowsing on the warm rock when the muffled, "tump, tump," of sneakers on the road woke him. Just as he began to rise, stiff from his prolonged position, Kensuke saw a grey blur enter the clearing from the same trail he'd used and, similarly, trip on that cursed root. "Hey," he called out softly, grinning. Recognizing the source of the swearing hew heard, Kensuke added, "Shinji? What're you doing here?" The grey lump stuck out an appendage, which Kensuke used to pull his friend up. "I could," Shinji Ikari, said, now dusting off his hands, "ask you the same question, you know." Kensuke could see little of the other boy but his eyes and general outline. Not sure if Shinji was joking with him, he gestured that they should sit, settling back on the rock he'd occupied before. "I guess you're wondering why we're not dead," Kensuke started, but stilled again when he Shinji shake his head. "I heard a little of it from Asuka, when she was telling Misato. When they went out on the balcony for privacy, I snuck down here." Shinji pulled a blade of grass out of the ground, cleared his throat, made as if to say something, then stopped. Kensuke glanced sidelong at his friend, waiting. "I miss Kaji," Shinji whispered. "...me too," Kensuke replied, looking up at the stars. "Me too." ---,-@ "Misato, I , well, first off I want to apologize," Asuka began. When Misato turned away from her stargazing to look at her, she continued. "you know how, when you like someone and you find out they like someone else, it can change you?" Misato nodded at this. "How it can make you all jealous and angry and want to hurt people?" Another nod from Misato, with a little knowing glimmer in her eyes. Asuka sighed, then continued. "Ever wanted someone to love you, so much you went out of your way to make them jealous, or treated them especially bad just so you could see if they cared?" Misato, hearing Asuka struggle with the last, gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. She knew she was no hot stuff in the comforting department, but she certainly empathized with Asuka. "Yeah, kiddo, I do know," she murmured. Remembering how much she could have used one in her time, Misato pulled Asuka into a hug. She could feel some of the tension seep out of the girl's body; it felt good to hold her and ease her hurt. "I'm s, sorry Misato," she could hear Asuka breathe into her shoulder. "I was in love, I didn't mean it. It's just, when I found out you and Kaji had, had already... had a relationship, I..." "Shh, it's all right, I forgive you." Misato looked out at the city, wondering whether she'd ever have a chance to apologize to Kaji in person. She'd made a mess of everything with him, up to the very end. No forgiveness for her, she suspected, only loneliness... a humming against her shoulder told her Asuka had said something she hadn't caught. "Hmm?" she inquired, absently stroking Asuka's thick auburn hair. "I said, I wish I could tell that person... how much I love them," Asuka murmured, Misato's warm embrace relaxing her to drowsiness. Asuka felt Misato sigh; looking up, she saw Misato's gaze rest on the iridescent moon. As slow tears spilled from her eyes, Misato softly whispered, "He knows, Asuka. Even if you can't... tell him." When Asuka felt soft sobs hitching Misato's frame, she reached up and gently cupped the taller woman's face in her hands. Standing on her toes, she looked into Misato's confused, tired, sorrowful eyes. Closing her own, she kissed her lips, so softly as to seem the touch of a moonbeam. "I love you, Misato," she whispered. Asuka held Misato until the moon hid away. ---,-@ "I never had any brothers or friends, close friends, when I was growing up," Shinji admitted after awhile. "It was nice to have someone like that. I guess I felt comfortable with him. Like family." Kensuke nodded absently, knowing Shinji couldn't see the gesture. He was feeling a little out of sorts. In a way, he welcomed the company, but at the same time didn't feel like talking much. Watching the moon sink, its nacreous light dwindling, he wondered how Asuka had done with Misato. Without any kind of response, he didn't feel like he'd accomplished anything, he felt merely tired. He sighed. No catharsis tonight it seemed. Kensuke began brushing off his hands on his knees when he froze. Shinji had silently moved beside him, scarcely seeming to pass through the intervening space. Eyes closed, he placed his right hand on Kensuke's left. "After I killed Kaoru, the angel who loved me and whom I loved," came an ethereal voice, "I saw many things - about myself, my friends, the people I know. As long as we live, a part of everyone we know, lives." Although the moon had set completely, to Kensuke's eyes Shinji glowed with moonlight. Scarcely believing that the voice he heard had come from the shape beside him, Kensuke looked down at his hand, covered by Shinji's. Swallowing hard, he whispered, "I loved him, Shinji. I just wish I could have known him like you did." Shinji, no longer glowing, gave his friend's hand a comforting pat. "I know. I...think he would have liked to know you better too." Placing his hand on Kensuke's chest, Shinji gazed serenely into his eyes. "He's here. I've seen it. If you love him, keep that part of him. It's as real as he himself was." Rising, he tugged Kensuke up. "Now come on, it's late," whispered Shinji with a small grin. "We want to be fresh for your first-ever debrief tomorrow!" From the edge of the grass, Kensuke turned back to sweep the dim vegetable patch, the last memento of Kaji Ryoji, with his eyes. "Goodbye, Kaji," he whispered, then followed Shinji up the hill. --,-@ Originally, this was going to be about Asuka and Shinji, when I had the first inspirations, but it quickly melded with my as-yet unwritten series, so Aida became the main male lead. For background, in the main series, Shinji's in a coma following his encounter with Kaoru. Rei moves into the apartment at Misato's request and tends to Shinji. Fatalistic and depressed, Kensuke attempts to steal the newly-arrived Unit-05, commissioned with an experimental dual-pilot insertion plug, and ends up abetted by a perversely helpful Asuka. Mayhem ensues, Shinji wakes up, things are realized by all. Should be interesting, provided I ever get around to writing it. Hope you were at least mildly entertained. Soredewa, Matta ne! Martin L. Metke sleet01@balista.com