From: "Kozo Fuyutsuki" <fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com>
Subject: [Eva][FanFic] Asuka's Project

These characters and situations belong to Gainax.

                                 Slow Burn
                              Asuka's Project
                       by fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com

                            --- * -- * -- * ---

	Stupid Shinji.  Asuka frowned as she washed the dishes.  Why the 
hell had he dirtied so many to make dinner?  It hadn't been necessary, and 
then having the nerve to hide behind Misato when she's told him to wash his 
share.
	The wimp.  Wuss.  Pansy.  She would have hit him if it weren't so 
easy.  Stupid, spineless Shinji.  And here she was up to her elbows in 
dirty water.  "Damn it," she growled.
	It wasn't just Shinji either.  The others at school just thought she 
was a bitch; they didn't fear her any longer, and that was unacceptable.
	But her techniques had always worked, always gotten her what she 
wanted.  It wasn't so easy to just change like that.
	Asuka's eyes suddenly lit up.

                            --- * -- * -- * ---

	"Hey, Misato, can I go to the command center with you today?"
	Misato grunted something that might have been "school".
	Asuka waved it off.  "Oh, it's one of those stupid career days.  I 
thought it might be interesting to see what you do when you're not ordering 
me to kill angels."
	Without lifting her head, Misato grunted in the affirmative, too 
tire to even care.

	She had to admit, when there wasn't any sort of emergency, the 
command center was a really boring place.  Currently, Asuka was watching 
one of the techs whose name she couldn't be bothered to remember play a 
huge game of minesweeper on the main screen.  He still had a few thousand 
mines left to find.
	Sighing, Asuka looked around with as much casualness as she could 
muster.  Still as a grave...  Even Misato was sitting, reading a magazine. 
"So where is everyone?"
	"When there isn't an alert, everyone either goes on stand-by or 
maintenance."  Misato looked up from her magazine.  "I, of course, get 
maintenance," she said flatly.
	Asuka looked around again.  "So... what do the commanders do now?" 
she asked.
	"Who knows?"  Misato was once again involved in the magazine.  "Do 
whatever it is commanders do... watch MTV, Play Nintendo..."
	"I can assure you it is neither of those things, Major."
	Misato's feet slipped off the desk she had them propped upon, and 
she practically threw her magazine on the floor.  "Of course not, sir," she 
said crisply, cheeks reddening.
	"The UN wishes to cut our budget once again," Commander Ikari said, 
standing behind his usual console.  Fuyutsuki was, as ever, with him.
	"Again?  We're already operating with less than optimal resources!"
	"Yes, Major.  And that is what we have been doing.  Not watching MTV 
or playing...."  Gendo looked up at the main screen, adjusting his glasses.  
"Minesweeper."
	Asuka heard the tech swallow loudly as she gazed up at the two 
commanders.
	"Of course, sir."  There was a tightness to Misato's voice, but that 
was the only indication that she had been horribly embarrassed.
	For a brief moment, Commander Ikari's eyes met Asuka's, and the 
light was so that they weren't hidden by any glare or reflection off his 
glasses.
	She felt like a bug being slowly dissected, even in such a short 
amount of time.  Her body almost betrayed her, wanting to shrink back under 
that look, but she would not allow it.  Asuka met the commander's gaze dead 
on.
	"What is the second child doing here?"
	Concise, to the point.  No need to worry about whose toes were being 
stepped upon.
	"She's here--" Misato began.
	"Career day at school, sir," Asuka announced loudly so everyone 
would know she was addressing the commander.  "I was curious what went on 
during a non-emergency state."  Again, he looked at her, but the light 
reflected off his glasses, hiding his eyes.
	"And the third child?"
	"I don't think he cares much to follow in your footsteps.  Sir." She 
gave the commander the tiniest of grins, still staring right where his eyes 
should have been.  She glimpsed sub-commander Fuyutsuki raising an eyebrow.
	Without another word, Commander Ikari turned and walked away with 
Fuyutsuki following.
	There were audible releases of breaths as he disappeared, and even 
Asuka realized she had been holding her own.
	"Well," she said loudly, laughing a little, "that was fun."

                            --- * -- * -- * ---

	"Shinji, take out the trash."
	"But it's your turn, Asuka."
	She turned and leveled her gaze at him.
	Somehow, he held it for a moment, then flinched away.  "Fine."
	When he left, Asuka smiled gleefully.

                            --- * -- * -- * ---

	"You know, Misato, it's totally pointless for me to go to school. I 
know more than the teachers do, and all the kids are so immature."
	Misato just looked at her.
	"I'd be much more interested in getting familiar with the command 
center.  After all, I'll have your position one day," she said, hands on 
hips.
	With one eyebrow twitching, Misato drained her beer.

                            --- * -- * -- * ---

	"She doesn't want to go to school."
	"She doesn't really have to.  She already has one degree."
	"Yeah, Ritsuko, but--"
	"You just don't want to have her around you all day."
	Misato put her head down and groaned.  "Sometimes I wonder how 
Shinji deals with her."
	"As little as he has to probably.  But if you really don't want her 
here, you have to tell her.  I don't blame her actually; I wouldn't want to 
be in school either."  She patted Misato on the shoulder.  "You won't have 
to babysit her...  Make Shigeru do it."
	Misato lifted her head.  "Why me?"

	The sub-commander.  Yeah.  No need to bother the commander with it.  
"Sir, if I could talk to you for a moment?"
	"Yes, Major?"
	"I'm having a small... situation with Asuka.  She doesn't want to go 
to school; she says she'd prefer to spend her days here."
	That brought Fuyutsuki up short.  The second child... every day? 
This was no time for personal biases though.  "I... suppose it's not a... 
problem.  We'll have to find something for her to do though."
	"Of course, sir."  Hoo boy.  The shit was really going to hit the 
fan.

                            --- * -- * -- * ---

	"Waha!  Shinji, go do the dishes for me.  I'm too important to do 
housework!"
	"Asuka, it's your turn," Misato grumbled, holding her hand to her 
head.  She was in a permanent hangover now.
	"Shinji will do them."
	"No, you'll do them."
	Swearing to herself, Asuka realized Misato wasn't paying any 
attention.  Misato didn't seem to realize that in the house, Asuka was the 
smartest one and should have been afforded a little more respect.  As it 
was, she treated like just another fourteen year old.  Unacceptable.
	Misato watched Asuka march into the kitchen and knew work was going 
to be... living hell.

                            --- * -- * -- * ---

	"Asuka, this is Shigeru."
	Asuka eyed him like he was an alien.
	"Give her something to do," Misato ordered, and then hurried away.
	"You were the one playing minesweeper the other day," Asuka accused.
	"Ah... er..."  How had he been drafted into this?  Shit.
	"So give me something to do, dummkopf.  I don't want to stand around 
here all day."
	"Uh... you can...."  Shigeru looked around to find the others 
studiously ignoring him.  "I guess you... could... help Maya!  She's 
doing... something.  She'll be right back."
	Snorting with disgust, Asuka walked off.  She was a bit surprised 
that no one said anything, none of the techs apparently caring whether she 
actually did anything or not.
	Well, if they didn't care, she'd just do what she felt like. Casting 
one look back at the lazing crew, she walked off down a hall, deeper into 
NERV, her footsteps echoing around her.
	Another set of echoing footfalls reached her ears, and for a moment, 
she considered heading back to the command center.  She stopped herself 
though; she had as much right to be at NERV as anyone else did.
	Head held up high, eyes forward, back straight, she began striding 
in the direction the footsteps were coming from.
	Asuka turned a corner and almost skidded to a halt.  Walking toward 
her was Commander Ikari with one hand stuffed casually in his pocket.  He 
was alone, they were alone in the hall.
	Would he say something to her?  Reprimand her?  He almost had to for 
the way she had... shot her mouth off at him.  Even if it had been fun.  
The situation was about to get unpleasant, Asuka figured.
	Closer, only five feet away.  She expected him to stop and give her 
a disappointed look before chewing her out.
	Under the light, four feet away, there was only the glare and 
reflection coming off his glasses.  Three feet away and the glare 
disappeared.  Eyes visible, Asuka looked at them, expecting to find 
something.
	They gazed straight ahead, never noting her presence.
	Two feet, and his eyes were still visible, never taking note of her.  
For some irrational reason, Asuka wanted to block his path and make him 
notice her.  And then she realized it.  So subtle, and so effective.
	Her presence was unimportant to him, and that annoyed her, made her 
want to do something pointless, something against her calm and reserved 
character.
	The commander passed her by and continued on as if Asuka never even 
existed.  She turned and watched him go as he rounded the corner. Then she 
smiled.

                            --- * -- * -- * ---

	Asuka made a choice that night.  "I want to go back to school."
	Misato put her hand on her forehead and rubbed it.  "What now, 
Asuka?"
	"Part-time.  Be at NERV three days and school three days.  So I can 
interact with people my own age, even if they are intellectually inferior."
	"I'm to the point where I don't care what you do, Asuka.  I just 
need a beer."
	"Let me get you one, Misato," Asuka offered sweetly.  "Shinji! Get 
Misato a beer!"

                            --- * -- * -- * ---

	The two idiots made comments, proving what she had suspected before: 
they were no longer afraid, they no longer respected her as their superior.  
Instead of yelling, she didn't even bother to look at them, and the puzzled 
expressions on their faces she glimpsed made her feel warm inside.
	They didn't know what to do.  She had power over the,.  That was the 
real reason for coming back to school.  To hell with interacting with the 
idiots; she just needed to start small and work her way up.

	"Hey Shinji, what's up with Asuka?" Toji asked at lunch.
	Shinji shrugged, frowning.  "She's been really pushy at home.  She 
made me take out the trash even though it was her turn.  It's really 
starting to bug me."
	Kensuke looked at Toji, and they shook their heads.  "Shinji..."
	"Why do you put up with her like that, man?  She's a grade-A bitch," 
Toji said.
	"She's not that bad.  She's just... I don't know.  She's just..."
	Toji and Kensuke nodded at each other.  "A bitch," they said in 
unison.
	Shinji sighed.

                            --- * -- * -- * ---

	"You fixed it all by yourself?"
	Ritsuko laughed.  "Of course not.  The repair crews did, though I 
had to oversee them."
	Asuka nodded, feeling like a kid again.  It was like the first time 
she had seen her Unit 02.  This time though, she was actually going to get 
her hands on it, see what made it tick.  "So what are you going to work 
on?"
	"Last time, you said your HUD was a little fuzzy; I was going to 
look at that first."  Ritsuko smiled at Asuka, surprised at the girl's 
perky attitude.  She wasn't as easy to work with when she was piloting.
	"Do you make all those changes on MAGI?"
	Ritsuko shook her head.  "Think of it like a big TV.  Sometimes the 
signal is bad, and you need to adjust the antenna, but sometimes the 
picture tube isn't working properly and needs to be fixed."
	"So MAGI is like the antenna, and my Eva is like the TV."
	"Exactly.  We can look first to see if there are any problems with 
MAGI, and then Unit 02.  It that turns up empty, I'll have to open it up."
	"Will I have to synch?"
	"Maybe later if there's nothing obvious, but I don't think it'll be 
anything serious."

	Asuka whistled as she carried the stack of papers.  Maintenance 
records, test results, repair notes, Unit 02's activation logs...  And they 
all had her name on it.  Right under Dr. Akagi's.
	Pilot clearance wasn't high enough when the doctor had wanted to do 
some testing on the biological components of Unit 02.  Even though Asuka 
had complained mightily, the doctor hadn't budged.  Security clearance, 
even if it was concerning a pilot and her own Eva, was not something to be 
trifled with.
	For some reason, Asuka was beginning to like Dr. Akagi.  Maybe it 
was from giving her actual work to do, but there was more as well.  The 
papers for instance.  She didn't really want to be a mail carrier, but this 
wasn't quite the same.  They were to go to the commander, delivered 
personally, usually by Dr. Akagi herself.
	But the doctor had instructed Asuka on what to say, what the 
commander would probably ask, and what to answer in return.  The doctor 
must have done it a lot to be so familiar with the commander.
	Asuka marched up to Commander Ikari's door, put on her most serious 
face and rapped sharply on it twice.  She expected an almost immediate 
answer since that was the kind of man the commander seemed to be, but there 
was no such thing.
	Staring at the door, Asuka waited.  She tapped her foot a bit 
impatiently.  Maybe he wasn't there.  Maybe he hadn't heard her knock. She 
lifted her hand, ready to knock again.
	"Enter," came the voice from the other side of the door.
	Asuka froze in amazement, an appreciative grin slowly spreading 
across her face.  Recovering quickly, banishing the grin, Asuka opened the 
door and entered the office.
	When her eyes adjusted, she saw three stacks of paper already on the 
commander's desk, and his attention remained on them as Asuka crossed the 
dimly lit office.  She stood across from him for a moment, waiting for some 
sort of acknowledgement, expecting it... until she remembered whom she was 
dealing with.
	It took all her willpower not to start grinning again.  "The report 
of this morning's level one diagnostic of Unit 02, sir," Asuka said, and 
set the papers on his desk.
	It suddenly looked like a mess, and she got an intense urge to take 
the papers back so the desk would be tidy once more.
	"Where is Dr. Akagi?" he asked, not looking up from his work.
	A question she had expected.  "Still running tests.  My clearance 
was not high enough to assist her."
	"Pilot, hand over your access card."
	He was looking at her then, and even in the minimum of light, his 
glasses gave off a glare and made his eyes impossible to see.  This 
question, asking for her access card, hadn't been expected at all.  With 
her hand trembling ever so slightly, Asuka held out her card to him.
	When the commander reached out to take it from her, Asuka couldn't 
remove her eyes from that white-gloved hand.  Surely he wouldn't...  She 
was the second child; she was needed!  "Sir," she said weakly, and hated 
herself for it.
	He took the card, almost gently, and turned to look at his console.  
No doubt he was deleting all of her records, and she'd soon find herself on 
the streets of Tokyo-3 with nowhere to go and....
	"Clearance granted," Commander Ikari said and handed the card back.
	Asuka accepted it with numb fingers.
	"Inform the doctor that I would speak with her at her convenience. 
Dismissed."  His attention was already back on the papers before him.
	"Yes... sir."  Asuka left the office, access card still held loosely 
in her hand.

	Ritsuko looked back as she heard the door open.  "Asuka, you--"
	"Commander Ikari increased my clearance level," she said, still a 
bit shell-shocked.  "And he said he wanted to talk to you at your 
convenience."
	Ritsuko rolled her eyes a bit and nodded.  "When I'm done here, I'll 
go see what he wants this time," she noted absently.
	That brought Asuka back to attention.  The commander never did 
anything at anyone's convenience except his own, so why would he let Dr. 
Akagi get away with it?  And she seemed so... casual about it, even a 
little dismissive.
	Whenever Misato had to talk to the commander, she was always a 
frazzled mess afterwards.  Though it seemed she was usually being 
reprimanded for one thing or another...
	The doctor though, she was... cool.  That was something Asuka could 
appreciate.  Nothing at all like Misato, always getting drunk, yelling, 
acting like a child...  That didn't accomplish anything.
	"What do you think the commander wants to talk to you about?  Me?" 
Asuka asked.
	Ritsuko looked at her curiously.  "Probably not.  It's most likely 
about... the budget.  Nothing to concern yourself with."
	Asuka nodded, but didn't really agree.  She wanted to be a part of 
the entire process, and she sure didn't want her Eva to break down in the 
middle of a battle because they didn't have enough money to buy new 
batteries.
	She'd just have to be sure to be a fly on the wall for their 
meeting.  That was all.

	"That's enough for today, Asuka.  What'd you think of it all?  Not 
nearly as interesting doing the dirty work, eh?"
	"I don't need to get the taste of LCL out of my mouth so it's not 
that bad, Doctor."
	"I have to admit," Ritsuko said, straightening up, "you were more 
helpful than I thought you'd be."
	Asuka gave her a confident smile.  "I'm used to being 
underestimated."
	"Well, I need to meet with Commander Ikari now; you should be able 
to get a ride from Misato," the doctor said as they both left the lab, the 
door locking behind them.  "I'll see you tomorrow for synch tests," she 
said, and walked away from Asuka.
	Asuka waited a moment until the doctor was out of sight.  No doubt 
she was heading back to Commander Ikari's office.  After counting to 
thirty, Asuka went that way too.

	"I can't."
	"Why not?"
	"Because I'm not at your beck and call.  I have things to do."
	"They can wait."
	"You are not my number one priority."
	"I am aware of this.  It does not please me."
	"Damn it, Gendo..."
	Asuka's eyes widened a little.  So this was the secret.  No wonder 
the doctor didn't want her around for it.
	"I have more work to get done," Ritsuko said tersely.
	Finding she had no place to hide, Asuka just flattened herself 
against the wall and hoped she wouldn't be caught when Dr. Akagi came out.
	The door never opened any wider than it already was though, and 
after a few heart-pounding seconds, Asuka relaxed fractionally.
	"You can't get your way every time," Ritsuko said softly, sounding 
out of breath.
	"Yes, I can."
	The door shut and Asuka almost collapsed.  That had been too close 
for even her comfort.  The next time the doctor wanted to speak to the 
commander in private, she would give them both a very wide berth.
	"I wonder what Shinji would say about this?" she mused aloud as she 
walked away.  "Or Wondergirl..."
	There was something about the idea of Wondergirl, Miss Non-
emotional, in Unit 00 very calmly stepping on the commander that made her 
laugh, though a bit guiltily.
	Asuka couldn't help thinking about what she had heard though.
	'You can't get your way every time.'
	'Yes, I can.'
	"Yes, I can," she breathed and continued to walk.

                            --- * -- * -- * ---

	"Asuka?"
	"Yes, Hikari?"
	"I liked the way you handled that idiot this morning.  Thanks."
	Asuka flashed her a cocky grin.  "No problem.  I think Toji's 
finally learned not to mess with me."  Or she had learned how to keep him 
easily in line.  Maybe that was why NERV ran as well as it did with the 
bunch of clowns working there.
	Suddenly disgusted, Asuka couldn't help but think about those idiots 
as her only technical assistance if something ever went wrong with her Eva.
	"Just because he and that little worm Kensuke don't take class 
seriously doesn't mean other people don't want to."  Hikari's hand clenched 
into a fist, a gesture not lost on Asuka.  "Sometimes I'd like to take Toji 
and...."  There were no words to express how she was feeling.
	Asuka just looked at her.
	That was enough to make Hikari turn away, a blush rising on her 
cheeks, fist no longer clenched.  "Well, he's rude anyway.  Boys are just 
immature."
	"Ah."  That was interesting.  All she did was look at Hikari and the 
class rep had practically spilled her guts.  Maybe it was just in the other 
girl's nature, but still...
	Still looking embarrassed, Hikari took a step back.  "That was all I 
wanted to say.  Thanks, I mean."
	"Hey, want to eat lunch together?" Asuka asked suddenly, catching 
Hikari by surprise.
	"Uh... sure."
	"Shinji made lunch today.  I hope he got it right this time."
	"Is Shinji a good cook?"
	"Pretty good.  He needs some help, but he's getting better.  He 
makes great streudel, just like back home.  I could have him make you 
some."
	"Oh, would you?  That sounds great."
	"Shinji'll do it if I say so."

                            --- * -- * -- * ---

	"So how did your meeting go?"
	"Meeting?"
	"With the commander."
	"Oh, it was fine.  Your name never came up."
	'Thank God,' Asuka thought.  "So, what's today's schedule?"
	"Synch tests.  You can get a jump on Rei and Shinji."
	Asuka grimaced a little.  "When will you do something about the 
taste of LCL?  This stupid tests wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't floating in 
a big puddle of whale backwash."
	Ritsuko raised an eyebrow.  "Backwash from a whale?"
	"You've never tasted it, have you?  Ah well.  I suppose that's the 
price I have to pay for saving the city."
	Ritsuko shook her head, smiling slightly.  "Go get changed so we can 
start.  Maybe you can help me with Shinji and Rei's synch tests later."

	Asuka suffered through the synch test as she had all the other 
times.  She obeyed instructions automatically, lost in thoughts of her own.
	She had to be realistic.  She couldn't get her way every time, no 
matter how hard she tried.  Commander Ikari was so much more... prepared to 
get his way.  He was older and had more experience, his rank alone was 
enough, and he was a complete cold-hearted bastard.
	That was the key concept.  Since everyone thought he was capable of 
killing his own son, there were only a few select people that would 
question him.  And if no one questioned him, no one would refuse him.  He 
always got what he wanted...
	Asuka frowned.  Everyone questioned her, as if she were still in 
grade school.  Waiting twenty or thirty years was not an acceptable option.
	"You just dropped a couple points, Asuka.  Is there something 
wrong?" Ritsuko asked over the com.
	"No, just... distracted," she answered, and then tried to relax. 
Still, it wasn't fair that no one trusted her, that everyone treated her 
like a child.  Except for Dr. Akagi; she didn't as much as the others.
	Or Commander Ikari.
	An adult...  That was what he expected her to act like.  To him, she 
was an adult.  When it suited him, otherwise she was non-existent.
	That got Asuka' thoughts running in a completely different direction 
while she performed her synch tests.

------------------------------

From: "Kozo Fuyutsuki" <fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com>
Subject: [Eva][FanFic] Asuka's Project, chapter 2
X-Moderation-Queue-Date: 8 May 2000 16:48:36 -0000

This is about two months later than I intended.  Enjoy.

- fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com


These characters and situations are property of Gainax.


                             Slow Burn
                          Asuka's Project
                             Chapter 2
                   by fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"Dr. Akagi, can I talk to you?"
	"Sure, Asuka.  What is it?"  Ritsuko had never seen the girl 
look so nervous before.  This was very odd.
	"I know how much older you are than me, and I know you must 
have had... relationships with men."
	Trying to keep her composure, Ritsuko answered, "I suppose 
you could put it that way."
	"What do you do to get a man to... notice you?"
	Of course it would be a question like that.  Nothing simple 
and clinical...  Next thing Asuka would want to know would be what 
love was. "Well, it all depends on the man.  Who is it that you're 
trying to get the attention of?"
	"Just... someone."
	Ritsuko nodded, figuring it was Kaji.  That was an unhealthy 
infatuation, and Kaji didn't help it at all by acting like some 
high school Casanova.  "Well..." she began, thinking over what she 
should say. "Depending on _how_ old he is, I think maturity, and 
looks, of course, is the best way to get attention.  Some men like 
intelligence, or an outgoing personality.  Others like forward 
women...  There's no right answer."
	Asuka nodded.  The doctor wasn't being particularly helpful, 
but she couldn't deny the truth in the words she was being told.
	"I can't imagine someone not noticing you, Asuka.  This... 
person must be an idiot."  An accurate description of Kaji, if 
ever she had heard one.
	'No, he's not at all.  He's just... busy, I guess."  Asuka 
released a frustrated sigh and put her head in her hand.  This was 
more difficult than she had planned.  But why did she even care?  
To just observe her subject, it was better that he _didn't_ notice 
her.
	But she refused to be ignored!  She was a pilot, and they 
needed her.  All of those times, with her life on the line, and 
all she ever got was criticism, if any reaction at all.  She 
deserved the recognition.
	Heck, even Shinji and Wondergirl did.
	"I'm sure you'll think of something, Asuka.  Just remember: 
all men are animals.  You find their weakness and they won't be 
able to resist," Ritsuko continued.
	'I think the commander's found your weakness, doctor,' Asuka 
thought as she nodded.  The advice was sound though.  A 
weakness...  That wouldn't be easy since there really wasn't 
anyone that would know.
	Except... maybe...
	"Yes, I'll manage.  Everything would be so much easier if 
people would just do what I want," she said, not giving away 
anything at all what she was thinking.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"Hey, Wondergirl!"
	Rei stopped and looked back at Asuka.
	"I need to talk to you," Asuka said as she caught up to her 
fellow pilot.
	Rei waited until Asuka was next to her then started walking 
again.
	"I wanted to ask you something about the commander."
	Rei only looked at her.
	"Does he--"
	"Why?"  Rei stopped walking and stared at Asuka.
	"Because I wanted to know."
	"You should ask the commander."
	Asuka just sighed and shook her head.  "Forget it, 
Wondergirl.  I didn't think you'd be much help."  Talking to Rei 
always gave her a headache, and that was the last thing she 
needed.
	Rei watched her walk off.  How odd.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	Asuka sat with one elbow on the desk, head resting in her 
hand. She was staring off into space, wondering how Rei managed to 
be such a basket case.  Asuka was sure she knew something, 
probably more than even Dr. Akagi, but getting answers out of 
either one of them would probably be impossible.
	Sighing, the command center slowly came back into focus, and 
she found her eyes directed right at Commander Ikari.  Asuka 
blinked and sat up straight.  How long had he been there?  How 
long had she been staring?
	Swiveling around in her chair, Asuka tried to appear as if 
she was doing something.  Even if playing minesweeper was 
overlooked, she didn't want the commander to think she was a 
slacker.
	"Pilot."
	Unreasonable dread filled her, though she turned back around 
to meet his gaze.  "Yes, sir," she answered firmly.
	"Where is Dr. Akagi?"
	Strange.  He probably knew right where she was.  The doctor 
had been courteous enough to leave her a message that she wouldn't 
be in, so why wouldn't the commander know?  Answer: he did.
	So why was he asking her?  "I believe she's sick today, 
sir." Answer: to rattle her.
	He nodded at her, then stood and walked out of Asuka's view.
	That was weird.  The more Asuka observed the commander, the 
more she felt she understood why Rei seemed closer to him than 
anyone else.
	With sudden determination, Asuka stood and marched out of 
the command center.  She had had enough.

	This time, his back was to her as he walked down the 
corridor. "Sir!"
	Unlike Rei, he reacted.  Gendo stopped walking and turned 
around.  "What is it, pilot?"
	"Sir, you knew Dr. Akagi was out sick."
	"Of course."
	"Why did you ask me then?"  Asuka would have her answers.
	"It is not your concern."
	Asuka frowned and barely stopped herself from raising her 
voice. That would prove fruitless against the commander.  "I beg 
to differ, sir. You ask me for the answer to a question you 
already know, and it's none of my concern?"  She shook her head.
	"I pilot, and I follow orders, even when I know you don't 
care one way or the other about my survival, but here--"
	"Are you done?"
	Asuka blinked.  "What?"
	"I asked you if you were finished, pilot."
	"I... guess so."
	"Good."  Gendo turned away from her and resumed walking.
	Asuka snorted as she watched him.  She did it again, this 
time with some amusement.  Finally, she began to giggle.  She had 
never been so insulted, and yet she couldn't bring herself to be 
angry in the least.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	He had planned on that confrontation.
	No matter how Asuka analyzed the situation, it always came 
back to the same conclusion: he was toying with her.
	Maybe this was his way of getting back at her for talking 
back to him on that first day.  Or maybe he was testing her; this 
seemed to be what everyone else at NERV dealt with...  Maybe he 
just didn't like her, and then the feeling would be mutual.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"Dr. Akagi, can I ask you something?"
	As long as it wasn't about men.  "Sure."
	"It's about the commander."
	It wasn't about men; it was worse.  "What about him?"  
Ritsuko tried to sound curt, but figured she sounded nervous and 
evasive since that was just how she felt.
	"The other day, when you were sick, he asked me where you 
were, but I knew that he knew."
	Ritsuko nodded.  "Sounds about right."
	"So then I asked him why he bothered if he already knew."
	Eyebrows climbing quickly up her forehead, Ritsuko said, 
"You asked him that?"
	"Yeah," Asuka answered simply.  "I was pretty annoyed.  But 
he said it wasn't my concern.  Why?"
	"I think," Ritsuko answered slowly, choosing her words 
carefully, "that he enjoys keeping people off-balance.  It makes 
them easier to... deal with."
	"Manipulate, you mean."
	"That too.  It's best just to go along with it."
	"Maybe that's why he always gets his way."
	Ritsuko froze.  "Maybe," she answered quietly, avoiding 
Asuka's gaze.
	"I don't get it.  He goes out of his way to bug me, and then 
doesn't even say anything about it.  He even gets mad when I react 
the way he wants me to.  Maybe I should just go back to school.  
At least I know why the teachers are annoying."
	That made Ritsuko laugh.  "My suggestion would be to just 
ignore it when you know he's trying to get something out of you," 
she said. "You'll be less confused that way."
	"Then why don't you?" Asuka asked, her voice suddenly quiet.
	"Why don't I what?"
	"Ignore it when he tries to get something from you."
	The smile fell from Ritsuko's face.  "What--"
	"Let me ask you something personal...  What do you get in 
return from him?  I don't really get much for being a pilot, but 
you... you must get something in return."
	Ritsuko swallowed hard, narrowing her eyes at Asuka.  
"You... What did you...."  Something sour rose up in her throat.  
"I think we're done here.  You can leave now."
	Not waiting for Asuka to comply, Ritsuko stomped off in 
apparent consternation, leaving the girl alone.
	Asuka felt mysteriously... cold inside.  Usually, she would 
feel some malicious glee, but not this time.

	Asuka left NERV, not informing anyone.  This was something 
she just wanted to think about it on her own.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	School was pleasantly uncomplicated.  Asuka sat with Hikari 
at lunch, each of them quietly eating.  In fact, Asuka had been 
like that all day, being unnaturally withdrawn.  She didn't appear 
melancholy though, just distant.
	Her phone ringing made them both stop eating.  Hikari just 
looked at Asuka as the phone rang again.
	"Are you going to answer that?"
	Asuka shrugged.  "I suppose."  She pulled out the phone and 
switched it on.  "She held it to her ear without saying anything. 
Sighing, she nodded, then put the phone back.  "I have to go."
	"Oh.  Bye," Hikari said as Asuka stood and walked away.  
Whatever Asuka's problem was, her mood was catching.

	She knocked, the two raps almost timid, and waited for the 
inevitable.  No doubt this really was the end for her.  No 
increase in her clearance this time, no games.
	"Enter."
	Asuka did so and stood in front of the desk.  There were no 
papers to distract this time, no stunts, no excuses.  She was 
determined though, and would no go through this meeting like she 
had done anything wrong.  Taking a deep breath, she raised her 
eyes from the desktop and looked directly at Commander Ikari.
	He managed it somehow, controlled the light, adjusted his 
glasses just so...
	"Pilot," he said, looking at her with long-practiced 
disinterest.
	"Yes, sir."  That look....  She hated it, hated the way it 
made her feel.  It was worse than being ignored; it made her feel 
less than human.
	If only he'd move a little so the light would reflect off 
the lenses and hide his eyes.  Swallowing thickly, Asuka managed 
to speak. "Sir, if I could just explain--"
	"Denied."
	Asuka snapped her mouth shut, teeth clicking together 
loudly.  She hated him, but couldn't help to admire how easily he 
handled people and situations, including her own.
	"Pilot, are you aware of the reason for giving NERV 
personnel clearance ratings?"
	"Yes, I--"
	"Then explain why you disregarded yours, whether under the 
supervision of Dr. Akagi or not."
	Blinking rapidly, feeling like she had missed something, 
Asuka tried to come up with some sort of coherent response.  "I... 
didn't know..."
	"Excuses are unacceptable."
	"I know, sir.  I just didn't--"
	"Consider yourself warned.  There will not be another 
warning."
	Asuka straightened up.  "Yes, sir."
	"Dismissed."
	Turning quickly in an effort to escape before he changed his 
mind, Asuka walked to the door.  She thought she was free when she 
got her palm on the handle, ready to push it open.
	"And pilot."
	She stopped, but did not turn around.
	"If you undermine the integrity of my command by revealing 
any information you have, you will be arrested and jailed.  No 
exceptions."
	And the axe had come down, though in a surprisingly gentle 
manner. "Yes, sir."  Without another wasted breath, Asuka exited 
the office.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	Staring up at the ceiling wasn't very interesting.  No 
wonder she had never bothered to do it before.  Asuka needed to 
contemplate though, and that seemed best served by looking at the 
darkened ceiling.
	So what happened?  Dr. Akagi had told the commander what she 
had said, but he had done nothing other than warn her not to tell 
anyone else. What did that mean?  If anything.
	But it meant something, because she could easily tell fifty 
other people before being put in jail.  And that wouldn't stop 
those fifty people from telling another fifty people...  Yes, he 
had threatened her, but... there was an element of trust there as 
well.
	You didn't let someone walk around with your secrets unless 
you trusted them, after all.  Asuka frowned and let her eyes drift 
close.  Did he really have so little regard for the doctor though?  
Did she?
	Asuka liked the doctor much more than she had when she first 
arrived at NERV, and that simply made things all the more 
confusing.
	Swearing to herself, Asuka tried to get some sleep.

	Kaji.  Rakish, charming Kaji.  More like a brother, though 
he was ruggedly handsome enough that Asuka would have liked him as 
something more.
	A pleasantly familiar dream where Kaji's hands moved up and 
down her back, dealing out the world's most perfect massage.  With 
her hair pushed to one side, his breath came down on the back of 
her neck.  The touch was featherish, tickling, gentle as she'd 
always imagined it would be.
	"Mm... Kaji..."
	The whispering voice.  "Asuka...."  No longer Kaji, but 
Shinji...
	She hadn't quite been able to figure that out yet.  Why 
Shinji? What was it about him that made him invade her dreams?
	Oh, but Shinji's hands felt just as nice as Kaji's.  If only 
she could get a massage half as good while she was awake.  
Sighing, Asuka melted under the practiced touch.
	"Go lower," she said, wiggling pleasantly against the silk 
bedding that caressed her skin, the strong hands kneading her 
shoulders expertly.
	"Request denied, pilot."

	Asuka sat up in bed, her body bathed in a cold sweat.  She 
gulped air, clutching the blanket tightly.  Her entire body was 
quivering.  She could still feel... _his_ hands on her.
	Kaji was fine.  Shinji she could handle.  But... the 
commander? She honestly hoped she had just mistakenly eaten some 
of Misato's cooking.
	She flopped back on her bed and pulled the covers over her 
head in an attempt to get back to sleep.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"What happened to you?  You look terrible."
	"Bad dreams," Asuka mumbled, her eyes still mostly closed.
	"Going to school today?" Misato asked, watching the girl 
wander around like a zombie.
	Asuka nodded, then headed back to her room.
	Bad dreams...  Misato would have wagered it was more than 
that by the look of her young charge.

	Twin glares were directed at Toji and Kensuke.  Shinji had 
been smart enough to keep totally out of it for once.
	"It was just a joke.  Don't get yer panties in a twist," 
Toji stuttered, backing away.
	If anything, the glares became more severe.
	Kensuke couldn't take it any longer, and turned and ran.
	"I was joking... sorry," Toji apologized reluctantly.
	"You should be sorry, Toji Suzuhara!  You have no right to 
say those types of things about..."
	Asuka tuned the rest out.  Her head was already hurting, and 
she didn't need to listen to any more shouting and yelling.  The 
thought came unbidden to her: what does the commander when he has 
a headache?
	The mental voice answered promptly.  'He doesn't get 
headaches. He doesn't have to deal with things he doesn't want to.  
You could only wish to be so lucky.'
	"I only wish I could get lucky," Asuka mumbled, staring off 
into the distance.
	Hikari glanced at her, but hadn't really heard what her 
friend had said.  The look on Asuka's face was enough to prompt 
her to leave well enough alone though.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"Dr. Akagi?"
	Ritsuko glanced back.  "What do you want, Asuka?"  She was 
far from friendly.
	"I just wanted to apologize.  I don't know what I was 
thinking."
	"Did he make you do this?" she asked icily, keeping her eyes 
on her work.
	"The commander?"
	"Yes, the _commander_."
	There was no mistaking the hostility in that reaction.  "No, 
he didn't."
	"Fine.  Apology accepted."
	Asuka waited for a moment, then asked, "Is there anything--"
	"No, you've done enough.  I don't need your help any 
longer."
	Frowning, Asuka left without another word.

	"What the hell are you teaching those kids, Misato!?"
	Looking up at Ritsuko, Misato could confidently say she had 
never seen her so angry.  "I haven't been teaching them anything," 
she answered defensively.
	"I noticed!  Why don't you teach them some manners if you 
think you can handle it?"
	"What are you talking about?"
	"You let her go around saying things like that, especially 
here, if the commander heard her, well...  You would have one less 
houseguest," Ritsuko hissed.
	Before Misato could finish trying to figure out just what 
Ritsuko was talking about, the blonde woman was gone.  "What the 
hell's her problem?"
	"Probably something to do with an unfulfilling sex life."
	Misato acted reflexively, elbowing the person that had 
managed to sneak up behind her.  "Can it, Kaji.  This isn't a 
joke."

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	Toji did his best not to cower under Asuka's verbal assault, 
but it was hard.  Kensuke had already succumbed and fled.  
Suzuharas were made of sterner stuff though, and he wouldn't scare 
so easily.
	Really, he expected it from Asuka, thought not quite so... 
fervently.  But Hikari, standing slightly behind and to the side 
of the raging demon, smiling, chilled him to the bone.

	"Bitch doesn't even _begin_ to describe her."
	"You know she's going to yell at you; why do you do it?"
	"I dunno.  She was never so... loud before.  And it was 
always fun to see that look on Hik... the class rep's face."
	Kensuke immediately began snickering.  "I think Toji's got a 
crush.  What do you think, Shinji?"
	Toji scowled at him.  "I do not!  Shut up!"
	"I wonder what's wrong with Asuka," Shinji pondered, 
ignoring his two friends about to engage in mortal combat.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	This was certainly against her better judgment, but the 
knock to her pride was far worse.
	Asuka knocked on the now-familiar door.
	"Enter."
	She was getting used to the ritual, no longer intimidated by 
the dark, imposing office, and even becoming accustomed to his 
gaze.  She only felt slightly sub-human when she was held in it.
	It was simply about adjusting her mindset.  The way she 
thought and acted around other people, even the sub-commander, 
didn't work; this was something in a completely different realm.  
"Sir," she began, not expecting a prompt, "Dr. Akagi no longer 
needs my help."
	He made a sound.  It might have been speculative or 
questioning or one of a hundred other things, but the commander 
did not speak to help Asuka in her analysis of it.
	"I'd like to be assigned something else."
	"Such as?"
	He managed to be unpredictable even in the most predictable 
situations.  Asuka thought she had a pretty good comeback though. 
"Something appropriate for my level of education."
	He didn't move except to push his glasses up.  "And your 
maturity?"
	Off-balance at every step.  "I am mature enough to be able 
to handle any task," Asuka answered, allowing a little fire to 
escape.
	"That proved to be untrue with your last assignment."
	Asuka felt her face flush.  "That wasn't....  I didn't--"
	"Report to Commander Fuyutsuki."
	"Yes, sir."  Off-balance at every step, and how easily he 
had pushed her aside.
	He was a genius.  A bastard, but still a genius.

	"He told you what?"
	"To report to you."
	'Ikari, I'll get you for this.'  Fuyutsuki sighed and looked 
around.  They were still in the middle of the budget battle, and 
he had stacks of assorted paperwork to go through.  He certainly 
didn't have time to babysit.
	"Well... I guess...."  His eyes settled on a stack of 
papers.  "Ah. You can take these papers back to him.  All of them 
need to be signed."
	Asuka sighed.  So it would come down to this.
	"If you can stand it for a few days, I'll see what else I 
can find for you."
	"You really don't need my help, do you?  He just did this... 
because, right?" she asked, frustrated and a tad depressed.
	"He does seem to enjoy inconveniencing as many people at a 
time as he can.  Here."  Fuyutsuki handed over the stack of 
papers.
	"Yes, sir...."  Just about ready to go back to school after 
putting up with all the games, Asuka trudged away.

	The door again, but this time, her hands were full.  Staring 
at it for a moment, Asuka just kicked it twice.  As long as her 
request got through...
	"Enter."
	"Yeah, thanks," she muttered, fumbling to get the door open 
without dropping the papers all over.  "Doing just fine, 
Commander.  Don't need any help out here."
	Finally, with a grunt, she managed to get the door open, and 
stumbled inside.  Panting, Asuka deposited the papers 
unceremoniously on the desk.  "These are from Commander Fuyutsuki.  
He said they _all_ need your signature."
	"Dismissed."
	Asuka's mouth twitched in a small grin.  He apparently 
wasn't so happy with that.
	"Pilot," he said as she turned, "don't get ahead of 
yourself.  You are still only a child."
	"A child that's graduated college."
	"Only a child."
	There was a moment of silence that could have been 
categorized as hostile.
	"And, pilot, inform Fuyutsuki he is in command until I 
return from my meeting."
	Asuka nodded sharply, instantly taking things more 
seriously. "Yes, sir."
	Once outside the office, Asuka got a small thoughtful smile 
on her face.  Bastard, sure, but... she could handle him, no 
problem.

End part 2

------------------------------

From: "Kozo Fuyutsuki" <fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com>
Subject: [Eva][FanFic] Asuka's Project, chapter 3-4

These characters and situations are property of Gainax.

                             Slow Burn
                          Asuka's Project
                             Chapter 3
                   by fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"Commander, can I ask you about the commander?"
	"Ikari?  I suppose."  The sub-commander was buried in gobs 
of paperwork while Asuka sat in his office and watched, 
occasionally handing him papers.
	"Why is he... the way he is?"
	"Why is anyone the way they are?  The events of our lives 
shape us."
	"Yeah, I know about Jensen and his sixty/forty theory, 
but... something really bad must have happened.  Look at what 
happened to me, and I'm fine."
	Fuyutsuki stopped writing and looked up at Asuka, one 
eyebrow arched.  He would have disagreed, but it simply wouldn't 
make any difference.  "No, they're not... pleasant memories at 
all," he said, returning to his work.
	Asuka shrugged.  "I really think he needs to lighten up."
	"He's never been light.  Happy, yes.  Light, certainly 
not."
	"Really?  Happy?  I didn't think that was possible."
	Fuyutsuki chuckled.  "You'd be surprised.  And this isn't 
exactly a time to be going on picnics in the park."
	"I suppose."  She placed another stack of papers in front 
of him. "Still, wouldn't it work better if he, you know, got 
along with people?"
	"To some extent.  His particular... technique is more 
useful for dealing with people outside of NERV.  We basically 
rely on NERV personnel to share a similar vision, or at least be 
loyal and dedicated."
	Asuka smirked.  "It's definitely not the money.  I've 
heard Misato complain enough about that."
	"Yes, and you can thank the UN for that.  They don't seem 
to care about keeping NERV operational to pull their hides out 
of the fire."
	"Dummkopfs."
	That made Fuyutsuki chuckle in the midst of the paperwork.

	"So how was your day, Asuka?" Misato asked as they got 
into the car.
	"Pretty good.  Commander Fuyutsuki was nice."
	Misato blinked.  "I thought you were helping out Ritsuko."
	"Yeah, but... she didn't need my help."
	"So how did you end up with Commander Fuyutsuki?"
	"Commander Ikari told me to report to him."
	There was a chain of events that Misato didn't even want 
to try to figure out.  "Right.  So what you think of NERV behind 
the scenes?"
	"I think it's a huge mess.  I suppose it's not something 
you can do anything about, but I'm surprised anyone thinks NERV 
will save the city," Asuka explained as she looked out the car 
window.
	"Thanks for your ringing endorsement.  We do try, you 
know."
	"Hmm...  What do you think of Commander Ikari?"
	Misato chuckled.  "Still got a grudge against him?  You'll 
never get anywhere with it.  Half the free world has a grudge 
against that man, and he's never so much as been hit with a pie 
in public."
	"But what do you _think_ about him?"
	"I think he's a cold-hearted monster for the most part, 
but what better way to fight monsters than have one of your 
own?"  Misato shrugged.  "A necessary evil, I suppose."
	"Do you really think he needs to act like that?"
	For a few moments, Misato remained silent, and when she 
spoke, it was thoughtful.  "Sometimes, I think he has no heart 
at all, that he's a machine, and the only compassion he knows is 
the dictionary entry, but then..."  She shrugged somewhat 
helplessly.  "I try to imagine what things would be like if 
someone like Commander Fuyutsuki were in charge.  I can't see 
it; I can't see NERV, Tokyo-3, Japan surviving as long as they 
already have."
	Asuka nodded.  "Do you respect him?"
	Misato laughed.  "I've never been asked that one before."
	"Do you?"
	"I dunno.  I know I probably should, but... I can't.  I 
can't respect someone who does so many things I disagree with... 
even if I know they have to be done."
	There was respect, if only for his rank, and very 
grudging, but it was respect all the same.  It was probably 
similar to the way Asuka herself felt.
	Commander Ikari was simply impossible to like.  Mostly.

	Asuka stared at her bed and gave it a dirty look before 
lying down in it.  She had developed this routine of letting the 
bed, blankets, pillows, and sheets know how much she hated them, 
and that seemed to keep the dreams away.
	Stifling a single yawn, Asuka curled up and went to sleep.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	Unhealthy curiosity.  That's what it was.  All the same, 
she couldn't stop.  Obsession...  Even if she wanted to stop, 
she couldn't stop until she knew everything.  All the secrets, 
all the little things... What made her own Unit 02 tick was 
nothing compared to this.
	What made Commander Ikari tick?  What made him an apparent 
atomic bomb ready to go off at any time?  And was Shinji really 
his son?
	Asuka was fairly sure he was.  After all, who else would 
put up with him besides his father?
	"Something on your mind?"
	Blinking, she turned away from the window and looked at 
Commander Fuyutsuki.  "Just thinking about Shinji and the 
commander.  I'd never know they were related if I didn't... 
er... know, I suppose."
	Kozo laughed.  "They aren't very similar, are they?  He's 
not much like Yui either, though sometimes I see it.  Not often 
though."
	"More for the commander?" Asuka asked, eyeing the pile of 
papers Fuyutsuki had just added to.
	"Compliments of the UN."

	Asuka almost whistled on her way to the commander's 
office.  At least by working at NERV she didn't have to listen 
to teachers drone on endlessly about things they didn't really 
know about.
	And Commander Fuyutsuki seemed to be a pretty good source 
of information.  Even though delivering papers wasn't very 
mentally stimulating or challenging, it was preferable to 
sitting in a desk at school all day.
	The idea was funny and frightening at the same time.  
Having to deal with the commander each day was not enough to 
deter her escape-avoidance behavior.  The _truly_ scary thing 
was that... she couldn't be sure if it was a negative or 
positive reinforcer... or maybe, possibly... probably both.
	There went mistake number one.  The professors had always 
warned that students should never try to analyze themselves.  
Yet, she was acting just like a freshman again.  The results, 
invariably, ended up being the worst of everything about 
herself.
	Commander's door.  Time to stop analyzing herself, lest he 
think she'd totally flipped her wig... which might very well 
have been true.  No need to advertise it though; the ritual 
didn't allow for such distractions.
	Asuka knocked, and entered after he granted permission. 
"Commander," she greeted almost lightly, setting the papers on 
his desk.
	"Pilot," he answered.
	She froze.  He hadn't done that before.  The only words 
she was used to hearing from him were "enter" and "dismissed," 
and sometimes she didn't even get "dismissed."
	How long she stood immobile with a puzzled look on her 
face was undetermined.  She kept expecting him to make some 
request of her, ask her another question that he knew the answer 
to...
	He looked up at her.  "Is there something else?"
	"Uh..."  The glare was gone, and Asuka could see how much 
the commander's and Shinji's eyes were alike, even though they 
were different colors.  Shinji's didn't seem to swirl with... 
darkness, as much pain, and... the yearning.  For what though?  
"Nothing, sir."
	"Then you're dismissed."  He lowered his gaze to the 
papers and began to look through them.
	With the befuddled look still on her face, Asuka turned 
and left.

	"What is NERV really trying to do?"
	For the time it took Asuka's heart to beat twice, she 
watched Commander Fuyutsuki's pen stop.  Then it began 
scribbling away again.  "To protect the world from angel 
attacks."
	"Why does Commander Ikari have that look in his eyes 
then?"
	"What look?"
	Asuka shrugged.  "It reminded me of Shinji sometimes.  I 
don't really know what it is."
	Aloud, he said, for her benefit, "The pressure on all of 
us is very intense."
	Nodding in response, Asuka could tell it wasn't something 
he wanted to talk about.  "So is the UN going to fire us all?"
	"Not yet.  They can't cut as deep as they'd like to 
without justification, and simply being cheap is not.  I think 
the destruction of Tokyo-3 would be bad press for them as well."
	"I considered teaching when I started college.  If this is 
where it leads, I'm glad I didn't bother.  Paperwork is the most 
useless thing in the entire world."
	Fuyutsuki dropped the pen and leaned back in his chair.  
"It's good for one thing: hand cramps."
	"Should I take these to the commander?" Asuka asked, 
eyeing the papers that had just been finished.
	"You don't have to.  They'll still be here tomorrow."
	"I don't mind.  It's only a few more signatures for 
Commander Ikari."
	Fuyutsuki only sighed and shook his head.

	She performed the ritual for what felt like the hundredth 
time that week.  It wasn't tiring yet; the commander seemed to 
enjoy catching her off guard every so often, keeping protocol 
fresh.
	That also probably meant he wasn't bothered the way she 
had hoped.
	"Enter."
	Lips pursed in a half-whistle, Asuka opened the door.  She 
resisted blinking in an effort to get her eyes adjusted to the 
gloom.  If he could sit in there with his tinted glasses and not 
have any trouble, then she could manage.  "More, sir."
	"Pilot, do yourself a favor."  He didn't look up from his 
papers.
	"Sir?"
	"Stop.  You won't accomplish anything."
	Asuka swallowed involuntarily, prompting the commander to 
raise his head.  She actually took a step back when she realized 
he wasn't wearing his glasses.
	"I remind you again that you are a child.  You have no 
idea what you are doing when you play these games."
	Finding her voice, Asuka braved an innocent response.  "I 
don't--"
	"Playing innocent is the final resort of a desperate 
individual. A guilty individual."
	When he spoke, the feelings that welled up in Asuka were 
actually the opposite of what she would have expected.  She felt 
even more bold, not intimidated.  "And I'm sure you've never 
played innocent, sir."
	"You tread a dangerous path."
	"Sir, are you threatening me?"  Those were words she 
wanted to take back as soon as she spoke them, but it was too 
late for that.
	Corner of his mouth twitching into a look of near-
amusement, he shook his head.  "I have no need to threaten you, 
pilot."
	"Why are you such a bastard?" Asuka snapped, no longer 
fearing what he might say or do to her.
	"It accomplishes what needs to be done.  The success of 
the Project is the only thing of importance."
	Cold and harsh, like a blade.  That was his voice, his 
answer. People didn't matter.  Not the personnel of NERV, not 
the pilots, not Dr. Akagi...  "What about Shinji?"
	"Dismissed, pilot," he answered curtly.
	With a frown seated prominently on her face, Asuka simply 
shook her head.
	"Pilot, you are dismissed," he repeated, sounding annoyed.
	"I don't know why you hate him.  He does everything to try 
and get you to care."  With that finally said, though she wasn't 
sure why she had said it, Asuka left the office.
	When she was out in the hall, the frown faded and the 
exhilaration of what she had just done hit her.  Trembling 
slightly, trying her best to not go charging down the hall and 
make as much noise as she could, Asuka just leaned against the 
wall and took deep breaths.
	What got Misato so rattled she'd never know.  That had 
been the most heart-pounding experience of her life right after 
piloting.  She had actually given Commander Ikari a piece of her 
mind, even if it had only been about Shinji.
	And what had the commander done?  Nothing!  She had won!
	Asuka Langely Sohryu had beaten Commander Ikari at his own 
game! It was a proud day indeed.
	"What are you smiling about?"
	Looking up at the curious face of Misato, Asuka felt her 
smile grow.  "I have to tell you something," she said and 
grabbed her guardian's arm to pull her down the hall.

                       --- * -- * -- * ---

	Kozo Fuyutsuki had the beginnings of a headache.  "You're 
giving me a headache."
	"She has overstepped her bounds yet again.  She will 
return to school immediately," Gendo said, sounding vaguely 
annoyed.
	"She must have pushed all your buttons to get you this 
worked up.  That girl is either fearless or brainless."
	"Are you finding this amusing?"
	Oh yeah, he was not happy at all.  "In a way, yes.  You're 
taking this far too seriously."
	"She is the one taking things far too lightly, playing 
games as if this were a carnival.  She isn't aware of how 
important--"
	"What did she say?  Something about Yui?  Or was it Rei?  
Possibly Shinji..."
	"Old man..."
	"Don't call me an old man just because I'm right.  You're 
angry because she hurt you and you have no way to deal with it.  
I know you, Ikari, better than you might think, and certainly 
better than I'd like to."
	Snorting in what might have been disgust, Gendo stood, 
walked past his second-in-command and left the office.

	The metal was strangely warm to his touch.  Almost alive, 
but not.  It never would be really.  If she decided to strike 
against him then, he wouldn't be able to move fast enough; she 
would have what she wanted.
	The words were always inadequate; they couldn't change 
things. It was only him, and her, and the thrumming of NERV 
around them.
	This was the only time he had the courage to say the 
things that no one else would understand.  Even then it was 
cowardly, as she gave no response, no reaction.  "I don't hate 
him," he said quietly.
	One gloved hand clenched into a fist, but that was the 
only evidence of emotion.  "The children..."  The word could 
have almost been mistaken for a curse.  "None of them realize 
what is at stake. The Second perceives this as a game, and there 
isn't any way..."
	The fist clenched tighter for a moment, then relaxed and 
hung limply at his side.  "Broken homes...  The one thing in our 
lives that we all share."

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"Shinji."
	He actually flinched.  "What do you want this time?" 
Shinji asked, more sharply than he had meant.
	Expecting the worst, he was surprised when Asuka plopped 
down on the couch next to him.
	"Why is your father such a..."  She paused with the word 
"jerk" on her lips.  "A bastard?"
	Shinji's spine immediately stiffened.  He heard a lot of 
things come out of Asuka's mouth, but never anything like that. 
"What... what do you mean?"
	Asuka snorted.  "You know what I mean, dummkopf.  Come on, 
you have to know something.  It's like torture being at NERV all 
day long."
	"I don't know!  It's not like he treats me any better than 
anyone else.  He probably treats me worse."
	Crossing her arms, Asuka directed her practiced scowl at 
the TV. Shinji wouldn't, _couldn't_ lie.  If he was holding 
something back, she would know.  "Maybe," she said slowly, her 
scowl fading, "you're too big of a wimp for him to respect."
	Shinji's face turned bright red.  "Hey!  It's got nothing 
to do with that!  Besides, that doesn't explain why he doesn't 
like you."
	Asuka grinned, trying her best to keep Shinji from seeing 
her amusement.  She was supposed to be annoyed about the whole 
thing; if she laughed, it probably would dissolve Shinji's 
burgeoning spine on the spot.
	"You're just too bossy."
	The grin disappeared from her face to be replaced by a 
dangerous glare.  "What?"
	Again, he flinched away.  "Er..."  Shinji started to rise 
from the couch.  "Nothing!"  He sprang to his feet and retreated 
to his room before any violence could be directed at him.
	Asuka just shook her head.  A spine, but still no brains.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	The mood of the classroom was decidedly... rigid.  
Military-like. Everyone sat quietly in their seats, backs 
straight, eyes forward, all attention on the teacher even though 
they had heard the lecture countless times before.
	Hikari sat at her desk, hands folded in front of her, 
looking like the perfect little angel, ready to rain holy hell 
down on anyone who dared disturb it.
	Toji, sporting a swollen lip and angry red cheeks, thought 
she resembled more of a devil.
	Asuka sat with her head in her hand.  Her eyes were 
staring at the front of the classroom, but were looking 
somewhere very far away.
	She was hoping to avoid another dream, but it seemed to 
have burned itself into her subconscious.  It was getting more 
and more common, and... and with possibilities she wasn't going 
to dwell on.  It had become impossible to get a week's worth of 
undisturbed sleep.
	Those nights when she woke up sweating and trembling, the 
thought invariably flitted through her mind to just stop the 
game...  Then her rational mind would reassert itself, and there 
was no way she was going to give in.
	Sitting in class though, eyes threatening to close, vague 
images from the dream intruding on her, making her heart beat 
just a little faster, the idea of giving in swirled through her 
mind again, and she wasn't so quick to push it away.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"You've been reassigned again."
	Asuka sighed.  She was too tired to get annoyed.  "Where 
is it this time?"
	Fuyutsuki shrugged before answering, "Talk to Commander 
Ikari."

	"You want to play games?"
	"No, sir."  She should have felt safe in that relative 
darkness, but Asuka felt like she was completely vulnerable, 
laid bare with everything out in the open.  It was the most 
uncomfortable sensation, but she resisted fidgeting.
	"I've... tolerated your behavior this long only because 
Fuyutsuki continues to claim you are childishly innocent."
	His head tilted just a fraction of a centimeter to the 
right, and Asuka knew that this was his way of letting her know 
he didn't agree with the sub-commander.
	And the words stung her, causing her pride to flare to 
life. "Maybe if you--"
	"Enough.  If you wish to leave, I won't stop you."
	Face burning with anger and embarrassment, Asuka knew what 
he meant.  If she left, he would consider that a positive thing.  
Well, she wasn't going to give him that satisfaction.  "No, sir.  
I'm not going to quit."
	"Very well.  I expect your behavior to improve."
	Something about that made her nervous.  If he expected her 
behavior to improve, then...  "It will, sir.  So where am I 
being reassigned to?"
	Dread.  Slow, creeping dread.  It made its way up from her 
feet, over her knees, feeling like a cold draft.  'Tell me!  Say 
it!  I already know!' she screamed inside.
	"You know as well as I do."
	"Yes, I guess I do, but I don't understand."  Asuka stared 
at the supreme commander of NERV and wondered...
	"The only thing required of you is that you pilot.  You 
don't need to understand."
	Asuka snorted.  "Right about now, I'm trying to understand 
why anyone put you in charge.  You're not helping the attitude 
of anyone who works here."
	"It is not my job to be the cheerleader of NERV.  We have 
people like Major Katsuragi for that."
	The hiss of Asuka sucking air through her teeth was the 
only sound in the suddenly quiet office.  For some reason, that 
statement infuriated her when it shouldn't have.  "Misato does a 
good job."
	"Does she?"
	Was he looking for her to vouch for Misato, or was he just 
questioning her?  _Did_ Misato do a good job?  "We're alive.  
She does a good job, no thanks to you, sir."
	He looked at her for a moment, giving nothing away.  "Take 
this to Dr. Akagi," he said abruptly and slid an immaculately 
folded piece of paper across the desk toward her.
	Asuka's eyes flicked down to it, then back at the 
commander, but he was already back at his work.  Was this 
another test?  Shrugging, she snatched the paper from the desk 
and turned to leave, expecting to be stopped at any moment.
	Whatever test he had been giving her, if there had 
actually been one, she passed and was allowed to leave the 
office without further discussion or instructions with the paper 
clutched tightly between her thumb and forefinger.  For Dr. 
Akagi...  Asuka looked at the paper as she walked and pondered.
	Idly, she rubbed the two halves of the paper together, 
wondering what the situation was really all about.  Everything 
she was instructed to do, each encounter with Commander Ikari 
was a careful... exploration of her will, her mettle, her...
	It was like a doctor's exam, but not physical.  It just...
	Tonight.  Eleven.
	Two simple words and Asuka's eyes were about to bulge from 
their sockets.  She was looking at the unfolded paper, reading 
it.  Swearing to herself, she refolded it and held it purposely 
at her side.
	There had been no urge to read it in her, and she sure 
didn't need to know about any personal plans.  Asuka's pace 
picked up as she headed for the lab.  Best just to drop it off 
and be done with it.  Out of sight, out of mind.
	The situation nagged her though.  A note?  For wanting to 
keep the whole thing quiet, having someone curry a note seemed 
very, very stupid.
	"He expected me to read this," Asuka whispered.  "He 
purposely gave me this note and knew I would look at it."  
Scowling, she shook her head.  Another damned setup.  "Who's the 
one playing games, commander?" she said, her voice echoing down 
the corridor.

	"The commander wants to see you tonight."
	Ritsuko straightened up and faced the speaker slowly.  
"What?" she asked, her eyes narrowed.
	"He wants to see you tonight," Asuka answered casually, 
leaning against the wall.  "Eleven."  The note was held in her 
fingers, up where it could be easily seen.  "I hope you don't 
mind that I took a peek.  After all, I already know; it's not a 
secret."
	"You little..." Ritsuko growled and snatched the paper 
from her.
	"I'm just doing what the commander told me to.  Don't 
shoot the messenger.  I'm sure you'll get plenty of that later 
anyway."  She left quickly, before an adequate reply could be 
formed in the doctor's mind.

	Without attempting to suppress her grin, Asuka said, 
"She's very emotional."
	"Who?"
	"Dr. Akagi.  She didn't seem very happy to get your 
message."  She was still grinning and it didn't feel like it was 
going to go away any time soon.
	"Perhaps it was your method of delivery."
	Asuka blinked.  How did he...  No, he set it all up.  He 
practically knew how everything was going to go before it 
happened. "Well, maybe."
	"I will hear about this later."  He finally managed to 
spare Asuka some attention and glanced at her.  "She will 
request your removal.  Again."
	"She took the bait so perfectly!  It's not my problem she 
overreacted!" Asuka protested.  "It's your fault for setting me 
up with that note!"
	"Is it?"
	"Yeah!"
	"I did not force you to read it."
	Asuka was getting better; she wasn't caught off-guard.  
"You still set me up, using just a folded piece of paper like 
that.  You knew, and even if you didn't, you hoped I would read 
it anyway.  Why?"
	His shoulder twitched in the barest shrugged, and he no 
longer found her of any interest.
	"Who's playing games now?"
	"I told you nothing would be accomplished.  It distracts 
from what needs to be done.  I've already informed you of this."
	"Yeah, yeah."  Asuka found herself getting into it.  Even 
though he was giving her the same attention he might give an 
annoying fly, it almost felt like she was having an actual 
conversation with him.  Nobody did that.
	Except maybe Commander Fuyutsuki.  And probably Dr. 
Akagi... Asuka couldn't help but smirk.  If they even bothered 
with conversation.  "Sir, if you don't need anything else, no 
more games or anything, I'd like to head home."
	That got his attention for a single moment, and Asuka 
could see her faintly grinning face reflected in his glasses.
	"Request granted, pilot."
	There was suddenly a very large lump in her throat.  
"Th... thank you, sir," she said in a shaky voice and quickly 
left.  Out in the hall, Asuka had to lean against the wall in an 
effort to compose herself without collapsing.
	He just had to say that, didn't he?  Had to say something 
so similar to the dream, but there was no way he could have 
known that.  No way.  No.  Way.

End part 3

------------------------------

                             Slow Burn
                          Asuka's Project
                             Chapter 4
                   by fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	Asuka's choice of nighttime clothing had grown more 
conservative to the point that she was in red flannel pajamas.  
If there was anything more conservative, she hadn't found it in 
her size.
	Thinking serene thoughts--boring, unexciting thoughts--
Asuka settled into bed, nestled under the blankets, and tried to 
get some decent sleep.
	"Stupid Shinji....  Stupid father..." she mumbled.  
"Stupid NERV...."  With a final annoyed sigh, Asuka relaxed and 
slipped into sleep.

	She moaned in her sleep, her face carrying a frown.
	This dream was....  The routine was familiar, but subtly 
different.  In the changing room, behind a sheet hung up to hide 
her form from prying eyes, Asuka began to remove her school 
uniform.
	It was totally silent except for the sound of a single 
drip coming from the showers, which was quite unnerving.  Why 
wasn't anyone else there?  Even Wondergirl was better than 
complete silence.
	The sound of the door was almost furtive, as if someone 
didn't want their presence to be known.  Asuka, with her clothes 
half-removed, stopped and listened.  It could have been 
Wondergirl or Shinji....
	While the opening and closing of the door had been quiet, 
the footfalls that followed were not at all.  They were not the 
footsteps of a fellow pilot.  "Is... something wrong?" she 
asked, wincing at how loud her voice sounded, echoing in the 
emptiness of the room.
	The person gave no answer other than their echoing 
footsteps.
	Asuka waited to see if the identity of the visitor would 
be revealed.  The fact that she was so vulnerable was foremost 
in her mind, which _should_ have been silly since she was in the 
heart of NERV, but....
	The silhouette that presented itself through the screen 
made her breath catch.  The heart of NERV....  She should have 
expected it.  "Is there something wrong?" she asked and hated 
the quaver in her voice.
	He still didn't speak, just stood there and watched... 
her.
	Shivering in the cool air of the changing room, Asuka 
began to put her clothes back on.
	"Pilot Langley, report for synchronization test.  Pilot 
Langley."
	With a baleful stare, Asuka looked up at the little 
speaker the voice had just come from.  It appeared there would 
be no getting out of it.
	She turned her back to the sheet and began to undress.  
Really, she should have just left, but she didn't (not want to 
give him a show) get in trouble.  Dr. Akagi was a real (slut) 
stickler for schedules.
	Asuka had to admit to herself as her uniform dropped to 
the floor in an untidy heap that she was pretty much (desperate 
for his attention) a schedule person too.
	Not that she had a choice.  Her entire life so far 
revolved around (him) schedules and (she was desperate) sticking 
to them.  It was just (consuming her life, every waking and 
sleeping moment) a necessary evil.
	She was naked then, and her plug suit two feet away seemed 
such a hassle to put on.  "Why are you watching me?" she asked 
aloud, staring at the red suit.  "What is it about you?"
	You need authority in your life.  You need someone strong 
to control you.  You get away with too much.
	"I don't need authority," she grumbled.  "Misato's enough, 
always telling me what to do...."
	You have to pilot to _my_ standards, not yours.  You have 
to do what I say without question.  You have to obey my rules.  
You pilot... for me.
	Asuka found her head automatically nodding.  "Yes, sir."  
Sighing like a tired old woman, she reached for the sheet and 
yanked it aside.

	"Bastard!"
	She was gasping for air, her entire body soaked with 
sweat.  "Damn it!"  One night.  That was all she asked for, and 
apparently that was just too much.
	"Leave me alone so I can get some sleep!"  Frustrated 
nearly to tears by her inability to sleep, Asuka flopped back on 
her bed and stared at the ceiling.
	Every day.  She would have to deal with him every day, 
which wouldn't bother her at all... except for the dreams.  The 
dreams that wouldn't go away.  The dreams that demanded her 
attention every single night.  The dreams that were getting 
worse.
	But... not worse in a bad way, and that was what bothered 
her most of all.  It wasn't possible, just couldn't be, she 
wouldn't believe it that she was....  That she found anything 
appealing about Shinji's father.
	God, she couldn't even refer to him normally, since that 
seemed to raise odd thoughts in her head and cause stirrings in 
her stomach.
	"What do I do?" she moaned quietly before she fell into a 
much troubled sleep.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"Pilot."
	Asuka didn't bother wasting energy on answering him.  She 
was exhausted, physically and mentally, and she had no hope of 
competing with him that day.  Even though she felt like 
screaming at him, there just wasn't any point.
	"You are unfit to perform your duties."
	She mumbled something and stared at the floor in front of 
her.
	"Repeat yourself."
	"I said go to hell."  Maybe that hadn't been the smartest 
thing to do, but the words had been spoken.  What could he do to 
her anyway?
	"Come here, pilot."
	Her legs, weakened by exhaustion, carried her forward, and 
nothing seemed better than to just lie down right on that huge 
desk for a nap.
	"No, come _here_."
	Her legs carried her around the desk to stand right next 
to his chair.  This was strange that he would want her so close, 
but....
	He grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him.  With a 
quick jerk, she found herself bent over his lap, his knees 
pressing almost painfully into her ribs and stomach.  "This is 
your punishment for that outburst."
	Before Asuka could consider what he was going to do, she 
felt the sharp swat on her backside.  It wasn't quite enough to 
hurt, but it was certainly enough to get her attention.  Yet, 
even as the next blow fell, and the next, and the pain mounted, 
she remained silent.
	She would not whine, she would not cry.  Not for him.  She 
hadn't done it for her mother, and she certainly would not for 
her bastard commander.  Not for anybody, not even herself.
	The punishment stopped abruptly then, and that was when, 
to her shame and embarrassment, she could feel that indeed she 
was crying.  The tears were still dripping silently from her 
eyes.
	But this was not another bitter night in Germany, alone 
and abandoned.  Strong arms lifted her upright and cradled her 
gently.  Her head fell limply against the chest of her 
commander.
	As the moments passed, marked only by the steady beating 
of his heart, Asuka opened eyes she hadn't even realized were 
shut.  She could see his hand resting on her arm.
	He had used his bare hands to deliver the punishment, and 
then to comfort her.  For some reason, that meant more than she 
could fathom, and Asuka closed her eyes again, feeling safe.

	Consciousness returned to her slowly.  Though it wasn't so 
much that as it was... wakefulness.  Asuka's eyes snapped open 
at that realization.  Finally she had gotten some uninterrupted 
sleep.
	But had things really happened the way she... remembered 
them?  Had she really fallen asleep in his arms?  Just the 
simple memory, real or imagined, made her feel... warm.  That, 
and the safety she remembered, was something she hadn't felt in 
a very long time.
	"It's good to see you awake," a nurse said as she entered 
the room.
	That caused Asuka to sit up and take stock of her 
situation.  She was still dressed in the clothes she had put on 
that morning, and she was on one of the infirmary beds.  "What 
happened?" she asked, trying to sound completely calm and in 
control.  Had he carried her there?  Had anyone seen?
	"We received a request from Commander Ikari earlier today 
to go to his office.  You had collapsed.  We brought you here 
and ran some cursory tests.  You were simply exhausted."
	Asuka nodded absently.  How much had been a dream and how 
much real?  How many of her memories could she count on?
	"You can go any time you'd like.  Just get some sleep."
	If she were to lean her head against his chest, would his 
heart sound the same?  Would his arms around her feel the same?  
Would his hands look like that?
	Asuka's stomach twisted.  A dream.  It was a dream.  Just 
a dream, and it would be best to forget about it.  Forget that 
feeling of security and just continue on with life.
	"It's better this way," she told herself quietly, wanting 
desperately to believe it.  "It's... not right.  I need to...."
	'Yes, I can.'  The words came back to her.
	Could she really have everything she wanted?
	"Yes, I can."

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"I'm sorry about yesterday, sir."  She wasn't sarcastic or 
simpering.  Her voice was steady and even, just like her gaze.
	"I have a meeting to attend.  You are dismissed for the 
day," he told her as he stood and walked toward the door.
	"Are you sure you don't need--"
	"That is all, pilot."
	Either Asuka was getting better or Commander Ikari was 
less annoyed.  That hadn't been a reprimand or condescending.  
She wasn't quite sure how to respond to it.
	"Thank you, sir," she managed and quickly exited before 
him. She could feel him following behind her and unconsciously 
quickened her pace.  At any moment, he could put his hand on her 
shoulder and pull her back.
	All she had to do was shuffle to the right and he would 
plow right into her.  Trying to get herself under control, Asuka 
felt him brush past, the bottom of his jacket delicately 
caressing her hand like an invitation.
	By the time her little fantasy had run its course, he was 
far beyond her, walking away without a glance back.  One day, 
she vowed to earn that glance.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	Sitting in bed, Asuka wondered if maybe it was time to 
stop fighting.  Maybe that was her only way to get some peaceful 
sleep.  Just... accept the dreams, embarrassing as they were.  
After all, they were far from being nightmares; they were 
just... uncomfortable.
	With a beleaguered sigh, she laid back, pulling the covers 
up to her chin, and closed her eyes.  So what if she had a 
raunchy dream?  What was wrong with that?
	Not a thing.  And if she told herself that enough times, 
she might actually believe it.  There wasn't a thing wrong with 
that kind of dream anyway.
	That kind of dream about the commander though....  Still 
nothing wrong; it was just... odd.  And it really wasn't worth 
fighting any longer.  Not at all.

	She had crumpled, and he had stared.  Not a muscle had 
moved in effort to help her.  It didn't matter; he would have 
reacted the same under any circumstance.  Just because she was 
the Second Child didn't mean she deserved special treatment from 
him.
	No one received special treatment.  That would be 
perceived as a weakness.  If NERV personnel were continuously 
having their hands held, if they couldn't deal with a little 
adversity, they weren't wanted.
	In fact, more than one person had been dismissed for that 
very thing: failing to meet his expectations.  He'd done it 
personally and gotten great satisfaction from it.
	But when it came to important personnel, there was no room 
for any worrying or emotional outbursts to cloud his judgment.  
There was still so much to be done, so far to go....
	There was a soft knock on the door, interrupting his 
thoughts.  "Enter, pilot."
	The door opened, and his eyes followed the Second Child as 
she crossed the empty space to stand in front of his desk.  Even 
though they were looking at each other, his glasses acted as a 
barrier between them.  It was easiest to keep people at a 
distance that way.

	Asuka looked at him, trying to see past the tinted lenses  
How much did he know?  Maybe she had said something while she 
was unconscious. Maybe he knew about the dreams.  Maybe he could 
see it in her eyes.
	She lowered her gaze so he couldn't look directly into her 
eyes.  "Just wondering if there's anything you...."  She 
swallowed and felt ridiculous when the noise practically echoed 
throughout the office.  Asuka licked her lips in an attempt to 
banish some of the dryness that possessed her mouth as she 
continued, "Anything you need...."

	Gendo stared.  He was caught utterly speechless.  What did 
she think she was doing?  It had to be his imagination.  
"Pilot," he said sternly, more to cover up his confusion than 
anything, "I have no use for you today.  You are dismissed."
	Anything to get her out of there.
	"I really am sorry, sir," Asuka said quietly, ignoring his 
words.  "I didn't mean to pass out like that.  I was just so 
tired...."
	This didn't sound like the Second Child at all.  And she 
didn't sound apologetic either.  Again, it must have been tricks 
on his hearing.
	"You... understand, don't you?  I'm not in any trouble--"
	"You are dismissed, pilot.  Leave now," he ordered, 
knowing it was the only way to effectively get rid of her.  
Whatever she was doing was....  It was like she was....
	"I'm sorry for disturbing you, sir," Asuka said, then 
backed away from his desk.
	There was something oddly familiar about the whole thing, 
but he couldn't be sure what.  The tone of her voice, her choice 
of words, her body language....  What was wrong with him?  
Perhaps it was time for another checkup.
	"I dreamt about you."
	Gendo's eyes snapped on Asuka.  Had she just....  Did she 
really....  Why was this bothering him so much?  What the hell 
was going on?
	Before he had a chance to say anything else to her, she 
was gone.  For the first time he could ever remember, Gendo felt 
like he had been toyed with.  She had gotten the better of him, 
and he hadn't done a thing.

	She had seen his face.  She hadn't seen his eyes, of 
course, but she had seen his face.  The reaction there, however 
minor, was one to savor.
	It was true.  She really could have whatever she wanted.  
Asuka finally believed it.  Something delicious wriggled in her, 
and she knew she could have that dream made reality.  The dream 
she had finally surrendered to....
	With a grin, Asuka hurried down the hallway.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"Everything's normal."
	Gendo nodded, never giving away whether was pleased or 
not, whether he had expected that information or not.  He walked 
away looking outwardly the same, but inside, he was considering 
all the psychological tests the Second Child could be given.
	There was something obviously not right with her, and it 
was imperative to know if she would compromise his schedule.  
Everything then.  The full battery of tests; if it threatened 
his plan, there was no precaution he could afford to overlook.
	He would not allow her to stand in his way.

	She would have liked to explain, but he had stopped her; 
he wasn't really interested in what she had to say.  It wasn't 
because she was just a stupid child; she knew totally what she 
was talking about.
	She had just wanted to explain and see his reaction, know 
what he was thinking.  A thought she had often enough before, 
but had held a different meaning, came back to her.  Why was he 
so hard to deal with?  Why wouldn't he....
	That was reserved strictly for her dreams though.  Why 
wouldn't he open up?  Because that just wasn't part of his 
personality.  He would never do such a thing willingly, but that 
didn't mean she couldn't pry him open with her cunning.
	He'd definitely be tough though, since Commander Ikari was 
the master of such things, but she was pretty darn good too.  
She could get people to react the way she wanted.
	So with the commander that would just mean sticking to him 
a bit more closely.  She need to exploit all the opportunities 
she got.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	A sleepless night wasn't all that unusual for him.  Over 
the previous eleven years, he had spent too many nights staring 
blankly at the television in his richly furnished apartment, not 
seeing or hearing the world news as it was reported.
	In one hand, he would hold a glass of brandy, settling 
comfortably into his cycle of self-doubt and regret, 
interspersed with moments of hatred and near-obsessive planning.  
His other hand would rest in his lap, completely unmoving, as if 
it were no longer a part of him.
	Infrequently, his lips would move, forming a name.  Always 
this was followed by a moment of trembling, and then he would be 
still again.
	This night was the same.  Yet, amidst his cycling emotions 
was something new.  Not unknown to him, but different than 
usual.  Anger and a little confusion at Pilot Langley.
	Anger at her flippant behavior and casual attitude toward 
the Project when it was the most important thing in the world to 
him.  And confusion at just what she was trying to accomplish.  
This sudden change in her was one he didn't understand, and he 
wasn't sure he wanted to try.
	She was, after all, only a girl, and children often 
shifted moods and attitudes abruptly for little reason.  Except 
for Rei, but to expect her to be anything like other children 
her age was ludicrous.
	A soft chirping from the other room roused him from his 
thoughts. He remained seated as he listened to the phone ring.  
It had to be something fairly important for someone to call at 
such a time of night.
	It continued to ring.
	If it was that important, they would send someone for him.  
He didn't need to answer it.

	No answer.  No surprise really.  Fuyutsuki sighed.  Why 
did he have to be the sub-commander?  Why couldn't it have been 
someone else?  He was tired of dealing with it all: the 
children, the EVAs, NERV, Ikari....
	"Sir?"
	"Continue to monitor, captain.  Then we can at least form 
a more complete report."
	"Yes, sir."  The young man turned crisply on his heel and 
went back to his station.
	Not every blurb or glitch was worth reporting to Ikari 
anyway as he had two operating modes, neither easy to deal with: 
uncaring and ruthless.
	The stressed sub-commander was not in the mood to deal 
with either one, and if Ikari wasn't going to answer the phone, 
then why get overly worked up over it?  Because if he didn't....
	It really wasn't fun to be the sub-commander.

	Misato sat up in bed, eyes glued firmly shut.  Her head 
was throbbing, she was too warm, and worst of all, her bladder 
was about to explode.
	Forcing herself to her feet, hesitant to open her eyes 
lest she gain full alertness, Misato swore never to drink to 
excess.  Again.  One day, she figured she might try to follow 
through with it.  Then again....
	She exited her room quietly, making as little noise as 
possible.  Shinji was a pretty sound sleeper, but sometimes 
Asuka would wake up at the slightest creak of the floor.  And 
when the queen was awakened, she was an absolute nightmare.
	The apartment was still and quiet though, indicating both 
children were deeply asleep.  Too bad she couldn't say the same 
for herself though.
	A quick emptying of her bladder and Misato was making her 
way back to her room and her bed.  In the middle of the night 
with her head somewhere between drunkenness and hangover, there 
was nothing she liked better than pure si....
	Was that a moan?
	Wobbling down the hall to stand in front of Asuka's door, 
Misato listened.  It sure had sounded like a moan; maybe it 
didn't need investigating, but if Asuka was sick....
	There it was again, and it sure didn't sound like a moan 
of illness.
	Misato opened the door as gently as she could and peeked 
inside.  On one hand, she was dreading what possibilities 
awaited her, and on the other... she really dreaded it.
	When she saw Asuka perfectly alone in her bed, Misato 
released a silent sigh of relief.  It must have been just a 
dream then.  Smiling softly at the form of her charge tangled in 
the sheets, Misato started to shut the door.
	"Oh... mm...." Asuka mumbled as sensually as an asleep 14 
year old could.
	Misato just shook her head and wondered who the lucky boy 
was.  If Asuka was as juvenile as she tried not to be, it was 
probably Shinji on her mind.
	"Ohh," Asuka moaned and writhed around, "Commander...."
	Misato's brain immediately turned to mush.  She had to be 
hallucinating, just _had_ to be.  Quickly shutting the door, she 
hurried back to her own room.  She tried desperately to get it 
out of her mind that Asuka had been dreaming about....
	With a shudder, Misato got into bed and tried to get some 
sleep.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"Good morning!"
	"Good morning, Asuka.  Breakfast is almost ready."
	"Excellent, Shinji."  Asuka smoothed her dress out before 
she sat primly in one the chairs at the table.  "And how are 
you, Misato?"
	Misato could only stare.
	"Hm?  Is there something wrong, Misato?" Asuka asked with 
genuine concern.
	Misato wasn't quite sure how to answer.  There was 
definitely something wrong, but it wasn't with her.  Of course, 
just knowing was enough to make her queasy.  "I... suppose not," 
she answered quietly.
	"Oh.  Okay."  The odd reaction from her guardian didn't 
phase Asuka at all.  "When will that be done, Shinji?  It smells 
heavenly."
	Misato could only stare.  That wasn't like Asuka at all.  
Whatever was going on, she didn't like it at all.

	Asuka in a good mood was almost as dangerous as Asuka in a 
bad mood.
	"Good morning, sir!  I had another dream about you."
	Gendo deigned not to answer her.
	"So... is there anything I should do?" she asked, lightly 
bouncing on her toes.
	He glanced up at her, then looked back down.  "No.  You 
are dismissed."
	"Aww.  There's got to be something."
	She didn't see the gentle crease form on his forehead, or 
the tiny frown.  "No, you are excused, pilot," he said with more 
firmity in his voice.
	"Are you sure?  I'll just be sitting around all day 
otherwise."
	The crease grew deeper, the frown larger.  "Pilot, leave 
this office immediately."
	"You're sure you don't need anything?"
	Asuka took an involuntary step backward when he looked up 
at her.  There was no mistaking the anger on his face.
	"Pilot, we are having a failure to communicate here.  I 
said leave.  Do you understand?"  Gendo didn't raise his voice, 
but the anger in it was loud and clear.
	"Yes, sir, but--"
	"Pilot Langley...."
	Asuka watched in dreadful curiosity.  The commander seemed 
to be having trouble speaking, like he didn't know what to say.
	"Leave or I will have security escort you out."
	"But I just wanted...."
	That was it.  Gendo stood and marched over to Asuka.  
Without any words, he put one hand on her shoulder and turned 
her around.
	"Sir, you're so forceful," Asuka commented as he pushed 
her toward the door.  "You just need to ask...."
	The grip tightened painfully for a moment, cutting off 
Asuka's words and making her squirm.  "Sir...."
	At the door, with Gendo ignoring the pain he was obviously 
causing, he leaned forward to grasp the handle.
	Asuka tilted her head back and to the side as he leaned 
over her.  She was pulled back against him as he opened the 
door, and her nose brushed against the high collar of his shirt 
as he stood upright.  It was just enough for him to feel it.
	He looked down at her, and to her eyes, he was startled by 
the relatively incidental contact.  What better timing could she 
ask for?  She just had to do it.
	Not allowing herself to consider any consequences, she 
spun around, leaned her body against his, reached up and pulled 
his head down, all in one fluid motion.
	And then she kissed him.

End part 4

------------------------------

From: "Kozo Fuyutsuki" <fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com>
Subject: [Eva][FanFic] Asuka's Project 5
X-Moderation-Queue-Date: 1 Dec 2000 04:53:05 -0000

These characters and situations are property of Gainax, Hideaki Anno, 
and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto.

                             Slow Burn
                          Asuka's Project
                             Chapter 5
                   by fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	She counted to twelve, the number of times her heart beat, before
she let the kiss go.  It hadn't been anything to speak of since she had
been the only active participant, but there was something she just
couldn't help but feel giddy about it.
	"That was all I wanted, sir.  For now."  Very carefully
controlling her swirling feelings, trying to appear as if she knew what
she was doing utterly, Asuka turned and left the office, just waiting for
him to call out.  Whether it was outrage or curiosity, or anything else,
it would mean she had gotten to him.  She had pierced his shell.
	He didn't though.  Asuka hadn't earned that look back yet.  In
time she was sure she would, but she had wanted it so badly right
then.  She had felt, as she pulled her lips from his, the gentle, maybe
hesitant, or maybe automatic kiss, like he hadn't quite been willing to
let it go.
	Asuka sighed.  Still, it could have gone better, but she wasn't
going to discount what had happened.  Of course, what he would do next was
completely unknown to her.  Maybe she should have considered the
consequences after all.
	What was done was done though; there was no going back, so she
couldn't have any regrets.  And it was kind of fun to think that he might
have enjoyed it, if even for a moment.
	Whistling quietly to herself, Asuka walked off into the depths of
NERV.

	Outrage.  That was his first feeling.  Outrage didn't manage to
get a complete thought out before confusion took over.  Gendo hated being
confused.  It was something he had tried to eliminate from his life before
Second Impact.
	Yet, here it had cropped up again, and all because of the Second
Child and her... advances.  Whatever was going on, she couldn't be at NERV
as she was any longer, and she most certainly couldn't... help him with
anything.
	Back to school.  That's where she'd go, and she wouldn't pull
another stunt like that.  If she did... there were going to be dire 
consequences.
	Wiping his mouth on the back of his glove, Gendo returned to his
chair.  There were more important things to worry about.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"Something wrong, Ikari?"
	Gendo wiped his mouth again.  "Nothing."
	Fuyutsuki nodded.  He didn't really believe it, but there was no
point in pursuing the matter any further.
	For Gendo, there wasn't anything wrong per se, but he simply
couldn't get rid of the fruity taste on his lips.  Obviously the Second
Child had been wearing something when she had... but it shouldn't have
lasted for so long.
	Outrage was beginning to take hold of him again, but it was
tempered by the fact that he simply could not allow that girl to get to
him like that.  He couldn't allow it, couldn't lose control so
easily.  Not to a child, not to anyone.

	Asuka had enjoyed her day at NERV, even if it had consisted mainly
of sitting around and doing nothing.  The morning had started out a bit
shakily, but it had improved quickly.  At least she thought so, and she
hadn't been hunted down by security or requested back in the commander's
office.
	Though it wouldn't have been too bad really.  She would just
convince him that she was serious.  At least he took her seriously,
treated her like an adult.  Not like Kaji.  Kaji who only considered her a
child when she was probably as mature as he was.  Too bad he had missed
his chance, and she had moved on.
	Now all she had to do was form a solid plan of action.  This was
too delicate to play by ear, too entirely delicate.  One wrong move could
mean... very bad things.
	This was cobra against mongoose, and the cobra's venom was no less
deadly.  She, however, could be just as tenacious and wily as a mongoose
when it served her purposes.
	The commander would never know what hit him.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	Misato eyed Asuka as the three sat at the table for dinner.  The
girl seemed completely normal, even goign so far as to not yell at Shinji, 
which worried Misato more than anything.  If Asuka was anything, it sure
wasn't a normal girl.  "So," she ventured hesitantly, "how was your day,
Asuka?"
	"Fine.  Boring mostly."
	"The commander didn't have anything for you to do?"
	Misato wasn't sure whether that was a tiny smile on Asuka's face
or not.
	"Nope.  Nothing to do.  I'm sure he'll think of something
eventually."
	"I'm sure."  Misato watched Asuka eat for another moment, then
returned to her own food.  There was definitely something churning in the
pilot's mind, and Misato's instincts were warring.  Protect the child, or
stay the hell out of Commander Ikari's affairs.
	Misato winced.  That had been a bad choice of words.
	"Is everything all right, Misato?" Shinji asked, catching the look
on her face.
	"It's fine, Shinji.  Just... have some things on my mind tonight."
	"Ah."  Shinji continued eating, paying Asuka's oddly upbeat mood
no mind at all.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"You're acting strangely, Ikari.  Everyone can tell.  If you don't
want to say why, not that I expect you to, at least try to... to..."
	"Get myself together?  Is that it?"
	"Yes.  It's distracting the personnel to have you acting so
oddly."
	Gendo's lip quirked in amusement.  "They believe I'm acting
oddly...  So they'd prefer to have me back to my usual behavior?"
	"As odd as it may sound, and I thought it was pretty odd when I
heard it, yes."
	"Professor, have you ever considered the possibility that we're
wasting our lives?"
	Fuyutsuki stood frozen, his mouth hanging open.
	"I've grown weary lately," Gendo continued.  "I've begun to doubt
the Project."
	"But you...  What about...?"
	"I know it would mean abandoning her, but sometimes I wonder if
that wouldn't be best.  Let her rest the way she deserves; dismantle
Unit-01 once and for all."
	"Never!"
	Gendo looked at Fuyutsuki slowly.  "Of course not," he said
quietly.  "We've come too far."
	"SEELE....  We know too much," Kozo added, very disturbed by
Gendo's line of thought.
	With a shrug, Gendo turned away from the sub-commander.  "Idle
thoughts.  Nothing more."
	"Those type of idle thoughts are best kept to yourself.  The old
men wouldn't be amused."
	"Neither am I, professor."

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	Asuka crawled into her bed with only one thing on her mind: getting
a good night's sleep.  It had been ever so much easier getting decent 
sleep since she had let her subconscious mind loose at night.  It was
still sort of weird sometimes, but it wasn't anything she couldn't handle.
	And she knew it took something special to... to... to be....
	Before she could finish the thought, she was asleep.

	Gendo looked at his too large bed almost apprehensively.  His body
demanded sleep, but his mind wanted wakefulness.  To think, to consider,
to plan, to hate....
	For once, though, he wanted to sleep, to have a brief escape from
the reality he had known for too long.  And to escape from the silly girl
who really had no idea what she was doing.
	Doing... what she was doing...?  Disturbing him.  He still couldn't
believe that she had kissed him.  And he certainly couldn't fathom what
she was trying to accomplish by doing so.  What?  What could it be?
	Gendo dressed for bed with that question eating at him.  Settling
in for the few hours sleep he would get, with pale light shining through
the window, he stared up at the ceiling.  It was frightening, in an
abstract way, to realize he used the bed so little, he recognized no
features of the ceiling.
	But then, what did he have to gain by staring at the ceiling?  It
served no purpose at all, and certainly did nothing to assist him with his
goals.  Would Yui like it?  Would she like the apartment in its bare
functionality?
	Of course not, but... he couldn't bring himself to change it when
she was not there to see it.  There was little to motivate him without
her, and so getting her back was his only motivation.  Life was nothing
but a cruel joke to be suffered with no control over it.
	He was in a position to change that though.  As long as the Second
Child didn't distract him with her odd behaviors.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	Asuka smoothed out her dress and took a deep breath before
knocking on the door in front of her.  She knew he wasn't happy; he never
was, but she wanted that chance to explain still.  She wanted the chance
to try.

	Gendo watched the Second Child as she approached his desk.  Once
this little meeting was over, he'd have one less thing to bother him.  She
appeared nervous too, which pleased him.
	"Pilot, your daily presence is no longer required.  You will
return to school immediately."  His voice betrayed no emotion, not that he
felt much about the situation anyway.
	"I'm not going back to school, and you can't make me, sir."  For
emphasis Asuka crossed her arms.
	Gendo stared.  He had no idea what to do.  Most measure he would
use weren't acceptable because of her status as an effective pilot.  "You
will return to school," he repeated.
	"And I told you I'm not."
	"This is not a debate."
	"You're right."
	She was doing it to him again!  "You are in a unique situation,
pilot.  You are aware that most punishments for insubordination are not
practical in your case," Gendo said evenly, his voice unchanging.
	Asuka smirked and nodded.
	"However, you can be placed in a cell and removed only when you
are deemed useful."
	"Would you visit me?"
	Gendo counted silently to three.  "No."  He hoped his annoyance
wasn't audible in his voice.  He didn't want her to see him lose control
again.
	"But why not?  It'd be all dark and private."
	That was the last straw.  Gendo slammed his palms down on his
desk.  "You will remain quiet!" he thundered.
	"But I was only--"
	"You will not do this again!  I will not tolerate these games!"
He stood, but did not come out from behind his desk.  "I have tolerated
your past... behavior, but this has gone too far."
	Asuka watched him, her face remaining impassive except for her lip
twitching.
	Gendo's eyes narrowed.  If she smiled or grinned, she would be
incarcerated without a second thought.  "This is not a game.  I will not
tolerate this behavior any longer."  He paused, still trying to think of an
appropriate punishment.
	"What's wrong, commander?  What did I do?" Asuka asked innocently.
	"Your behavior is unacceptable."
	"What behavior?"
	Gendo's left hand clenched.  "I will not play this game.  This
childish behavior is not amusing."
	"Who's trying to be amusing?"
	That was it.  "Pilot," Gendo said through grit teeth.
	"It wasn't that bad, was it?  I know it wasn't great, but I tried
my best.  I was just doing the same thing that was in my dream."
	With abrupt intensity, Gendo's head had begun to pound.  "Get
out," he whispered with undisguised weakness.  "Get out of this office,
get out of my sight."
	"Don't you want to hear about my dream?"
	"Second Child...."
	"I thought you'd be flattered.  Or is that beneath you?  I may be
young, but that doesn't mean I'm not mature."
	Gendo stared.  What was she saying, this child?  What was she
trying to do?  He couldn't stand it any longer.  "What are you trying to
accomplish?"  His arms, still barely supporting him as he leaned on the
desk, felt like rubber.
	Asuka smiled.  "Just trying to get what I want."
	With his stomach churning almost violently, Gendo stood up
straight and walked out form behind his desk, past the Second Child, and
out the door.  He wasn't sure where he was going, but as long as it was
away from her, then it was fine.

	Asuka watched him go.  That had been totally unexpected.  She must
have really gotten to him to make him just leave like that.  He hadn't
even gotten that upset.  Was she losing her touch?  Was that what had
started the whole situation to begin with?
	She was still thinking things over when Sub-commander Fuyutsuki
appeared in the doorway.  He looked at her and the otherwise empty office, 
frowning slightly before speaking.  "Where's Commander Ikari?"
	"He just walked out, didn't say where he was going."  There wasn't
anything better than confounding people with the truth.
	The sub-commander narrowed his eyes, but didn't speak, before he
disappeared as abruptly as he had appeared.
	What must he be thinking?  Asuka giggled.  Really though, she
should have gone after him, at least silently.  Who knew what he was
doing?  He could have been calling security, or talking to Misato, or even
worse, her father.
	Going back to Germany was not an option.

	Security.  Call them and have them deal with her.  He didn't trust
himself any longer, and he'd just proven that he couldn't handle her.  His
hand was tucked firmly into his pocket to hide the fact that it was
shaking, however slightly, and he couldn't stop it.
	For a moment, he considered consulting Dr. Akagi, but dismissed
the idea quickly.  There wasn't anything she could help him with, other
than to continue her work on the Project.
	The realization struck him, and regret almost welled up from
within.  There was no one except those he needed for the Project.  There
were no actual people on the Project to turn to, only the tools he
needed.  The closest thing to an actual human being was his
second-in-command, but they certainly weren't friends.  There was too much
between them for that to ever be a truth.
	There was always Katsuragi.  Not to speak to, but to inform her
that she should keep a closer watch on the Second Child.  The major had to
be more firm with her discipline.  Yes, put the pressure on Katsuragi and
they would fall in line.
	Yet that wouldn't be enough.  It had to be more drastic, more
personal.  She had to know this wasn't a game.  So far, nothing feasible
had come to mind on how to do that while not jeopardizing her status.  
Eliminating a pilot would not be conducive to his scenario.
	There was the idea of calling her father, but sending her back to
Germany was out of the question, even if that was where he thought she
belonged.
	Gendo absolutely refused to believe the only thing he could do
was take the antics of the little monster.  He was the supreme commander
of NERV; he should have been able to find someone to deal with her for
him.  Damn the angels and the necessity of 14 year-old pilots.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	Asuka's heart was beating unusually fast.  "What have you been
doing?" Ritsuko asked as she marked on her clipboard.
	"What do you mean?" the girl asked in reply, knowing that her
heart rate was up and why.
	"Your heart rate is up significantly.  I'd almost say you ran down
here, but I know you better than that."  Ritsuko almost cracked a smile,
but she couldn't quite shake the anger from... the incident.  Asuka seemed
to have dropped it though, and it was best to keep things as non-hostile
as possible.
	"I didn't run," Asuka said, maybe a bit too quickly.
	"It's not a problem.  Just a little odd for you."  Ritsuko turned
to prepare the various other implements to finish the exam.  It was odd
how erratic Asuka was acting.  Certainly she was the least docile of the
three children, but she was normally consistent in her imperiousness.
	As she turned back around with thermometer in hand, Ritsuko got a
look of Asuka with an odd facial expression.  Her eyes were closed and her
head was down slightly with her hair framing her face.  There was a tiny
smile touching the corners of her lips.  She looked totally relaxed and at
peace.
	"Asuka?" Ritsuko said gently, and watched the girl's eyes open
slowly.  "I'm ready to continue."
	The smile that had faded when the Second Child had opened her eyes
returned. "Sorry about that.  Guess I was daydreaming."  She tossed her
head, sending her hair cascading down her back; she offered her ear.
	Finally, a tiny grin broke across Ritsuko's face.  "This will only
take a couple minutes."

	Misato was sipping from a styrofoam cup of steaming coffee when
Ritsuko entered.  She looked tired, but not as weary as she usually did.
Misato didn't say anything until her friend had filled her own mug with
coffee and approached.
	"Can I?"  Ritsuko motioned at the table.
	"Go ahead.  You're looking not as dead as usual today."
	With a tired smile, Ritsuko nodded.  "Thanks."
	"Good day?"
	"Not really.  Just... weird, I suppose."
	Misato nodded.  It was certainly something she could empathise
with.
	Ritsuko took a drink from her mug and released a grateful sigh.  
"That hits the spot."
	Again, Misato nodded, then took a drink form her own cup.  Rare
peace and quiet around NERV; sometimes she just wanted to bury herself in
the silence.
	"Strange though, when I was giving Asuka her exam, she was
acting... different."
	Misato lifted her head and looked curiously across the table.  
"Different?"
	"Yeah.  She practically fell asleep; said she was daydreaming.
When has that girl ever daydreamed?"  Ritsuko shook her head, and ironic
grin on her face.
	"I don't know about daydreams..." Misato mumbled.
	"What?"
	"Nothing.  I've been noticing her acting weird lately too.  That's
all."
	"I suppose when you're young, it's perfectly acceptable to act
strangely without question.  Ah, to be young again."
	"Hey!  I'm not that old!"

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"Hi, Kaji!" Asuka almost squealed, trying to sound like she was
actually happy to see him.  As long as he believed that, he wouldn't
suspect anything out of the ordinary.  She grabbed his arm tightly so he'd
give in faster to her demands, though he'd assume he was doing her a favor.
	"Hey there, Asuka," he answered cheerily, wearing that same grin
he always did when he dealt with her.
	Asuka had to stop herself from snarling at him.  How fake and
insincere could he get?  "Can you do me a favor?" she asked sweetly
instead.
	"Sure, Asuka.  What is it?"  He was still walking, paying as
little attention to her as he could.
	"Could you tell me where Commander Ikari lives?"
	"And why would you want to know that?  I don't think he'd
appreciate whatever you're planning on doing with that information."
	"Please, Kaji?"  She gave him her best pleading and pathetic look.
He always gave in to it.
	He stopped and looked down at her.  "I'll find out.  He deserves
whatever you're going to do anyway, just don't tell anyone where you found
out."
	Asuka nodded solemnly.  "I promise, I won't."
	"That's a good girl.  I'll see you around."  He pulled free of her
grasp and walked away.
	"Dummkopf."

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"I thought you were going to miss the meeting."
	"As much as I would prefer to, no."
	Fuyutsuki nodded.  That was more like the Gendo Ikari he was used
to.  "The Second Child told me you left your office--"
	"What else did she tell you?"
	Kozo blinked.  "Nothing.  It was still strange though."
	Gendo replied with a nod, but no words.
	"There is something very odd with you, Ikari, though I won't
pretend to know what."
	"I'm not quite sure either, professor."
	"That's a change."
	"Keep it to yourself."
	With a wry smile directed straight down the hallway they were
traversing, Kozo nodded.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	It was late at night, and Misato was just staring at the ceiling.
She wanted to be asleep, but it was just out of her reach.  She knew why,
but didn't like it at all.  Whatever Asuka was dreaming of was nobody's
business, but that horrified curiosity wouldn't leave her alone.
	With a muted growl, Misato kicked off the covers and tip-toed out
of her room.  There was silence from Shinji's room as was the norm.  Giving
the door an approving nod first, she moved to listen at Asuka's door.
She leaned her ear against the door and waited.
	Silence.  No moaning, no snoring, nothing.  Swearing silently to
herself, Misato opened the door and peered inside.  She was disappointed
to find Asuka curled up and sleeping soundly.
	Maybe it had been an isolated incident.  Probably.  Just one of
those weird things, like the time she had had that dream about Ritsuko and
some banana pudding.  That didn't mean she was in love with Ritsuko or
anything, so Asuka probably didn't have a thing for Commander Ikari.
	After closing the door, Misato went back to her room.  She hadn't
discovered what she had been expecting to find, happily, but her curiosity
was satiated.  Finally, she could get some sleep.

	Gendo swirled his glass of brandy, watching the liquid cling
desperately to the sides of the glass.  It was an appropriate 
visualization of the situation they were all in.  However, he had a much
easier time breaking the glass and letting its contents loose than
breaking the glass of reality he was in.
	For a brief moment, his arm tensed in preparation to hurl the
glass against one blank wall, but he held himself back at the last moment.
He began swirling the alcohol around again.
	He stared into it, hypnotized by the miniature whirlpool and the
light reflecting off of it.  Then he closed his eyes and tried to picture
her face.  Her image was growing fainter, becoming more and more of a
blurred ideal than the visage of his wife.
	The solemn vow he had made each time before this was repeated.
And he knew it would be repeated time and again after.
	Before that picture faded completely, he would achieve his goal.
Before he could forget what she really looked like, she would be with him
once more.  And then they would never be apart.

End part 5

------------------------------

These characters and situations are property of Gainax, Hideaki Anno,
and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto.


                             Slow Burn
                          Asuka's Project
                             Chapter 6
                   by fuyutsuki@secondimpact.com

                        --- * -- * -- * ---


	Asuka watched him avoiding looking at her.  She had Misato's
magazine held up in front of her face to appear less obvious.  She was
less obvious, but more conspicuous at the same time.  She just _knew_ he
was silently squirming, wishing she wasn't there.
	That didn't make her feel better though.  She didn't want him to
squirm and find her presence distasteful; he was supposed to want to have
her around.  So far, her progress on that front was minimal.
	It had been fun though.  Who would ever believe how easily she had
gotten under the commander's skin?  Not even she quite believed it.  Maybe
he was setting her up again, and he wasn't really bothered at all.
	But no.  He _had_ been flustered by her behavior, he _had_ been
surprised by her kiss.  It wasn't like him to be so... skittish? with
anyone though.  Certainly she'd have to follow up on this.  There was no
way she was going to just drop it, forget that it had happened.
	Asuka sighed loudly, not even realizing it.  She _could_ see
it.  She could see how tense he was, and for a precious moment, he looked
down at her.  A smile crept to her lips, almost shy.  He quickly looked
away though, transforming her smile into a frown.
	This would simply not do.

	"Asuka-chan, I have a little something for you."
	Asuka's eyes gleamed when she heard Kaji speak from behind her.
She whirled around, a wide smile plastered on her face.  "You got it?"
	Kaji strode forward, a slip of paper held confidently between two
fingers.  "Of course, I did.  Did you think I couldn't?"
	Snatching the paper from his hand, Asuka ignored his smugness.
It just wasn't worth dealing with.  Glancing at what was on the paper
first, she smiled up at Kaji, and tucked it into her pocket.  "Thanks!  I
know right what I can do with this."
	Without another word or look, she turned and hurried off.  Kaji
was no longer any of her concern.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	In the darkness and privacy of her room, Asuka held the slip of
paper up and stared at it.  Without light, she couldn't quite read it, but
she had already memorized it as soon as she had gotten the chance.
	The next step was to make a plan and execute it.  That sounded
simple enough, but even for someone as smart and confident as herself, it
wouldn't be easy.  After all, this was not only her commanding officer,
but he was also the closest thing to a living stone.
	She would have to break through that granite exterior somehow. And
that would have to be the very basis of her plan.  Plan....  This would be
a process, and there was no was to say how long it would take.
	It would take daily evaluation of the situation to determine just
when to make her move.  Her move....  How strange that sounded.  She had
never really made a move on anyone--Kaji didn't count--and here she was,
going after the commander.
	The commander....  Ikari Gendo.  If Shinji were half the man his
father was....
	Asuka tucked the paper beneath her pillow.  She couldn't really
make plans so late at night when her thinking was less than optimal.
She'd just have to wait until the next day when she was fully awake.
	Even if she didn't want to.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	At school, Shinji looked over at the empty seat and sighed just a
little.  It wasn't the same without her there, even if he didn't miss her
torment.  And walking to school was... peaceful, yes, but so... mundane.
The whole day just seemed less... less.
	Then at home in the evenings, Asuka seemed distant, though
generally polite, which confused him.  She had been plenty hard to figure
out before, but she was even more so now.
	Misato had even commented on the Second Child's odd behavior,
though she wouldn't give any specific examples.  At any rate, he wasn't
sure what was going on and knew that asking her would get him absolutely
nowhere.
	Asuka was apparently finding some value in working at NERV that
outweighed everything else; Shinji just wished he could find the same
thing.
	'_Ikari, can you give Asuka a message for me?_'
	Shinji blinked and glanced over at the class rep. Hikari was doing
a fabulous job of hanging on the teacher's every word, though he was sure
she had sent the message.
	'_Sure._'
	'_Just tell her to call me.  I haven't talked to her since she
left._'
	Since she left.  That described it pretty well.  Asuka wasn't all
there; her mind was busy with something else, and he, along with Misato
and Hikari, weren't worthy of her attention now.
	'_I'll tell her._'  Not that he thought it would do much good.
	'_Thanks._'
	Shinji nodded and looked at Hikari.  How she could even pretend to
be interested in class was beyond him.

	"Asuka?"  She looked like she was a million miles away.  Her
attention definitely wasn't on him.  "Asuka, Hikari wants you to call
her."  Shinji waited for her to acknowledge what he had said.  Certainly,
he didn't expect her to acknowledge _him_.
	Slowly, Asuka returned to full awareness of Misato's apartment,
and blinked when she saw Shinji standing in front of her.  "What do you
want?"
	"I said, Hikari wants you to call her."  He frowned as his only
way of letting her know he was annoyed.
	"Right.  Thanks."
	And with that, he was dismissed.  She didn't even insult him.  A
bit miffed, confused even, Shinji walked away.  Immediately, he could tell
she was back thinking about something very far away from that apartment.
	As for Asuka, she had far more important things concerning her at
the moment than calling Hikari.  And that was Section 2.  How could she
get past Section 2 to get at Commander Ikari?  Even if there weren't
security goons surrounding him at all times, they still watched him, and
of course they would be watching his apartment.
	That was really her first hurdle before all else.  If she
couldn't get past Section 2, nothing else would matter.  Maybe she'd have
to employ some unwitting help from Kaji, Commander Fuyutsuki, and
Dr. Akagi.  Just enough interference to allow her to slip past.  But it
would take research and time, and she was not a patient girl.

	"Misato?"
	Misato slurped up her noodles and looked at Asuka.  "Yes?"  She
spared a glance at Shinji to find his attention wholly on his food.
	"What do you know about Section 2?"  Asuka's food was completely
untouched.
	The idea to lie flitted through Misato's mind.  "What do you want
to know?" she said casually.  Maybe if she knew what Asuka was interested
in, it'd give her a clue as to what was going on.
	The girl shrugged, totally nonchalant and relaxed.  "Just
curious.  I heard the commander mention it a couple times, and you know I
couldn't ask him about it."  She smiled, giving it a secretive, knowing
quality, like it was something just between the two of them.
	Hesitantly, Misato returned the smile and nodded.  "Personal
security.  You know those guys that follow you everywhere and try to be
inconspicuous?  They're Section 2.  Any personnel of importance is under
their watchful eye."
	"So you don't have anyone guarding you?"
	Misato flushed and looked down at her food.  "No," she mumbled.
	Asuka grinned good-naturedly at the response.  "So they must be
pretty tough guys to watch over me; I know I'm the main target of
everyone's attention."
	Immediately, the look on Misato's face changed to one of
skepticism.  "Right."
	"So," Asuka continued casually, "they're always around?"
	"Yeah."  For a moment, a strange feeling overcame the older woman.
"Why are you so interested in Section 2?  I thought you were annoyed at
the extra security we insist on providing you."
	"Oh, I am.  I was just curious," Asuka answered simply, doing her
best to convey it as truth.  "And how might one...."  She shrugged, idly
running her finger along the edge of the table.  "You know... accidentally
lose them?"
	"Asuka, no.  They are not that bad.  Not bad enough to risk your
safety.  We won't let you dismiss them just because you don't like
them."  Misato's lips were pinched into a thin line as proof of her
unwavering position on the matter.
	Something clicked in Asuka's mind and her eyes lit up.  "But... all
the Section 2 guys know everyone else, right?  If you had some guarding
you, they'd know me and Shinji and Wondergirl, right?"
	Misato nodded, her features softening.  "Sure."  Now she was
really confused as to what was going on with the girl.  "What are you up
to?"
	"Nothing.  Thanks, Misato."  Asuka stood and hurried back to her
room, the gears of her mind spinning madly.  She wouldn't have to get
around Section 2; she could go right through them.
	Why would they care if a pilot was going to see the commander?  She
wasn't planning on attacking him or anything; she just wanted to....  To
what?  She wasn't totally sure really.  Maybe it was so she could just...
	Flopping on her bed, Asuka stared at the ceiling.  Just what was
she doing?  It was insane.  More than insane!  Yet, she had already done
something she couldn't take back, and she didn't want to.  Why should she
feel bad about it?  Guilty over it?
	It wasn't like he had rejected her.  He was just... confused, and
for that, she couldn't blame him.  If their roles had been reversed, why,
she'd have been furious!  Of course, she was 14, and someone his age
taking advantage of someone so young was incredibly improper.
	Being young certainly had its advantages.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"You're doing it again."
	Gendo glanced at Fuyutsuki and noted the amused look on the older
man's face.
	"This is starting to look like an obsession with you."  Fuyutsuki
waited for a moment to give Gendo a chance to say something.  To his
unsurprise, Gendo remained silent.  "That troubling?"
	"Possibly."
	The sub-commander's eyebrows rose.  "Oh really?" he said in a far
more interested tone than he had intended.  He quickly cleared his throat
and tried to reclaim his normally neutral expression.
	Resuming his contemplation, Gendo put one hand in front of his
mouth again and unconsciously began to rub.
	Fuyutsuki noticed, but made no comment this time.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	Gendo stared blankly at the flickering TV, glowering.  The problem
with the Second Child would not leave him alone, and it had started to
affect his behavior, as Fuyutsuki had noted earlier that evening.  That
was not good in multiple ways.  Obsessing over it accomplished nothing,
and over the girl was unacceptable.
	As much as he simply wanted to dismiss her, he couldn't.  This was
more than just his pride being hurt.  It had very little to do with pride
actually.  It was something... deeper, something he couldn't explain.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	Asuka pushed her chair away from the table with authority.
	Shinji looked up at her, noting the purpose with which she moved.
It was like... finality, like she was ready to tell them she was leaving
or something.  "Was breakfast okay?"
	"Perfectly fine, Shinji," she answered in a detached tone.
	Misato glanced up, noting the odd tone as well.
	"I think I'll be heading out now.  Give those Section 2 guys a
workout."  Asuka stood, gave her two housemates a perfunctory smile, then
exited the kitchen.
	Shinji looked to Misato, who was looking through the kitchen
doorway.
	She turned to him and shrugged.  "I have no idea."  Misato wasn't
about to tell him what she'd heard Asuka say in her sleep, but she could
see the worry on the boy's face.  Something would have to be done about
this soon.

	Asuka sat on the train, using the somewhat roundabout route to
NERV and the time it afforded her to think.  She needed to do more, needed
to....  She clenched her fist and slammed it on the seat.
	She needed to prove herself!  If only for herself, she needed to
demonstrate that she was strong enough to take what she wanted, the same
way he would.  That was what she needed to do: prove herself to be his
equal.
	So that meant....  Damn.  She was still without a plan on how to
actually do that.

	Ritsuko's lab coat fluttered as Asuka breezed past at a pace the
doctor didn't even know she was capable of.  "What the...."
	Asuka was out of sight before Ritsuko could even finish her
thought.  "Er... okay."  Shaking her head momentarily, Ritsuko continued
on her way.
	Eyes burning with determination, Asuka cruised down the hall, hair
flowing behind her.  This time she would begin the process of showing him
she wasn't to be brushed aside.  The Second Child was a force to be
reckoned with.
	Her footsteps echoed as she stalked down the corridor, approaching
the office of the commander.  To hell with courtesy; she would afford him
the same courtesy he gave her, no more, no less.  If he insisted in
treating her like a thing, then she would do the same.  Any game he could
play, she could as well.
	Without pausing to think too deeply about what she was doing,
Asuka opened the door and marched right into the office.  "Commander," she
began imperiously, "I demand an explanation."  She folded her arms across
her chest and glared at him.

	Gendo regarded the girl silently.  She demanded an explanation?
Interesting in a cursory way.  "Go away.  You have ceased to be amusing."
	He had expected her to explode, as was her normal reaction.
Instead, she returned his calm gaze.
	"I'm not going anywhere because I don't think you're very amusing
either."
	"You will obey my orders."
	"No, I won't, because you're just saying that to get out of this
situation; there's nothing for me to do and you know it."
	At least this behavior Gendo could deal with, not like she was
before.  This behavior he was well acquainted with because... because....
	"You will treat me the way I deserve to be treated.  You will
treat me the way a pilot should be; not like your personal slave you can
just ignore and then throw away when you're done."
	The words escaped in a humiliating moment of weakness.  "No,
you're not."  To his unexpressed shame, the girl stopped blathering to
just stare at him.
	Going through his routine of relaxation and resetting his mask,
Gendo spoke without the weakness this time.  "Pilot, you are already
treated beyond what you deserve.  Leave."  He had wanted to sound firm
with her, but his voice wouldn't cooperate.  Instead he ended up sounding
soft and ineffectual.

	Asuka heard the difference in his voice and decided to take a
chance.  "Sir," she began softly, approaching the desk, "I pilot to your
standards.  All I want is your recognition."
	Not the total truth, but she did have to pilot to his
expectations or she could be shipped back to Germany.  "Please.  We would
all get along so much better if you'd just--"
	Abruptly, Gendo stood, almost causing her to step back, but she
held her ground.  "Pilot, you are dismissed."
	Even through his glasses, in the dim light of the room, when his
eyes met hers, she could see the heat of the moment in them.  He was not
happy, which sent an odd thrill up her spine.  "I'm not going anywhere
until you see that--"
	"Will this be a repeat of before?"
	She didn't think it was exactly what he meant, but Asuka couldn't
pass up such a fabulous opportunity.  "I hope so."
	His brow furrowed.
	"Don't... don't you....  I won't do it again unless you--"
	"How many times do I have to repeat myself?  You are a child.  The
fact that you think this is... something shows how immature you actually
are."
	Sighing, Asuka looked at the desktop, at her own dejected
reflection.  "You think you've got everything worked out, know just how
it's all going to go," she said quietly.  "Things don't work that way
thought.  You can't plan for every contingency; something will always slip
through."  Turning her eyes back up, she noted the subtle way his
breathing had changed.  He was covering it very well, but not well enough.
"No plan is perfect."
	The moment stretched, and Asuka wasn't sure just what was going to
happen.  She wasn't sure anyone had ever seen the commander like this, and
she wasn't so sure she wanted to either.
	"I will hold you personally responsible for any problems from now
on, pilot," he said and barely managed not to hiss it at her.
	Asuka got the impression not of a snake, but of a large cat with
flattened ears, warning her to keep away.  She couldn't allow herself to
be so easily intimidated though.  "I'll take responsibility, but you won't
do anything to me."
	He stood to his full height, and finally the snake came through.
Still, Asuka would not back down.  She couldn't let the situation get away
from her.  It wasn't necessary for her to carry it, be in control, but she
couldn't let the commander get out of control either; who knew what would
happen then.
	"You are mistaken if you think you are irreplaceable."
	In that moment, he had gained a measure of control over things,
which she couldn't allow.  She wanted him perfectly off-balance; Asuka
wasn't so cocky to believe she could actually get the best of the
commander, but as long as she kept him doubting, wondering, things would
play into her hands.  Hopefully.
	"I'm not Rei; I'm not your little doll, and I won't allow you to
bully me like this.  I _am_ irreplaceable.  So are Rei and Shinji."  The
fact that he thought her replaceable....  The more it sat in her brain, the
angrier Asuka got.  That anger riled thoughts she wouldn't have ever
considered saying aloud.  "We're not any more replaceable than your wife
was."
	"Security."  He spoke too weakly and no one outside the office
could hear him.  "Security!"
	This time he was heard, and two of Section Two's finest, with guns
drawn, burst in.  "Sir!"
	"Take this girl to a holding cell," he said quietly, but with
authority as he looked at the Second Child.
	The two agents looked at Asuka as well.  "Sir, the Second Child?"
one asked hesitantly.
	"Yes."
	Receiving confirmation, the two holstered their guns, then stood
on either side of Asuka.  "Let's go."
	"It's not so easy.  You can't keep me down there," Asuka said
loudly, making it sound distinctively like a threat.
	"I can, and I will."  Gendo nodded at the security agents, who
swiftly removed Asuka.

	She kept a calm and controlled look on her face, but inside she
was frightened.  The commander didn't make idle threats, so if he had
something planned for her....  For once, she didn't bother with her
indignant act; Section Two, with orders from Commander Ikari, wouldn't
care how big of a fuss she made.
	Asuka glanced up at the faces of the men escorting her through
NERV and noted the hard expressions.  The temporary confusion at being
ordered to arrest the Second Child was no longer there.  She was actually
rather surprised they had showed any hesitation at all.
	"What do you think the commander will do to you two for
questioning his orders?" she asked in both curiosity and spite.
	"Don't be scared," the one on her left answered.  "It's just a
holding cell, not a torture chamber."
	"Yeah," the other added.  "Whatever you did, you must've really
pissed him off.  I could hear his voice down the hall."  The two shared a
chuckle.
	They hadn't heard that first pleading call though.  Only Asuka
had.  It made her doubt that he was as mad as security believed.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	"Hi, Misato."
	"Asuka, what did you do!?" she screeched.  It was clear from her
voice that she wasn't so much concerned with that as what action would be
taken against her charge.
	"It's... no big deal.  I guess I deserved it," the girl answered,
not exactly sounding nonchalant, but certainly unconcerned.
	"The commander is going to hear about this.  We can't have a
viable pilot in _jail_.  And a child to boot."
	Asuka sighed.  "I'm not a child, and don't go running to my
rescue.  It's not necessary.  I'm sure it'll all blow over and then
everything will be back to normal."
	"Asuka--"
	"No, Misato.  It doesn't matter to me.  You should know that he
won't do anything that might upset his precious schedule."  And she knew
he would never tell anyone what had really happened.
	"The commander...."  Misato shook her head.  "I don't know what kind
of game you're playing, but it's a dangerous one."
	At that, Asuka grinned.  "Maybe, but sometimes the risk is worth
it."
	Sighing first, Misato said, "I'll get you out as soon as possible.
And I'd reconsider those risks."  The woman left the cell without a glance
back.
	Asuka was plunged back into darkness and went to relax on the cot.
Of course, all this time in quiet solitude gave her a chance to think.
Her plan needed work; there was no way she was going to abandon it now.
It did occur to her that she was probably overmatched, that she'd never
break through that wall, but she wasn't going to quit just yet.
	Perhaps a direct confrontation.  Just go ahead and tell him her
intentions, what she wanted out of it all.  That would, in all likelihood,
accomplish nothing, but not doing anything _definitely_ accomplished
nothing.  She rolled to her side and stared at where the door was.  Of
course he wouldn't visit her; that had been an attempt to shake him, and
maybe it had even worked.
	But what did it get her?  Nothing.  What was she hoping to get out
of all this ultimately?  She asked herself that for about the hundredth
time, and still she seemed hesitant to answer her own question.  A sense
of accomplishment?  Hardly.  She wasn't interested in just knowing she had
gotten to him.  The comment about his wife had been little more than an
emotional low-blow.  She wanted... to have him.  _That_ would be the goal.
	Like taming Kaji had been a goal, tame the wild stallion, this was
just that much more difficult.  This was akin to making a pet of a shark
or wolverine.  How did a girl threaten a beast with no natural predators?
Asuka didn't know, but she was going to try.
	And at this point, with her original plan ready to fall into
shambles, Asuka was willing to go with the straight ahead approach.  It
seemed to be the only really viable option left.
	All she had to do was avoid getting thrown in a cell again.

                        --- * -- * -- * ---

	Time passed, but Asuka couldn't tell how much when the door
finally opened.  Misato had gotten her out, and not a moment too soon.
Her stomach was starting to make its annoyance known very loudly.  "It's
about...."  When she rolled over to face the door, she didn't see the
silhouette she had been expecting.
	He didn't say anything as he stepped through the doorway.  The
door closed silently, ominously behind him, plunging the cell into cold
blackness once again.
	"I thought you said you weren't going to do this," Asuka ventured
with far more bravery than she felt.
	When her words went without reply, she tried again.  "You know,
visit me."
	Still he refused to answer her, and in the dark cell, Asuka
couldn't even be sure he was really there.
	"Do you realize how you've tried my patience?"  His voice floated
to her with an eerie otherworldly quality.
	Asuka groaned.  "Not this again.  We already went through all of
it before you threw me in here," she said, flopping back on the cot.  "Now
you're trying _my_ patience."
	"You have no idea--"
	"No, you have no idea how irritating it is to rehash the same
argument again.  I know I'm trying your patience, and I know you don't
think I know what I'm getting into, and maybe I don't, but doesn't it go
'live and learn'?" Asuka said, somewhere between begging and preaching.
	"You have no idea what you're saying.  This is not an experiment.
This is the difference between survival and the destruction of humanity,"
Gendo intoned solemnly.
	Asuka almost believed him.  "A convenient way to blow off anyone
who gets in your way," she answered derisively.  "And if that's what you
think, that I'm in your way, then... you're wrong."
	This time, Gendo stayed silent, giving Asuka an opening to
continue.
	"I know what's at stake," she said quietly.  "I don't just pilot
for the reasons people think I do.  I had it drilled into my head when I
was still training that it would be more critical than I could imagine one
day."  She laughed a little.  "I was young.  I ate it up.  And I still
believe; I know the angels aren't attacking for the fun of it all.
	"I'm not trying to cause trouble.  I just want....  I just want
you."
	"You don't."
	"How would you know?"
	"You are a child."
	"I'm young.  I certainly wouldn't say I'm a child, not after what
I've been through."  The sour expression on her face was known only to
herself.
	"You are immature, whether your experiences lead you to believe
otherwise."
	Asuka sighed.  "Think whatever you want, but it doesn't change
things at all.  You can leave now.  This isn't going to accomplish
anything; you're not going to change my mind, and I won't change yours."
	There was silence again.  Not even their breathing was audible.
And then a footstep as Gendo turned on his heel.
	"I don't love you, you know," Asuka said suddenly, more loudly
than necessary so that her voice echoed in the small cell.  "I just want
you."
	A brief pause.  "That is a mistake."
	"Live and learn, commander."
	Gendo snorted in response, then the door opened, blinding Asuka.
	The door closed before her eyesight could adjust, and she was
plunged back into solitude.

End part 6